Are some "swingers" just married cheaters?

[newlythree]

I also have a question. Not sure if this is the right area to post, but hopefully someone will direct me if it isn't. The question is are there people on the SLS area that are married and are just cheating on there spouse. I had a guy today trying to talk dirty to me but his profile said he was a couple. So I asked if was a couple or single. He responded single, so I questioned his profile. The answer was he wasn't supposed to rub it in his wife's face he does this. Then I felt like an intruder to a typical marraige, so I stoped talking to him. I explained I would rather speak to a single or an open couple. Have others ran into this? I must be a little nieve but I figured "cheating" people wouldn't be here.

[VegasLee]

You are going to find 1000's of cheaters, both male and female on the Internet.

Many that are single will list their self as couple because many people block singles and they always think they are the one to change a couples mind.

You will find many guys that are married, listed as a couple or single but are married guys cheating, you will find some women that do the same thing.

Cheating is not swinging and way to many people don't seem to understand that. A cheater is NOT a swinger no matter how they try to explain it away.

If someone has their self listed as a couple but is really single, they are a lier and no use dealing with them either. Too many real, great people in this lifestyle to deal with the Trolls of life.

[iapr]

I would venture a guess that the vast majority of all singles (yes women as well as men) fall into one of these catagories.

- active cheaters (either married or otherwise in a steady relationship) actively seeking other people to fuck outside their primary relationship without their partners knowledge or approval.

- quasi-cheaters, which are those that have some form of tacit approval from their partners because their partners are sick of them and would rather they get it somewhere else than bug them for it.

- dreamers, wannabees, looky-loos, picture traders and a countless variety of others who lurk about the webites seeking some form of stimulation either with or without their partners approval but they have no intent of actually meeting anyone or having any form of physical contact with anyone.

Now before you get all riled up and accuse me of single bashing probably a majority of couples profiles also fall into one of these catagories as well.

I guess I don't have a problem with cheaters using the internet to find fellow cheaters to cheat with but I wish they would stick to actual cheater sites or AFF rather than trolling around legitimate swinger sites. The thing that pisses me off is that they must assume that since someone is a swinger that must mean that we fuck anything that moves and that we have no moral standards or any scruples. I find it offensive when we get hit on by a cheater because that means that not only are they a pig rolling around in slop but they must be assuming that we are also pigs that would consent to rolling around in their slop with them.

As far as I am concerned the only bandwidth and keystrokes that a cheater on a swinger site deserves is whatever it takes to delete and block.

[LikeMinds321]

Cheaters gravitate to swingers ad sites! Think about it, what a great place to look for people looking for sex.

Problem is these cheaters don't know what swinging really is and they don't care. They also know there will always be other cheaters like themselves looking for the same outlet. Add to that, some swingers will overlook the fact that they are cheating and will play with them anyway. All of these facts make the situation for those of us swingers who want nothing to do with cheaters all the more challenging because we've always got to be on the lookout for any signs that a profile we may view is a cheater's profile.

I've got tons of profiles that I've made a note: SUSPECTED CHEATER

LM

[two42lovers]

As far as most of the profiles on swinger sites being cheaters or posers, maybe not, maybe so, BUT if you only consider well written profiles with convincing pics and glowing certifications (from convincing profiles with their own glowing certs) the ratio is very much better.

If they say "I'm married but my spouse doesn't play" it's easy enough to confirm, if you are so inclined. If it is a "married, but not to each other" couple, it's easier for them to decieve you. Usually they won't pretend to be married (harder to create the lie) so if you only play with couples who live together, you are likely to avoid the cheaters.

[ownerspet]

I have seen many profiles of couples that made me question, the validity of whether they or he or she are a couple. I have actually seen some marked as a couple in the stats, and then in the body of the profile, they actually say "I am a single male or female."

My opinion is that there are probably many singles or possibly married cheaters that mark themselves as a couple in order to show up in more searches of couples looking for couples. So he may have been a cheating spouse, or his wife may have known he was engaging in swinging. Either way, married or not, if he isn't swinging with his wife/spouse/significant other, you should consider reporting him as his profile on sls is misleading.

Because when people see someone listed as a couple, they expect a swinging couple. Therefore for swinging purposes he isn't a couple in my opinion.

[tribbles]

I've even found couples who are not married to each other but they are married, yes both of them, to someone else. And in the course of their affair found swinging. So they act like a couple, even feel kinda like a couple but they are both cheaters!

Cheaters are everywhere and it's a tad depressing at times. Before swinging, we really didn't think people were cheating as much as they are.

[NakedInSeattle]

Short answer - yes.

[JustMrJ]

Yep, we have noticed this too... our first 'meet and greet' with a 'couple' turned out to be single male posing as a couple and his 'play partner' conveniently didn't show.

Valuable lesson learned. We know better now.

[VegasLee]

After some thought I believe the correct title for this thread should be:

"Do some cheaters think they are swingers"

[red96]

We run into it on AFF all the time, not so much on SLS so far though. We had a guy that kept sending messages recently and we replied to them showing a little interest. As time went on he sent one that said his wife was to be out of town for 2 weeks and wanted to meet and play during that time. That was pretty much a good sign that he was cheating on her, we told him we were no longer interested in further contact with him. I explained that we were not interested in playing with anyone that would cheat on their spouse. He replied thanking us for our honesty and hasn't contacted us since. There have been others over the past few months and it seems they are usually pretty easy to figure out. We like to chat with potential partners and when they are vague about their home life that is usually a good sign as well and we pass on them.

[tittietwister]

We are too frequently approached by cheating males advertising themselves as couples on SLS, AFF (which we quit), and altplayground. I'm sure we invite it by stating that we can/do play alone (only with the consent of all) but there ARE social sites for people seeking "affairs" - Ashley-Madison being a very popular one.

[twohots4u2]

Basically, it bothers us too. We get many "couples" who are visiting our area and want to meet us. Then, when the meeting gets close, we find out on the phone that the female "could not make the trip but the guy still wanted to get together." We just need to keep our BS detector turned on high.

[Chris&Amelia]

I'm just a little surprised that cheaters really think the "oh my wife couldn't make it/was ill but let's play anyway" scam is going to fool anybody.

[newlythree]

Well, thanks y'all. There has been a good response to this thread. In the recent weeks since posting this thread we have had to weed out several cheaters. Well, maybe not several, but quite a few. It has gotten easier as it goes. We have gotten to where we flat out ask them in first intial conversation whether that is by phone or chat. If we dont like the answer we tell them thanks for your time and interest but we will have to pass. Most have apprciated our honesty with them.