Certifying couples on Swing Lifestyle

[LFM2]

Agreed. We've been on Swing Lifestyle for a couple years now with no certs. We've played with others on Swing Lifestyle, but for discretion reasons, we don't tell and appreciate when others don't tell either. It's actually no one's beeswax who we play with or how great it was. We do have a couple certs on AFF, but it doesn't mention sex. We like those.

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by rpu3

We do not do certifications in either direction because it is nobody's business who we meet or have sex with.

Ditto.

Originally Posted by Tia Vampire

We don't like that the certs are made for all to read, seeing that you do have certs is alright though. We think that the cert should be made for the screen named person to read only. That way you can tell them that you enjoyed them or you enjoyed their company. We do not give certs to people that we did not enjoy. Who would right? Nor do we write nasty certs if we did not like the person. Notes maybe for our own reminder.

If they were set up this way I wouldn't mind either. If someone just saw that I've been certified without it showing by whom or what they had to say.

[lovenestduo]

We don't have any experience with Swing Lifestyle certification due to it being a US-centric site but we do have some with AFF testimonials (mostly bad).

We met a few couples on AFF and had some wonderful evenings. We were also stupid enough to leave a few testimonials along the way. Twice we had couples getting possessive and quite frankly, scary. Another couple decided we were a booty call and would make plans then flake out with less than 10 minutes notice. These were all couples we previously gave glowing testimonials to.

So here we are, with our handle, a link to our profile and even a picture of us, recommending these people. It should be a simple matter of retracting the testimonial, no? Not a chance. AFF does not allow deletions. Even by contacting support and refusing to renew if they don't delete. Their only solution was for us to delete our account and start again under a different handle. But that would only get rid of the link and picture.

Add to all that the testimonial traders and collectors, you know, the people that leave "testimonials" such as "What a sexy couple, if you're ever in (some country 3000 miles away) look us up" just to increase their count.

With all that under our belts we now place no stock in certifications or testimonials and will never give out another one.

[JustAskJulie]

Ok, I looked and this topic hasn't come up in a while, but it's coming up for us now so ....

Our attitude towards certifications up to this point is that we did not give or recieve them. We actually even have that posted in our profile that we have made this decision for reasons of discretion (we don't feel it's anyone's business who we've played with). If Swing Lifestyle was set up so that certs were anonymous, or even if they weren't anonymous but it was JUST "yes these people are real" and nothing more, we'd be more likely to accept them. But, when the comments become "yes we've played with these people" - which most of them do, it bothers us a bit.

Occasionally we see comments from people that they won't even look at an ad that doesn't have certs attached to it (and in some cases those certs must be from people who are also certified, etc), and it does make us wonder a bit are we missing out on some quality couples by not allowing the certs? Or is it really even worth bothering with? I was reading through this old thread: Certifications on Online Ads and it seemed pretty evenly split between those against them and those who didn't care. I wonder if any of those who were previously against them later changed their mind and said WTF, because it was less trouble than explaining why you declined them.

[des1re06]

When we were new, we had no idea that certifications made us look like "sluts", as some people believe. So, we accepted them, as we thought this was a message that we were real, not fakers. Most of our certs are from people we met at a Meet-n-Greet, not that we actually played with.

Do we look at certs? Yes. Does it turn us off? No

Our thought on this is that we'd rather know if a couple is actually a couple before we contact them. That's how we use the certs.


Mrs. D

[VegasLee]

Certs mean nothing to us at all.

We have been doing this for many, many years, we host at a very busy club, we have been to conventions for over 15 years, 1000's of people know us so I guess if we allowed it we could have 1000's of certs. I guess in some people's eyes that would make us very high risk and very slutty even though we have not partied with most of the people that do know us.

We also don't care if people have a cert or not. We only meet people at the club. If we click, we party, if we don't, we don't. Nothing more simple then that. I really don't care what peoples opinions of others are. Just because you like or dislike a person does not mean we are going to feel the same way.

[AdamInEve]

We are fairly new as well and also state in our profile that we will not give out certs or accept them. We have had people try to cert us and we do feel bad when we decline them but we thank them then remind them that this is stated on our profile. We do not accept them for much of the same reasons as Julie. We just think that who we get together with should be just between us. We do think some couples use the cert system as a badge of honor, trying to rack up as many as possible.

It is ironic though that when considering a couple we do check their certs to see who they have been with. It doesn't necessarily influence our decision but I think it is just more us being nosy. We must admit that if a couple isn't certed and doesn't state in their profile that they do not accept them we do have some thoughts as to whether they are real or not. But it still wouldn't stop us from giving them a go.

We too have read the profiles that state they will not contact people unless they have certs. It doesn't bother us. As far as we are concerned, if that's the case they can just move on.

[gatorvol64]

Gator and I have only given and received one certification. We had reasons for that and the basic ones are; we like single men and we've never had a problem with any of them. The good ones may be hard to find but we think most are just tarred and feathered with the bad brush before given a chance. At least for those we've met. We recommended Swing Lifestyle to one of our single playmates. We gave him a certification and stated how respectful he was with us. The only one we have ever done. I've never asked if he knew if it helped or not. We did accept one from him. Basically, for the same reason. Do we have single men contact us? Yes, but I doubt it is because of the certification. We don't have them blocked. Do not get any more contacts now than we did before.

Vol

[fun4Ds]

We know the reasons people want or have certs, because we did at one time.

Now days they aren't so important.

[Chicup]

Certs do help us make up our minds a bit.

They are not required, but they help.

[widowerman]

I stand corrected!

Certification, funny thought.

I misunderstood that wording. I now understand that it means a desirability to screw with them.
As in, “do you come with references?” Just like a black book idea. That reminds me of the Ken and Barbie syndrome mixed with the dependability factor. Hey, this swinging is just like a blind date. You can always say no to people who do not fit you expectations.

And they can say no to you. My partner and I do not engage in that game of references. If they, the potential playmates don’t like us, highly unlikely, they can say thanks, no thanks. And we never turn down anyone, it is just not right to do so. They are people too!

My first experiences with swinging were with my partner and the other couple who just started swinging. They were repeatedly turned down because they were “not the right type”, a.k.a. persons of girth. We still played with them. The wife of the male was very kind hearted. We all had a great time, if I went with the who you had sex with before, I would have missed out a lot.

So no certs for us!

Hope this is more on topic. It’s been a long day!

[jjtrindc]

As a fairly new couple, if we are on the fence about meeting with a couple we do look at the certifications and guage the profiles of the people who gave the certifications. Sometimes it helps us make a decision. Sometimes it's just a gut feeling and instinct.

[2inVT]

We give and accept certs because in our opinion, it simply says, Yes, we met these people, their description of themselves is reasonably accurate, and they are indeed who they say they are.

No more, no less.

Not all our certs, given or received, are from people we've had sex with. And we've had sex with people who have not certed us.

For us, it's just part of the profile. Some people have certs, some don't. We tend to be a bit more skeptical of people who are unknown to us (it's a small swingers community here) who do not have certs - we're less certain they're actually going to show up, for instance. We'd still meet them - we'd just be sure to have a backup plan for what to do that night if they stood us up.

[tittietwister]

Absolutely we give and receive certifications. When you hire someone for a job don't you ask for references? Or if you're looking for a contractor don't you ask your friends about who they have done business with. It's like references - it helps.

Regarding advertising your activities, our experience is that like any other social clique, people talk, certs or not. We don't think it's a big deal and sometimes you can work it to your advantage. For example, a couple noticed we had a cert from another couple they knew and liked. They introduced themselves by saying since we both like couple X it's likely we'll like each other. So in that way the certs facilitate social networking.

[cplnuswing]

We give and receive certs, although we don't have a problem if someone said they preferred not to since it isn't that big of deal for us and we understand the reason why and we aren't interested in keeping score ourselves. Along those lines, we have played with people where no certs were exchanged simply because we met at a club and although both sides knew the other was on Swing Lifestyle, neither cared enough to get the user name just to be able to give a cert.

We do look at them, although just as part of the total package. Mainly to get a feel if they are a real couple, and to a much lesser degree, to help make an early guess on compatibility.