need conversation help

[pinkyloveiv]

So, we've emailed with a couple a few times. The hubby from other couple and I (female of my couple) have text flirted too. We are going to meet in person soon but I'm a bit worried. They have said that they don't mix their personal life with their swinging life (no problem) but after a few emails from them (him), I feel like I can't talk about anything except sex with them. I can carry a conversation with new people but it always starts with kids/work/hobbies etc. I get the feeling from him that they aren't up to sharing that info with people. What are we supposed to talk about when we meet? I'm sure one of you will have a totally obvious suggestion that will make me say "duh, why didn't I think of that?" lol!

[couple4fun2821]

I am glad I am not the only one that has this question. Thanks for asking!

[good times]

I wouldn't be inclined to share any information about our personal life with anyone through the internet either, that I hadn't met in person. I have a feeling that once you meet in person you will find plenty to talk about. This is one of the reasons why we firmly believe that any more communication through the internet other than, "you interested, ok, when and where do you want to meet" is a total waste of time.

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by good times

I wouldn't be inclined to share any information about our personal life with anyone through the internet either, that I hadn't met in person. I have a feeling that once you meet in person you will find plenty to talk about. This is one of the reasons why we firmly believe that any more communication through the internet other than, "you interested, ok, when and where do you want to meet" is a total waste of time.

The more time you spend exchanging information on the net, the less chance you will ever play.

At least thats how it seems to us.

[pinkyloveiv]

My problem isn't with them not wanting to share information at all. I totally understand. My problem is knowing how to have conversation with them in person. I'm new to this and still learning. I don't want to cross their boundries with what they are comfortable sharing.

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by pinkyloveiv

My problem isn't with them not wanting to share information at all. I totally understand. My problem is knowing how to have conversation with them in person. I'm new to this and still learning. I don't want to cross their boundries with what they are comfortable sharing.

Same way you have a conversation with everyone else. They will give you specifics as they see fit.

[good times]

I agree with Chicup, if you broach a subject they don't feel like sharing, the worse that can happen is that they might tell you they would prefer not to say.

This is one of those cases that I think you might be over thinking this or worrying about it too much, just go and be yourself. I am one of those people that if, during a conversation with someone I think it, I will probably say it. Yet I haven't ever had anyone refuse to answer a question I have asked. In my experience when meeting someone for the first time in swinging, it really is pretty much the same as meeting anyone else for the first time.

[SouthBond]

Where are you going to be when you meet? You might not feel comfortable talking about group sex in the middle of McDonald's. So maybe a public place with vanilla people around would not be a good idea. It's safe but may limit the conversation. You need to meet where you can concentrate on each other and get down to what you want to do. If you have shared pictures and had a little email fun that seemed be accepted by all, you are getting close to fulfilling your fantasy. Now what do you want to do? And how comfortable are you with doing what you want to do? When you go to the motel room and pull off all of your cloths, real adult things start happening. Are you really ready to do and accept it? You are not there to talk about the kids and PTA. You are there to talk about opening up a world of lustful excitement that you have never known. As a team, you and your husband want to help the other couple feel good so that they can help you feel good. You are there to talk about sex.

[fun4Ds]

There is nothing wrong with how ya feel about this . To be honest we like to feel someone out a little with conversation about our kids or whats going on in our vanilla life. (without giving out names or where's). in the beginning for us we wanted a couple that was on the same level as us . And thats all good. thats what chats and dinner or meet and greets are about.

But, if things are leading to sex there has to be a shift in conversation :surrender .

I mean I'm a guy, so talking about kids or work or even life's hassles is just not a mood setter for me. I wouldn't feel wright chatting with a woman and just chatting about sex till after we get to that level. I'm thinking if some guy can only chat about sex he is probably stroking the bone at the pewter.

Ask any questions you like about anything ya like. Its cool and I'm a guy who isn't in to chat sex.