A Night full of Immature Couples & Drama

[SexyDeuce]

My wife and I went to a swinger’s party this past weekend, and we ran into a few uncomfortable situations that I wanted to discuss with this forum. Forgive me if I ramble.

A little background on us: We’re a thirty-something couple, both pretty attractive, we had been to two other swinger’s parties before this one, so we’re not completely inexperienced, but still new and working through our own communications issues as they come up. And we were the newbies at this particular party.

We’re also up for full swap, and are both very straight. My wife is adamant that she has no bi-sexual desires whatsoever. And it’s not for a lack of trying to get her to go there on my part! She’s made that very clear that the idea is not only unappealing to her, but repulsive. And I’ve respected that because I feel the same way about MM bisexual situations.

Okay, so we’re at the party in the hot tub with a group of others, and there was one particular couple we were interested in. And they were obviously interested in us as well. They were younger than us, and my wife found the husband attractive. He was quiet and reserved which made him even more appealing to my wife.

But the female of the other couple was very bi-sexual and pushy. She was trying to convince my wife to kiss, have oral sex, etc. and my wife was pleasantly rejecting her and told her a few times that she was not interested because she’s straight.

After a short while of this behavior it became rather annoying to me, because I know my wife better than anyone and knew she wouldn’t easily be able to deter this woman’s advances, and would possibly get talked into things she would likely regret. And then I of course would have to deal with the aftermath later. For instance, the woman eventually convinced my wife to kiss, but of course it was because she had had a good deal to drink.

So, finally the woman looks at me and says “OKAY! WE (indicating her and her husband) are up for ANYTHING with you two EXCEPT me fucking YOU” and gesturing to me, indicating that anything goes except for her and I to have intercourse.

So at this point I was pretty annoyed. I felt like this woman was really trying to pressure us into a situation where she could make her unwanted advances towards my wife.

Wanting to avoid this drama, I looked at her and replied “No. Sorry. We are both very straight and a FULL swap couple!”

She got this puzzled look on her face like I had just thrown a physics equation at her or something! She said “I don’t understand …”

and I repeated “What don’t you understand? We are BOTH straight and FULL SWAP!” and then it seemed to click as I could tell by the look on her face, that she wasn’t getting her way. She immediately went into pouting mode, took her husband from the hot tub and left (like kids on the playground, “I’m taking my ball and going home”)…

Anyway, the story gets better, but this initial post is long enough for now I think … Comments please.

[telly2]

You did the correct thing, no one can tell you what to do, if your wife is not interested that that is it, game over, and that should have been fine. But the little girl who wanted to play was behaving like a spoiled brat, and her hubby must be a welcome mat to her desires to not say anything to her.

Great for sticking to your guns and not letting your wife get involved in something that you knew she wouldn't want, even though deep in you, you would love to see it, cuddos

ok now the rest of the story pls.

[havefuninsun]

Good for you. Nothing is worse than getting into a situation that is a compromise from what you want. We've been in one play situation that at the end of the night, Mr. Fun and the other Mrs. didn't have sex (we played every other way) ... he was disappointed, I was very disappointed for him, and when I chatted with the other Mr. later, he said that she didn't want that date to be a play date from the beginning. Wish we had KNOWN that ... then we felt bad thinking she was regretting what had happened ...

Long winded way of saying, you did good.

[Chicup]

Hehe young couple, quiet male, overly bi furious female, no full swap, yea welcome to young swingers 2006.

This is VERY common, very annoying, and very typical.

This sort of thing has been posted in some other recent threads, its such an issue with our age group here (30's) that we have taken a break from looking for new couples. Full swap couples that appeal to us seem few and far between.

[LikeMinds321]

Yes, you did the right thing by making your play preferences known, and letting this couple know you weren't a match.

There is something you mentioned in your post:

We’re also up for full swap, and are both very straight. My wife is adamant that she has no bi-sexual desires whatsoever. And it’s not for a lack of trying to get her to go there on my part! She’s made that very clear that the idea is not only unappealing to her, but repulsive.

This is were I would focus discussion between the two of you, since you later say you're afraid of what your wife might do with a few drinks in her, that she may even try some bisexual play.

You will soon find it becomes a problem between you and your wife if you feel you have to be the watch dog every time you are out among swingers. You shouldn't have to be the one to monitor everything and state the rules, she also needs to take on this responsibility as well. If alcohol gets in the way of her making good decisions, nix the drinking.

I'm eager to hear more about what transpired during the hot tub party. Let us know.

LM

[Sweet_Candy]

Originally Posted by SexyDeuce

Wanting to avoid this drama, I looked at her and replied “No. Sorry. We are both very straight and a FULL swap couple!”

She got this puzzled look on her face like I had just thrown a physics equation at her or something! She said “I don’t understand …”

and I repeated “What don’t you understand? We are BOTH straight and FULL SWAP!” and then it seemed to click as I could tell by the look on her face, that she wasn’t getting her way. She immediately went into pouting mode, took her husband from the hot tub and left (like kids on the playground, “I’m taking my ball and going home”)…

Welcome to our world. Be prepared for more situations like this to arise.

More of the story please.

[VanHlebar]

Yea I would love to hear more of the story. While Mrs Van and I have not yet run into a situation like this, we have heard far to many. You did the right thing by staying away.

Not to divert too far of the beaten path, but do you most people think this has more todo with the Husband/BF being too jealous to let his wife/GF be with another man? Again, we have been so lucky with our encounters, but we have run into one situation where the wife is allowed to play with the ladies or guys, but the husband is not. From all the we can tell with this particular couple the wife has major drama issues when the husband does anything with any other ladies. Kind of in reverse of what I typically think happens.

Anyways....back to the original story...

[LFM2]

I have to echo what everyone else said. I agree that drinking can make things a bit more "loose" which is why a lot of couples, us included, don't drink before we play.

The last part did make me chuckle, I'm glad you didn't let them talk you into something that you might have regretted later. The younger gal sounded like a little spoiled princess. I'd really like to know the rest of the story!

[SexyDeuce]

Okay, so after the hot tub incident we met another couple. They were a bit older (40 something) and not as physically appealing to us as the younger couple we’d just sent packing. But they weren’t too pushy and seemed like nice people.

We were still in the hot tub at the time, all talking and getting to know each other better. My wife had to go to the ladies room, so off she went.

Almost immediately after she left, the female of the other couple hopped into my lap! It caught me off guard, but I admit I was pleasantly surprised at the moment. It was nice be flirted with in that fashion.

But seconds later I came to my senses and remembered my wife was absent. No longer feeling comfortable with this nude woman in my lap and my wife unaware of what was unfolding, I told the woman this might not be a good idea right now. She understood and returned to her corner of the hot tub just as my wife returned!

I told my wife what had happened and we sort of all laughed about it. My wife didn’t seem to have had a problem with it at the time … so things gradually progressed from there.

After a little bit of more time had passed, chatting, flirting, etc. we all decided to get out of the tub, get another drink, and eventually made our way back to the semi-private lounge area, dimly lit and equipped with beds for action and couches/chairs for the voyeurs. We were all draped in towels only and made our way to some chairs where we sat as a group enjoying the shows.

More time passed, and my wife had to again visit the ladies room. And again, the moment she left the scene, the other woman made her move. Almost immediately she was kneeled in front of me with my c*ck in her mouth!

First thought: “Damn! Ecstasy” Second thought: “Umm, where’s my wife?” Third thought: “Again, not a good idea” and once again I put on the brakes. This whole incident lasted less than a minute.

Now, remember the first hot tub couple we sent packing? Get this …

As my wife is coming out of the bathroom she just so happens to bump into the male half of that couple. Nonchalantly he says “Wow! Your husband sure is having a good time isn’t he?” to which my wife replies “Really? Why do you think so?” and he of course says “Because I just saw him getting a blowjob in the lounge area!”

When my wife later told me this I was livid! That couple was obviously watching us and looking for some angle to cause problems or perhaps convince my wife to maybe get back at me for what took place by going off with them! I just thought this was unbelievable …

Fortunately for me, I have a pretty understanding wife. Her response to the guy was “Well I better get back in there before I miss the show!” and she left him standing there with his proverbial d*ck in his hand. She later old me that she was also pissed at the time, but after hearing my side she understood and it wasn’t a big deal.

Yet more to this evening, but I’m getting carpel tunnel now …

[rpu3]

Damn, there's more? My goodness, it sounds like a pretty full evening already...

Rebecca
Waiting for the "rest of the story"...

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by SexyDeuce

More time passed, and my wife had to again visit the ladies room. And again, the moment she left the scene, the other woman made her move. Almost immediately she was kneeled in front of me with my c*ck in her mouth!

First thought: “Damn! Ecstasy” Second thought: “Umm, where’s my wife?” Third thought: “Again, not a good idea” and once again I put on the brakes. This whole incident lasted less than a minute.

This woman either didn't get your point the first time, or she is trying to ignore it and 'push' her agenda. It would appear that she doesn't want to make the sexual moves in front of your wife. I think this is bad manners, and I'd have a hard time liking her if she tried that twice with my husband while I was out of sight.

This second couple may be older and more experienced, but sometimes that can mean they have more subtle ways of getting only what they want and not being considerate of other's guidelines. Watch out for these types.


As far at the first couple and his remarks to your wife about you getting a BJ, should you ever come across people who like to rile you, don't let them get to you - at least don't show it. Riling you is just what they want. You will also look more appealing to other swingers in the room if you handle yourself calmly. If a situation occurs that you and your wife need to discuss immediately, go to a private room, or outside where you have the privacy to express your anger or frustration and come to a mutual decision on how to handle things. Your wife did a good job of replying to that guy. Good for her.

LM

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by SexyDeuce

1. My wife is adamant that she has no bi-sexual desires whatsoever. She’s made that very clear that the idea is not only unappealing to her, but repulsive.

2. But the female of the other couple was very bi-sexual and pushy. She was trying to convince my wife to kiss, have oral sex, etc. and my wife was pleasantly rejecting her and told her a few times that she was not interested because she’s straight. After a short while of this behavior it became rather annoying to me, because I know my wife better than anyone and knew she wouldn’t easily be able to deter this woman’s advances, and would possibly get talked into things she would likely regret. And then I of course would have to deal with the aftermath later. For instance, the woman eventually convinced my wife to kiss, but of course it was because she had had a good deal to drink.

3. Wanting to avoid this drama, I looked at her and replied “No. Sorry. We are both very straight and a FULL swap couple!” She got this puzzled look on her face like I had just thrown a physics equation at her or something! She said “I don’t understand …” and I repeated “What don’t you understand? We are BOTH straight and FULL SWAP!” and then it seemed to click as I could tell by the look on her face, that she wasn’t getting her way.

… Comments please.

With you, your wife is very clear and adamant that she's not bi and wants no part of that, and it repulses her. She had to have been much less than clear with this woman in the hottub, or the woman couldn't have gotten her kissing her. Perhaps your wife with her gentle objections was also giving off mixed signals, because she'd had a lot to drink and because clearly she wanted the other woman's husband? Maybe the other wife thought your wife really wanted it but was just playing kind of coy and wanted to be pursued (this actually happens a LOT, coy women in swinging with mixed signals).

Your wife is going to have to take responsibility and own up to being CLEAR with people that she wants no part of bi play. That is, unless perhaps she really does, since she did after all let the woman kiss her and didn't seem to be fussing much...it was you that had to step up and "break it up" on behalf of your wife. That's her job to ward off the other women.

Yes, Couple #1 were jerks, especially the pouting, but I think it's very possible that you two as a couple may have been giving mixed signals up to the point that you finally told them bluntly/clearly that you're both STRAIGHT and it's only going to be FULL swap. That conversation would have been much better a lot sooner. You can say things nicely, but still be very clear with people and straightforward. Don't fear that you'll seem rude if you spell it all out up front. It's for the best.

Then, you two went on drinking more and met Couple #2. Couple #2, with the wife who jumped on you whenever your wife stepped away, she may have been receiving somewhat mixed signals, too. Again, be really CLEAR the moment she made her first move, and just spell it out: "We play only when we're in the same room", and "Let's wait for my wife to get back." Also, maybe this couple had been drinking a lot like you had, and were somewhat impaired. The more you move away from sober at these functions, the more room there is for people to be fuzzy about what you're trying to convey. So, I'd advise...
(1) Drink a little if you want, but stay sober at these parties and
(2) say really, really clearly what you mean and what you want...early on.

Hugs!

[havefuninsun]

these are the kinds of stories that make me NEVER to want to go to these types of parties ... I hope part 3 of the story is better ... (and the "characters" better behaved...)

[telly2]

i feel like i am watching a soap, pls don't leave us hanging. it feels like a friday episode lol pls more

[ShellyM]

Well, first of all I think you were too nice. I understand that you did not want to be rude, but this woman OBVIOUSLY could not take a hint at all. I feel she was indeed trying to push herself on you........I think perhaps she just assumed your wife was at least bi-curious since so many women in the lifestyle are. How would I have handled it? I would have pulled her to the side (no sense in embarassing her in front of everyone, tact is always in order) and told her straight out "HEY girl, I am NOT bi-curious or bi-sexual. Please back off. That would have made your point very succinctly. Sometimes you have to be firm with things like that.