drinks,dinner or something

[SecretAsianMan]

I've always used the term "and something" when it's rather implied that I'm open to more than just what is specific in the message. For example... if we're meeting up for dinner & drinks or something... then dinner & drinks would be "Plan-A" - but if another possibility comes up - like, tickets to a really cool event fall into my lap... halfway through dinner we feel that the chemistry is really good and we're all really horny - we could skip drinks... or we could decide to go back to their home and play poker for the rest of the evening. "Something" to me represents an open selection of possibilities and I wouldn't imply it ONLY specifically meant sex or anything else.

But that's just me and my usage of the term. If I had any questions about what the other people meant by their use of the term - I'd try to get more details before the intial meeting.

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by SecretAsianMan

But that's just me and my usage of the term. If I had any questions about what the other people meant by their use of the term - I'd try to get more details before the intial meeting.

I can agree with that idea. And while I would probably mean the exact same thing if I used the term. It's become apparant that not everyone else takes terms the same way that we may mean them, therefore it becomes important to be careful of the words we use at times, to avoid the potential of someone else taking a meaning from the word that we did not intend.

[2insandiego4u]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

When we send out messages to people we might want to meet, I try to avoid using the "or something" and just leave it at "dinner or drinks" or one or the other specifically. I don't know if this thread just stuck in my head or what but I do think that when writing the "or something" it could easily be taken by the other side as more than it was perhaps meant to be.

When we think that there might be some fun on a date, but it's not certain, we'll say "and we'll see where the night takes us". It's a bit more sexy and mysterious! We would never say "something".

[SecretAsianMan]

Originally Posted by 2insandiego4u

we'll say "and we'll see where the night takes us".

But what if you're doing a daytime meet-up??

[two42lovers]

If someone said "dinner, drinks or something" we would take the "something" to mean "something like dinner or drinks" - i.e. something we might do to meet and get aquainted, such as have dessert?

We always ask new-to-us people whether they are into playing on the first meeting if everyone feels it. We always let them know we have no expectations and it's all about chemistry, but if everyone is feeling it we are happy to play. Gives them a chance to say how they feel about playing on the first meeting. If they still don't say whether they have a policy one way or the other, we ask them specifically.

[lovemonkey#1]

Originally Posted by two42lovers

If someone said "dinner, drinks or something" we would take the "something" to mean "something like dinner or drinks" - i.e. something we might do to meet and get aquainted, such as have dessert?

that's how i usually take it too. we've had some unusual first meetings (book stores, aquariums, museums, etc) so i guess all of those things could qualify as "or somethings". we try very hard to be forthcoming about our intentions before we go out with anyone and we explicitly state on our profile that we don't play on first dates. if we're having a second meeting then we'll usually talk beforehand about what we're looking to do.

on the other hand, if we have a rapport with a couple we might use the term "or something" in an email as a flirtatious way of hinting that we are interested in playing. that "or something" usually has a behind it though to be more suggestive. never underestimate the power of the emoticon .