Handling male orgasm?

[josiefun]

My husband and I recently attended a swing club. We were wondering what the etiquette is regarding male ejaculation in a group setting. Is the guy expected to ask his partner where/how she'd like him to finish? Obviously, if he's wearing a condom, there's no question where it will end up, but what about when playing or having oral sex with multiple participants and there's no real "talking" going on?

[JustAskJulie]

I would say definately ask first, not in regards to cumming in general but in regards to where. Some women are very adament about certain things.

Some will want it down their throats, others will want it all over their face, others won't want it anywhere near them, so it's best to ask before you come.

Personally, I always enjoy hearing a guy say "I'm about to come, where do you want it?"

[Regularguy]

Here is the problem with the overall premise of this; It ASSUMEs that a guy's come is some type of offensive fluid where women need to be WARNED about it.

If a woman has that type of attitude then I won't have anything to do with her-there are too many women available who love everything about a guy then to have to waste time dealing with an offensive anti-male attitude.

Can you imagine if we dictated to a women where we wanted her lubrication to end up in case we didn't want it in our mouths or on our dicks? In fairness, over a longer period of time, women secrete an equal amount of fluid, the difference is, us guys aren't phobic about it and we don't engage in long conversations attempting to change the taste via dietary suggestions.

This reply is generically posted and not in specific reference to any post here or person by the way. Most people here are pretty interesting ; )

My experience at swing clubs is women are usually there because they love everything about guys in the first place, so so far I haven't run into this at all, they have just swallowed it down eagerly or had me come in them.

[Mariposa_y_Oso]

No offense, RegularGuy, but your reply is a bit arrogant, if not downright misogynistic...


//Here is the problem with the overall premise of this; It ASSUMEs that a guy's come is some type of offensive fluid where women need to be WARNED about it.\\

I think the smart play here is to assume that semen is potentially dangerous, especially in a group setting as josiefun mentioned, where there is a good possibility of contact with complete strangers. That aside, everyone is entitled to their own preferences and opinions.

There is one couple that we play with on a fairly regular basis where the wife just doesn't like cum - even her husband's. I don't take this personally, I respect this and try to be considerate towards her wishes. My wife, on the other hand, enjoys cum and if we know a couple really well, has no problem with swallowing. Everyone is different.

I have a question to pose to you, if I may... Let's say you are playing with another couple. She is on her back, he is having sex with her, and you are playing with her breasts. As he's about to cum, he decides to pull out and cum on her belly. While he's pulling out, you notice the movement and turn your head in that direction and receive a couple of shots to the face. Would that bother you? It shouldn't because it's not an offensive fluid, right?

I'll admit that I pose this question blindly and it may be moot. Perhaps you're bi and would rather take him in your mouth as he cums and swallow his load yourself. Not my thing, but to each his own. If I were in a similar situation, I assure you that I'd be heading to the restroom for a little old-fashioned soap-and-water action myself.



To address the original post...personally, I tend to be rather vocal when I'm cumming, so there is plenty of warning/opportunity for the woman to tell me where she wants it. Mari tells me she can tell when a man is about to cum when she's giving oral, so even if he doesn't say anything, she's able to point the gun where she wants it to go...

Cheers!
~Mike

[OhioCouple]

I am one of those females that DO NOT like to swallow cum or have it on my face. I do love having it shoot on my belly or my breasts as much as I love the internal feeling.

When giving a blow job, I can tell just before a man is ready to cum as their testicals tighten up. (At least that is my experience) When I feel that start to happen I will finish it off in steady strokes aimed at where I want it. I also do not take for granted anything. I will let any partners know before hand that it is off limits. Period.

It is not that I dislike the taste of semen, but the thickness of it just gags me. I can't handle that.

As a bisexual woman, I have no problem taking a woman to the ultimate and lapping it up. Of all the female cum I have experienced none have compared to the thickness of a males. On another note though, If my one of the males has cum into the woman, I can handle the semen then as it tends to lose it thickness and is then enjoyable. The women have no complaints about this and the men aren't exactly being dissatisfied either! Usually they are rock hard and ready to roll again!

Lori

[Regularguy]

Mike, no, my post took those with misandristic views and the double standard to task. Defending one's gender and exposing a double standard is hardly mysogynistic or arrogant. One thing nice about being a respectable, popular nice guy with manners is I don't have to tolerate anti-male behavior to just get laid.

Mike wrote; "I think the smart play here is to assume that semen is potentially dangerous"

Mike, I am sorry, but that is a misandristic way to think. While I want people to feel comfortable with their decisions, know that i feel more comfortable not being around people who are male-phobic. Why is not a women's lubrication not also something to assume is "dangerous"

"I have a question to pose to you, if I may... Let's say you are playing with another couple. She is on her back, he is having sex with her, and you are playing with her breasts. As he's about to cum, he decides to pull out and cum on her belly. While he's pulling out, you notice the movement and turn your head in that direction and receive a couple of shots to the face. Would that bother you? It shouldn't because it's not an offensive fluid, right?"

What is interesting about your scenario Mike is you didn't set up a heterosexual scenario. I regularly go down on women full of my come, I kiss women who have my come in their mouths, etc. I have also licked women's clits while there guys are inside of them and coming. My post was about me refusing to be with misandristic women who don't like results of male pleasure, and the double standard of body fluid, but instead you made a male on male scenario. A more parallel scenario is if a women could squirt all her lubrication at once, would you ask her to 'warn" you or spit it out"? The answer would be no. Or maybe once a women starts lubricating, would I move my tongue away so as not to taste the fluid? Again, no. Would i ask questions like" is there something a woman can eat that would change the taste of her pussy juice"? Again, no.

"I'll admit that I pose this question blindly and it may be moot. Perhaps you're bi and would rather take him in your mouth as he cums and swallow his load yourself. Not my thing, but to each his own. If I were in a similar situation, I assure you that I'd be heading to the restroom for a little old-fashioned soap-and-water action myself. "

Mike, that was a disingenuous ad homineum attack.....is your position and ideas so indefensible you must insinuate your debate opposition must be some cum swallowing bisexual? We would have all laughed in debate competitions in high school had you stated such because tactically everyone would have know it is the equivalent of throwing in the towel. I am quite produly heterosexual by choice, buy I don't fear dicks and come. As a matter of fact, I have my very own dick I take with me everywhere I go.

I think that the results of me pleasuring the opposite sex isn't something to be phobic about, and I wanted to point out the double standard.

[Flori_DAMAN]

Pardon me?

".We would have all laughed in debate competitions in high school had you stated such because tactically everyone would have know it is the equivalent of throwing in the towel.

High school debate class? Is this a debatable issue? Are we all gonna get our own lockers?

Is ejaculating on a female now considered a human right?

I open doors for ladies, stand up when they enter a room, take my hat off and put my shirt on when dining with them, and never ejaculate on them unless they have expressed a desire for me too do so.

I am polite and respectful of females not because of a sublimal desire to lay every one of them I meet, but because it is the way my mother taught me to be. Now don't you go debatin my momma! Of course mother never actually gave me rules about where to squirt my jism, but I would certainly feel a bit presumptious to assume I could squirt it on anyone's hair, her face, her tits, or even her best sofa without at least asking.

Comparing semen to females lubrication in this context is ludicrous at best. Do you really believe what you are saying? Millions of men actually prefer not to engage in oral sex because they just don't like the idea of lapping bodily fluids. Especially if the female is very sexually active.

Extending your argument to its logical conclusion men should have no choice either. If any female that you are having sex with wants you to eat her then its your duty. cmon.

You suggest that you are defending the entire male gender.

Maybe you really think you are, but you certainly don't represent the entire gender, at least not the human species.

One other thing that kinda bugs me.

Regularguy "My post was about me refusing to be with misandristic women who don't like results of male pleasure, ...."

Call me dumb but I had to look up misyngistic.....

Here is what I found at merriam's, Greek misogynia, from misein to hate + gynE woman -- Date: circa 1656
: a hatred of women


So you don't like misandristic women? I'm just confused I guess....John.

[sportync]

This seems to me a case of taking a simple question and complicating the hell out of it. Nowhere in the original post was there anything written that would make one feel that this post assumes that male ejaculate is offensive. They were just asking a question regarding etiquette, and it seemed to me a very reasonable question. How that ever got you talking about high-school debate class and male homosexuality is beyond me. You're with someone you really don't know and you are about to come with a stranger in a strange environment. Yes, I think it would be polite to ask, not because male ejaculate is offensive, but because some people might prefer it on their breasts or in their mouth instead of in their pussy. It's all about fantasy fulfillment, and everyone's is different. It might be her fantasy to have you pull out and come in her husband's mouth, but you'll never know if you don't ask! So it just seems the polite thing to do to tell them and let them decide. It could make for smoother sailing the next time and could very well insure that there might just be a next time.Sportync

[Regularguy]

I don't think a woman should have to ask a guy if it is ok for her to lubricate into his mouth during oral sex, which is a perfectly natural physiological response to a guy going down on a girl, and I don't think a guy should have to ask if it is ok for him to have a perfectly natural physiological reaction by coming when a woman is going down on him. I would expect a guy to finish her proper, and I would expect a woman to do the same. Is it a requirement? No. I had the same situation happen to me once. The girl pulled her mouth off me just as I was about to come. Ruined my climax. Then I went down on her...and just as she was about to come, I stopped licking her clit and rubbed it instead with a finger. She yelled at me that I ruined her climax. i told her i was just like her, I don't want people to climax while my mouth was on them durin goral sex, I told her I thought she could relate. She was fuming as I laughed, walked out the front door and told her to go buy a vibrator and never call me again. There are too many women who like giving oral sex the right way, and too many guys who love to go down on their woman, for people to settle for someone who isn't a as pleasing of a lover as possible.

I will continue to equate a guy coming with a woman coming, as both are excreting body fluids, the delivery is just timed different. OhioCouple, I beleieve in fair play, so the times I have run into guys who liked to receive oral sex from a woman and not give it, I strongly let them know what I thought of that. I cannot believe there actually are guys that do not like to give a woman pleasure with their mouths and tongues. It drives women nuts, and what guy who isn't good lover would pass up on such a chance to so please his partner?!

[Greg & Sheryl]

While you, regularguy, certainly have the right to choose your sexual partners based on their acceptance of your semen, it must be pointed out that your treatment of the lady in your story was quite cruel. As disappointing as it may of been to have your climax ruined when she took her mouth off of you, she didn't do that with punitive intent. You, on the other hand, ruined her climax deliberately and proceeded to make sarcastic remarks before walking out on her. We won't go as far as to label your behavior mysogynistic, but we will call it rude.

As active swingers, we're sure most of us have been in a situation where we discovered that our playmate for the evening isn't the lover we hoped he/she would be. To denigrate that person before the sheets are even dry doesn't do anything but hurt the feelings of others and create enemies for yourself. You described yourself as a "respectable, popular nice guy with manners," regularguy, but you certainly don't come across as being that way in your story.

A better way to handle this situation would have been to say nothing, but decline to play with her again if she ever makes another offer. Better yet, why not discuss a lady's semen preferences with her before you end up in the sack?

[Greg & Sheryl]

While you, regularguy, certainly have the right to choose your sexual partners based on their acceptance of your semen, it must be pointed out that your treatment of the lady in your story was quite cruel. As disappointing as it may of been to have your climax ruined when she took her mouth off of you, she didn't do that with punitive intent. You, on the other hand, ruined her climax deliberately and proceeded to make sarcastic remarks before walking out on her. We won't go as far as to label your behavior mysogynistic, but we will call it rude.

As active swingers, we're sure most of us have been in a situation where we discovered that our playmate for the evening isn't the lover we hoped he/she would be. To denigrate that person before the sheets are even dry doesn't do anything but hurt the feelings of others and create enemies for yourself. You described yourself as a "respectable, popular nice guy with manners," regularguy, but you certainly don't come across as being that way in your story.

A better way to handle this situation would have been to say nothing, but decline to play with her again if she ever makes another offer. Better yet, why not discuss a lady's semen preferences with her before you end up in the sack?

[youngish56]

regularguy and others-

I'm sure I'm not the only one to have needed dictionary assistance to even start understanding your posts. Once I understood the textbook meaning of three of the mystery words, only then could I reread your text to understand its content.

Sorry to be pill - or is that a pharmaceutical capsulation.haha

[Regularguy]

Greg and Sheryl,

Interesting how you leap to the defense of a women who screws up a guys climax, but then when he does to her exactly the same thing, you call him rude.

This is another typical example of boorish behavior by women being excused and even affirmatively defended and when a guy does the same thing he is called rude and misogynist which if radical feminist lexicon to be hurled at your political enemies (males). Since it is quite clear I don't tolerate such behavior beaue I am not a wimp, it is apparent that guys who don't are to be attacked because guys need to be kept in a place where they accept crappy behavior by women and anything less, they are to be personally denigrated just as you did to me.

Your response bolsters my contention once again.

Youngish56, if you need a dictionary to understand my posts, at least you finally end up understanding them......that is better than I do about my posts,

As to my vocabulary (if only I proof-typed my posts!), I have been told by some it is vast. I have been told by others it is not vast at all. I think I am safe to assume I am right in the middle-- I am half-vast.

[Greg & Sheryl]

"Interesting how you leap to the defense of a women who screws up a guys climax, but then when he does to her exactly the same thing, you call him rude. "

Perhaps you skimmed over the part where we wrote, "When she took her mouth off of you, she didn't do that with punitive intent." That was the distinction we were making. We were deliberately trying to avoid making this a male/female issue, even going as far as saying, "We won't go as far as to label your behavior mysogynistic." Perhaps you skimmed over that statement as well.

This isn't an issue about female behavior versus male behavior. This is simply an issue of common courtesy. In the story you relayed to us, we feel you failed to exhibit any courtesy, even though courtesy is something you regard as one of your virtues.

We believe our basic disagreement lies in your assertion that any woman who doesn't "love everything about a guy" is somehow "anti-male." We fail to see that connection. We feel that an aversion to semen is a mere personal preference that needs to be respected.

[youngish56]

Regularguy-

You post an interesting dichotomy of humility and arrogance. None have personally attacked you as yet. Keep up the interesting posts. Your challenges bring out interesting responses.

I learned "dichotomy" in a marketing class plus 30 years ago.

My other 3 or more syllable words are "deviate' and "degenerate". Please confine your future posts to one or two syllables except when using these words. haha

Pere Noel.