recovering alcoholics

[reed&diana]

It seems that alcohol is such part of this lifestyle. How do you deal with the clubs and parties. Any problems?

[VegasLee]

I quit drinking in Feb. 1980.

The day I quit drinking I went to the same bar that I had gone to for years to party with my friends. I drank 7-up. Twenty Six years later I still do the same thing. Party with 100's of people that drink but now I drink Diet Coke.

At the Lifestyles Convention I even tend bar for four nights, Naked! Drinking Diet Coke the whole time.

As the commercial says. "Just do it!"

[sexyshelby]

Most in the lifestyle are pretty respectful. There is an underlying rule for most people that NO means NO. I would assume (and hope) that this would apply to your choice of beverage as well as sex.

If, however, you are uncomfortable in a bar environment, you may have more of a problem. But like Lee said, "Just do it" You can overcome whatever obstacles may arise if you put your mind to it.

~SS

[Happypair]

Lee nailed it, as he usually does. Lifestyle world... vanilla world... it really doesn't make any difference, the temptations will be there, and it's up to us to deal with them. The lifestyle world can be a bit drama-filled, but so is life in general. Try to separate the two -- your recovery from the lifestyle -- as they really have nothing to do with one another. And if you do find stresses "piling up" and have to put one or the other on hold, then please, please, remember which has to come first. Swinging is life enhancement, your recovery is your life! And yes, I'm a friend (1978) of Bill W's too.

[vanelane]

Hi, I'm Diana, and I'm an alcoholic. Hubby and I are just now exploring beginning to swing, but I'll handle it the same way I handle regular social situations. No, thank you. I have a friend who always says, "No thanks, I've had enough," which is really funny to me and so true!

[fun_pairTX]

Hi, this is Mr Fun. I have been sober for 18 years. Lee has it nailed, I am a musician and am in a party atmosphere constantly. I just drink my ginger ale and do my thing. People in the lifestyle readily accept others that "differ" from the norm. After all we ALL differ from the norm just by being in the lifestyle. It is just one more kink.

[FlaPlaya561]

I dont drink at all anymore ..i like to experience this lifestyle in the straight eye, since it times to remember

[reed&diana]

Thanks for the replies. My wife is in rehab right now (her choice) and she is worried about the clubs and parties. I'm sure that it is a case of not knowing what is in the future. She is worried about how she is going to handle things but I'm sure that they will teach her what to do.

[cowboynlady]

Hi, Lady here. My husband is an alcoholic and has been sober for 13 years, so I know some about this. (Not anything like if I were in his shoes.) The "Swingers Clubs" are no different then any club that has alcohol. If she has fears of being able to handle it, maybe wait until she feels strong. We go to clubs and stay totally sober. We find that we are ready to get things going early on, and others that are drinking have to wait until they get a buzz on to move things along. It sometimes makes us wonder if the alcohol gives helps them do it. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that is the case for everyone. I drink on rare occasions and like the different feeling I get and have to admit sometimes it makes me wilder. But you could probably find swingers to hook up with that don't drink around her so she feels more comfortable.

[vanelane]

Originally Posted by reed&diana

Thanks for the replies. My wife is in rehab right now (her choice) and she is worried about the clubs and parties. I'm sure that it is a case of not knowing what is in the future. She is worried about how she is going to handle things but I'm sure that they will teach her what to do.

I've been to rehab; believe me, she's worrying about all kinds of things right now which will fall into place as her recovery progresses. That is a very scary time, but so worth it. I actually go back and visit my rehab once or twice a year for a recharge.

[ItTakes3]

I quit drinking in 1976 and never had a problem turning down booze, nor did I have a problem with people trying to get me off the wagon.

I did discover that some of my friends were nothing more than drinking buddies, so I just found some new friends whose lives did not revolve around alcohol.

[reed&diana]

Thanks for the replies. I showed them to her and it made her feel better. She has been in a week and she is feeling real positive. It is a scary time, We are very optimistic.

[in4alook]

Just be careful you aren't just switching addictions.

[reed&diana]

Switching addictions????

[in4alook]

Originally Posted by reed&diana

Switching addictions????

People that have addictions sometimes switch to another addiction when quitting the first one. If you start becoming sexually addicted you really aren't sober technically speaking, according to an addiction specialist I listen to on the radio. You have just switched from booze to sex. Heck of a lot better for you unless you start going bonkers with it. If you are new to this I would suggest putting some time between your wife's rehab and starting up with the lifestyle. If you have been in the lifestyle for awhile just be careful not to go overboard with it.