Truth in Advertising

[JustAskJulie]

The below quote is from Ang in Joe_Ang's Spotlight Interview and I thought it made a compelling comment worthy of its own thread.

Originally Posted by Joe_Ang

As for body image, that is hard to say. When I was large I had huge breasts that I knew were attractive. Plus my nipples where pierced before it was all that common. I was very comfortable with my weight and I felt very sexy. Now, I know I am sexy with clothes on but I am insecure about my body with clothes off, where I really wasn't before....

When we first started swinging we loved to go to SSC becuase I felt very sexy and desirable there even though I knew we wouldn't hook up with the "cool crowd". Basically, I felt that I presented the same picture in clothes as out so anyone who approached and wanted me knew what they were getting into. Does that make sence? Basically, I think it is more about true advertising then what actual sizr you are. Like if a woman with A breasts wears a padded wonder bra and appears toi be a C cup. When she takes the bra off you get somthing different than she presented and that is wrong. If you are an A be proud and show that. I understand the desire to make yourself look more attractive.

This is something I have always felt about myself as well. Right now I weight about 170lbs but with clothes on you wouldn't know it. Even when I was 30lbs lighter it was the same thing and that always bothered me (as it does Ang) that once I got out of my clothes people would be dissapointed with what they were getting.

So two questions:

1. Do others have this same insecurity?

2. Are we silly for having it? Have you ever been in a situation where you were attacted to someone then once the clothes came off you were dissapointed that their body wasn't as great as you thought it was when they had clothes on?

[LikeMinds321]

I'm uncomfortable with the title of this thread because it suggests that IF we don't let potential playmates know up front about our self-consciousness regarding our physical imperfections, we are advertising falsely. I'm talking about those basic flaws women worry about: lack of muscle tone, spider veins, cottage cheese thighs, a bulge here or there we don't like, etc.

Based on Julie's questions, I don't think this thread is about false advertising, rather, it is about how we perceive ourselves. Also, our worry that how good we look in clothes can cause people to assume too much about our looks when nude.

Yes, I worry that people will be disappointed with my body because they are imagining me to be near perfect under my clothes. Should I tell others about my physical characteristics that bother me? I don't think so. Should I expose them? I don't think so. I love my long legs but I don't have the best thighs and you won't find me in a super mini skirt because of it. I don't think I am "falsely advertising" myself, I think I am using good fashion sense.

I have read repeatedly on this board that a woman's attitude about herself is so much more important to her sexiness than some physical imperfections. I've got to hope that my concerns about my body are not going to be a big deal to others. If when first viewed nude I am not what they were expecting, I hope my playmate will quickly look past my physical imperfections.

I think Julie, Ang and I all have similar concerns about ourselves, and I'm sure many other women do as well.

LM

[Elusive BiFem]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

1. Do others have this same insecurity?

Having thought about this seriously in the past, my answer would have to be no. Are there things I wish I could change? Sure. If I was rich, I'd have some nips and tucks here and there. But since I'm not rich and the chance of that happening is rather remote, I'd have to say I'm rather comfortable with what I have. At my age, there are some droops and sags here and there, but we all have them and it's just part of life. All in all, I'm far happier and self confident now than when I had a much better body in my 20's and 30's. Maybe it's attitude. I don't know.

2. Are we silly for having it? Have you ever been in a situation where you were attacted to someone then once the clothes came off you were dissapointed that their body wasn't as great as you thought it was when they had clothes on.

Yes, sometimes I think we are silly for having those types of insecurities and as I eluded to above, I had more insecurites earlier in life when I was far more "perfect" than I am now. We are the way we are and if it bothers us enough, there are many things we can do to change the situation even without surgery, etc. I exercise, I watch my weight and diet, I put cream on my face at night, but that's really about all I can do. And no, I haven't ever been disappointed when the clothes came off. I know rather well what I am attracted to prior to seeing someone without clothes on and generally, they've never been too far off course. And again, people in my age range are not perfect. Never will be. They are just like me.

- EBF

[Mrs Spoomonkey]

A lot to take in here. I agree with 'LikeMinds' I don't think it is so much about 'truth in advertising' as it is about how we feel about ourselves as women.

The scenario of the A cup women wearing a wonder bra can translate to the older woman with nice large breast but unfortunately know matter how much you take care of your body gravity starts to win the battle. So you wear an unwire with a little push up padding, then when you get naked in a room and the bra comes off . . . . they drop on you. So was that false advertising? Or was she just trying to look her best?

This past Friday presented another example for me as well. I had my heart set on wearing a particular little summer dress to the club. It laid well on my body except for just a touch in the normal places women have problems, so I decided to wear regular hose with it to give a little support, hold and smoother appearance. I actually ended up taking them off midway through the evening since all the girls who were playing pool we getting butt rubs and showing off their thongs, but was I being false in my 'advertising' of myself. I don't think so.

Now if I advertising on the internet that I'm 5'7", weigh 115 and have a C cup and then they meet me and I'm really 5'7", 180 and an A cup then yeah that is not being true.

I guess my point is I think it is great if a woman dresses according to her size in appropriate clothes that flatter and accentuate her good parts. Let's face it age, time, gavity, and even surgery scars are a part of life for both men and women. If someone wants pristind skin smooth and flawless . . . well I think they still sell Ken and Barbie in the toy stores because that is the only place they exist. Even the movie stars if you see the picture the papparazzi gets when the catch them out with the kids grocery shopping lets you know that underneath it all and with out the make up and 'indirect' lighting they look just like the rest of us folks.

So add me to the list with the rest of you - we all have something that we worry about when the clothes come off.

Mrs Spoomonkey

[JustAskJulie]

I think my topic title might have thrown things off a bit. I took it from Ang's original statement:

I think it is more about true advertising then what actual sizr you are. Like if a woman with A breasts wears a padded wonder bra and appears toi be a C cup. When she takes the bra off you get somthing different than she presented and that is wrong. If you are an A be proud and show that. I understand the desire to make yourself look more attractive.

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by Mrs Spoomonkey

This past Friday presented another example for me as well. I had my heart set on wearing a particular little summer dress to the club. It laid well on my body except for just a touch in the normal places women have problems, so I decided to wear regular hose with it to give a little support, hold and smoother appearance.

I'd just like to interject - for the sake of "truthful advertising" - that Mrs Spoomonkey looks good in, out or on top of a pile of clothing...

Spoomonkey

[HotCoupleGnS]

I think everyone has problem areas that they are uncomfortable with. Men & women. I am 22 years old, most women my age still have nice little hard bodies. I have had 2 kids. Although I look good for having 2 kids, I sure did loose a lot of muscle & gained a lot of stretch marks. Now I know how to dress & look good. I know what to wear to make certain areas look a little slimmer. We get a lot of people that write us, especially couples with older men, that make comments about getting with a younger girl. That makes me a little uncomfortable b/c sometimes I feel as though they are gonna expect something a little different than what I am. In the nude I don't look like this 22 year old with a little tight body. Things sag & hang differently than you would think. But I really don't care. I don't feel as if I am falsely advertising myself by dressing the way I do. As LikeMinds said, it is about good fashion sense.

[good times]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

1. Do others have this same insecurity?

Sure, I've occasionally had the worry that I take off my clothes and my potential partner runs screaming from the room in stark terror.

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

2. Are we silly for having it? Have you ever been in a situation where you were attacted to someone then once the clothes came off you were dissapointed that their body wasn't as great as you thought it was when they had clothes on?

Actually I think the main reason I worry sometimes about this is that I have had a first hand experiance with it. We met a couple at the club, and while the female didn't look skinny by any means, she didn't look grossly overweight. We got to the room and she had me help untie her corset. When I pulled the string on that corset and it let go it's a good thing no one was in the way because it came off with a bang that could have caused substantial injury. How she got it that tight I have no idea. Now I'm standing there looking at a whole lot more women than I had bargained for. The only lasting effect is that women in corsets pretty much scare me now.

[WesternSwing]

I can truely say that I've never been disappointed when I finally saw a woman naked. I'm just glad I get to. :-)

Mr. WS

[ALilOEverything]

I look pretty good after 3 kids but I definitely feel flawed. After breastfeeding all three of them (and only just weaned the last) my breasts could really stand a lift, I have stretch marks, a huge scar on my abdomen and I wear braces! But as a WHOLE I look pretty darn good, I only weigh 122 and I can get away with wearing most clothes. The only time my flaws bother me is when I'm with someone I hardly know. When I'm intimate with someone who is having sex with me because they want to enjoy ME, not just my body, then I could care less about the flaws (they probably don't care about them as much as me anyway). My clothes definitely conceal my kind of imperfections as they would anyone else. Except my braces! So far they haven't bothered anyone and I forget about them most of the time. I can't conceal them and so far it's probably the biggest thing I worry about. Here's a pic of me last year with braces http://www.growthspurts.com/image.as...5473544586.jpg No, I'm not a teenager, I'll be 30 this year If they can look past my braces then they can look past anything under my clothes! I would never wear a padded bra because I would only want to attract people who is attracted to my body type. But most importantly I would prefer they be attracted to ME as a person. Anyhow, if someone thought I should have been more perfect when my clothes came off and had a problem with it then I feel bad they have those kinds of issues.

[Chemistry_0518]

I can certainly see where Ang feels uncomfortable.

In our experience, we have gotten to know the other player(s) well enough BEFORE the clothing came off that some minor "imperfections" were inconsequential. A blind date situation might be a totally different matter, but since we don't do that, it won't be of a concern for us. Dressing to make yourself FEEL sexy is not false advertising at all. Quite the contrary, improving your self esteem will radiate an air of confidence that lets others see the real you . . . the IMPORTANT you.

[Olympia221]

Congrats on the braces AlilOEverything! I'm now done with mine and it was the best thing I ever did, it's nice to at least be able to fix one thing that causes insecurity

I have 2 kids and all the trappings of a mother's body, but while I have my insecurities, I love my overall shape. But the best help (outside of myself) has always been from hubby, who loves my body more than anything. His reactions to my body are priceless and always make me feel sexy!

[WesternSwing]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

I think my topic title might have thrown things off a bit. I took it from Ang's original statement:

I see ads where a woman lists herself at 160 - 170 lbs, and you see her R-rated pics and you know she is not an ounce under 200 lbs, BUT I understand why women under rate their weight, and as long as the whole package is okay, I really don't care what their actual weight is. I am not hung-up on the number. I don't care what their weight or height is as long as they turn me on.

Mr. WS

[Chemistry_0518]

BRAVO, Mr. WS. Well said!

[Mrs Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by Olympia221

But the best help (outside of myself) has always been from hubby, who loves my body more than anything. His reactions to my body are priceless and always make me feel sexy!

Dito Mr Spoomonkey ALWAYS makes me feel sexy and like the most gorgeous woman in the world!! facelick

Yeah! for hubbies like ours!


Mrs Spoomonkey