multidimensional profile

[socolais]

So many times I've read people's frustrations with conventional hook-up site profiles. It's really difficult to get a feeling about someone we've never met through a few short paragraphs and a couple of grainy photos. Some creative people turn to IM or video chatting as a better way of getting to know someone before spending the time and gas to drive to the other side of town for coffee or a meal with someone new.

We all have stories about how we overlooked an online profile and later decided in a face-to-face meeting that these folks were actually interesting. And a thousand other variations to that scenario.

It quickly becomes clear that there's no substitute for an actual face-to-face meeting when it comes to deciding who we'll climb in bed with or even want to kiss on for a little while.

But we really do need a useful and effective filter mechanism - we just don't have the face time or the want-to to meet with everyone.

Has anyone tried using one of the online blogs as a way to get to know someone and then actually met them? I've met two local folks through Flickr.

The first one, was really a hot lookin married woman with a very cheerful and flirty personality. She was on the younger side of what I typically look for, but at first she sounded fairly mature. The more we communicated and I read her responses to other commenters, I came to the conclusion that I would likely prefer someone else. Nothing really negative about her, we just didn't "mesh". We've never met face-to-face so I'm not completely positive about my assessment, but I'm reasonably confident there are better matches for both of us.

The second lady was an impressive flirt as well as being easy on the eyes. We met later at a party and it was clear that we could very likely have some fun together sometime. I'm looking forward to testing that theory.

So, those observations lead me to believe decent photographic resolution and blog type running commentary make a pretty good filter to decide where to best apply our limited resources toward making new connections.

I was wondering if anyone else had any stories to share about their blogging as it relates to meeting new folks or communicating with existing playmates.

[theboy]

Originally Posted by socolais

We all have stories about how we overlooked an online profile and later decided in a face-to-face meeting that these folks were actually interesting. And a thousand other variations to that scenario.

This happened to us - we met a couple at a party that we never, in a million years would have thought to message. They were very receptive, and we've exchanged info.

Originally Posted by socolais

Has anyone tried using one of the online blogs as a way to get to know someone and then actually met them? I've met two local folks through Flickr.

That sounds good for people that are wanting to get to know singles, but I'd imagine it'd be hard to find a couple doing that. Or is it?

Originally Posted by socolais

So, those observations lead me to believe decent photographic resolution and blog type running commentary make a pretty good filter to decide where to best apply our limited resources toward making new connections.

We often point people to threads we post on at forums, or our online picture website (not sls), and use things like IM to get to know people. We haven't invested the time in blogs because we imagine that the signal to noise ratio is too high to have many hits. Perhaps we're wrong?

[sexcupid]

Interesting idea socolais.

However, if most people were just to read my blog they would get a jaded version of me. Why? Because while I may use it now and then to be funny, tell a silly story, do memes/quizzes/etc...sometimes I quite literally use it as my soapbox/platform/personal bitchfest when I'm trying to sort through a problem or issue. It helps me calm down, take a look at all the ideas that may have been bouncing around in my head, and just get out some frustrations in general.

So, while a profile may be second best to actually meeting someone...I don't think I would want someone deciding to meet me (or not) based on my blog.

Neat insight from someone who's tried it though.

[socolais]

Originally Posted by sexcupid

So, while a profile may be second best to actually meeting someone...I don't think I would want someone deciding to meet me (or not) based on my blog.

A blog or any other form of online communication can never convey all the complexities of an individual - and perhaps that's a great thing. Everyone filters what they put into their blog. Over time, a blog generally exposes how you think and something about your personal values. Your list of blogging buddies says something about you too (birds of a feather). And I'm not talking about sexually explicit blogging here either - my personal blog is very vanilla with almost no overt sexuality.

As an extension of the concept, imagine if many folks linked to their Swingers Board comments from their SLS profile (or equivalent). Do you think people would get a more complete understanding about those folks? Assuming they were interested enough to read. Do you think people that might pass you by based on the additional information would be actually doing you a favor?

As an example of something conceptually similar - I became interested in a local couple based on their comments they posted here on SB and I contacted them. This was before the avatars were reactivated and we arranged to meet without any prior exchange of flesh colored pixels. We had a good idea of how each other thought and we all felt comfortable basing our decision on that alone. We did exchange photos before we met face-to-face.

I'll bet we've all read comments by other members here and thought, "I like the way they think and I imagine we could have some fun together."

Originally Posted by theboy

That sounds good for people that are wanting to get to know singles, but I'd imagine it'd be hard to find a couple doing that. Or is it?

Most of the blogs I've seen are by individuals, but there are several where the couple both participate on a joint blog and maybe have separate blogs for some of their other thoughts.

I'm not really trying to sell this as a new approach that would work for everyone, just brainstorming and describing my observations with some things I've tried.

[sweet_tna]

I'm more of a chatter than a blogger. I prefer a more interactive form of expression. But I do think that's an interesting approach, Socolais. I too, have often found myself thinking I'd really enjoy the opportunity to meet certain board members based on their posts.

Like that Mr. Sweet, for example. He's smart, has a great sense of humor, and lives in my area. One of these days, I'll get to meet him . . .

=)

[pervgeeks]

We've been told by some people that we've met that our profile was a little "intimidating". It IS long and detailed, but we don't like (or have time for) endless chatting and our view, as people who are very serious about playing, is we don't want to waste time with people who aren't into the same things. It's amazing though how often we get messages from people who obviously have not read our profile at all.

It's funny though, we have a couple we've become friends and regular playmates with whom we met at a party, but overlooked them online. There's nothing that measures up to real life.

[personal416]

Originally Posted by sweet_tna

I'm more of a chatter than a blogger. I prefer a more interactive form of expression.

=)

Likewise... we're both attracted to and heavily engaged in the interaction of forum-style exchanges like this. Probably because it fits our style of being able to interact in sound-bite fashion.

For us, we only find blogs useful for posting "Trip Reports" or sharing progress on something.

[sexcupid]

Originally Posted by socolais

Everyone filters what they put into their blog. Over time, a blog generally exposes how you think and something about your personal values. And I'm not talking about sexually explicit blogging here either - my personal blog is very vanilla with almost no overt sexuality.

Honestly, I really tend to let lose on my LJ about anything that may be bothering me or just to get feedback...and some of it has involved our alternative lifestyle choices.

As an extension of the concept, imagine if many folks linked to their Swingers Board comments from their SLS profile (or equivalent). Do you think people would get a more complete understanding about those folks? Assuming they were interested enough to read. Do you think people that might pass you by based on the additional information would be actually doing you a favor?

Again, another interesting idea that might warrant some deeper thought on my part...but my initial response is to think it would be pretty beneficial to get a more complete picture of the person/couple. Why? Because you are seeing a different facet of personality/personal values/etc in their posts. Whereas the SLS (or similar) ad is to try and 'sell yourself' to potentially interested partners, a person's response to a touchy subject (say playing with cheaters or forcing a partner to do something) might just steer you away from that person. It might be a blessing in disguise.