Certifications - are we over-thinking this?

[good times]

I would say that certs are moderately important to us. Normally, we will look at someones pictures and profile to see if we seem compatible. Then we will look at their certs to see if they are real. I have to admit, most folks we have tried to meet on SLS that didn't have certs never met us, and turned out to be a waste of time. So that has had a lot to do with how we view certs. Now days, someone would really have to seem hot to us for us to put out any effort if they had no certs. Which I guess is the bottom line, if someone has certs we would be more inclined to invest the effort to meet them than someone who doesn't have certs.

As far as our certs are concerned. We find it is best to have a few good certs rather than a whole bunch of certs. We have also noticed that it seems to be important to have recent certs. So what we do is periodically go through our certs and ad a new one or two and drop some older ones. We almost never have more than about a half dozen or so. We also prefer the ones that do not include how fun we were in the sack, or any other direct confirmation that we actually had sex.

[JustAskJulie]

The more I think about this, the more I think it's probably a wash.... damned if you do, damned if you don't.

On the one hand, if we don't have certs there are obviously some couples who would pass us over. On the other hand, if we do have certs there are still some couples who would pass us over because we either have too many certs, or certs from someone they don't care for. The latter I find a bit retarded, just because you and they didn't get along but we got along with them, doesn't mean that you and we won't get along.

I'm thinking we will probably stick to our original decision and feeling that we just don't like the way the whole cert process goes against the concept of discretion. If they were anonymous, it would be a totally different story, but it's just no one else's business who we've played with... and as someone else pointed out, certs between people who have only MET but not played mean little, as they really don't prove anything about whether or not the couple is who they say they are lifestyle-wise.

[two4youinswva]

This may be an option to overcome the whole cert/no cert thing:

I've noticed that some couples on SLS have one cert, and it is from the hosts of the club they have attended.

The cert usually says something along the lines of "This great couple attended one of our social events and they are very nice".

Very neutral certification, definitely indicates they are real (real enough to go to a club), but doesn't reveal bedroom secrets.

Just a thought.

[two42lovers]

Interesting discussion. There is a site with a cool way of "certifying" couples. You have to send the webmaster a pic of the two of you, holding a sign saying "certify us".

It's a good thing to know if a couple is actually is in it together when they make a couple's profile, and it's good to know if they showed up at a gathering and seemed nice to the host (or one of the other attendees.)

If certs are years old, you know they have been playing for a long time. If they have recent certs, you get the idea they are active. People only post the certs they want, so you can get an idea about their involvement in the lifestyle, and how they want to be seen.

Depending on what certs say, and the people who gave them, we can learn a lot that makes us want to contact someone. For us, seeing people are certified is never a negative. We decide if we are intersted in someone by looking at their profile - not the profiles of people who certified them - but we can get an idea of the kind of people they like to play with by the certs they choose to post.

We totally agree with the idea if someone doesn't want to meet us because of who we've accepted certs from (or anything else in our profile) that's good. Just because we met someone, or if we played, we wouldn't give or accept a cert. There has to be a reason. Usually it's because we think they'd appreciate getting it.

[good times]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

On the other hand, if we do have certs there are still some couples who would pass us over because we either have too many certs, or certs from someone they don't care for. The latter I find a bit retarded, just because you and they didn't get along but we got along with them, doesn't mean that you and we won't get along.

We actually thought about this a quite a bit and came to the conclusion that this was probably a good thing. The fact of the matter is, most of the folks we have actually accepted certs from are usually pretty good friends of ours. So, if a potential play partner is going to have a problem with it, it is better to get that out of the way before anything gets started, as far as we are concerned.

[Chicup]

I have to confess that at times I check the profiles of whoever did the certification and if those people seem like people we would definitely not be interested in, we pass over the profile.

Over all I'd say I like LL's basic certification system rather than 'what a wonderful and sexy couple' type.

[oakridgecouple]

For us, certifications kind of authenticate a male that we might be interested in. We have yet to meet someone from SLS yet but trying. The thought is that if they have some then they may understand what we are looking for.

Just our 2 cents worth.

Jim & Rebecca

[pervgeeks]

We have a couple of certs and both couples we're still friendly with, one we see regularly at parties and meet & greets, so it's obvious we're friends. We're comfortable with what we have, but not particularly seeking more (and respect those who choose not to do the cert thing). By no means do we want a long laundry list of everyone who we've met or played with on our profile.

[Jeepgurly]

We accept and give certifications. We accept them from whoever gives us one as long as its not crude or insinuating something that never took place. We however only give them to people that we felt like we connected with and would like to get to know better. And generally we like to keep it PG and stick to what kind of people we think they are.

We also tend to look at certs when looking at people's profiles, if they are long time members and have no certs I wonder like a lot of other people if they are legitimate or just pic collectors, or some other kind of fakes. When people have certifications they help me to get an idea of what kind of people they are and who they tend to hang with and sometimes you can glean which couples they just made an impression on and which ones they've played with and based on that, if we are their type or if they are ours. I think we are attracted to a very specific type of couple, young trendy, cool, in good shape and if we notice a theme in the type of company they keep then we can pretty much decide wether or not we think we might hit it off. All of that plays into wether or not we're interested or wether we think we'll be compatiable. Maybe we're superficial, which is fine but we know what we like and we look at the profile pics, read the profile thoroughly and look at certifications to figure out what type of people they are and who they tend to hang with. We also look at the fact that while they may have made an impression on a lot of people and received lots of certs most people only return certs to the people that they've played with or connected with in some way and those are the certs that say the most to us the ones that they've returned. You'll also notice the people who try to rack up as many certs as possible by certifying everyone they meet and only a 1/8 of those people return the certs. We think the certs say a lot....

[des1re06]

I'm curious about this now that you've got me thinking.

Example: A good looking couple contact us. We check out their pics, profile and then certs.

We notice that all their certs are from "perfect body" types.

This goes through my head: Why are they contacting us? We're not perfect. We immediately think we won't meet their expectations because we aren't similar to the people they've played with.

Hmmm, does anyone else do that?

Mrs. D

[good times]

Originally Posted by des1re06

I'm curious about this now that you've got me thinking.

Example: A good looking couple contact us. We check out their pics, profile and then certs.

We notice that all their certs are from "perfect body" types.

This goes through my head: Why are they contacting us? We're not perfect. We immediately think we won't meet their expectations because we aren't similar to the people they've played with.

Hmmm, does anyone else do that?

Mrs. D

Yep, we do that, but if they contacted us, and they are hot, it wouldn't stop us from writing them back.

[Bama0468]

how about this wrench... what is to stop someone from making another account and certifying themselves? As for us we don't care about certs, we prefer word of mouth ( pun intended)

in the begining we would try to meet up, if we go stood up ya better have had a good reason ( good thing we never got stood up) we meet you, you meet us, we might have a party where more friends from each side are invited and expand the network... after all is that not the best way?

[des1re06]

where more friends from each side are invited and expand the network... after all is that not the best way?

I have to agree. Parties have been the best way.

Mrs. D