Is drinking a universal taboo?

[leftcoastcouple]

My wife and I feel greatly indebted to Julie and all of you for all of the first-hand knowledge we've gained on this site. Thank you, seriously.

Here's a question we've not seen asked directly has been on my and my wife's mind as we get ever-so-close to getting back into swinging (Can you see my thumb and index finger all of 1/2 an inch apart?).

We both like to drink on nights when we get naughty. Before anyone jumps to conclusions, we're not alcoholics or anything. But when we want to get a little wild--alone, in public, with others, whatever--we generally enjoy using alcohol, generally to the point of getting a little silly.

We don't do it to get over inhibitions, per se, we just find that we are more easily able to do what we "want" to do when we've had a few drinks. And risks of morning-after regrets aside, we find that it adds to the experience on some levels.

Among many examples: A few months back, we were vacationing and drinking in a bar, and my wife had great fun lifting her dress so that the tablefull of college guys across from us could clearly see that she was not wearing panties. For a while, I thought we'd end up inviting them back to our hotel room, as she lifted her leg and gave them some great views. But on that night, she got got cold feet and enjoyed the flashing for its own sake. Still, she was so worked up that we went at it like rabbits when we got back to our room.

Conventional wisdom we've seen espoused here and elsewhere is not to drink when you play. But are we alone in enjoying when the two are mixed? My wife in particular finds that alcohol REALLY enhances her sexual experience (She's a maniac after she's had a few, and much more reserved when she hasn't.), and we're curious whether other couples will be turned off by the desire to have a few before playing.

Not to claim "double standard," but we see "420" on plenty of ads (as has been discussed recently), and the fact is, pot always made us sleepy and unhorny, whereas drinking gets us wild.

Thanks in advance for your responses.

[biblonde]

We have some couples that we drink with before hand...It help relax everyone and well when i drink i get real friskey!! We usually dont mind if it isnt to the extent of way drunk and out of control. And we dont want to do that every time we play with someone. Sober is always better.

my 2 cents for the day!

[Elusive BiFem]

I don't think "some" drinking is such a universal taboo, leftcoastcouople, as much as it is a "fear" factor. Fear in the sense that some people might be concerned that ya'll would have regrets the next day...in other words, would you be willing participants without benefit of alcohol...that sorta thing. Basically, that's my take on it. I'd never want anyone to play with me "because" of the loss of inhibitions brought about by alcohol intake. Nor would I want to play with them if they were under the influence and I didn't know for certain they would feel the same way if they were stone cold sober. Does that make sense? Doesn't seem to when I read back over it.

Nothing wrong with a drink or two to sort of loosen up...but sloppy drunk? Not my cup of tea. I don't like to be around sloppy drunk people and will usually remove myself from that environment pronto. But I don't think that is what you are referring to.

My suggestion...meet people without benefit of alcohol on board and see how you like them and how they like you. Then, when you decide to play, everyone knows this is a decision made without benefit of alcohol. In a club situation? I don't know...would assume there is some dinking going on, but still, I would tend to limit it to just one or two drinks. (This coming from a woman that can get loopy off of 1/2 can of beer!)

- EBF

[DandS]

I would have to agree with what has already been said. We usually have a couple of drinks to loosen up and relax, socialize, etc. but are not interested in getting drunk or being with others who are sloppy drunk.

We've met a some couples at the club we go to where it appears they dont go off to a room or go play until they (usually the female 1/2 of the couple) are totally drunk and we have often wondered...if you have to get completely drunk to do something you probably shouldn't be doing it.....and are you really having any fun?

We are drinkers.

We like to have a few and then maybe a few more.

Most people will say it takes away from the experience. I am not a believer in this idea.

Going out till we close the bar, then top the night off with hot sex.

My idea of heaven.

Most will disagree but thats cool with me.

[leftcoastcouple]

Thanks for the responses, as always.

We certainly didn't mean "sloppy drunk"--that's no fun for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is the potential for morning-after regrets. Rather, we enjoy a few to relax and let the ID come through, that's all.

We'd sensed what we took to be an anti-drinking philosophy here and on other sites, and we weren't sure to what degree drinking was or was not generally tolerated. Glad to hear it's not all teetotalers. Thanks!

[BradAndJanet]

A drink or two is good for calming the 'ol nerves in social situations, and we don't see a problem with that at all, so long as it doesn't get to the 'falling down drunk' stage.

A glass of wine does help put J in the mood, and we've never experienced any 'morning after' regrets over it.

-B

[Brit_Pair]

I can't imagine either of us playing without at least one drink inside us. It takes the edge off the nerves, and enables us to relax into the meeting. And while I respect the choice of those who abstain from alcohol completely, and wouldn't want to involve myself with swingers who were perpetual piss-heads, the truth is that I am - and probably always will be - slightly suspicious of teetotallers. We seem to prefer people of moderation, rather than of extreme . . . either extreme.

As for drink being a universal taboo . . . I'd have thought that recreational drugs of the cannabis / cocaine / speed / LSD / ecstasy variety were in more danger of being hit with that particular label. After all, they're illegal in most every place, whereas alcohol is verboten in comparatively few.

[LikeMinds321]

Our attitude is that we never want to drink in order to persuade ourselves to do something we would never feel comfortable doing if we hadn't drank. That's our basic rule.

Having enough alcohol to get relaxed, "calm the nerves," can be a real help.

If I see sloshed people behaving badly it's a real turn-off.

Good judgement must prevail. It's not how much you drink, but how you handle yourself.

LM

[leftcoastcouple]

Originally posted by Brit_Pair
As for drink being a universal taboo . . . I'd have thought that recreational drugs of the cannabis / cocaine / speed / LSD / ecstasy variety were in more danger of being hit with that particular label. After all, they're illegal in most every place, whereas alcohol is verboten in comparatively few.

Your point is well-taken, Brit_Pair, because our initial one was apparently unclear.

By saying "universal taboo," we meant within swinging. We've seen reference after reference, particularly on other sites, suggesting that drinking before playing is frowned upon.

Judging from all the helpful posts, we now realize that drinking to EXCESS is generally frowned upon, while having one or two to take the edge off the nerves (which was our point) is not.

Thanks again for all the responses.

[fun_pairTX]

Drinking taboo? Never, as long as you can handle it. Mrs Fun has no problem handling it, I however do. Consequently she does the drinking for us both LOL. I hit the wagon nearly 15 years ago.

It's like Robert Downey Jr. said last week, "I'm allergic to alcohol and drugs. Whenever I get around them I break out in handcuffs."

[Brit_Pair]

Originally posted by leftcoastcouple
Your point is well-taken, Brit_Pair, because our initial one was apparently unclear.

By saying "universal taboo," we meant within swinging. We've seen reference after reference, particularly on other sites, suggesting that drinking before playing is frowned upon.

And I was commenting on the 'universal taboo' angle from a swinging perspective. From what you've now said, there's something of a difference between US and UK contact sites, since none of the adverts on the UK sites I've experienced have made any reference to alcohol being some sort of a stumbling block. Far more common are references to smoking: people either seem to be non-smokers and only willing to play with people who don't taste like ashtrays, or they're smokers who aren't interested in meeting members of the anti-smoking brigade. It seems to be generally accepted over here that social drinking (i.e. a few glasses of wine prior to any encounter) is par for the course, while (as you've deduced yourselves) drinking until you throw up over the hosts' brand new Persian rug is not particularly welcome.

[leftcoastcouple]

Originally posted by fun_pairTX
It's like Robert Downey Jr. said last week, "I'm allergic to alcohol and drugs. Whenever I get around them I break out in handcuffs."

Thanks, fun_pairTX. I needed a good laugh this afternoon.

[fun_pairTX]

You are very welcome leftcoastcpl. People do need to laugh and smile more than they get a chance to do. Maybe I should start looking upon being somewhat of a wiseass as a form of public service. Hmmmm.................

[HotCoupleGnS]

I totally agree with you Mr&Mrs-naughty! We feel the same way. What a great end to a great night huh?