Bi-females that don't go down on other females

[TxCpl1972]

My wife and I are currently talk to a single Bi-Female that informed us last night that she does not go down oral on a man. She thinks it is gross, but she will go down on a female. She told us that she does not like to have cum in her mouth. My wife does not like cum either, but she still goes down on me. Are there any other bifemales that feel the same way as our friend? Need help with this, it is not a requirement for me to get it, but it would be nice to get that as well. Is there anything I could say or do to help her change her mind?

[JustAskJulie]

I don't think it has anything to do with being bi. Some women just won't, just like some men won't. The typical answer here is if she won't then you don't have to either. Not everyoen is into the same things, some people find oral sex just as "gross" as others may find anal sex.

Be respective of her wishes. There are plenty of other things she can do to please you that don't involve her giving you oral sex. If this is something you can't deal with I would suggest you not hook up with her and continue your search.

Julie

Personally, I only allow my hubby to cum in my mouth. I don't feel comfortable enough to allow any other male to cum in my mouth....Yet. But, I will do oral on a guy. *VBG*

As for "going down on another woman", I enjoy that too! From experience, if she don't go down on me, I won't go down on her. It's just THAT simple. *VBG* Besides, the chemistry has to be there too. ;-)

We agree with what Julie said too. If you're not comfortable with your situation, and she's NOT who you're BOTH looking for (sexually), then move along in your search. Hopefully, you've still gained a friend in her. *VBS*


Good Luck! ;-)
Wife of CyberMWCouple

[modi]

Been thinking about this for some time.

Here's the deal...one of the rules, first and foremost in the Lifestyle is No Pressure! No means NO.

If I were to tell someone that I was not comfortable with something and then that person attempted to "change my mind", my husband and I would first tell them off and then have nothing further to do with them.

If the lady is not offering what you are looking for, the wisest thing to do would be to look elsewhere.

Good luck to you!

[LIZA]

Well at least she told you up front and did not wait until you are in a sexual situation and then disappoint you!

It sounds like she is probably mostly interested in your wife and maybe just letting you be there to be polite.......I mean after all, almost everyone engages in oral sex it's pretty standard and I would think swingers are extra-uninhibited about it!

Originally posted by LIZA: [/B]
It sounds like she is probably mostly interested in your wife and maybe just letting you be there to be polite.......I mean after all, almost everyone engages in oral sex it's pretty standard and I would think swingers are extra-uninhibited about it![/B]

I disagree...That's not what it sounded like to me. She was truthful about the oral thing, I think she would also be truthful about "letting him be there to be polite", or not too. Again, it's HER choice, and they have to respect that, as she should also respect theirs.

And you said "almost", which is not everyone/all...It's not "standard" for some, swingers OR non-swingers to "engage in oral sex". Some enjoy it, and some don't. Search till you both find who you're looking for in a swinging partner(s). You don't have to settle for "less" in your experiences, falling short of your fantasies & desires...


Wife of CyberMWCouple

[This message has been edited by CyberMWCouple (edited 10-25-2000).]

[LIZA]

I dont agree. Anyone, male or female, who told me before meeting that they would not be into giving oral sex, I would write them off as NOT into me. I think Oral is pretty much everyones favorite thing. To tell someone you have not even met that it is out of the question seems pretty cold

[JustAskJulie]

I think you are assuming too much to think that just because someone doesn't do oral that they are not into you. Believe it or not some people are not into giving oral. YES, I would agree that most people who have recieved oral enjoy it, but not everyone enjoys giving it.

Did you enjoy giving head your first time?

Think of this.. and this may be more of a stereotype than not.. most black people are not into oral sex. And I've been told this by many black people (although luckily every black guy I've been with hasn't had a problem with it).

For some people it does take time for giving oral to become something they even want to try. I thought it was gross when I first tried it. When I first did it, it wasn't by choice.. once I got away from that guy it took me over a year and a really great guy who never even asked for it before I was willing to try it on my own.

Giving or recieving.. I'd still rather have SEX than oral sex.

Another story.. I had a great boyfriend for about 5 years, we loved each other and got along great (most of the time..lol), he had tried oral on another girl and hadn't liked it (maybe she had a funky smell going.. who knows) .. anyway, he wouldn't try it on me.. no matter how many blowjobs he got from me. Yes I asked, I begged, I pleaded... I finally gave up.

Then one night we had gotten a room together. We took a shower, then he grabbed me (still wet) tied me to the bed and pulled out a razor. He shaved my pussy bald, cleaned it up then proceeded (on his own accord) to go down on me. He discovered it wasn't as bad as he had previously assumed. However, I can understand the hair thing.. and now in consideration to others (as well as because I like it better) I keep myself trimmed fairly close. And to be honest, I prefer it when guys do as well. I don't like giving head to a guy or woman and getting a mouth full of hair.

Now back to the case at hand... perhaps she too had a bad experience and she is (wrongly) basing her future decisions on that experience. Granted that isn't the smart thing to do but that is her choice and it is up to no one to try to change that. And there is one thing I've learned from this lifestyle. Everyone has their own preferences and trying to push someone to try yours is the fastest way to make sure that they won't.

Julie http://www.swingersboard.com

Originally posted by LIZA:
I dont agree. Anyone, male or female, who told me before meeting that they would not be into giving oral sex, I would write them off as NOT into me. I think Oral is pretty much everyones favorite thing. To tell someone you have not even met that it is out of the question seems pretty cold

You don't agree with someone being honest & truthful with you?! That worries me...*lol* I don't find it "cold". Some of us, just have to learn to respect others' preferences & desires in the lifestyle. If one can't do this, then they're in it for the wrong reasons, diffinately not for friendships, THAT'S for sure! *VBS*

And how can you speak for others, "Oral is pretty much everyones favorite thing"?! Obviously, this woman doesn't agree with you, she's not into oral! *VBG*

I agree with Julie, at first, I too was forced to give oral on males. For the longest time, I refused to give oral on my 1st husband, but in time, I finally did. And now, with hubby, I enjoy giving him oral, as much as receiving, which makes me want sexual intercourse with him even MORE! *VBS*


Wife of CyberMWCouple

[LIZA]

I just mean anyone who told me upfront they would not perform oral on me, I would not be into meeting. It's insulting to me, like they think I (or the original poster) is dirty or smelly or something!

LIZA...Oic...

Some just don't care to give oral, and that's okay. It's their personal preference, and that's okay too. I wouldn't take it personal though, but I'd respect their desires. Some may see it as a personal hygiene thing, and then again, some may not. It doesn't mean you have to swing with them, visa-versa. Just gotta keep searching. :-)


Wife of CyberMWCouple

[poisonivy_44057]

I just wanted to say that i am a bi female, and i perfer to go down on a woman over a man, but i do go down. And as far as the man cumming in my mouth, i leave that privilage only to my hubby.
There has been an incident where personal hygene came in play, and for me, whether you are male for female, if you stink i aint getting near it!!!!
I also agree that if someone isnt willing to pleasure me orally, then i dont intend to pleasure them that way either, i think sexualy pleasure is give and take

Personally, I love & enjoy going down on my hubby (which only HE has "priviledges" of cummin' in my mouth), and I enjoy going down on a woman. BUT, my personally rule is, if they don't go down, "I" don't go down either. Sounds rude, but hey...Gotta draw the line SOMEwhere! *VBG*

I felt very strong of this "rule" of mine, after my 2nd bi-experience...I went down on her, and she ENJOYED it a LOT! Then hubby went down on me, and asked her to share the "pleasuring" with him on me, and she refused. She would "taste" me from hubby's fingers and lips, but she couldn't bring herself to go "there". After all that, she wanted me to go down on her AGAIN! I did, being we were their 1st experience in the lifestyle, but that one was "on the house", and I won't go down on her again, unless things changed with her. And we don't expect ANYone to "change", but you get what you give too. *VBS*


Wife of CyberMWCouple

[JustAskJulie]

Question?
Do you require a woman to go down on you before you will go down on her? Just curious since you mentioned that if she won't you won't.

There are times when I've felt the same way cuz I have been in way too many situations where I've gone down and not gotten any reciprocation (usually only with women but occasionally with guys). However, there are also times when they have tried and I have stopped them. When it comes to oral I actually like to give it better than recieve it (on both men and women). So even if they wouldn't reciprocate I would still go down. However, it has to be my choice.. not someone asking or presurring me to do so.. that is a big turn off to me.

Julie

Originally posted by JustAskJulie:
Question?
Do you require a woman to go down on you before you will go down on her? Just curious since you mentioned that if she won't you won't.

In the situation that I've mentioned, we chatted with this couple for awhile, before meeting. She said, she was bi-curious, and wanted to experience this for her 1st time. I shared my 1st experience with them, and they both enjoyed hearing it, and wanted to share the same erotic bi-experiences.

When we finally met, we had a few drinks, something to eat, etc...One thing lead to another, and the playing began. Thus, I said this:

"I went down on her, and she ENJOYED it a LOT! Then hubby went down on me, and asked her to share the "pleasuring" with him on me, and she refused. She would "taste" me from hubby's fingers and lips, but she couldn't bring herself to go "there". After all that, she wanted me to go down on her AGAIN! I did, being we were their 1st experience in the lifestyle, but that one was "on the house", and I won't go down on her again, unless things changed with her...."

Come to find out, AFTER we "played" (which they never said this from the start, after chatting about wanting to experience her bi-ness), BOTH their definition of being "bi-CURIOUS", was that she receives oral from the other female, but DON'T go down on another female. She loved her 1st bi-experience, and would do it again, but their "definition" still stands, which that's okay too. But, NOW we know. *VBG*

The answer to your question, Julie...Is No, I don't "expect" it from anyone. But what we DO expect of others, is honesty & trustworthiness. We've been with other couples before, that I didn't have any bi-experiences with, and knowing that the other female was also bi/bi-curious. If it happens, it happens, if it doesn't, that's okay too. We were both (females) okay about it, and no pressures whatsoever was felt between all of us. *VBS*

Hope I answered your question okay! *lol*


Wife of CyberMWCouple

[This message has been edited by CyberMWCouple (edited 11-05-2000).]