Women being fair by husband only watching?

[L&K]

we have been looking a short time to find a couple or couples that have the
same intrest we have in the swinging world. So far we have chatted with or
read about Bi women or bi courious women that wish to find another woman,
it is Ok if the hubby wishes to tag along and watch. Is this common i the
swinging world?

[ciscosv]

I wonder the same thing myself about those type of women. And the type that say they want to play with the wife first and then maybe include the husband later. WTF is that about? Issues with men maybe? Sorry but we play together. I would assume that these women don't get many responses from couples because that is a little selfish. These ladies must not understand that most couples don't swing alone. But, maybe I could be wrong..

[sccple29073]

Marv&sue

i can't speak for every woman but when i was looking for just a female, I did not mind if the female was married and hubby wanted to be there as long as it was understood that the men did not join.

WTF is that about? Issues with men maybe? Sorry but we play together. I would assume that these women don't get many responses from couples because that is a little selfish...

My sentiments exactly. We have run into quite a few couples who feel that way and frankly, we just don't bother with them anymore. Personally I figure there are either one of two things going on.

• (1) The guy is jealous or insecure and doesn't want his woman to be with another man.
• (2) The lady is actually gay and just puts up with her husband to stay in the closet.

Personally I love watching my beautiful wife with both women and men. Two reasons. [list][*](1) I love her and enjoy seeing her have a good time. [*] (2) The ego thing: I know they want her and I know she will be going home with me.

[JustAskJulie]

I think this goes back to what we were talking about in another thread "Has Swinging Evolved" with the internet and how it has changed swinging.

I don't know that I would even classify these as swingers, it's like the ones who look at swinging as a novelty. Well it's the "in thing" so we need to try it. They don't really understand what it's about.

As far as whether or not it's fair? That depends on the couple (again referring to another topic: "The other sided swinging" I think), as long as both partners are happy with what they are doing and agree to it then who's to say if it's fair or not. And as far as we go, we don't have to swing with them if that's not our thing. They will probably have a hard time finding what they are looking for.

[TeamSoBe]

We haven't been in this for very long since most of our experiences up until now have been with our normal-life friends. We have been approached by quite a lot of couples like this though, people looking to set up some lesbian porn thing with us where the guys sit and watch while the girls get it on.

We just don't bother with those people. We're in this because we like sex. Stuff like that really seems to us like a waste of time for people that aren't ready to just get down and fuck. We have enough problems of our own with being inexperienced for us to have to deal with people that might have issues. We have managed to get this far in our relationship and our sexual adventures with no real problems other than a shy erection at an embarrassing point, the last thing that we are interested in is getting involved in some kind of miscommunication with some couple that isn't ready for us and then getting dragged into their insecurity issues or whatever.

Some couples like to say that they normally do the 'soft-swap' lesbian sex show but that they will consider 'full-swap' with the 'right' couple. That kind of thing has happened with our closer friends and usually in the end it turned out to be a way for the girl to have some kinky fun and then go on her merry way, the guys end up with nothing. It sounds selfish for a guy to complain until that sort of thing happens two or three times in a row and you realize that it just isn't really very fair to your male half. That's the biggest reason why we are only interested in couples, and only couples that are comfortable going all the way. Single girls, single guys, soft-swap couples, everything else is only fun for our female half and a big irritating tease for our male half. It's fun for a while when you're first exploring but then you realize after a while that if you're really in it for each other for the long term then you both have to be having fun as much of the time as possible.

[Quin]

Originally posted by Marv&sue:
we have been looking a short time to find a couple or couples that have the
same intrest we have in the swinging world. So far we have chatted with or
read about Bi women or bi courious women that wish to find another woman,
it is Ok if the hubby wishes to tag along and watch. Is this common i the
swinging world?

As a bi-sexual, unmarried by choice female (and I've been bi since I was 18/19 so that's 23 years now, long before it was *cool* to be bi for a woman), I am also a totally equal opportunity swinger meaning...I'll fuck a man just as quickly as I'll lick a pussy, frankly said. If a couple is straight, I have no problem with that and respect it, as a majority of my swinging friends are totally heterosexual couples. And to be truthful, probably a majority of the woman of couples who claim to be bi-sexual would be just pleased as peaches to not have any interaction with the female part of a couple. These couples think that by saying the female part is bi-sexual that this will attract more couples and/or enlarge their field of possible playmates. I've seen many a self or husband proclaimed bi-sexual married woman actually only indulge to the point of receiving.

One has to actually wonder how many of these so called bi-sexual married women and bi-curious married women are actually interested in persuing bi-sexual sex that is equally satisfying to both female parties. I fear that in many instances, it's the husband part of the couple that has brought it up and the wife, wanting to please, agrees to try or agrees to allow a woman between her thighs. Just because a sexual act between two or more women may turn another woman on, doesn't necessarily mean that that woman is bi-sexual. For instance, I can watch a woman masturbate with a beer bottle and get turned on, does that mean I want a beer bottle also, hell no. And to be quite truthful, if I only wanted sex with a female, I'd be a lesbian, plain and simple.

If you're reading these things on the internet, I wouldn't put much stock into them. Go to a club, the fact is, you just won't see as many women together as what the internet or even people may lead you to believe you may see. And the older the crowd, the less apt you are to find women interacting sexually with each other.

As far as myself, if I am with a couple or couples and all the women are all together having fun, while I wouldn't mind the males watch for a bit, I would truly be sadden if the males opted to sit out on the sidelines during the entire time. I don't care what kind of dildo they may come out with...there ain't nuttin like the real thing!

Quin

[L&K]

Julie and Quin, Thank you for your input. This has explained alot to me.
I will not call myself bi-courious any more, rather that I have no Problems
with Bi women or would have any trouble being with one. Touching her or
her touching me. but for the most part i am a straight woman that perfers
to be with a man in the end. I think quin put it best when she said what she
did about the bottle.

Thanks again,

Sue

[LovelyLynn]

Well,let me tell you a little about me then.I am a 21 married woman.I have been wanting to try a woman for a long time,but I used to be quite a loneer.I met my husband the day after my 20th birthday,and lost my virginity to him.There was something special about him that made me open up to him,because I have usually shyed away from men.Now,I would like to be with a woman by myself,so I can do it.It's not his idea,I just get his ok on it,and I am certainly not a lesbian.Now of course I am a stripper,so I still am not to fond of other men,and I dont like the type of women that work there,although I have gotten plenty of offers.So before you start to think to badly about these type of women,you might want to find out there story

[L&K]

hi lynn,

was not meaning to put anyone down and what you said is true. my thing with it is most of these women are not truthfull in what they are looking for. there ads read couple seeking couple and are bi courious if they only wish to have the bi experience then post that.

Marv and i are also new at this and wish to share our experiences together. that is just us. We have been together over 25 years and our lives together mean more to us then anything. For year's I had endo. if you know what that is. If not in short it always caused me pain with intercourse. Now I have that taken care of I am like a teen again wishing to experience life.

As you said , might want to hear the rest of the story.

Sue

Take time to stop and smell the roses.

[youngswingers]

Marv & Sue as a part of a pretty good sized group of soft swingers who engage in the "lesbian sex show", we have to point out that the swing world isn't quite as black and white as Team SoBe may paint it. A lot of women in normal relationships are bi curious or just plain bi. Swinging, for them, is a safe way to express this aspect of their sexuality. Around this board we are always quick to tell people to explore to the level they feel comfortable with and to never let anybody (including their partner) push them further than that. Women who are looking to play with only women are just as entitled to do so as women who only want men or couples who only will only swing with people who are close to them in age. This board generally seems to be unanimous about stressing that people who are looking for something specific be upfront and honest with themselves and other people they encounter. It seems to us that these women who want only women are being pretty upfront about it.

As for you Team SoBe, these arranges are hardly unfair to their male half. The guys are there for their partners, and are more than happy to comply with their partner's wishes. After all, it is not as if they get totally ignored! If were playing with a couple who demonstrated that the male half was there only to get his we wouldn't stick around. Our advise is this: there are very few certainties in this world, don't presume because things work work for you in one way that it is only way to go.

[coolwetbreeze]

Hi...I'd like to add to this by saying that I don't feel a man is left out even if he doesn't get to put his cock anywhere but in his hand. He is there for a reason. The reason most likely being a fantasy for the woman of being with another woman. So yes...she get's to be between the legs of the other woman. And what does he get? Well hell! He gets almost the best part. The visual. He get's to remember the actual act of the two women that he got to watch. The woman he loves, trying something she's fantasized about and the other woman stretched out naked for him to see. Then he get's to go home with that woman he loves and make love to her while he has that great visual going on(amomg other things,like a great hard on going).I, being a woman don't agree that it is selfish for the the girls to play with out the men touching. My guy can be a part of it by touching me if he wants. I think they get theirs involved or not. Lighten up and let the women enjoy for once.

[sportync]

One point which I think should be made here is simply this... there are an inexhaustable amounts of variations and turn-ons in human sexuality..What really fires up one persons engines may very well be a complete turn off to another. I find a great deal of catagorizing going on which I think kind of misses the point.Anyone at any given point in time may find something sexually arrousing, and the reverse is also true..under certian conditions, something which usually is a turn on, may have the opposite effect. Thus stated, I think that most people must go with what they feel comfortable with at a given point in time, with all the various uncontrolable factors in play. After all, this is about fulfillment and exploration, as well as interaction with your chosen companion. The relationship must come first, and the fairness issue is one which I think must be resolved by the couple before the party begins.

[mehim]

One point which I think should be made here is simply this... there are an inexhaustable amounts of variations and turn-ons in human sexuality..What really fires up one persons engines
--------------------------------------------------i agree . i am one of the bicurious one ,and both of us , been in a section with a couple where we all ended up in one bed hands start roaming and i was amazed, how soft and diffrend the womens breast feel , ,so diffrent as when you touch your own .and how turned on i was , i love to explore that experiance a little furter, and i know in time i will <me>