She got mad because I didn't send Nude Pictures....

[Jenanay70]

The Mr and I had a very strange experience recently. We are fairly new to this site and to swinging. We have been with 2 other couples, but are trying to meet people locally. We belong to the swinglifestyle.com site, and have had lots of great response from our profile.

Here is the issue: One of the couples we have been talking to seemed really interested in meeting us. The woman and I began to correspond alot, through email and im. She asked for and received several pics I have not sent anyone else. She then asked me for nude shots of me with the face included. She said that she wanted to make sure i was real, even though i sent her several pics with my face already. Well, i didn't have any nudes with my face, so i asked the hubby to take a few of me over the weekend.

We had a very busy weekend and did not even get to download these pics until today. The whole weekend she sent me emails asking where they were. When we finally went to send them to her, there was a nasty email from her calling us fakes and telling us she blocked our email so don't bother contacting her.

Is this an example of the dreaded "games" that many couples mention in their profiles and say they don't want? We are not into games and would never make a promise we wouldn't keep, but Damn... swinging is not the only thing we have going on in our life (Kids, jobs, laundry, yardwork....)

Is it just us, or did she overreact to that fact that i did not jump to it quick enough? Is this to be expected when talking and meeting online? i did send her an email(even though she said she blocked email from us) to express our shock, but did not apoplogize. We don't feel we did anything wrong. Did we? Maybe we are better off if that is how she reacts to not seeing me nude.

Any new insight or input would be welcomed. Please help these newbies out!

Thanks. Jenanay70

[BradAndJanet]

My bet is that you encountered an 'armchair masturbationist', in this case a man posing as a woman for the purposes of getting your nude pictures for his gratification. Once he has what he wants, he cuts off contact in the manner you described.

That's why we began insisting on phone calls before getting too excited about anybody. We wouldn't send pictures to anyone (especially naked face pictures) without one. I don't mean to worry you, but those could show up on Internet somewhere. I hope not, for your sake, and I think most of these pervies just like to collect them; that's their kink.

You might consider emailing the operators of Swing Lifestyle and telling them what happened, in case there have been other complaints about this 'couple'. Overall, just chalk it up to 'lessons learned' and move on from it, that's what I'd do.

-B

[SnSnLex]

You did nothing wrong. Some people are like that, they have their priorites in the wrong order. Family first everytime.

You will have alot of good and bad things happen if you swing for long. You'll like someone, then they disappear, you'll meet someone and they'll be 10 years older than what they say, you'll find "the" couple for you and be great friends.

We have had all of the above happen plus more.

Got a couple questions for you.

Why did she want so many pics? Couldn't she see them on whatever site you are using? Just because you send someone a pic doesn't mean it's one of you. We used to send pics out, but not any longer, when someone sends you YOUR own pics back saying it's them it'll make you wary of pic collectors.

A phone call is the best way to see that everyone is "real" in our opinion.

Looks like they did you a favor by eliminating themselves from your list. If they get mad that easy online, don't think we'd like to meet them anyways

Hope this helps.

[Elusive BiFem]

I am totally in agreement with BradandJanet on this. I think most people have had similar types of experiences, sad to say. But too, like B said...nothing much to do about it now other than to learn from the experience and move on. Some people can be real twits - ruining things for so many.

Let us know what you end up doing. B's recommendation was excellent and I'd like to know the outcome of that.

- EBF

[OhioCouple]

Dito to all the above comments. Consider this a lesson learned, unfortunately many of us have been duped. One of the great things about this board is that there is so much information here and a whole lot of good folks that can help you sort out your feelings on events such as this and in our case, quite often has prevented us from making the same mistakes that others have. Not that we haven't created a few of our own though.

As BradandJanet said, the person on the other end was probably nothing more than an 'armchair masturbationist'. Jollies are done and over with, time to move on.

[ionsawmill]

I had a situation recently which was frustrating. A couple who contacted us based on our Yahoo profile chatted with us several times. They kept pushing to have a webcam meeting. I told them that we weren't comfortable going straight to the webcam show when we hadn't really gotten to know them yet. Even though they kept saying that they would move at whatever pace we were comfortable with, they got frustrated and upset when we didn't drop everything to come meet them on the internet. They finally blew us off, but not until they had insinuated that we were just stringing them along.

[Jenanay70]

Wow!! Didn't expect so may replies so quickly. We would like to say "thank you" to everyone!

For the record, we didn't send any nude pics with face (we didn't have any handy), although we were going to do that today. However, we did send g-rated pics and nudes/x-rated pics without the faces. So I guess we lucked out.

She (He?) sent us quite a few nude pics of her, and I guess she was impatient for us to respond equally.

I guess that you have to be really careful putting pics of yourself out there. However, aren't you equally nervous putting your phone # out there? A few years ago, we gave out a phone # and determined we weren't interested after a few calls. After we tried to tell him this, we had to endure phone calls at all hours until the guy finally got bored or got the message that we weren't interested.

We don't want to be cautious to the point of paranoia, but we do want to be confident that pics of ourselves won't end up public and that we won't be harrassed over the phone.

But we REALLY DO want to connect with people, and meet nice people like yourselves. So how do you balance caution and friendliness, and still manage to be real and meet cool people?

[Elusive BiFem]

Originally posted by Jenanay70
However, aren't you equally nervous putting your phone # out there? A few years ago, we gave out a phone # and determined we weren't interested after a few calls. After we tried to tell him this, we had to endure phone calls at all hours until the guy finally got bored or got the message that we weren't interested.

Cell phone numbers. I think that is the best thing to do. A couple of years ago, I ran into a bit of a problem with someone that had my cell phone number and would not leave me alone after telling them (him, really) several times...not interested. Finally, what I did was add their number to my phone book, but instead of the name, I typed in *DO NOT ANSWER*
You know how you answer when you don't know who it is...well, that kept me from answering. After a time of no response from me, it finally ended.

I think if you are careful, you don't usually have huge problems. Unfortunately, that one bad apple....

- EBF

[Jenanay70]

Thanks, EBF.

I thinnk cells are the way to go. You can always turn them off. I think you can even program them to ignore certain numbers.

Actually, we just had a nice call with somebody we gave our number to last week. So we're feeling much more positive about things.

[WesternSwing]

That is why we ONLY send G- or R-rated pics unless we know the couple or person on the other end. We have swapped some harder pics with another couple, but we have swapped with them so there is nothing to hide anyways. There is also the fear that you'll find your pics on some porn site someday...

We only give pics to those who give us access to theirs. But I geuss if everyone worked off of that theory no one would see each other.

A phone conversation is a MUST before we meet anyone. You are right, it weeds out who is real and who isnt, most of the time .


I think I would stay away from this person for sure.


You said she sent you e-mails telling you that you were fake.

You sound a whole lot more real than she does.

If anyone wants to see more pics after we show them our private ones we move on. If they are serious about meeting we show enough in our private pics that they will know we are serious about swinging.

[C&D]

Originally posted by Mr&Mrs-naughty
If anyone wants to see more pics after we show them our private ones we move on. If they are serious about meeting we show enough in our private pics that they will know we are serious about swinging.

Yup...agreed. There is plenty to see in our public and private pics that there is no reason to send anymore. We do however get alot of free members that want to see pics and those are the ones that we are leary of to a degree. If we email a few times and they want to see pics then we'll send them ones with no face shots. The face pics only get sent when we start to feel like they are for real.

And no...you did nothing wrong. Family and time come before anything and if they can't understand that then they might be someone best left alone.


CandD

What really kills me is those who have private pics and actualy have the nerve to ask to see our private pics in their first message to us. But they havent given us access to theirs??

To me its like they are saying: "I dont feel comfortable showing you mine but I want you to show me yours."

That is my biggest peeve.


If you are going to ask to see our private pics you better had already opened yours to us.

Seems like a pretty simple concept to me.

[C&D]

Originally posted by Mr&Mrs-naughty
What really kills me is those who have private pics and actualy have the nerve to ask to see our private pics in their first message to us. But they havent given us access to theirs??

To me its like they are saying: "I dont feel comfortable showing you mine but I want you to show me yours."

That is my biggest peeve.


If you are going to ask to see our private pics you better had already opened yours to us.

Seems like a pretty simple concept to me.

A very simple and understandable concept.

We've run into a few of those ourselves. It's just made us more reluctant to who we give access to now. I've made it so that the only difference between our public and private pics are that the private pics have faces on them.

There's enough showing in the public pics to get a general idea of what we look like. If they want to see private pics then they can be patient and wait 'till we get to know them a little better. If they can't handle that then it's probably best that we don't get to know them anyway.


CandD

[Chemistry_0518]

Dito We have enough G-rated pics that should satisfy someone interested in really knowing who we are. We don't do x-rated for anyone and if that is what ot takes to keep their interest long enough to meet us then they are definitely not the type of people that we need in our lives.