Certifying couples on Swing Lifestyle

[Dooode]

Originally Posted by good times

I agree with you here Tybee, in order to not have a book length post ...

Too late.

[troublextwo]

I / we have not had great success on Swing Lifestyle. Like it but definately don't love it. Best site hands down in the midwest is C4P.com Yes profiles can be validated but validation does not mean sex; it mearly means the couple has shown up as a "live" couple to an event. Don't get me wrong it also can mean the other you'll just have to guess. You are allowed to turn off your validations if you wish, most of us keep them on. Our hit percentage on scheduled appointments on C4P is 90+ %. We call arrange to meet at club etc....they are always there. We also have numerous clubs here in the midwest to meet. Some are small and intimate and others are large and meet and greet style.

I believe Swing Lifestyle would be better if you could also turn off or on validations

[Rvrtas]

We have consciously chosen to decline offers of certification. We're not bedpost notchers and wanted to avoid creating the impression we are just that. We've also chosen not to certify others, mostly because our good experience might not meet another's definition. We look at the exercise as like dating; you meet and make decisions on your own.

We might change our views on this in future, but feel comfortable with our choice for now.

[Rvrtas]

Just had another thought. We've definitely done the network thing. "You'd like this other couple we know ..." Seems somewhat like an endorsement or certification. We've used that reference to proceed with another couple. May make our reluctance to use Swing Lifestyle certifications ill-founded; I don't know. But ... there it is!

[daisy girl]

I think this has been covered before but I am not sure. If you are reading a profile ad with certifications, would you ever avoid a couple because of the number of certifications listed? How many certifications are "too many?"

[VegasLee]

You would not swing with someone because they know a lot of people?

[daisy girl]

No, I am just curious. We aren't accepting any new certifications because we are concerned that people may have preconceived notions about us. We have three right now. I was just wondering if our fears are warranted.

[VegasLee]

Ok, I will admit we do not do much with those sites anymore at all.

I know that in the past we knew people that had many certifications because they knew 100's of people. We also know one couple that made up a bunch of fake names so they could certify their self and brag about their self.

I guess some could assume that you have done everyone that has certified you.

If someone did not contact me because a bunch of my friends certified me then I am pretty sure I would not want to meet that person anyway.

Just my simple thoughts anyway.

[good times]

The number of certs someone has makes no difference to us either.

[Chicup]

The magic number is 3 from apparently 'real' couples I think.

(By apparently real is they have a full 'real' looking profile on the site)

Its not about logic, its about first impressions, especially with newbie couples.

Another issue is people DO judge you by your certs. If someone sees a bunch of couples as certs who they would not be interested in playing, they may get a negative impression of you too. Sure you may have never played with those couples, maybe only met them at a meet and greet, but thats often not clear in the cert.

Sure maybe you met the couple that is into watersports at a meet and greet and they sent you a cert, but it might just not be best to list it.

Some would argue that people who judge you by your certs are not worth knowing, but honestly I don't' think thats true, people are often intimidated by swinging early on, and why give them something else to worry about?

A better question is WHY would you need a bunch of certs? A cert to me at best is to show you are at least a real couple. Its a swingers add, not a myspace page, and just because someone knows you doesn't mean you need to tell the world about it blog style.

So while some people don't worry about the number of your certs, those people will as a whole NOT be turned off if you have a more limited number, on the other hand some people would be freaked out if everyone in a tristate area gave you a certification.

So don't over do it, I can't say I was ever impressed or cared that some people on LL had 4 pages of certifications. To me it seemed more like showing off.

[fun4Ds]

personally we dont do certs anymore, we have had to many people contact us with
"so you know so and so,what do ya think of them"
we feel its about you and us, not us and them.if we are contacted by someone.

but like iv said when you are new you feel like you need a cert.

[havefuninsun]

We don't like certs -- I understands all the good reasons why people have them, and why some people will not talk to a couple who DOESN'T have them, but to me, they usually scream "kiss and tell."

Also, sometimes when you click on a cert to read it, then click on that profile and click on their certs and that couple has 10 or so ... it makes me suspicious as to how careful people are. Being judgmental? OK -- maybe we are. But as we all know, with our activities come risks, and if we perceive there is a risk right from the beginning, we probably will not try to get to know that particular couple.

WITH THAT SAID, I do know that just because someone doesn't HAVE 10 certs doesn't mean they haven't had a lot of play experience. So, once we contact a couple (or they contact us), we get to know them, find out about some of their experiences (and they do us as well), and then we access our risks.

Three isn't enough for us to go "yikes!" But, if we click on one of your three and that couple has a lot, then the yikes factor kicks in.

I wish there were no certs, personally. I just don't like them at all ... but like I said, I know some couples use them to weed out fakes, so I guess they have merit. Although -- those who use them to weed out fakes, or only contact couples WITH certs are also making assumptions as we are with too many certs ...

[LikeMinds321]

Here's another thread on the topic of certification. Within it there is also a link to another thread on the Board about certification:

Swing Lifestyle Certification - Etiquette Question

It will give you lots of views on the topic.

LM

[good times]

While I have to say that I respect peoples opinions who don't believe in certs, we have found that the majority of the people who we have had unsatisfactory interactions with on Swing Lifestyle have been people with no certs. So, for us anyway, while we don't automatically discount people with no certs, we are definitely wary of them.

[De and Ci]

When we look for couples online and see they have too many certifications, we immediately disregard them. We are looking for decent couples we can be proud of, not slutty couples who sleep around. However, if a profile states that even though they have a lot of certifications, they haven’t slept with every couple that certified them, that makes us feel soooo much better about them-like when they have 20 certifications and maybe only actually slept with 13 of them. That is VERY important to us--NOT!!

The whole point of certification is to help you weed out fakes, flakes, and phonies. It simply means that another couple or couples have met them and they are for real. The whole point of swinging is hooking up with other couples for sex. If your worried about
your “reputation” or that couples will think you are too “easy” or something, then maybe this lifestyle is not for you.