Personal Expressions of Affection in Email

[OhioCouple]

Really....Maybe it's just Texas then.

I certainly don't communicate like the last example though. Now I DO think that is out of line. I'm not so sure that it's proper etiquitte even with someone you know. I'm sorry, maybe I missunderstood what you were trying to get across.

C&D,

I don't think you misunderstood, in fact your point is valid and well taken. Anytime we visit home, (meaning the south), It takes a few hours to get into the comfort level of the "touchy, feely, haven't seen you in forever, now hug my neck" mode. Where the general part of the U.S. will offer a hand to shake, most southerners will probably give ya a hug as a welcome. (Even if they have no clue who you are.)

Having been raised all around the country (military and moved often) the south is the only area (I have seen) where emotions are expressed often with words and physical touch. Rarely will you find that in any other parts of the country. When you do, you have to wonder what the motive is.

In the south you are always considered a friend until proven differently. It is one of those small aspects that make me proud to call the south my home. Gives me the warm fuzzies just to think about it. (That and I love grits!)

Perhaps I am too sensitive as my husband thinks, and am not really seeing beyond the verbage for what it really is. I just know that for me, I find the language offensive, inconsiderate and impolite when sent by someone we are not close to.

BTW, those were not actual e-mails/letters, but a fair representation of them.

Lori

[sccple29073]

Lori,
continuing of the subject...I am still trying to explain to hubby about banana sandwiches..his family is from the north and never had banana sandwiches..lol..G.R.I.T.S Hows that go? Girl's Raised In The South?

Ok back to topic..lol..Ecen though I have lived in the south all my life, When it comes to my everyday life, I hate being called "sweetie" or hun. by total strangers! I find that women and men use it (ex: Hold on sweetie...etc.) I mean, why does my mechanic call me sweetie!!!

However, in my personal life, i don't mind the sweetie's or the XXOO, because i don't take meaning into it. I generally end most of my e-mails with XXOO. Now do i want to run over there and hug and kiss everyone i e-mail. No, but that's just how i like to end it.

Just out of curiousity (sp?)...Initially you said it irritated you that people you didn't know spoke to you like that...and then later you responded with examples of e-mails, however those were after you had sexual contact with the offending party...Do you get that either way or do you only recieve offending letters after a sexual encounter. and if that's the case then is it possible you may be using their etiquette to hide what you may really not like, after all sex is a pretty personal thing.

Sincerely,

[sccple29073]

sorry for addition, but also curious...You mentioned that sometimes you just end anything (nicely) after they have spoken to you using terms, as mentioned. Have you ever explained to the people that you r not into that, and tried to continue the "relationship"?

[OhioCouple]

Just out of curiousity (sp?)...Initially you said it irritated you that people you didn't know spoke to you like that...and then later you responded with examples of e-mails, however those were after you had sexual contact with the offending party...Do you get that either way or do you only recieve offending letters after a sexual encounter. and if that's the case then is it possible you may be using their etiquette to hide what you may really not like, after all sex is a pretty personal thing.

I just used those as an example of how comfy some people might get after a sexual encounter. They were not actual letters but yes we have had people that have felt that it was acceptable to toss in some intimate verbage after only meeting for a dinner or what not. Then of course there are those that find it acceptable to send you a message using XOXOXO or calling you babe or sweetie or whatever in an initial greeting sight unseen.

I suppose I have the same feeling you do when your mechanic calls you "sweetie". They don't know you, heck you could be the bat from hell. How do they know? If my mechanic said something like that to me, I would know they were playing on the old "You are a woman, and you are going to get fucked one way or another." Usually shows up in the final billing. Unfortunately for a mechanic in my case, I can tear apart an engine and put it back together. I am most likely just bringing my vehicle there because I don't feel like messing with it. The point here being is that often this sort of terminology is used, especially more towards women than men in a demeaning way.

I'll agree on another point you made too and thanks for touching on that. If we have had a sexual encounter with another couple, although it is a very personal and intimate experience shared, it does not in my eyes give them the go ahead to take the bedroom talk to the living room.

BTW, loved your definition for Grits! Haven't heard that before! And get those Northerners to try a banana sandwich, I've managed to get quite a few to take that first bite...and they love them now too!

Lori ~ I'm out of Jif! ;(

[OhioCouple]

You mentioned that sometimes you just end anything (nicely) after they have spoken to you using terms, as mentioned. Have you ever explained to the people that you r not into that, and tried to continue the "relationship"?

No I haven't explained this to anyone that I felt offended by. One of my flaws I suppose, as I should probably give them the benefit of the doubt or at least the chance to correct it.

I am just so offended by the lack of what I consider courtesy, that I do not want to deal with it at all. Perhaps it just comes from working with the public so much and seeing what goes down.

I am sure that we have missed getting to know some really nice people due to my lack of tolerance.

BTW, my husband does not share my point of view on this subject but respects my feelings. I can say that although he does not find it offensive, I have never seen him be casual in his talk towards anyone we do not know well.

Lori