Should we give these people another chance?

JandCMI · 01-15-2006, 12:26 AM

There is a couple that we have known for several months, have gotten along with well (except for one incident described below), hooked up with several times and generally are happy to know. When we hook up with these people the sessions usually last for several hours and are quite compatible sexually.

The problems are as follows:

We had an incident with them during the summer that made C and I both quite uncomfortable. We were hanging out with them in a vanilla situation in public when the other girl got really liquored up and became verbally abusive with a service employee who was taking care of us. When her guy checked her and I agreed with him (trust me, her behavior was THAT bad), she got all silent and sort of spoiled the day after that with her attitude.

After we went our separate ways and some time passed we decided to just let it go figuring it wasn't such a big deal. We hadn't hooked up with them since then anyways due to busy schedules until last week...

She calls me last weekend asking what we were doing that Saturday and wondering if we wanted to hook up (like you even need to ask us that!). We agreed they would come over to our place at 5 the next day. The next day rolls around at 5, no sign of them. 6 oclock, no sign of them either. I called the other guy's phone (C and I have sort of decided at this point that he is the one with his head screwed on straight) and he tells me that his girl was giving him "some bullshit" and he took off to go hang with his buddy for a while. Apparently they got into a fight over some minor nonsense. I asked, "So I guess we aren't on tonight then?" to which he told me he thought his girl was supposed to call us - which she didn't. I called her and got her voicemail. By this point it was already 6:30 so C and I just said "fuck it" and went about our evening without them.

I got a call from the other girl at about 7:30 that I let voice mail pick up saying her man just got home and was showered and to call them if we weren't busy. We didn't call back. In short, they were supposed to come at 5 but didn't so much as call to even let us know they weren't going to make it. When I called her to find out what was going on, she couldn't even answer the call. Rude, rude, rude. This coupled with the incident this summer really makes us wonder if we should even bother with these people anymore since drama and uncertainty seem to really be showing themselves with them.

What do you guys think?

txduo2000 · 01-15-2006, 12:44 AM

Looks like LOTS of drama.

We would pull back, definitely. The first situation could be gotten over as just a bad time, but when the other one happened....

nope, better let them go.

bradandjanetca · 01-15-2006, 06:10 AM

My two cents....have you gotten to like them as firiends outside of sex? YOu mentioned the dinner thing so my conclusion is perhaps yes and it was not a close friendship. Our phiiosophy is that we do not see ourselves getting intimate with anyone we could not be vanilla firends witih first.

***JustAskJulie*** · 01-15-2006, 12:22 PM

I'd say that girl comes loaded with her own drama... avoid. That was just plain rude of her to not even call. If you were dating someone and they did that to you, you wouldn't give them a second chance (unless they had a really good excuse for why they didn't call and were 2+ hours late), so why would you do it in swinging?

HappyPeople · 01-15-2006, 02:42 PM

I agree with the above posters. They sound like they have too much internal drama, we wouldn't be interested in seeing them anymore after events like that.

Mrs Spoomonkey · 01-15-2006, 02:59 PM

Dito to everything that's been said. Way too much drama here. Sounds like they have issues as a couple and that spills over into their other relationships.

We had a couple do this to us. We played a couple of times and had set up another night for them to come to our house. He ended up having to work and she was suppose to call and let us know. Well when they didn't show up we called and found out she forgot to call us. She said he would be so mad at her because she basically caused them to stand us up. Apparently she has a problem with that kind of stuff.

I'm sorry it is just rude not to keep your committments or to call and explain why you can't. I would back away from them and move on to someone else, doesn't sound like it is worth your time.

Mrs Spoomonkey

valley · 01-15-2006, 07:07 PM

Why has no one mentioned bad manners,rude,inconsiderate?

They would not get one more minute of my time.

WesternSwing · 01-15-2006, 07:11 PM

Don't bother with them. They are a train wreck about to happen and you don't want to be caught-up in the carnage.

Mr. WS

WildMiCouple · 01-15-2006, 08:38 PM

If it was us, we'd be done with them. We would never think of not calling if something interrupted our plans with another couple

Why put up with it from others.

Brett

sweetshyquiet · 01-15-2006, 09:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JandCMI

After we went our separate ways and some time passed we decided to just let it go figuring it wasn't such a big deal. We hadn't hooked up with them since then anyways due to busy schedules until last week...

Here's another "back away" vote, and also a sympathetic "been there." We experienced some early weirdness from a couple that we'd otherwise liked. It rubbed us the wrong way, but we thought... "they're fun, they seem really great, maybe this was a one-off, let's give them the benefit of the doubt." Then they "took a break" to "work on their own marriage" so we figured, this is a sign, we don't need this, we dodged a bullet, moving on.

Then, after not hearing from Drama Couple for several weeks, we got the same kind of last-minute call inviting us to a house party; we thought, "well, we'll give 'em one last chance." We didn't know anyone else but the original couple, and (surprise surprise) it was a huge ambush of drama... people had been lied to about relationships and past histories, some couples had been told one thing and others another, and we basically got totally used.

Lesson learned: fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. Always listen to your intuition when people in the lifestyle seem sketchy. Someone else will always come along and the drama is just not worth it.

**good times** · 01-16-2006, 02:15 PM

Dito it sounds like way too much drama for us.

StarCrossed420 · 01-19-2006, 10:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WesternSwing

Don't bother with them. They are a train wreck about to happen and you don't want to be caught-up in the carnage.

Mr. WS

Dito I can hear the rails screaming from here!

Mrs. Star

Fantasy_Partner · 01-19-2006, 12:08 PM

Dito
Stay away from the drama queens

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01-15-2006, 12:26 AM	#1 (permalink)
JandCMI Here to Stay Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 96 Location: Detroit, Michigan Status: Male half of couple Swing Lifestyle Name:jandcmi28	Should we give these people another chance? There is a couple that we have known for several months, have gotten along with well (except for one incident described below), hooked up with several times and generally are happy to know. When we hook up with these people the sessions usually last for several hours and are quite compatible sexually. The problems are as follows: We had an incident with them during the summer that made C and I both quite uncomfortable. We were hanging out with them in a vanilla situation in public when the other girl got really liquored up and became verbally abusive with a service employee who was taking care of us. When her guy checked her and I agreed with him (trust me, her behavior was THAT bad), she got all silent and sort of spoiled the day after that with her attitude. After we went our separate ways and some time passed we decided to just let it go figuring it wasn't such a big deal. We hadn't hooked up with them since then anyways due to busy schedules until last week... She calls me last weekend asking what we were doing that Saturday and wondering if we wanted to hook up (like you even need to ask us that!). We agreed they would come over to our place at 5 the next day. The next day rolls around at 5, no sign of them. 6 oclock, no sign of them either. I called the other guy's phone (C and I have sort of decided at this point that he is the one with his head screwed on straight) and he tells me that his girl was giving him "some bullshit" and he took off to go hang with his buddy for a while. Apparently they got into a fight over some minor nonsense. I asked, "So I guess we aren't on tonight then?" to which he told me he thought his girl was supposed to call us - which she didn't. I called her and got her voicemail. By this point it was already 6:30 so C and I just said "fuck it" and went about our evening without them. I got a call from the other girl at about 7:30 that I let voice mail pick up saying her man just got home and was showered and to call them if we weren't busy. We didn't call back. In short, they were supposed to come at 5 but didn't so much as call to even let us know they weren't going to make it. When I called her to find out what was going on, she couldn't even answer the call. Rude, rude, rude. This coupled with the incident this summer really makes us wonder if we should even bother with these people anymore since drama and uncertainty seem to really be showing themselves with them. What do you guys think?

01-15-2006, 12:44 AM	#2 (permalink)
txduo2000 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 662 Location: Dallas TX Area Status: Couple	Re: Should we give these people another chance? Looks like LOTS of drama. We would pull back, definitely. The first situation could be gotten over as just a bad time, but when the other one happened.... nope, better let them go.
	__________________ Life is not measured by how many breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.

01-15-2006, 06:10 AM	#3 (permalink)
bradandjanetca Registered Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 8 Location: calabasas Status: couple Swing Lifestyle Name:bradandjanetca	Re: Should we give these people another chance? My two cents....have you gotten to like them as firiends outside of sex? YOu mentioned the dinner thing so my conclusion is perhaps yes and it was not a close friendship. Our phiiosophy is that we do not see ourselves getting intimate with anyone we could not be vanilla firends witih first.

01-15-2006, 12:22 PM	#4 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 29,211 Location: In my House Status: Female Swing Lifestyle Name:swingersboard	Re: Should we give these people another chance? I'd say that girl comes loaded with her own drama... avoid. That was just plain rude of her to not even call. If you were dating someone and they did that to you, you wouldn't give them a second chance (unless they had a really good excuse for why they didn't call and were 2+ hours late), so why would you do it in swinging?

01-15-2006, 02:42 PM	#5 (permalink)
HappyPeople Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 390 Location: Tampa	Re: Should we give these people another chance? I agree with the above posters. They sound like they have too much internal drama, we wouldn't be interested in seeing them anymore after events like that.

01-15-2006, 02:59 PM	#6 (permalink)
Mrs Spoomonkey Disney!All rides are open Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 1,758 Location: Ohio Status: Married Swing Lifestyle Name:spoomonkey	Re: Should we give these people another chance? Dito to everything that's been said. Way too much drama here. Sounds like they have issues as a couple and that spills over into their other relationships. We had a couple do this to us. We played a couple of times and had set up another night for them to come to our house. He ended up having to work and she was suppose to call and let us know. Well when they didn't show up we called and found out she forgot to call us. She said he would be so mad at her because she basically caused them to stand us up. Apparently she has a problem with that kind of stuff. I'm sorry it is just rude not to keep your committments or to call and explain why you can't. I would back away from them and move on to someone else, doesn't sound like it is worth your time. Mrs Spoomonkey
	__________________ Love is friendship set aflame

01-15-2006, 07:07 PM	#7 (permalink)
valley Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 131 Location: australia Status: couple Swing Lifestyle Name:valley195	Re: Should we give these people another chance? Why has no one mentioned bad manners,rude,inconsiderate? They would not get one more minute of my time.

01-15-2006, 07:11 PM	#8 (permalink)
WesternSwing South of disorder Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 2,973 Location: Utah Status: Single Male	Re: Should we give these people another chance? Don't bother with them. They are a train wreck about to happen and you don't want to be caught-up in the carnage. Mr. WS
	__________________ "Sex is something you do, sexuality is something you are." ~ Anna Freud

01-15-2006, 08:38 PM	#9 (permalink)
WildMiCouple Never up.....never in Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 730 Location: se Michigan and se Florida Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:wildmicouple	Re: Should we give these people another chance? If it was us, we'd be done with them. We would never think of not calling if something interrupted our plans with another couple Why put up with it from others. Brett
	__________________ Take it easy baby......but take as much as you can.

01-16-2006, 02:15 PM	#11 (permalink)
good times Mod Squad Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 6,919 Location: Reno, Nevada Status: Married to Mrs Good Times Swing Lifestyle Name:randp	Re: Should we give these people another chance? Dito it sounds like way too much drama for us.
	__________________ R (He is R, she is P)

01-19-2006, 12:08 PM	#13 (permalink)
Fantasy_Partner Active Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 46 Location: NE Wisconsin Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:Fantasy_Partners	Re: Should we give these people another chance? Dito Stay away from the drama queens
	__________________ Life is a merry go round, wanna go for a ride? Last edited by Fantasy_Partner; 01-19-2006 at 12:10 PM. Reason: Functional Difficulties

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