Certifying couples on Swing Lifestyle

[VegasLee]

There was one site we belonged to a few years back. They had it set up so that you got one cert. Just to prove you where real and a couple. Seems to me that is about all those certs are really good for. Anymore than that is just showing you have lots of friends that are willing to write things about you.

I like that De and Ci pointed out, if you are worried about your rep. then this might not be the right thing for you. This is about having sex with others.

[Chicup]

Well now that the swinging police have had their say.

I have to wonder the motivation of having dozens or even more certs.

To me it seems very immature, more like a teenagers my space page than a swingers add.

We only encountered the whole cert 'issue' when we were involved with the LL crowd and there it main purpose seems to be some cool kids network to show who they hang out with.

All I'm looking for is some verification that its not a 40 year old man living in his mothers basement pretending to be a couple, not who is on your IM list.

[good times]

We have 5 certs, only three of which are people we have had sex with. So I would be the last one to assume that just because someone has a lot of certs they have had sex with all of them.

We don't really actively encourage people to certify us, nor do we certify others unless they request us to. It is nice to get one once in a while to keep them current though. The reason for that is we also look to see how current the certs are that someone has. If the newest one is five years old we might be a bit cautious.

[Tybee Swing]

What a good question, daisy girl! I'll bet the answer varies a great deal. To some, 4 might seem like too many. To others, 20+.

In reading other profiles, we've seen where some people accept certifications from people that haven't even met them. "You have nice pictures, thank you for letting me be in your network, I hope to meet you someday." What does this certify?

We happen to have six of them. We've never asked for one, they just happened. In each case, we actually know these people and have hung out with them, but haven't been sexual with some of them. It surprises me that many people would assume we've "done" everyone who writes something nice about us.

I just hid our three oldest certifications, so now only three are showing. I guess with three, we don't appear to be cert-collectors or 'ho's, or total newbies, or some guy living in a basement pretending to be a couple.

Originally Posted by daisy girl

If you are reading a profile ad with certifications, would you ever avoid a couple because of the number of certifications listed? How many certifications are "too many?"

I've seen some and thought, "wow, they have a lot", but never rejected someone over it. I just figure they know a lot of people. I figure they're social, probably involved in organized groups/clubs, rather than just the lone couple meeting one couple at a time on blind dates. Where we live, it's mostly the latter. People who write us from other cities, where there's a social scene for swingers, often tend to have a lot more certs, it seems.

[The Fuse]

When we first started out, we were intimidated by couples with a lot of certifications. I've seen some write here that they think lots of certifications means lots of partners, which is taken to somehow mean the couple is slutty. But when you think about it, the lack of certifications doesn't mean you're not slutty. It just means you aren't shouting from the virtual rooftops.

We know one couple who've had more sexual partners than they could probably count, but only had one cert until recently. They've been living a non-monogamous life for 15 or 20 years, and they're a social and attractive couple. The numbers are simply going to build up. I think it would be hypocritical to judge someone negatively based on that.

About certifications, I have come to think that they're about what image you're trying to project. These are the people who you advertise "I hang out with these people, and by extension, people like them".

For instance, we didn't accept a cert from a couple we knew who were into bondage, because we don't want people to think we're into that.

We have written certs, when asked, for people we'd want others to know that we know. We've been asked because those people, in turn, like our image. Fine. We only have three ourselves. More seems a bit redundant, and I have to admit a feeling that a lot of certs gives the impression a couple are less selective. Not a slut, just less selective about friends. This impression is probably wrong for me to have.

We don't rule people out on certs. If someone is certified by a couple who looks low-class or like they have a bad attitude or basically a lot of negative qualities, then we wonder why a potential friend is advertising a connection with them.

[Liutas]

If you're intersted in a couple, and they have been members for a while (on Swing Lifestyle particularly) and have no certifications, do you read any meaning into that?

We tend to think they are not real people, just on there to play games. I understand some folks may not want to "kiss and tell" but to me it kind of throws up a flag that this person (or couple) my not be accurately representing themselves.

[rpu3]

The topic of certifications and why people use 'em or don't use 'em and why/why not you should read anything into them has been covered a few times before (here, here, and here).

We do not do certifications in either direction because it is nobody's business who we meet or have sex with.

I've been on Swing Lifestyle for probably 2 years, with no certs, for the aforementioned reasons. We would like to maintain our privacy in an activity that is not accepted in mainstream society. We are reasonably discrete about our activities, and we do not do this for notching, bragging rights or advertising, and certifications fall perilously close to that for us.

If we are passed on or thought less of because of the lack of certs, oh well and their loss for those who choose to pass.

[prettylady]

Originally Posted by rpu3

The topic of certifications and why people use 'em or don't use 'em and why/why not you should read anything into them has been covered a few times before (here, here, and here).

We do not do certifications in either direction because it is nobody's business who we meet or have sex with.

I've been on Swing Lifestyle for probably 2 years, with no certs, for the aforementioned reasons. We would like to maintain our privacy in an activity that is not accepted in mainstream society. We are reasonably discrete about our activities, and we do not do this for notching, bragging rights or advertising, and certifications fall perilously close to that for us.

If we are passed on or thought less of because of the lack of certs, oh well and their loss for those who choose to pass.

Ditto, start to finish, ditto

Your friend,
Prettylady

[good times]

Originally Posted by Liutas

If you're intersted in a couple, and they have been members for a while (on Swing Lifestyle particularly) and have no certifications, do you read any meaning into that?

Well, their are a few people that just don't like certs for various reasons, but in general, if we are contacted by someone who has been a member for some time and they have no certs, we are very wary of them. Does that mean we would not meat with someone with no certs? No, but I will have to admit that so far, in five years or so on Swing Lifestyle, the large majority of people with no certs that have contacted us turned out to be flakes or time wasters.

[ownerspet]

I have to admit... that we havent' done certifications either way... but we are definitly real people and we are listed on Swing Lifestyle as jarpar.

but we just don't feel comfortable with the certifications...

[sexcupid]

Certs are nice...but we don't put much stock in them either. I mean, some peole may get bent if you don't leave them one (which I think may have been the case with one couple we played with...it wasn't that great of an experience, but we really did like them in a friendly manner...but I don't know for sure)....we only have 1 and we've been members about a year. But we've played with a few folks and had a good time.

To each their own on this one.

Maria

[Tia Vampire]

We don't like that the certs are made for all to read, seeing that you do have certs is alright though. We think that the cert should be made for the screen named person to read only. That way you can tell them that you enjoyed them or you enjoyed their company. We do not give certs to people that we did not enjoy. Who would right? Nor do we write nasty certs if we did not like the person. Notes maybe for our own reminder.

[ShellyM]

Yeah, we recently went into this in another thread; we have certs. However, I think only 2 of them are from actual playmates, the vast majority are from friends that we partied and had a good time with. We do not look at certs in relation to how good a couple may or may not be in bed; however, we do look at them to get a "feel" of a couple. For instance, almost all of our certs say things like we are "fun, crazy," stuff like that; so you know that we are pretty fun. However, some of our friends are free members on Swing Lifestyle and so we certified them but they cannot certify us back; that of course is cool. We accept them and give them, its all a personal preference in what you like.

[Spoomonkey]

We have certifications on our ad - but when we started out, we were a lot like the posters above. We didn't do them for the reasons that they stated. I guess the reason we started using them was because of the first one we ever got - it was from the SwingersBoard. We had gone to a MeetUp and one of the mods at the time sent us a certification.

Our thought process went like this:

1. We obviously didn't have sex with the SwingersBoard. Wanted to... But didn't. So the certification didn't mean that we had sex with the person, persons or (in this case) virtual entity giving us the certification.

2. Swing Lifestyle has never really worked for us as far as meeting people, so however people chose to interpret our certifications, it probably wouldn't matter much. We have much better experiences with other routes of meeting and making friends.

I guess the low priority that we put on Swing Lifestyle led us to basically say "meh - whatever" and go with certifications if people wanted to give them. And if they give them - we give them back... Unless, of course, we reject them, which has happened as well.

I wouldn't look at a lack of certifications as a bad thing. Based on the general opinion around here, which is pretty balanced, I think for and against, I would just assume that certifications - if you look for them - are a bonus. Some great folks just have very legitimate reasons for not having them.

And, in our case, you'd see the certifications - consider us a good bet - only to find out that we really don't use Swing Lifestyle much (except as yet another email tool). We are highly unlikely to meet anyone who contacts us on Swing Lifestyle, which would cause people to consider us fakes, I suppose - certs or not...

Personally, I like certifications because I can play a stylized version of "Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon". The way I figure it, I am always about six clicks away from seeing a famous person getting naked, just by clicking the right certifications

"Come on, Kate Beckensale!"

Spoomonkey

[havefuninsun]

Originally Posted by rpu3

The topic of certifications and why people use 'em or don't use 'em and why/why not you should read anything into them has been covered a few times before (here, here, and here).

We do not do certifications in either direction because it is nobody's business who we meet or have sex with.

I've been on Swing Lifestyle for probably 2 years, with no certs, for the aforementioned reasons. We would like to maintain our privacy in an activity that is not accepted in mainstream society. We are reasonably discrete about our activities, and we do not do this for notching, bragging rights or advertising, and certifications fall perilously close to that for us.

If we are passed on or thought less of because of the lack of certs, oh well and their loss for those who choose to pass.

What she said ...