Certifying couples on Swing Lifestyle

[ShellyM]

Hey, for those of you who use Swing Lifestyle to find play partners.
Do ya'll verify all couples you meet and play with? We went to the camp out in Sep. and met some great friends, and certified them all, and vice versa. However, when it comes with our play partners, whom we also met on Swing Lifestyle, I am hesitant to verify them. I have no idea why really, I just feel that with them it is a very private matter (and perhaps I'm greedy and don't want to share jk), and I have not verified them. On the same token, they haven't verified us, either. I just think its funny how that is, and wonder if anyone else is the same way.

Thanks, its finally cool in TEXAS!

[Dooode]

Interesting topic, Shelly.

On swingers date club, the webmaster (Ronald) wrote the Single Male Validation on my forum topic recommendation. I was one of the first ever to be certified as a "real" single male (this special certification was based on meeting 5 certified couples who've validated you). There were special priviledges involved with this certification, ie. bypassing the single male block because of the confidence attained in not abusing the email system.

I amassed quite a collection of validations ... but then what I was discovering was that many could fake validations. Or validate even tho they've never met. Some refused validations because they wished their privacy (not that I can say I blame them). Others used it as a popularity contest. Some saw "lots of validations" as a sign that these prospects were promiscuous. One or two validations and they look like inexperienced newbies.

To top it off, couples could query other couples based on meetings they've had with those validated. Some were overstepping the line.

I lost faith in the system.

On Swing Lifestyle, I simply stopped using the validation system. Only ONE couple did I allow a validation from, and that's only because I've known them for 5 years. Some have wanted to validate me, but I tell them I don't accept validations anymore (which I think might've hurt their feelings some). Regardless, I now wanted my privacy and if I've met a couple, I didn't think the whole world should know. It's none of anyone's fuggin' business who I see.

So I continue to meet people and I don't think validations have anything to do with how well I do with meeting prospects.

That's my feedback.

[rpu3]

I don't want to be verified. Whom we meet or do anything with is our business. If someone doesn't want to write or meet us simply because of a lack of verification, that's their business, but I'm not advertising our success or lack thereof. Maybe I'm just weird, and maybe we'll change our minds as we progress.

Rebecca

[good times]

While I understand a lot of peoples reasons for both verifying everyone they meet and also those that have no verifications at all for various reasons, most of which have been pretty well covered in the previous threads on this subject, I have to say that if someone contacts us or we are looking for someone on Swing Lifestyle, we normally pass them up if they are not certified.

That being said, no we don't certify everyone we meet, in fact, I hate to admit it but we normally only certify people in return for their certification. I guess it just isn't something that is so improtant to us that we think of it in regards to others. Like I indicated before, once we look at a couples profile and see if they seem compatable, the next thing we do is look at their certifications. If they have none, we would probably move on, if they have certs., we review them and that is pretty much the last time we think about certifications, unless, like I said before, they send us one.

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by good times

While I understand a lot of peoples reasons for both verifying everyone they meet and also those that have no verifications at all for various reasons, most of which have been pretty well covered in the previous threads on this subject, I have to say that if someone contacts us or we are looking for someone on Swing Lifestyle, we normally pass them up if they are not certified.

That being said, no we don't certify everyone we meet, in fact, I hate to admit it but we normally only certify people in return for their certification. I guess it just isn't something that is so improtant to us that we think of it in regards to others. Like I indicated before, once we look at a couples profile and see if they seem compatable, the next thing we do is look at their certifications. If they have none, we would probably move on, if they have certs., we review them and that is pretty much the last time we think about certifications, unless, like I said before, they send us one.

We are exactly the same way. Not sure why, we like to see if they are certified but don't think of sending one out unless we get one first. Really I think we don't want too many certs out there, all we are really looking for is some more proof that a couple is real, and its a lot of work to 'fake' a cert that is going to fool us.

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by good times

I have to say that if someone contacts us or we are looking for someone on Swing Lifestyle, we normally pass them up if they are not certified.

What if they're a great couple, who just happen to be pretty new to being listed on the Swing Lifestyle site? It seems that you could be missing out on a lot of great people by ruling them out simply because they're not certified there.

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by good times

While I understand a lot of peoples reasons for both verifying everyone they meet and also those that have no verifications at all for various reasons, most of which have been pretty well covered in the previous threads on this subject, I have to say that if someone contacts us or we are looking for someone on Swing Lifestyle, we normally pass them up if they are not certified.

That being said, no we don't certify everyone we meet, in fact, I hate to admit it but we normally only certify people in return for their certification. I guess it just isn't something that is so improtant to us that we think of it in regards to others. Like I indicated before, once we look at a couples profile and see if they seem compatable, the next thing we do is look at their certifications. If they have none, we would probably move on, if they have certs., we review them and that is pretty much the last time we think about certifications, unless, like I said before, they send us one.

This is very interesting. Now, when you look at the certs. Are you looking for something in specific, or are you just making sure that yes, they have met other couples and really are alive swingers and for real?

[JP51]

we keep certs down to only a few..and if someone is new you can tell by the questions they ask...too many trolls to full around with non certs on Swing Lifestyle...and swingers date club..

[2jersey]

We don't feel the need to publicize a resume' of each of our sexual exploitations.

Once you have one or two valid certifications, you have probably met the criteria of the dubious shoppers ("yes, we are real"). But, if you have several certifications you may create the (possibly) false impression that resume' building (i.e. "bed-post-notching") is one of your primary objectives.

Generally, we don't provide or accept certifications - mainly because we are already certified by some very credible people.

[lookingfornow]

We wanted to have a couple certifications just so people know that we are for real. After we got a couple, we stopped raising the issue with couples. However, when a couple asks us, we will gladly certify them (provided we know them and have played together).

[sexyshelby]

Originally Posted by good times

While I understand a lot of peoples reasons for both verifying everyone they meet and also those that have no verifications at all for various reasons, most of which have been pretty well covered in the previous threads on this subject, I have to say that if someone contacts us or we are looking for someone on Swing Lifestyle, we normally pass them up if they are not certified.

That being said, no we don't certify everyone we meet, in fact, I hate to admit it but we normally only certify people in return for their certification. I guess it just isn't something that is so improtant to us that we think of it in regards to others. Like I indicated before, once we look at a couples profile and see if they seem compatable, the next thing we do is look at their certifications. If they have none, we would probably move on, if they have certs., we review them and that is pretty much the last time we think about certifications, unless, like I said before, they send us one.

Ok, so here's what I dont get...You say that you wont meet a couple unless they are certified. But then you say that you don't certify people. And then you specifically say that "it just isn't something that is so important to us"...

So I'm confused. If they're important enough that you won't meet a couple unless they are certified, then why don't you certify others?

I'm not picking on you, but I get the impression that others here also feel the same way. It just doesn't make sense to me.

~SS

[FloridaFlirt]

Maybe I'm wrong, but....I thought the purpose of validating was just to ensure that the person(s) is/are real, and not fakes!

[Dooode]

Originally Posted by FloridaFlirt

Maybe I'm wrong, but....I thought the purpose of validating was just to ensure that the person(s) is/are real, and not fakes!

In theory.

But say you were fake. Pic collector, let's say.

Couldn't you create a new paid profile, complete with text and pictures, and validate your other account?

[LFM2]

Originally Posted by Dooode

Couldn't you create a new paid profile, complete with text and pictures, and validate your other account?

Ooooooh... sneaky!

How big of a coyote can you be? I believe some people would do that.

[Dooode]

Originally Posted by LFM2

I believe some people would do that.

With me, it's more than just a belief. I've seen it.

There was one couple on swingers date club who used to post in their forums quite a bit. They had created a second (then a third) paid profile, validated those, and used that second profile to email others on the forums to influence their opinions. With a triangle of profiles validating each other, they simply seems like a small group who knew each other well. The original (real) profile had authentic validations, which laid more weight to the faked ones. This went on for months.

Eventually this couple got caught, but not before they caused considerable damage to others.

Sorry to hijack the thread, Shelly. There are pluses to validations. As FloridaFlirt says, it should be used to weed out fakes and find compatibles. But based on individual perceptions and fakes who do get around the system, I think the negatives to its dependancy outweigh the pluses.