Need Advice.re: Educated, Professional Women

[blue passion]

I am a very sucessful attorney in a major metropolitain area. I'm 6'3...225lbs...athletic build..I live in a upscale neighborhood... I'm considered handsome, well dressed, worldly, sophisticated....yadda, yadda, yadda...you know all the rest....

oh..and I'm single....

I'm not a player or womanizer....but I do enjoy erotic times with women and couples.... the challenge that I have is that I've been searching for over a year for a partner in crime and havent had any luck.....no one even close....My pvt. life is just that...private. No one would suspect that I have this...shall we say....non traditional side....LOL

Yes, I'm selective....although I would expect my perspective companion to be as well.... but is that the reason it's been so difficult for me to find that upscale attractive, intelligent professional classy woman, who also enjoys non vanillia sex?

Where should I go, who should I see...are the web sites that I'm not aware of...where do I find this woman!!!???

I open for suggestions....any advice is welcome.....

Signed,
Desperate!!!!

[screaminggood]

Yummy! You should go to the 13th Floor on a Friday night...they let a few single men in, but you have to have a reservation.

[sexcupid]

Good suggestion from screaminggood, at least you are near some local clubs that will let single males in.

However, if in the grander scheme of things you are actually looking for a relationship...and are wondering how to find a professional/attractive woman that is also interested in the less vanilla way of things...well that might be harder to find.

Because let's face it, many females (not saying all, but many) don't want to feel that the only reason you are with them is the freaky sex. If they want the kink for a while, but then decide it's just not for them...but like (or even love) you and the relationship is going well, then what?

Most people that post on this board didn't find their mates either a) as swingers or b) certainly didn't start out being that way. That takes more patience...and if you read around here, most single fems in the LS are not here looking for a husband/relationship.

Good luck! Let us know if you go to the club.

[midnightplayer]

Develop a good profile on SLS (Swingerslifestyle) and begin to go to the chat room. Be polite and talkative and before long you will be sought out for a mfm. This should lead to other encounters like houseparties where they need an additonal cock for the ladies. Before long you will encounter a female that is interested in all the things you are. Good Luck

[BiloxiCouple]

Originally Posted by blue passion

...where do I find this woman!!!???

Next door...

There is that book on, "How to pick up women".

Lastly, if I had the answer, I couldn't share it. It would reduce my chances of partying.

Seriously, there is no answer. It just happens.

[blue passion]

I'm amazed!!!!
Simply..Amazed!!.....Thank you all for your thoughts, comments and suggestions. In posting, I had no idea the kind of responses I would receive (if any at all)....and candidly, thought anyone who would respond would have been condescending at worst...sarcastic at best-!!!.....wow..have you guys proved me wrong!!!
Very thoughtful and helpful...thank you...

[blue passion]

Btw....my profile on SLS is ....Blue Passion...

[iapr]

I agree with sexcupid but will take it one step further and say that women are just not natural born swingers. Your chances of finding a good looking single female without a ton of issues in the lifestyle is pretty challenging to begin with but to add all those other stipulations and characteristics to it is really asking a lot. For that you may be better off just hiring an upscale escort when you are in the mood to go out.

Also as sex cupid mention many of the women on this board and in the lifestyle are attractive, educated, intelligent and classy women but they became swingers after many years of traditional marriage and family life.

The typical female nomenclature is to find a mate, make a home, raise a family and then indulge in all the trimmings that the lifestyle has to offer. You are looking for someone to do all that bass ackwards. It could happen I s'pose but how much more time and energy are you willing to put into it.

The way I see you have a few realistic options.

-one is do like all the rest of us have and get a traditional girlfriend/wife and build an ongoing traditional relationship and at some point bring up swinging and either she will go for it or not.

- Hire an upscale escort for the times you want to hit the lifestyle clubs (in the long run that will cost a hell of a lot less than a wife)

- Try and smooze the single fems already in the lifestyle and learn to live with all their flaws and shortcomings.

I don't mean to sound mean or condescending but c'mon. If a gal is attractive, educated, intelligent and classy but yet still has a colorfull sexual side why would she be single and looking for someone just to go to swingers partys with? A gal with that resume' could get all the sex and excitement she wants without the baggage of some guy that just wants to have a swing partner.


Keep in mind however that anything is possible with enough time, energy and money. You just have to ask yourself how much of those things you are willing to put into it.

[blue passion]

Again, great comment.....However, i would counter with this...she is here for the same reason i'm here.... not necessarily wanting her two worlds to collide causing massive "black holes" in both her personal and professional universe...LOL
Finding someone with a broader out look on sex and sexuality is, I assume, much easier here than on E Harmony......Though you made me ask myself a question...will I find an attractive, educated, intelligent, classy "partner in crime" here....or a couple who knows of someone who fits that discription?.....I began laughing as I was writing that last question.....I guess if i was a couple, who knew of a attractive, educated, intelligent, classy woman..with a colorful sexual side...why in the hell would I tell her about some guy on a website and spoil me and mrs, good thing?....LOL

[sexcupid]

I assume when you use the word 'here' you are talking about finding someone in the LS already.

Read around on the board here (particuarly in the Singles/Swinging forum). You will find that most of the SF that are posting there are in the LS for the sex, they aren't looking for a boyfriend/husband/swing partner.

Most SF have plenty of offers for playtime (be it with couples or single males) that they don't need to partner up. A couple of SF friends we have in the lifestyle are wary of single males that want to partner up because usually they only want to do so to get into a 'couples only' party.

And your last assessment is right...it's like a parent that finds a good babysitter, people might not be willing to share that information.

[TravlParty]

Yes we do, and she's all ours dammit!

All kidding aside, if we were in your area, we'd be happy to introduce you.

Alas, we're not.

Good luck to you! Yes, there are women such as you describe out there. Three come to mind right now.

[SexyNSingle]

Originally Posted by blue passion

I am a very sucessful attorney in a major metropolitain area. I'm 6'3...225lbs...athletic build..I live in a upscale neighborhood... I'm considered handsome, well dressed, worldly, sophisticated....yadda, yadda, yadda...you know all the rest....

oh..and I'm single....

I'm not a player or womanizer....but I do enjoy erotic times with women and couples.... the challenge that I have is that I've been searching for over a year for a partner in crime and havent had any luck.....no one even close....My pvt. life is just that...private. No one would suspect that I have this...shall we say....non traditional side....LOL

Yes, I'm selective....although I would expect my perspective companion to be as well.... but is that the reason it's been so difficult for me to find that upscale attractive, intelligent professional classy woman, who also enjoys non vanillia sex?

Where should I go, who should I see...are the web sites that I'm not aware of...where do I find this woman!!!???

I open for suggestions....any advice is welcome.....

Signed,
Desperate!!!!

My Goodness you sound absolutely devine. I am however in Canada, and don't know how we could meet up. Do you travel for work? If so, we could meet for drinks .

S

[blue passion]

Thank you

[ncmd_couple]

Blue_Passion,

Big D is great if your single, but hell on a married man. All those beautiful women! Unless it has changed since I lived there in the 80s! I hope not!

Anyway, on to your topic. Actually, you might be able to meet the lady that you are interested in on e-harmony, match, or some of the vanilla sites. I met my wife on match, and met two very nice ladies on e-harmony. So don't rule it out.

The trick is to know what you are looking for, and keep looking for it. And fate plays a hand also. My wife found me on match, we haven't figured out what it was, maybe a typo in what she thought she was looking for. No one wants to out themselves that they have sexual fantasies etc.. But once you find a profile that you are interested, ask questions that their responses will indicate their vews on sex and love. Even with the restrictive questions on e-harmony you can do it. I did. Being a lawyer, use your instincts to get to the heart of the matter. Use those professional skills on this task as well, you have them, use them.

You don't mention your age, and that is a factor here. I'm 50, so women in my strike zone are past their child bearing years. And kids will defenitly put a damper on possible swinging. Yes, I know, many swingers have kids, but it does restrict things. And women with small kids are considerable more protective of their mate

Good luck!

Damn I managed to write that without a single lawyer joke!

S

[ncmd_couple]

Blue,

Ok, I went and looked at your SLS profile. I would say that your odds are better than you think. When I was on the market, I met quite a few women. Most of them I dropped like a hot rock! But it does work. You just have to be patient and use your skills. And once you have actually met the lady, ask her what her beliefs are. One big mistake I made with my wife was candy coating my desires. Wish I had told her the truth years ago!

S