Return Emaill Etiquette?

[lucyandmatt]

Hello....great site- we are new here but have enjoyed reading your discussions.
Question- any opinions on returning emails when people respond to your ad- even if the number is a bit overwhelming?
I think since my SO is attractive we get tons of emails. Plenty from people who wouldn't even seem to fit the description of what we are looking for. That said we dont want to just ignore people. Any general etiquette out there? Should we respond with a nice "thanks, but no thanks" to every mail?
Sorry if this is a dumb question but i am southern so i am just trying to be polite

[fun_pairTX]

First off Welcome to the board.

A valid concern to be sure. We always return email, even if it is a thanks but no thanks. There is no reason to get into detail or to explain yourself. We feel that anything less is rude.

[lucyandmatt]

thanks for the advice guys...works for me also

[aviancpl]

"No, thanks. Have fun! "

Just like that...

[Spoomonkey]

Here the Spoomonkeys have differing opinions...

His - if someone is too stupid to read the profile, I am not going to bother replying. But - I am a guy who's career is telling people "no"... So I don't have much time for that in my personal life

Hers - She agrees that there are some really silly people out there who can't read profiles, but is a little more liberal with my computer time... Some aren't worth responding to, but she thinks maybe I should respond to more of them than I do.

Typically, we will e-mail back and forth with most, but there are some that we don't even bother. We've gotten e-mails where it was obvious they had a "form" inquiry that they sent out to just about everyone. Those we look at as spam.

If you are a couple - we always reply. If you are a single male who can read - we always reply. If you are a single guy who thinks the key to getting lucky is volumn over substance - good luck...

Mr and Mrs Spoomonkey

[yawannadrink]

Originally posted by aviancpl
"No, thanks. Have fun! "

Just like that...

Short and sweet, we agree

[leftcoastcouple]

For those who meet the criteria of what we're looking for as stated in our ad--currently, a couple--we always reply with something short, sweet and polite.

We must be the exception, though, because we often get "Thank You" replies to our replies. Maybe it's because we're on AFF and folks are just getting used to fakes. I'm not sure.

As for the single guys with "form letter" emails--particularly when accompanied by pictures of their genitals--they get nothing or, if they're particularly obnoxious (especially if they send repeated messages), they often get a special sort of reply. And it ain't complimentary or friendly, either!

[sexypairca]

I'll reply to a genuine response sent but not an obvious form type of response. If someone took the time to write to us specifically I will make an honest effort to do the same whether it is a no thanks or a this looks interesting. Some do slip through the cracks just due to busy points in time. After a reasonable period of time has passed, if I haven't responded I'm a little sheepish to do so, makes it look like an after thought even though that isn't the case. I agree with the better late than never policy but at times I don't quite make the cut .

Annette

[yawanna]

When we have posted ads... we make the initial effort to respond in some fashion. Usually we've chosen to say 'thank you for responding to our ad... we are a bit overwhelmed and will respond to those we feel we should talk further with"

We try to not hurt anyone's feelings for responding and yet.. be sincere and clear

[lookin_forfun65]

Hi and Welcome . We try to respond to all emails. Like some have said above, some are viewed as spam and ignored. Basically I say thanks for the email, not interested, and have fun/good luck with your search kind of email.

[Brit_Pair]

Succinct and polite, with no detail. Treat others as you'd like to be treated yourselves.

[PrtyinDuo]

His - if someone is too stupid to read the profile, I am not going to bother replying.

We both tend to agree with MrSpoomonkey on this,at least to a certain extent.Our profile clearly sates what we are looking for.
But some of the replies we get clearly are from someone who hasn't takin even the slightest of concern of the differences there are between our profiles,or even the sexual agenda is ignored.
Those kinda folks usually don't get a reply.(At least a nice one )But if the reply seems genuine and sincere,and it seems like at least the responder(s) took the time to read our profile,then even a 'sorry,but thanks' reply back is in order.Its just the proper thing to do.Thats our 2 pennies!!


Enjoy!! and Welcome lucyandmatt

[Alura]

The only Lifestyle emails we ever get are from members of this board. Except for the crude single males, we always answer right away. Well, we answer them right away too, but the answer is not the same.

We don't run ads.

Alura

[MIbbwcpl]

If it's someone who clearly doesn't meet what we are looking for, I just hit delete. No single men means just that, and the few times I have replied ty but no ty, they try to have a long drawn out discussion trying to convince us to change our minds. Talk about rude.

[Brit_Pair]

With some contact sites, there's now an effort to stop advertisers having to deal with replies from people who haven't bothered to read their advert properly.

One site we use forwards all response emails to protect your address. As a by-product, you're able to define who you will accept mail from. For instance, if a single male replies to our ad, they receive an automated response that effectively says, "This is the only reply you'll be getting from us since you obviously don't fit the criteria we're looking for."

It's not 100% effective (after all, a single male can register for membership as a couple or single female), but it does cut down on a good deal of the crap. And as you're able to be quite precise in who you'll accept mail from - in terms of gender, age, geography, sexual preference etc. - it means there's a fair chance that the replies you actually read will be from people you stand a chance of wanting to know better.

A glimpse of the future?