Well... that was brief!

[SexyRedmondCpl]

I know the first thing everyone is thinking. Yes the thread title is misleading

What we're referring to is actually a dialogue (if you could call it that) that we've been having with a couple over SLS. We spotted their profile a week or two ago and sent a "how's it going?" introduction. Nothing fancy, just a paragraph or so about why we liked their profile and would they be interested in talking further, maybe meeting up to assess chemistry. What we got back was a terse, "Sure we'll chat. But we don't really like a lot of people we meet."

Okay, so not outright rejection, and maybe we're just misinterpreting the tone as a consequence of the lack of audio cues and thought context on our end. We sent a reply (about 3 paragraphs, as we try to do with all couples) stating any preferences not directly in the profile, briefly mentioning how long we'd been in the lifestyle, etc. Then we tried to probe for more info on them. Again with the two sentence response, "Our experience is X. We want everyone to be comfortable."

Is it just that some people don't email well? We don't feel like we've gotten a lot of traction, but they aren't blowing us off either. How would you all react? Should we just assume their e-demeanor (Ooo... coining new terms is fun) will translate into their in-person demeanor and drop it?

[2insandiego4u]

It sounds like a bad attitude and just very negative. If you want to go ahead and meet them, plan for a quick coffee at Starbucks rather than lunch or dinner!

[Chicup]

That must be a very attractive couple. I'd have stopped at the '...we don't really like a lot of people we meet.'. I can't think of a lot positive coming after that.

[JustAskJulie]

Have to agree with both of the above. You made it further than I would have.

I find that people who have major issues it's typically them but they think it's everyone else. In this case, they say they don't really like a lot of people... I would take that to mean that they have a lot of issues that keep them from getting along with a lot of people.

[Dynamar]

In my experience, you either click with someone or you don't. And those you click with, you generally know right away.... within one or two communiques. From what you've told us, if they're non-communicative and/or you don't understand what they're trying to say... there is no 'click' there. I'd move on.

[CPL4XTCY]

We have found some-people are just not comfortable with expressing themselves with a keyboard so short curt replies do happen often.

Your next contact should be to set up a meeting and see if you all click.

We are not big fans of computer dating as you never know who is really emailing so we move things to a in-person meeting quickly to asess their real personalities.

[SecretAsianMan]

I've met some folk who're are perfectly okay in face-to-face meetings - but they're very abrupt and sometimes "rude" sounding online... it's hard to describe, but some folk just don't have that.

As long as they're good people in person - it all works out.

...but yeah, that "attitude" response you got on an initial e-mail contact doesn't bode well

[good times]

I know it may be hard to believe based on my often long winded posts here, but I am the master of the short email. I don't know why, but I just don't do email well. I have often had people tell me they thought I was going to be a real jerk based on my emails. Apparently, I am not so bad in person.

So, while I would have to agree with the others here that said they probably wouldn't have went any further after that first email from them, we have found that our impression, based on emails, is usually totally wrong. So I wouldn't have any problem setting up a face to face meet with them either.

[LikeMinds321]

"Sure we'll chat. But we don't really like a lot of people we meet."

goodtimes ~

I doubt that you would send THAT line to anyone.

Even for people who don't care to write, or feel they aren't good at it, I think they would find a better way to warm someone up.

My reply to them would be "adios" with a few nice words added.

LM

[jdavisauto]

You have more patience then I. I would have given up at "we don't like a lot of people". Some people just don't know how to articulate in e-mails. If you do meet these people it may just be like hi and bye. Good luck.

[SexyRedmondCpl]

Hey, thanks eveyone. I should clarify that the original response as posted is paraphrased, but that's definately how it read to us. Re-reading it now, it was marginally more tactful... marginally.

We actually sat on that response for a week before sending our second message. My thought was, as has been echoed here, that maybe they just aren't e-mail people. Lord knows, there are plenty of people who don't express themselves well in one medium or another. For instance, to talk with me (Mike) on the phone, you'd probably think me a pretty big jerk. We wanted to see if we could ellicit a more complete response from them before passing judgement. That move didn't really work out so well...

I was hoping for a resounding concensus here , but things seem pretty evenly split. I guess the question to resolve is, "Is it worth possibly having to put up with the jerks we perceive they may be, to not miss out in the (equally likely) event that they just don't communicate well?" ...

[two42lovers]

We've had good success meeting people online, but we don't fool around with a lot of emailing back and forth. Lots of really cool people seem to have a hard time with email -lol! We prefer to chat on the phone early on (all involved) and make plans to meet. It's a lot easier to get answers to the kind of questions you have by talking on the phone.

[LFM2]

"Sure we'll chat. But we don't really like a lot of people we meet."

[sarcasm]Glad they chose the right hobby that involves people. ;( [/sarcasm]

[nudists4couple]

To SexyRedmondCpl,

I would not feel bad at all by the person's reply. I have found that people who reply with well thought emails / postings will be just as gratifying in a conversation in person and other areas too. My wife and I have sent nice long emails to folks too only to get a 1-2 sentence response in return. Nothing turns me off faster than someone who can't talk with intelligence and provide me the same courtesy I do for them. I would not sweat the person's response but instead treat the response as a preview of what you would have gotten in person, probably something disappointing.

[JustAskJulie]

would you share their actual response? It would be interesting to see if we all read it the same way...