drinks,dinner or something

[28volts]

My question is, what does the word something mean to you? How does everyone think they should use this word?
When I see this word, I see a discreet way of saying sex/playing. We have to be discreet ourselves and appreciate it.Please,any help to understand when people want to play by using discreet words. :surrender

Mr S

[Mr.T]

Exellent question,28.

The english language is loaded with double meanings.The word 'something' in and of itself is just an adjective.People tend to give it a meaning that suits the individual,so asking what it means generally is an impossible question to answer.

It would depend on the pesonality of the user.To a vanilla,it could mean a movie,a walk on the beach,etc.For a swinger,it could have a multitude of meanings .

I myself can't say it has any one meaning for me.It depends on who I'm asking.
Example.You meet us (telly and I) a local coffee shop.Things go well and we invite you to our place for dinner or 'something'.Based on the convesation,and little visual cues(flirty looks,comments,etc)you may probably get the impression we wanted to play.Chances are you'd be right.

Another example.To me,everything I just posted is my way of saying something.But someone else may read this and think"what did he say?".

Something to think about.

Great brain teaser,28volts.

[NakedInSeattle]

That's the way we'd take it. "Or something" would mean play to us. It really doesn't have anything to do with being discrete or not. It just sounds better than saying "drinks, dinner or fucking."

[28volts]

Originally Posted by NakedInSeattle

That's the way we'd take it. "Or something" would mean play to us. It really doesn't have anything to do with being discrete or not. It just sounds better than saying "drinks, dinner or fucking."

Well, we took that the same way when doing a first meet. I read to much into that word and we ended up being disappointed. Don't get me wrong,we like this couple,it's just we were expecting to play... ..you know..shaving and taking the play kit.. luckly we did not pay for a room in advance.Their personal ad did not say anything about not playing on the first meet.
Please, if anyone out there decides not like playing or would not consider it, then please do not use the word something Help the horny people out there that read to much into a word,like ourselves.

Mr S

[NandTfromCA]

I read "drinks, dinner, or something" as "drink, dinner, and whatever else we can think of that sounds fun." Sometimes it's in place of dinner/drinks, like dancing...sometimes it's after dinner/drinks, like sex.

We wouldn't "schedule" sex with someone we haven't met before. We need to meet them to find out if it is game on.

Mr.

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by 28volts

Well, we took that the same way when doing a first meet. I read to much into that word and we ended up being disappointed. Don't get me wrong,we like this couple,it's just we were expecting to play... ..you know..shaving and taking the play kit.. luckly we did not pay for a room in advance.Their personal ad did not say anything about not playing on the first meet.
Please, if anyone out there decides not like playing or would not consider it, then please do not use the word something Help the horny people out there that read to much into a word,like ourselves.

Mr S

I think in general "something" is usually meant as an "open ended" statement. I think most people use it to imply that sex may be an option but that doesn't guarantee it will happen. As with anything you can't let your expectations rule the night. Even if they'd invited you over for SEX you may have still been dissapointed.

Chances are they may have invited you over with the thought that play may be a possibility then once you got there something changed. Maybe they (or one of them) just wasn't in the mood, or perhaps she got a visit from Aunt Flo.... or maybe things just weren't clicking between all 4 of you the way you may have thought they were. Whatever the case you went expecting "or something" to mean "and sex" and they went into it thinking "or something" meant "and maybe sex". If we want to get technical on syntax we can look at the fact that the word "or" is used to begin with and realize that it means "instead of" rather than "in addition to".... and I'm guessing you had dinner and/or drinks, right?

[28volts]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

I think in general "something" is usually meant as an "open ended" statement. I think most people use it to imply that sex may be an option but that doesn't guarantee it will happen. As with anything you can't let your expectations rule the night. Even if they'd invited you over for SEX you may have still been dissapointed.

Chances are they may have invited you over with the thought that play may be a possibility then once you got there something changed. Maybe they (or one of them) just wasn't in the mood, or perhaps she got a visit from Aunt Flo.... or maybe things just weren't clicking between all 4 of you the way you may have thought they were. Whatever the case you went expecting "or something" to mean "and sex" and they went into it thinking "or something" meant "and maybe sex". If we want to get technical on syntax we can look at the fact that the word "or" is used to begin with and realize that it means "instead of" rather than "in addition to".... and I'm guessing you had dinner and/or drinks, right?

Yes, we had dinner and drinks.Like I said I read to much into the word and will not do that again. Just hope that people will see this thread and think before writing.We are still new, learning and hope we will get better at this.

Mr S

[LFM2]

Originally Posted by NakedInSeattle

That's the way we'd take it. "Or something" would mean play to us. It really doesn't have anything to do with being discrete or not. It just sounds better than saying "drinks, dinner or fucking."

I have to admit that I've used this verbiage myself. It does sound better than dinner drinks and then maybe fucking, but that's what I mean.

Maybe the "or Something" in someone elses message could mean a movie, going to the zoo, hang out at our place and watch porn?

[NCcuriouscpl]

I guess I'm naive, but I would have taken that as.....Let's get together for drinks, dinner, or whatever everyone decides would be a fun way to get to know each other! But as I said, I'm naive! I've used the phrase myself, but when someone responded we discussed what we'd like to do and agreed before we met............so I guess it could be taken in a variety of ways!

MsNCCurious

[ownerspet]

I would tend to think that "or something" means if everyone clicks we might get more involved, we might play. It doesn't appear to set any definite plans.

That's the way I interpret it... :dancenana

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by NCcuriouscpl

I guess I'm naive, but I would have taken that as.....Let's get together for drinks, dinner, or whatever everyone decides would be a fun way to get to know each other! But as I said, I'm naive!

I don't think you're naive, I think many people would interpret it that way. I would have interpreted it the same way, most especially when it's a blind/first date. "Something" could mean go dancing at the club (what we usually do), go shoot pool, etc.

We never assume that there will be play on a first date. We don't assume we'll be attracted to the other couple in person until after we meet them, and we surely hope that there are no expectations from others, either. No matter how many emails and pictures have been exchanged, we've often met people and had very different impressions of them after we meet face to face. Sometimes for the better, sometimes not...but it's never real until it's real. We never know if we're interested in sex with them until we meet them and spend some time with them. That's why we never insinuate before the meet that we'll have sex with them that night.

Some couples have asked us directly (not dropping coy hints) before we meet for the first time, if we'll play that first time. We tell them what I just said in the last paragraph. Sometimes, the other husband will ask again, and maybe even again (thinking the answer will change?), and at this point, we realize they're pushy. We meet them anyway. The husband starts applying pressure early on about what's going to happen that night, we get turned off, we end the evening a little earlier than we might have liked. We don't see them again, because 100% of the time in our experiences with this to date, the man's personality is too pushy and aggressive for us to be interested.

We have on occasion had sex on the first "date", or at a club on the first night we've met a couple when we're out of town....but it's happening mutually, the chemistry's happening face to face, and nobody's pushing it (no expectations). Most of the time though, we get acquainted the first time we go out, flirt and have a good time, and if it goes really well, maybe get intimate with them next time. It varies a lot. Can't stand people pushing for a yes, no or maybe before we even have met them, though!

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by 28volts

When I see this word, I see a discreet way of saying sex/playing. We have to be discreet ourselves and appreciate it. Please,any help to understand when people want to play by using discreet words.

Mr S

Hey Mr. S,

Discretion in the lifestyle is great, it means that people will respect your privacy, not kiss-and-tell, not expose you, will behave when they're with you in public, will be cool if your boss or neighbor walks up and wants to meet your "new friends", etc. Being discreet doesn't mean communicating in vague ways or leaving you guessing.

When it comes to communicating, like when you're having a conversation with potential partners about getting together, that's not a time for "discreet words". That's a time to be really clear, in my opinion. You don't have to guess or assume things. If someone says something that's confusing to you, ask them to elaborate. Next time they say, "Lets have dinner or drinks or something", you could simply ask, "what kind of something?" If they mean going dancing at a club, visiting a strip bar, shooting pool, or getting a room with you, they can tell you what's on their mind...then you'll know. Don't be afraid to ask for clarity when you're talking to people.

[NCcuriouscpl]

Originally Posted by Tybee Swing

Hey Mr. S,

When it comes to communicating, like when you're having a conversation with potential partners about getting together, that's not a time for "discreet words". That's a time to be really clear, in my opinion. You don't have to guess or assume things. If someone says something that's confusing to you, ask them to elaborate. Next time they say, "Lets have dinner or drinks or something", you could simply ask, "what kind of something?" If they mean going dancing at a club, visiting a strip bar, shooting pool, or getting a room with you, they can tell you what's on their mind...then you'll know. Don't be afraid to ask for clarity when you're talking to people.

Well said, and my sentiments exactly!

[28volts]

Originally Posted by Tybee Swing

Hey Mr. S,

Discretion in the lifestyle is great, it means that people will respect your privacy, not kiss-and-tell, not expose you, will behave when they're with you in public, will be cool if your boss or neighbor walks up and wants to meet your "new friends", etc. Being discreet doesn't mean communicating in vague ways or leaving you guessing.

When it comes to communicating, like when you're having a conversation with potential partners about getting together, that's not a time for "discreet words". That's a time to be really clear, in my opinion. You don't have to guess or assume things. If someone says something that's confusing to you, ask them to elaborate. Next time they say, "Lets have dinner or drinks or something", you could simply ask, "what kind of something?" If they mean going dancing at a club, visiting a strip bar, shooting pool, or getting a room with you, they can tell you what's on their mind...then you'll know. Don't be afraid to ask for clarity when you're talking to people.

We are talking about when on yahoo and our kids are walking around..the words might be seen.Yes , I should have asked prior when the moment arose, but I didn't.We will chalk this one up and continue on.Thought my mistake would benefit others who read this.
Maybe if we go to the beach, you can give me more of your wisdom or something...
Mr S

[JustAskJulie]

When we send out messages to people we might want to meet, I try to avoid using the "or something" and just leave it at "dinner or drinks" or one or the other specifically. I don't know if this thread just stuck in my head or what but I do think that when writing the "or something" it could easily be taken by the other side as more than it was perhaps meant to be.