wife won't do bi thing

sexRus50 · 11-01-2005, 02:55 PM

My wife loves the swinging scene. I am bi-curious and she loves to participate with me with other guys in hot threesomes. But, she is always on guard that a woman will touch her. She does attract both men and women. How do I get her to at least give it a try. It would turn me on so much to watch her with another woman as much as she gets turned on watching me with another man and participating.

CB_n_Red · 11-01-2005, 03:06 PM

Perhaps she knows that she isn't bi! Not all women are bi. In fact in our experience, quite a number of women who describe themselves in online adverts as bi-curious, aren't really at all.

Red isn't bi. She thought about it, realised that she just isn't attracted to other women sexually, and that is that.

Let's put it another way - I know I am straight. I wouldn't want to "give it a try" with another bloke even if Red wanted me to (which she doesn't). Likewise I wouldn't pressure her into doing something she isn't comfortable with.

We all have our boundaries and trying to persuade a partner to go beyond their boundaries is likely to lead to problems.

CB

curiousduo30 · 11-01-2005, 05:09 PM

Dito to everything CB_n_Red have said....

She has to want to try the bi thing, or else it will probably lead to her being uncomfortable and possibly angry with you for suggesting it...

This is HER body we are talking about here, she has to want it, or it won't be fun for either of you...

txduo2000 · 11-01-2005, 07:09 PM

Ditto to what the others said.

I am a married, completely heterosexual female and I enjoy MFM threesomes, and WOULD enjoy FMF threesomes IF we could find a woman who wasn't bi. It's hard enough, I have noticed, for those who want bi women, to find single bi females.

As I said, I am NOT bi. I have tried. LOL I know it is something that my husband would find really erotic and would truly enjoy. I have had a couple of encounters, but they really didn't float my boat and it's just not my thing. I am simply not interested in being with other women. Period. And NO ONE is going to change my mind about that, though we have met a couple of girls who have sworn that I am "closet bi" and just need to be "converted"

!!! WTFE! NOT .... I wouldn't DREAM of asking my husband to do something he wasn't comfortable with, and I appreciate the same respect.

Mrs Spoomonkey · 11-01-2005, 08:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CB_n_Red

Let's put it another way - I know I am straight. I wouldn't want to "give it a try" with another bloke even if Red wanted me to (which she doesn't). Likewise I wouldn't pressure her into doing something she isn't comfortable with.CB

Dito I was thinking the same thing and see CB beat me to it.

Seriously, everyone here has said it. You can't make her bi or push her to try it. It has to be her choice totally and she may not be bi and never go down that road. You'll just have to be okay with it.

Like CB said if you reverse the scenerio. I know Spoo isn't even the slightest bit interested in other men so why would I want to push him to do something that he doesn't want to do?

Just let it go and enjoy the lifestyle in other ways that you "both" enjoy.

Mrs Spoomonkey

EmpyreanPleasur · 11-01-2005, 09:13 PM

Just as someone should not push their spouse into swinging if they aren't interested, then neither should someone push them into anything else, including a bi experience.

If it EVER happens, in the future, then it has to be her desire and on her terms.

Carol_Danny · 11-01-2005, 11:25 PM

Even though I am fully Bisexual, many of my girlfriends are not. It doesn't bother me at all, and I don't bother them

If she is not into women, just leave it alone and don't try to push her. If she does become interested or curious, allow her to enter it in her own good time.

Carol xoxoxo

CB_n_Red · 11-02-2005, 04:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mrs Spoomonkey

Dito I was thinking the same thing and see CB beat me to it.

Pure luck! I just happened to be logged on to the Board when that message came in!

CB

EmpyreanPleasur · 11-02-2005, 09:40 AM

I'd like to add...

It is my PERSONAL belief that bi-sexuality, unlike homosexuality, is a choice based on culture and experiences. If you push someone to do something they are not ready for, you may push them away from ever feeling comfortable with exploring this.

bear_and_babe · 11-02-2005, 10:35 AM

Ok, so it would turn you on if she did the bi thing, but what would it do for her? She has told you her feelings, so how would you feel if she did something just to please you? I guess what I am trying to get at is you need to respect her feelings and not push her into something she does not want to do.

When we started in the lifestyle, Bear said he wanted to watch me with another woman. I was curious about being with another woman also. So I tried it and Bear was there, and while he enjoyed watching, it just was not my thing. I explained that to him, and he has never said another word about me trying bi again. He knows that it is just not what I want to do.

SamuiCouple · 11-02-2005, 10:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EmpyreanPleasur

I'd like to add...

It is my PERSONAL belief that bi-sexuality, unlike homosexuality, is a choice based on culture and experiences. If you push someone to do something they are not ready for, you may push them away from ever feeling comfortable with exploring this.

I fully agree. I think most people, m or f, consider themselves straight till that first pleasurable experience. There's a mental barrier of 'I'm not gay' that has to be crossed. A big one. I think most ppl are potentially bi, it's a case of losing the indoctrination.

95mustang · 11-03-2005, 08:13 AM

My hubby would love to watch me with another women, however after reading post here I changed my bi-curious status in my profile to straight. I realized that although I enjoy kissing women and touching them. I don't enjoy anything below the belt with them. I'm just not interested. My hubby respects that and he can get just as much enjoyment from me kissing a girl. So I would say don't push it.

Mrs. 95mustang

EmpyreanPleasur · 11-03-2005, 09:54 AM

Interesting 95...I'm not sure that bisexual has to mean that you go "all the way". I think a lot of women are only interested in the touch and feel of another woman, but not necessarily every aspect of a sexual relationship. I'm not sure if that means you aren't bi or are?

looking2swing · 11-03-2005, 12:05 PM

I agree with everyone that has posted on this topic. I have always considered myself "straight" until my first bi-sexual experience. On occassion I enjoy being with a female as much as I enjoy being with a man. I do not consider myself to be bi-sexual, but instead bi-curious with certain woman.
Do not pressure her into doing anything that she doesn't want to do.

I have no desire to see my husband with anyone of the same sex, but I would never ask him or pressure him to do anything that he doesn't feel comfotable enough to initiate.

curiouscouple4f · 11-04-2005, 01:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SamuiCouple

I fully agree. I think most people, m or f, consider themselves straight till that first pleasurable experience. There's a mental barrier of 'I'm not gay' that has to be crossed. A big one. I think most ppl are potentially bi, it's a case of losing the indoctrination.

I don't agree, my husband finds nothing even remotely attractive about other men. To quote (and I mean no offense) "What would I find attractive about another man's hairy a**"

To give the ladies side of it, I wouldn't even think of pushing my husband to try a bi experience. Half the arousal for me is seeing and hearing my partners pleasure , if he/she isn't enjoying it then it does nothing for me. (And it shouldn't be just for you). I personally AM bi-curious, but if I try, and truly don't like (though my experiences so far lead me to believe I will enjoy venturing further) then it won't ever happen again, period, and if my husband pushed it would make me angry.

"The Mrs."

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11-01-2005, 02:55 PM	#1 (permalink)
sexRus50 Active Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 14 Location: daytona beach	wife won't do bi thing My wife loves the swinging scene. I am bi-curious and she loves to participate with me with other guys in hot threesomes. But, she is always on guard that a woman will touch her. She does attract both men and women. How do I get her to at least give it a try. It would turn me on so much to watch her with another woman as much as she gets turned on watching me with another man and participating.

11-01-2005, 03:06 PM	#2 (permalink)
CB_n_Red Life's too short not to.. Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 616 Location: East Yorkshire, UK Status: Married Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:CB_n_Red	Re: wife won't do bi thing Perhaps she knows that she isn't bi! Not all women are bi. In fact in our experience, quite a number of women who describe themselves in online adverts as bi-curious, aren't really at all. Red isn't bi. She thought about it, realised that she just isn't attracted to other women sexually, and that is that. Let's put it another way - I know I am straight. I wouldn't want to "give it a try" with another bloke even if Red wanted me to (which she doesn't). Likewise I wouldn't pressure her into doing something she isn't comfortable with. We all have our boundaries and trying to persuade a partner to go beyond their boundaries is likely to lead to problems. CB
	__________________ Take all things in moderation....including moderation

11-01-2005, 05:09 PM	#3 (permalink)
curiousduo30 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 201 Location: Western NY Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:curiousduo30	Re: wife won't do bi thing Dito to everything CB_n_Red have said.... She has to want to try the bi thing, or else it will probably lead to her being uncomfortable and possibly angry with you for suggesting it... This is HER body we are talking about here, she has to want it, or it won't be fun for either of you...
	__________________ ~Mrs.Curiousduo30 _____________________________________________ There are no good girls gone wrong, just bad girls found out. ~Mae West

11-01-2005, 07:09 PM	#4 (permalink)
txduo2000 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 662 Location: Dallas TX Area Status: Couple	Re: wife won't do bi thing Ditto to what the others said. I am a married, completely heterosexual female and I enjoy MFM threesomes, and WOULD enjoy FMF threesomes IF we could find a woman who wasn't bi. It's hard enough, I have noticed, for those who want bi women, to find single bi females. As I said, I am NOT bi. I have tried. LOL I know it is something that my husband would find really erotic and would truly enjoy. I have had a couple of encounters, but they really didn't float my boat and it's just not my thing. I am simply not interested in being with other women. Period. And NO ONE is going to change my mind about that, though we have met a couple of girls who have sworn that I am "closet bi" and just need to be "converted" !!! WTFE! NOT .... I wouldn't DREAM of asking my husband to do something he wasn't comfortable with, and I appreciate the same respect.
	__________________ Life is not measured by how many breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.

11-01-2005, 09:13 PM	#6 (permalink)
EmpyreanPleasur Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 161 Location: Illinois Status: M. Female	Re: wife won't do bi thing Just as someone should not push their spouse into swinging if they aren't interested, then neither should someone push them into anything else, including a bi experience. If it EVER happens, in the future, then it has to be her desire and on her terms.

11-01-2005, 11:25 PM	#7 (permalink)
Carol_Danny Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 221 Location: Montreal, QC, CA Status: Couple	Re: wife won't do bi thing Even though I am fully Bisexual, many of my girlfriends are not. It doesn't bother me at all, and I don't bother them If she is not into women, just leave it alone and don't try to push her. If she does become interested or curious, allow her to enter it in her own good time. Carol xoxoxo

11-02-2005, 09:40 AM	#9 (permalink)
EmpyreanPleasur Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 161 Location: Illinois Status: M. Female	Re: wife won't do bi thing I'd like to add... It is my PERSONAL belief that bi-sexuality, unlike homosexuality, is a choice based on culture and experiences. If you push someone to do something they are not ready for, you may push them away from ever feeling comfortable with exploring this.

11-02-2005, 10:35 AM	#10 (permalink)
bear_and_babe Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 209 Location: PA Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:bear_and_babe	Re: wife won't do bi thing Ok, so it would turn you on if she did the bi thing, but what would it do for her? She has told you her feelings, so how would you feel if she did something just to please you? I guess what I am trying to get at is you need to respect her feelings and not push her into something she does not want to do. When we started in the lifestyle, Bear said he wanted to watch me with another woman. I was curious about being with another woman also. So I tried it and Bear was there, and while he enjoyed watching, it just was not my thing. I explained that to him, and he has never said another word about me trying bi again. He knows that it is just not what I want to do.
	__________________ Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death! - Mame

11-03-2005, 08:13 AM	#12 (permalink)
95mustang Active Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 39 Location: Georgia	Re: wife won't do bi thing My hubby would love to watch me with another women, however after reading post here I changed my bi-curious status in my profile to straight. I realized that although I enjoy kissing women and touching them. I don't enjoy anything below the belt with them. I'm just not interested. My hubby respects that and he can get just as much enjoyment from me kissing a girl. So I would say don't push it. Mrs. 95mustang

11-03-2005, 09:54 AM	#13 (permalink)
EmpyreanPleasur Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 161 Location: Illinois Status: M. Female	Re: wife won't do bi thing Interesting 95...I'm not sure that bisexual has to mean that you go "all the way". I think a lot of women are only interested in the touch and feel of another woman, but not necessarily every aspect of a sexual relationship. I'm not sure if that means you aren't bi or are?

11-03-2005, 12:05 PM	#14 (permalink)
looking2swing Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 140 Location: Reno Status: happily married couple Swing Lifestyle Name:badswamper	Re: wife won't do bi thing I agree with everyone that has posted on this topic. I have always considered myself "straight" until my first bi-sexual experience. On occassion I enjoy being with a female as much as I enjoy being with a man. I do not consider myself to be bi-sexual, but instead bi-curious with certain woman. Do not pressure her into doing anything that she doesn't want to do. I have no desire to see my husband with anyone of the same sex, but I would never ask him or pressure him to do anything that he doesn't feel comfotable enough to initiate.
	__________________ Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer. ~Swami X

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