So please tell me how many of you have found single bi females

[Vespertine]

Our first experience was with a single bi-female.

She found us.

[poster_guy03]

I've found them to be a wonderful experience!!

[Deptydog]

We met a single female about 12 years ago, but she was more interested in Mrs. DD than with us as a couple.

More recently, we have a single female with whom we have played who we met as half of a married couple. Now, he's gone, and she's single again, and we still play with her. He turned out to be a total jerk. :slam"

[MarriedNY'ers69]

Originally Posted by Dave_kat

We've picked up 8 or 9 over the last 6 years. None of them we've met online. All were at a local gay club where the girls got to know Dave by seeing him around and how he handled himself.

Even in the lesbian crowd though, bisexual women are rare. They seem to be chastized by full lesbians. They are out there.

Our advise? Find a place that is lifestyle friendly (gay clubs are good about couples, as long as it's not predatory), and let the people get to know you. You'll meet a lot, and prolly find several who will enjoy both of ya'll.

And for the guys out there, once you get known in the clubs, the gay men will leave you alone (as far as getting hit on), once you're known and don't overreact (from Dave).

WOW thanks Dave I have been so shy in doing the real life thing. I guess this internet is a great exscape from the real world but it also handicaps you. It's like a cruch KWIM. Plus we don't have alot of play time so it's a great tool to have a few dates set. I am not fimilar with gay clubs. I think there maybe one in ithaca New York pretty close to where we are. But I am not sure now that I have the guts I don't remember the name of it. But thanks for the tip. I will have to see if any of my friends can think of the name.

[Dynamar]

As hard as all you couples think it is to find a true SBiF, believe you me, it's just as hard for a sane SBiF to find a geographically-compatible-to-me couple where both halves have a personality, are attractive to me and who have a solid no-jealousy, truly ready for swinging relationship.

Not to mention...

Originally Posted by fun_pairTX

a lot of them are jaded because they seem to be the holy grail for all the newbies who haven't figured out that a SBF is a hundred times harder to find than a couple with a bi-female

Newbies? Ummm... no thanks, because they have no track record to show me they are non-jealous, non-drama, and truly ready for swinging. Any smart SBiF is not going to stand for being a newbie couple's training wheels... the propensity for drama is just too great.

[MarriedNY'ers69]

Originally Posted by Dynamar

As hard as all you couples think it is to find a true SBiF, believe you me, it's just as hard for a sane SBiF to find a geographically-compatible-to-me couple where both halves have a personality, are attractive to me and who have a solid no-jealousy, truly ready for swinging relationship.

Not to mention...

Newbies? Ummm... no thanks, because they have no track record to show me they are non-jealous, non-drama, and truly ready for swinging. Any smart SBiF is not going to stand for being a newbie couple's training wheels... the propensity for drama is just too great.

Oh thanks for giving it to me from a SBF side hun. I sometimes wish I was single still LOL so I could have an easier time of it. But I guess the grass isn't always greener on the other side huh? Yeah I can see how it's hard to find no jealousy. Trust me I am dealing with that now with a couple. If I knew then what I know now. Oh well live and learn right!

[fun_pairTX]

Originally Posted by Dynamar

Newbies? Ummm... no thanks, because they have no track record to show me they are non-jealous, non-drama, and truly ready for swinging. Any smart SBiF is not going to stand for being a newbie couple's training wheels... the propensity for drama is just too great.

We are with you there Dynamar, we met with ONE newbie couple in 4 years of the lifestyle despite our mutual vow not to. Well disaster prevailed, they both had too much alcohol, followed by high drama. We swore never again.

[VanHlebar]

Originally Posted by Dynamar

Not to mention...

Newbies? Ummm... no thanks, because they have no track record to show me they are non-jealous, non-drama, and truly ready for swinging. Any smart SBiF is not going to stand for being a newbie couple's training wheels... the propensity for drama is just too great.

and

Originally Posted by fun_pairTX

We are with you there Dynamar, we met with ONE newbie couple in 4 years of the lifestyle despite our mutual vow not to. Well disaster prevailed, they both had too much alcohol, followed by high drama. We swore never again.

I think these statements are a bit off. Maybe in your experience you have had some issues, but we all were newbies at some point. If nobody took any chances on newbies, how would any of us get into the Lifestyle? MrsVan and I are extremely new to the LifeStyle, but I can assure you that there are no issues with drama or jealousy in our relationship. If everyone took this stance with us, how would we ever get to have any play dates? I think that you can run into issues like this no matter what. Yes I understand that newbies might still be working out some issues in some cases, but not all of us are.

We met up with a very nice SBif last night for dinner. Everything went fantastic at dinner and MrsVan and I hope that we can have another date for an actual play date. She knows about our experience or lack there of and it has not been an issue at this point.

-Van

[NtyKittensMan]

We had found one. Had several dates with her. But had that time of month happening with the wife one date and other date it was the SBif. Went to make a third date and found out she had gotten a boyfriend the week before and no longer plays....

Maybe one day we will find another.....LOL

[northindycpl]

They are there. I know several.

I think Dynamar is EXACTLY right. If you put yourselves out there in a positive way, good ones will find you.

It is much more intimidating for a single to be with a couple then the opposite.

[Dynamar]

Originally Posted by MarriedNY'ers69

Trust me I am dealing with that now with a couple.

Bingo! You proved my point.

Originally Posted by VanHlebar

I think these statements are a bit off. ... MrsVan and I are extremely new to the LifeStyle, but I can assure you that there are no issues with drama or jealousy in our relationship. If everyone took this stance with us, how would we ever get to have any play dates? I think that you can run into issues like this no matter what.

When I was brand new to the lifestyle, I had the comment more than once that I didn't seem like a newbie. I attribute that to the fact that I'd done my due diligence (including lots of reading here, and elsewhere) and was mentally ready for the new experiences that swinging would afford me.

Oh, but for couples who would do the same! Too many just jump right in, not knowing between each other what they want out of swinging, let alone how to convey those thoughts to me. Realistically, if I met a couple who was totally new, but who projected the same kind of confidence and direction that I knew I possessed as a newbie, would I decline to play with them based only on the fact that they were new?... Absolutely not. As always, it's the whole package, and not just one bit of information would ever drive my decision.

As most people are wont to do, I was speaking in a generality. Any specific experience might be the exception that makes the rule. But I stand by my original post... in my experience, most new couples, most of the time... do not have a clear picture of why they want to swing, and as such, bring entirely too much drama to the table.

[XMonkey]

We've been swinging for a year, and last Sat night for the very first time we had a single bi-fem over for dinner and a great night.

And then on Wed afternoon (it was a public hol here) I went to her place (with mrsX approval).

Still can't get the smile off my face!

[WesternSwing]

We have found four single females in the two years we've been swinging, or should I say they have found us. Everytime has been in person though, like at a meet-and-greet, a party, or one time at a popular vanilla club. She was sitting at the table next to us and started talking and before we knew it she had moved her chair to our table.

We have never actually seen one online that we've contacted, or has contacted us, and then later met, though.

Mr. WS

[VanHlebar]

Originally Posted by Dynamar

When I was brand new to the lifestyle, I had the comment more than once that I didn't seem like a newbie. I attribute that to the fact that I'd done my due diligence (including lots of reading here, and elsewhere) and was mentally ready for the new experiences that swinging would afford me.

Oh, but for couples who would do the same! Too many just jump right in, not knowing between each other what they want out of swinging, let alone how to convey those thoughts to me. Realistically, if I met a couple who was totally new, but who projected the same kind of confidence and direction that I knew I possessed as a newbie, would I decline to play with them based only on the fact that they were new?... Absolutely not. As always, it's the whole package, and not just one bit of information would ever drive my decision.

As most people are wont to do, I was speaking in a generality. Any specific experience might be the exception that makes the rule. But I stand by my original post... in my experience, most new couples, most of the time... do not have a clear picture of why they want to swing, and as such, bring entirely too much drama to the table.

Dynamar,

I agree with most of what you are saying and I guess I was just pretty tired this morning. Even as "newbies" we have run into single men and a few couple already that we could just tell via email or chat that they just had too much baggage that we didn't want. We have had a few comments to us from the few couples/singles that we have met with that have been along the lines that they were surprised we have such little experience. I belive that as long as you can convey to the other couple or person what you are looking for and want then you will do better.

-Van

[stoutgatte]

Originally Posted by Vespertine

Our first experience was with a single bi-female.

She found us.

That's just unfair... Tsk tsk... Can't you send her over to "find" us please?