Certifying couples on Swing Lifestyle

[des1re06]

where more friends from each side are invited and expand the network... after all is that not the best way?

I have to agree. Parties have been the best way.

Mrs. D

[JustAskJulie]

We were talking to some friends last night about how it seems like there are so many couples online who never have any intention of meeting. I mentioned that it's getting to a point where even tho we don't accept/give Certs, we are looking at them more and more and using them to guage whether or not someone is actually really likely to meet. So perhaps we have a bit of a double standard on certifications... we use them to gauge people's "realness" as swingers, but yet we don't have them to allow others to do the same.... and perhaps others are guaging us as "not real" for that reason.

They made a comment about how some couples will certify anyone and that they had gotten a cert from a couple that they had just met for dinner (with dinner ending early because one or the other ladies called a headache). They declined it with the feeling that Certs aren't there to show that they are real people but to show that they are real swingers.

My response: "Right and the only way to really prove that is to play with someone, and that's why we don't do certs, because it's no business who we've played with."

They responded that they had also given certs to people they hadn't played with but they knew they were swingers just perhaps a few rungs ahead of them on the swinging ladder at that point.

So my question is for those of you who do use the certs. At what point will you give a cert? Do you just have to meet them? Do they have to in some prove to you that they are real swingers? - ie. if you normally cert people after an initial meeting, would you cert a couple that you met for the first time that you know has never actually played? Or do you wait to cert someone until after you've played with them? And under what conditions would you decline a certification?

[VanHlebar]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

They declined it with the feeling that Certs aren't there to show that they are real people but to show that they are real swingers.

Actually if you look at the description of the certs on Swing Lifestyle this is covered in there. They really are designed for both to certify that someone is a "real" person and that is how we take them unless someone says otherwise in the certification. Yea we figure that they have most likely played with those folks that they received the certification from, but we still think it could be just that they met for dinner or something.

So why not certify someone that you just met for dinner and had a good time with but haven't yet had a chance to hook up with? I guess I don't see any problem with that.

-Van

[Chicup]

Yea I use them only as added proof they are real people, and even then we've run into fake ones.

[two4youinswva]

We only have to meet a couple to give them a cert. Actually we haven't played with quite a few of the couples we've certified. The majority of those we've certified have been people we've met at the clubs.

I guess you can say the people we've certified are real couples, and are at least interested enough in swinging to either meet someone, or go to a swingers' club. While not foolproof, it does cull the herd a little bit more.

[MrkLin]

We agree with VanHlebar an this one, and that's basically what we do. We're not there to certify their swinging status, the condition of their relationship, or anything else. Swing Lifestyle says you're 'certifying them as genuine.' Knowing that, we give a certification to people we've actually met, and believe are genuinely into the swing lifestyle. If we have any doubts, we don't certify.

On the other hand, we use certifications as a way to screen couples. We've met some good friends this way when we've discovered that we have mutual friends. For example, we have two new couples coming to our December house party. We were reading through the certifications of one of our friends and saw their names. Having that mutual friend was a great way to introduce ourselves to them, and we met both couples this weekend. We may have met them without having seen that they had certified our friend, but having that certification to refer to broke the ice.

We don't look at certifications as a scoreboard, or a 'who's nailing who' list. As was mentioned before, certifying someone doesn't mean you've played with them - sometimes you only have to read the certification to learn that. You can also mention the fact that you haven't played when you write up a certification, if it really bothers you that much. We see it as a way to let others know that the couple in question is really interested in swinging, and not just some picture collector or internet troll. We've actually met the couple, and this is our opinion of them.

Certifications are also in the Search criteria - meaning you can eliminate couples who haven't been certified as genuine from a search. How many times have you been eliminated from a search because you don't have any certs?

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by Chicup

Yea I use them only as added proof they are real people, and even then we've run into fake ones.

Fake people or fake certs?

Originally Posted by MrkLin

How many times have you been eliminated from a search because you don't have any certs?

That's an excellent question, and to some degree the point I was making in my original post. While I don't use certifications as a search criteria, I do find that when I'm looking at a profile and I am borderline on whether or not I feel it may be "real" (or from a couple that is really interested in swinging) I look for certs and if there are no certs I may not end up contacting them, deciding that it would probably be a waste of time.

Ok, I had to go and look and here is Swing Lifestyle' description of what certified means:

A certified member is one that another, trusted, member of the site has vouched for, indicating that they personally know this person and that the person is who they say they are. Only Paid members can certify other members.

What is listed as the purpose of the certs and what people think when they read certs - or more importantly what the cert actually says (as I'd say that most that I have read make it if not quite clear that they've played, make it very easy to assume that) are two different things.

[good times]

I pretty much take certs the way Swing Lifestyle defines it, and don't assume someone has played with the people that certified them. I guess the reason for that is that we will certify someone that we have met but haven't played with. Funny thing is, we rarely, if ever, certify someone unless they ask us to. We have met some folks that send a cert to anyone they meet. While we don't mind sending a cert at all, we don't send them automatically.

[dnmnms]

We have actually had someone make a rude remark concerning a cert we had. We had 4 certs and had never "played" with any of them just met them at a meet and greet or a club. Even tho its noones business who we have met or played with we have actually heard ppl say that they would not email a cpl due to a cert that they had listed.
People just assume that if you certify someone or vise versa, you have automatically played around.

Melody

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

Fake people or fake certs?

Fake people.

There is a very odd fellow who was/is on LL who tries very hard to get to see your private pictures. 'They' are a certified couple who signs up for events and never shows up. Writes wonderful emails which seem to be designed to match your profile, but as soon as you open up your private pictures he ignores you 100%.

I talked to several couples and always the same MO.

For us it didn't matter our private pictures just showed our faces, so I don't feel too used as we never opened them up, he seemed a bit to eager

On another site I saw some fishing looking certs where the person doing the certing didn't seem to be a real one. Basically they had a fake account to give their 'real' account a cert.

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by Chicup

Fake people.

There is a very odd fellow who was/is on LL who tries very hard to get to see your private pictures. 'They' are a certified couple who signs up for events and never shows up. Writes wonderful emails which seem to be designed to match your profile, but as soon as you open up your private pictures he ignores you 100%.

I talked to several couples and always the same MO.

For us it didn't matter our private pictures just showed our faces, so I don't feel too used as we never opened them up, he seemed a bit to eager

On another site I saw some fishing looking certs where the person doing the certing didn't seem to be a real one. Basically they had a fake account to give their 'real' account a cert.

So I guess really it's both... fake people AND fake certs.

[ncmd_couple]

Julie,

I look at certs also, not so much as a qualifier, nor do I assume that a cert means that they played with them. But it does give me a reality check. If I don't recognize the username of the person certifying a couple, I look at their profile. I can honestly say that I have never seen a cert from a garbage profile. That doesn't mean it doesn't happen, but I have been lucky so far. Someone not having certs, and they clearly state in their profile that they do not give or receive certs, is not a problem because I understand their point of view.

S

[Tia Vampire]

We will certify anyone that we spend time with and enjoy their company. We don't have to have sex with them at all. For those couples that we do have exotic sex with, great communication, and the chemistry is just right, we with certify with recommidations.

[dodgechevy]

We tend to be extremely skeptical about profiles that are only certified from 1 profile. And that same profile only has 1 cert from the 1st profile.

[twoforone100]

Well richmond is a small town really. So a cert from someone we know matters a lot..

We read the cert and see what it says and what it does not say. We might even ask the person who sent it ( only if we know them).

We do sent them.. We do have to meet. Most times we do have to have played. We try to make it clear on it what we think of the couple. It is something that we feel they earn.. not from sex but from the whole package.

We will not accept on that is not real... that is not true. or one that implies something that did or did not happen.


In our town they are pretty trust worthy with that main circle of people who all seem to know each other and on Swing Lifestyle we often track the certs back..... ie who cert'ed the person who we are looking at.


In the end we think they are a good thing.. but that could cut both ways.