Kiss and Tell????

[Joe_Ang]

How much information do you usually share with others in the lifestlye about who you have been with?

Last night, Joe and I went on a date when a friend of ours called on the cell phone. We have played with this friend in the past and our families are good friends. He asked what we were doing and when I told him we were on a date has asked who with. I proceeded to tell him the names of the people we were with not thinking anything of it until later. It was actually nice timing because he called when we were having that odd moment when you get done doing vanilla activities and are not sure if the other couples wants to spice things up more. So during our conversations I told him exactly this and my bluntness lead to spicier moments.

How much do you tell your group of friends about others. We would not go into specific details about the night. But at the same time is it wrong to say yes I went out with this person and that we had a good time.

Do you admit to playing with people if specifically asked? Is it even right to ask?

We are very interested with everyones opinions on this topic. Thanks

[Elusive BiFem]

My personal opinion is that I would not tell anyone under any circumstances, and I would be royally upset to find out that play partners had told others about me.

In another thread - the one that catherine posted about the man and the condom...someone mentioned telling others about this man and even with my strong opinions about him and his lack of regard, I still don't think I would tell anyone anything about him.

- EBF

[curcpl_2004]

We dont say anything to anyone about our partners. We have mentioned a couple of instances here on the boad but never any names. That is just not cool at all.

[ALilOEverything]

We asked the couple we went out with up front. Since we were all looking for friendship as well we all agreed that it wasn't a problem talking about the vanilla side of our friendship. I wouldn't have a problem if they asked me if it's okay to mention the friendship, in fact this weekend I met their vanilla friends and we all went out together. If it was purely sex, no friendship, I wouldn't ask and I wouldn't tell. So in other words I would ask the other couple what they were okay with.

[Vespertine]

How much information do you usually share with others in the lifestlye about who you have been with?

I wouldn't give names but I would share the kinky sex scenes with my bestest vanilla friends (-IF- they didn't know the people, that is )!
I know my hubby would too!

We're PROUD to have an open & exciting relationship! In fact, just yesterday my husband was playing golf with an old friend of ours who was just recently married. As boys will do, they were discussing their sex lives. Our friend was saying that his wife was a little "unadventerous" and wondered since we have been together for so long now if we were at the point where we would feel comfortable using toys to spice up our sex life. Hubby replied...."We're at the point now where we use OTHER people's sex toys".

I would have loved to see our friend's reaction!

[Vespertine]

Erm, Upon looking at the above post I just realized I misinterpreted Joe Ang's question.

(Damn Newbies---They never pay attention! LOL *slaps self*)

If my husband and I started to frequent the club scene or a Meet and Greet or whatever.....& had some playdates we wouldn't let anyone else there know ANYTHING.

I thought the question was if we tell our vanilla friends about our lifestyle.

Can I take my foot out of my mouth now?

[Elusive BiFem]

Originally Posted by Vespertine

Can I take my foot out of my mouth now?

Nope. You've got to keep it in there for 24 hours. That's the rule.

Actually, when I read your comments and those from AlilO last night, I started to go back and amend my own in terms of the vanilla friends thing. Along that line, yes, I've talked to my vanilla friends about my play partners but only in the sense of the "we went out to dinner" type of thing. I would never reveal them as sexual partners.

I'm really picky about that sort of thing. Who knows why. For those that have read the board for any period of time, they know that WR and I are "bestest buds." However, I've told even her...if I'm playing with someone, not even she will ever know it. (Except she would because I wouldn't be here to answer the phone and if I tried to make up some excuse she'd say, "You're lying through your teeth! What's up?") Personally, I have a real issue with folks not showing the ultimate in discretion.

How many more hours do you have before you can take your foot out of your mouth, Vespertine? I have to start getting ready to insert mine.

- EBF

[wrnakedru]

Originally Posted by Elusive BiFem

My personal opinion is that I would not tell anyone under any circumstances, and I would be royally upset to find out that play partners had told others about me. - EBF

Dito And what they'd be telling would be history, as they definitely wouldn't be playmates any longer!

WR

[wrnakedru]

Originally Posted by Elusive BiFem

For those that have read the board for any period of time, they know that WR and I are "bestest buds." However, I've told even her...if I'm playing with someone, not even she will ever know it. (Except she would because I wouldn't be here to answer the phone and if I tried to make up some excuse she'd say, "You're lying through your teeth! What's up?") - EBF

And while I might be able to figure out the "what is up" part, I'd just have to live with not knowing the "who" part of it - as it should be.

WR

[BodyScape02]

This is an interesting question. While I agree on not talking to people about other people, especially concerning play details and gossiping is just something I hate, I do have another question of sorts.

Since the community is relatively small it’s inevitable that many of the friends we make and a lot of the people we meet all know each other to some degree after a while. Now, we often know someone is a friend of friends because either they have a certification on their internet ad from them or the other friends had mentioned them.

Is it OK to say, “hey we know you know so-and-so, we are friends of theirs too.” Not to discuss what goes on between them, just as a social conversation piece.

I find this so awkward sometimes. If it was “vanilla,” or whatever you want to call it, and I met people at a social function that I knew where friends of friends, I would have no problem with saying something nice like, “Hello, I understand you know John & Marsha, they have said great things about you two…blah-blah blah….” It’s a social way of meeting people and starting a conversation on common ground.

In the “swing world” I am so afraid of breaching any etiquette that even when I KNOW they are friends with people I know I never try to say anything about it all. What usually happens is someone else mentions it eventually. Usually, it’s someone else saying, “Hey! We know so-and-so too…yadda-yadda-yadda…”

At that point I may admit to knowing someone but since I felt so unsure to begin with the feeling of awkwardness is there…


So, what is OK to do?? Just to stress, I am NOT asking if it’s OK to talk about any sex or play… just acknowledging aquantences…

Regards,
~D

[HotCoupleGnS]

Personally I don't see anything wrong with saying that you know someone. Revealing that you have played with them would be a .

[Joe_Ang]

Thank you Bodyscape, I guess that is more my question. We all go to the same club and you see who is dancing with who so you know that you know eachother. In our situation, the guys that called had seen this couple sitting with us. Granted we just met them but they were introduced. So is it ok to mention names in this instance? I am such an open person that sometimes it is hard to judge what others would expect.

Ang

[wildchld97]

Our thoughts on this subject is that kiss and tell is a definite no-no. We had a wonderful time with a few couples during our week at Hedonism III. All of us were friends before the trip and hung out together during the trip, but none of us knew which couples hooked up with any of the other couples. We even kept the flirtatious innuendos to a minimum in order to keep others from guessing our little "secret." LOL

Privacy is important to us and we only play with those who have the same privacy concerns.

We dont kiss and tell if the people we are with are from the same area as anyone we have played with. If we do kiss & tell we use NO names.

We have given one of the single males we met on Swing Lifestyle permission to use us as a reference. Every once in a while we will get a message on Swing Lifestyle from someone who has been chatting with him & they want to know more about him from someone elses perspective. LIke, Is he real? Will he show up?, is he a one minute wonder?....Shit like that.

[BodyScape02]

Originally Posted by Mr&Mrs-naughty

We have given one of the single males we met on Swing Lifestyle permission to use us as a reference. Every once in a while we will get a message on Swing Lifestyle from someone who has been chatting with him & they want to know more about him from someone elses perspective. LIke, Is he real? Will he show up?, is he a one minute wonder?....Shit like that.

LOL.... we did the same for a really cool and respectful man and now he is busier than us! LOL