Who should pay for the hotel room?

[calicpl2002]

here is the question that is on our minds. we have had several mfm 3somes with a friend of hubby's and have always paid for the hotel room. then one day hubby says do you think since he is having as much fun as we are that he should help in the cost of the encounters ( at least pay for every other room rental) . i thought that sounds like a reasonable request.so hubby poses the question to our friend and he says ok at first. then when it was time for him to pay for the room on the next encounter. he says well why do we even rent a room you guys have a house and so do i if you guys dont want to do it at your house we can do it at mine. but see i have a problem with that because i feel more comfortable at a hotel room were both parties can leave at any given time after the encounter. (plus it makes me feel more naughty) well then he goes on to say that he didnt know at the start of this that he was going to have to pay for it ( implying paying for the pussy) and that if he invited us to dinner he would pay. therefore since it is us that is inviting him to play that we should pay for the room. yet it is also him thhat calls my hubby and asks question like when do i get to taste that sweet wife of yours again?. well we arent really sure who this falls on i guess we feel since he is also have fun that why not share the costs. what do you guys this board think about that are we wrong in asking this ?

[WesternSwing]

I don't think it's wrong in asking, after all he is getting a HUGE benefit from this relationship. Common courtesy would dictate that he offers to pay for the room. You two can go home and have sex. He gets to go home and masturbate. Seems like $65 - $100 for a room is a small price to pay once in a while. It doesn't sound like your asking him to pay everytime.

From your other comments it sounds to me like he is just a cad (it's no wonder he's single). I'd dump him and find another. There are plenty more single males out there that would love to be your third that won't be such an ass.

Mr. WS

[midnight hour]

I don't think it is unfair to ask for half the money at all...after all your bringing the entertainment actually I would say it would be fair and IMHO just a tad stingy not too...if a hotel room is part of it for you then that makes it all the better... facelick

Midnight Hour

[two4youinswva]

Originally Posted by calicpl2002

well then he goes on to say that he didnt know at the start of this that he was going to have to pay for it ( implying paying for the pussy) and that if he invited us to dinner he would pay. therefore since it is us that is inviting him to play that we should pay for the room. yet it is also him thhat calls my hubby and asks question like when do i get to taste that sweet wife of yours again?.

We would find these statements to be a huge turnoff. Honestly, after saying things like this, he wouldn't have to worry about paying for anything involving us.

[harleycouple24]

I would find me another play partner.he should pay every other time or atleast pay half.i am the type person that always ask if i can pay this time or offer to help with the room.i despise to be around freeloaders.and thats what this guy is.sorry for being so blunt but have had people do the same to us over who pays for dinner.you know the type that out fumbles you when its time to leave a tip.

[ImUrHuckleberry]

I guess I'd have to tell the guy to go fuck himself, 'cause he wouldn't be gettin' anymore of my honeys sweet pussy! No offense, but this guy's an ass not to mention an idiot. I agree w/ WesternSwing on the "no wonder he's single" comment.

[JustAskJulie]

I have to agree AND disagree with the previous responses. I don't think you were wrong to ask him to pay half of the room. But he also has a point, if you both have a house that can be used, and he is offering his place, and you are insisting on a hotel room - then you should pay for the hotel room. If he was not willing to offer his place, then it would be another story.

His actions beyond that might determine that you just don't want to play with him again, but that's up to you to decide. I wouldn't care much for this either:

yet it is also him thhat calls my hubby and asks question like when do i get to taste that sweet wife of yours again?

and wouldn't be playing with him just based on that as it would be a huge turnoff to have him doing that.

[curiousagain]

From a single guy.

DUMP HIM!!!

Julie hit it on the head.

[RitzAnTitz]

This is my own personal opinion...

Good Question you posed. When you first got together was it ever discussed as to who would pay for the room. I take it, you've done this a few times and are realizing how overwhelming the cost of a hotel room has become and would like to have him help financially. After all..he is part of the equasion, right?

Unless the three of you have sat down together and discussed this, then don't expect it. Sounds like you have and he has offered two other ideas to relieve the cost...his place for play or yours. Not a bad suggestion. The assumption is made that you have taken his suggestion under consideration. You have decided you prefer to feel "naughty". You want that additional "naughty" feeling, feel free to pay for it. Just don't ask him to pay if that is the only reason you want to continue to play at a hotel.

As for some of the comments he has made...Because the three of you have been engaging in sexual play, he may feel comfortable with your husband in speaking with him in this mannor. We don't know the full conversation, as only one statement has been posed here. It may not be in good taste, but we don't know all of the conversation.

So, here are the options as I see it: 1. You continue to pay for the hotel in order to have that naughty feeling. 2. You start playing at either your house or his in order to relieve the financial burden. 3. Address the things that have been said that you feel are offensive, kiss, make up or find another playmate.

It's that simple.

Yours in the Lifestyle,

Jewel

[JustAskJulie]

As for some of the comments he has made...Because the three of you have been engaging in sexual play, he may feel comfortable with your husband in speaking with him in this mannor. We don't know the full conversation, as only one statement has been posed here. It may not be in good taste, but we don't know all of the conversation.

Excellent points all, but especially this one as it is something I think the rest of us really didn't think about. You are right, tho, if they've been playing for a while and he feels comfortable with them it's not that out of line that he may have had that candor with the husband.

All in all though, it comes down to - if you aren't comfortable with the guy don't play with him, but don't drop him over not wanting to pay for the hotel room when he's given you other options - and you have CHOSEN not to go with the alternatives.

[tryit2?]

OK, my 2 cents worth (and change) LOL Does he pay for the meal any of the time? If he were to take you out to a resturant, (not the golden arches!!) would that take the burden off you paying for the room? It seems he has given a couple other options, that you seem not to wish to do. Maybe a compromise PART OF THE TIME, might be something to consider. Best of luck to you

[calicpl2002]

well this has actually made me feel worse lol like we are some kind of poor and cheap people. well it has nothing to do with the cost being a burden, it is the principle of it. we have always paid for everything from dinner to the room, which is not a problem. we just felt that if it was the other way a round the we would feel privileged to be invited and to pick up a tab every now and then, but thats just us. this is a bit irritating but never the less we have a good time with him and he is in fact a great lay ( lol good for me ) and i hate to give up the chemistry and the comfortable feeling we have with him. so although this is a bump in the road and i do thank you all for your opinions. i think we should just ride this one out. besides two great cocks far outways a few bucks imho lol. but this stituation does still need to be evaluated. thank you all for you opinions

[DBL D]

Originally Posted by ImUrHuckleberry

I guess I'd have to tell the guy to go fuck himself, 'cause he wouldn't be gettin' anymore of my honeys sweet pussy! No offense, but this guy's an ass not to mention an idiot. I agree w/ WesternSwing on the "no wonder he's single" comment.

Originally Posted by Curiousagain

From a single guy.

DUMP HIM!!!

Kinda have to agree with these responses. Just what the world needs...another idiot!

Male D

[Fernando]

Im a single man and the only time ive been with a couple to a Motel (the rest were in swinger clubs premises) i paid for the room.They didnt ask me to but i did, and i recall the husband being surprised and said somethig like "eh look at this, hes paying, the last guy didnt offer to do this" or something similar, so i really think the single man should pay.If you guys can pay the room everyonce in a while great, but at least 80% of the time its up to the single guy, really, so thats my opinion,

Regards

Fernando

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by calicpl2002

we have always paid for everything from dinner to the room, which is not a problem.

You buy his dinner???



He is a very fortunate fella...

We have a rule that we don't let our swinger friends pick up the tab - we don't like the feeling of obligation afterwards. Sure, there does come a time in the friendship when the mysterious line between friend and swinger is crossed and the one or the other may pick up the tab here and there - as friends...

But even if we were with vanilla friends and they constantly stuck us with the tab, we'd encourage them to "adjust". There is no way in hell we'd pick up the tab everytime we went out to dinner with friends.

If you play regularly - and a hotel is your play place of choice - simply tell him you need him to carry his weight a bit (for the love of god, at least let him buy his own supper). If he balks, then move on. My guess is, he'll probably get the message when you DON'T slip him the room key next time...

Spoomonkey