Finding Single Females

[JustAskJulie]

Originally posted by LIZA:

I would never DREAM of partipating in a gangbang or any situation where men were expected to have sex with me one after another...........I can understand where THAT would create some performance anxiety!

I was using the GB scenerio as only an example. I have seen men experience performance anxiety in all types of situations, both with experienced couples and newer couples, in groups as well as just with two couples in the room.

The one thing I have found that seems to help in many cases is getting to know the people you are with so that you are more comfortable with them. Yes, in many cases I do think it is that some of the guys are a bit homophobic and to be honest I think that is what the problem was in my GB scenerio.

As for the situations I would dream of and the situations you would dream of they are obviously different but it seems to me that you are judging other swingers on the concept that their attitudes towards swinging and what it does/can entail is different from yours.

It's not that there aren't a lot of couples seeking females or even males trying to get into the lifestyle. Personally, I have not problem with anyone seeking whatever they want to fulfill their fantasies and others as long as they are in it for the right reasons.
And no, a guy trying to get into the lifestyle just cuz he thinks he'll get an easy lay is not the right reasons.

But tell me? What is wrong with a couple/ female seeking another female to fulfill her husbands FMF threesome fantasy? And why do you assume that it's just because he wants to see the 2 girls together?

I think to be in this lifestyle you have to have an open mind and see that there are many sides to everything. Swinging is what you make of it and what you want it to be.

Julie http://www.swingersboard.com

[JustAskJulie]

Originally posted by CyberMWCouple:
A few observations:

Wow. As bad as that sounds, it sounds about right to me. From my own experience of myself and others, I have to say that experience does overcome 99% of that.

That's the main point I was trying to make.. I think I picked a bad example tho. But mainly that performance anxiety is normal especially in situations where the guys don't know who they are with very well or what to expect.. but that the main cause is not necessarily homophobia (although that may be part of it at times.

Not everyone wants to get that deep into things. Some of us do, and we hold many different and some wholly different understandings of this than you do. That's cool. That's why Julie created this website. A central location for us all to learn from each other.

Which all goes back to a saying we've seen on this board so many times.. different strokes for different folks.

Thanks Cyber!

[LIZA]

No, I am not judging you, merely stating my opinion. I would not want a gangbang, to me that's a total turn off. I WOULD like to see my husband try bi......will he? Maybe, he is a pretty uninhibited guy. I could see it happening in the right situation, but if not......No big deal. Unlike a lot of men who I talk to who push their wives to try Bi even if the wife is completely straight and disinterested.

As far as my being innocent..........I guess if you consider me innocent for not wanting to take unneccessary risks to engage in an activity that has always left me tepid anyway.....maybe I am "innocent" or maybe I am just wide enough to know what I enjoy and not feel like I have to give up every part of me in order to be accepted!

Like you said, different strokes.........but when I state MY boundaries, people don't seem to accepting, I get called a princess or a prude

[watcherone]

I can relate to what Liza is saying. I had always wanted to watch my wife with another man but I have no desire to be with another woman. Its not a matter of my wife or I wanting to be accepted by anyone though. It is about what we both enjoy and about having such a close relationship that allows us to be what we are. It would be terrible if we both wanted to do something but were unable to talk about it with each other. We are completely honest with our feelings and it has made us stronger.
It still bothers me that most men may have a problem performing with other men around. That is what gets me going, knowing another man is satisfying my wife while I watch or join in.

[LIZA]

MOST of you (other active posters) seem to be into very DIFFERENT things that what I find typical in my expereince, obviously if you are into gang bangs, you have a place in your life for single men! For me, there is nothing they can really do except maybe watch, that might be hot, and then maybe in the heat of the moment he would slip up behind my husband and reach down and cup his balls as I was giving him head, then we would seamlessly swith places, so my husbands cock was in his mouth and I was licking and biting his nipples..........and then............


Hahahaa! I can dream!

[JustAskJulie]

I think that when it comes down to it everyone in the lifestyle is into different things and has different guidelines set for themselves. We each enjoy different things and have different fantasies. Swinging is about sharing your fantasies with your mate and making them come true.

Whether your fantasy is to have sex with your partner while someone else watches or to have a gangbang with 15 guys, that's your fantasy. We each have our own experience of swinging based on those fantasies.

Julie http://www.swingersboard.com

Like hubby said, the world would be a boring place to live in, if we'd all be alike and have the same interests, etc.! Where's the fun in that?! *Rolling eyes lol*


Wife of CyberMWCouple

[CuriousCouple]

Well,

I would say that the whole issue has to do with why many people get started on this path, not necessarily homophobia at all.

Our case... My wife is bi, has been forever, but has never had a bi experience. She is VERY curious about it, and I would love to fulfill that fantasy for her. She also doesn't want to do anything without me ... so, the best answer was a FMF 3some. So, we had the M, and one of the Fs, where to find the other F? None of the people we knew or were friends with would do... we absolutely didn't want to resort to a prostitute ... we tried everything the internet had to offer, couldn't come up with anything. That's when we stumbled across the whole concept of swinging ... we realized this was probably the one way to get the fantasy fulfilled. It came with its own problems tho ... while we now knew how to get that extra F, an extra M came along with it. I had no interest in seeing another guy have sex with my wife, nor did she have an interest in doing it. The more we've looked into it, tho, the more it's becoming obvious that there's no real choice there ... that's the way it'll have to be. SO, that's where we're at right now ... currently we're still in the 'thinking about it' stage ... we think we will probably act on it in 3 to 4 months. Or not. Maybe. It seems there's a LOT of landmines in this lifestyle ... both health issues and our personal relationship issues, and we're gonna have to do a LOT of talking to iron all that out.

We're going to try to approach this (if we ultimately do it) as actually getting into the swinging lifestyle, not as just as a vehicle for getting what we want out of it, which means we really couldn't expect for someone to go off with us without their partner ... I wouldn't want my wife doing that after all ...

BUT, on the other hand ........

If some single or married but willing to play seperately girl would come forward to let us fulfill our fantasies without althe complicating issues, we would LOVE that

So ... that's one couple's viewpoint on why single girls are in such demand ... nothing to do with homophobia, it has everything to do with why we get involved in the first place and what fantasies we want to have fulfilled.

me -n- her

[MiCpl]

For us it is totally about fulfilling fantasies. We've had many encounters with single guys and we love it. We would love to have some fun with a single girl and the two of us. Why can't it go both ways? Unfortunately, the single females are hard to find. At the same time we are open to couples and to single males, we don't close off any avenues of fun. But we don't go asking couples to send over their female half and leave the man at home either. We find it rude when couples ask that of us and wouldn't think to ask another couple to split up just so we can have our fantasy.

S&J