Are you more likely to respond or contact a paid vs. free member?

[bugaboos]

Hi all,

I hope this is the correct place to ask another question! I was just wondering how everyone felt about free members vs. paid members of different swinging/personal ad sites. Are you more likely to respond to the ad of a paid member, disregard those of a non paying member? Hubby and I are planning on getting a paid membership, originally we thought AFF, but we've had very little success with them and have found Swing Lifestyle to be much more effective. So I think that's where we'll end up having our first paid membership. That said, I wonder how much not having a paid membership at the other sites we belong to plays a part into not having any responses? (of course, we may not be anyone's type, too. )

Thanks again for taking the time to read and reply!

[hmr]

I can't speak for others, but it usually makes no difference to us whether the persons are paid or free. We look at the ad, not at thier status. We are interested in the type of people who put the ad on, and if they interest us. To discount someone because they are a free member, is to cut off your nose to spite your face so to speak. Many people get free memberships to test out a site before commiting themselves to a paid membership.
This is something we know and take into account.

The one thing you have to keep in mind being a free member, is on most sites you can't contact anyone unless they contact you first. Once contacted you can reply.

I wish you the best of luck on Swing Lifestyle and your other sites.

Sometimes it just takes time! You feel like you are wasting your time, and getting no where fast.head bang
HANG IN THERE!

mrs hmr

[b_and_sc]

We're free members and have had pretty good luck so far. We don't usually look at their member status when checking out a profile either.

We've had more luck at Swing Lifestyle than any other site too...good luck!!!


b

[Handyman69]

We're free members on Swing Lifestyle, We are not picture viewers so looking a nude pictures isn't much to give up. We are paid members on swappernet and between the two, we have had much better luck with the free site.........go figure.
John

We are free members on Swing Lifestyle and we were not having much luck but we were waiting for people to mail us first. After we realized that is what everyone else is probably doing too we decided to contact other people first if we liked their profile.

We have found no difference in who responds. Free or paid it doesnt seem to matter they all seem to respond if we start the conversation.

I say take the first step and you will be surprised how many out there are willing to get together as long as someone else makes the first move.

[jcbicouple]

Originally posted by Handyman69
We're free members onSwing Lifestyle, We are not picture viewers so looking a nude pictures isn't much to give up.

Dito to that part for us too, but we refuse to pay for an ad site. We get plenty of responses without them, and if people aren't interested in us just because we won't pay to post an ad.......oh well. We get lots of responses from couples and singles, and frankly talk to many that we would love to meet in person. Unfortunately, It's reached the point that we are extremely selective about who we actually meet, just because we don't have time to meet everyone. (Working around not enough playtime, schedules of both parties, and then the odds of someone not actually showing has played a big role in our swaying more towards group gatherings or clubs....and whether or not they paid for an ad doesn't seem to affect whether or not they show up. lol)

[Roxysbayou]

I can't say that I would never meet anyone who was a free member. But paid members get my attention first, mainly because I have had enough with fakes and such, so to me paid means that you are for real.

Also, if you are not a paid member you better not email me asking for pictures. That is one of my biggest hang ups. I don't have the time to sit here emailing the same pictures that are posted to my ad to begin with.

Roxy

[OhioCouple]

We are of the kind that if they are not paying members, we tend to think that they are not serious in the lifestyle and are typically just wanting to view pics or live out a virtual reality. This became readily apparent on Swappernet as new members are allowed access to all avenues for three days, the remainder of the 30 are profiles only. (No Pics) We would get contacted by the same 'people' in our local area sometimes twice in a seven day period, with a newly created screen name. The pics and their profile were the same and they were very easy to spot.

We have never had a no-show on meeting with someone from an ad (although we wish we had a couple of times), but I think that is because we are thorough in getting to know the other party before we ever meet face to face. ie, email and a phone call with all parties present is a must before we meet with anyone via the ad site. I'd say we have met with at least 30 couples in a three year period, and all of them showed in spite of sometimes there being a one to two hour drive for each of us.

Jcbicouple, out of curiosity and rather off topic, is it possible that the number of responses that you receive are from those in which the male has a desire to try bi? I'd be curious to know what the numbers are of those that contact you with a profile that says the male is straight, yet intereseted in a bi-sexual experience.

[b_and_sc]

It has been our experience that many men who post they are straight have contacted us for a 'bi experience'. It kind of ticks us off...I mean, if you are, then post that you are. I understand the fear and all, but really, if my dh can post he's bi and they contact him....


b

[EternallySingle]

The free vs paid membership depends on how proactive you want to be. My advice is to use the free period on a site to see how many people in your area meet your standards before signing up for the paid membership.

[Spoomonkey]

...He'd have given me an extra 19.95 per month...

We found out that if you are serious about meeting folks - then it definitely helps (at first) to pony up the cash. Of course, we have since become more club oriented, so the internet is sort of a "side line" venture.

Hadn't had an ad for a while and then posted one to Swing Lifestyle with the thought of just being able to check in here and there. Our profile was rather lame and short... Nothing special - no real thought put into it... And we are already (within a week) corresponding with a couple who thought our ad was "witty"...

Go figure...

I think it has more to do with karma and wind current than "paid or free"...

I agree with the "paid only" folks though. Dealing with fakes can be a real pain in the ass. In our experience (or lack thereof) it is surprisingly the single men who always turned out to be fakes... We've rarely been "stood up" by a couple... Figuratively speaking, since we always talk on the phone before agreeing to drinks and dinner... But single guys - when we used to chat with them, always disappeared after a half dozen e-mails or so...

If the internet was our preferred mode of contact, we'd probably pay.

Spoomonkey

[dragonlady]

Not sure i really want to pay for a site I have not got any respones on while being a free member and I hope there will be a couple or couples out there that will relize that and responed to my ad.

[Yummi]

I don't have a lot of experience here, but I can tell everyone that I do not recommend paying for Adult Friend Finder's fees to get extras like "gold memberships". My husband and I had an ad on that site for two years (paid extra for 'gold') and all we got was an unhappy married gal's response, and website advertisements...

[bugaboos]

Thanks everyone so much for your input here. As I mentioned we had been tossing around the idea of paying for one site and I think we will, but I don't feel so bad about having free memberships at the others.

[jcbicouple]

Originally posted by OhioCouple

Jcbicouple, out of curiosity and rather off topic, is it possible that the number of responses that you receive are from those in which the male has a desire to try bi? I'd be curious to know what the numbers are of those that contact you with a profile that says the male is straight, yet intereseted in a bi-sexual experience.

From our ad on Swing Lifestyle, it's about 95% plus. We usually respond with a polite "Sorry, but we aren't interested in curious people." We are including people who tell us they are really bi in their private e mail, but their profile says "straight" into the
95% plus also, so the one's who are just wanting to try are a little lower than that percentage....probably more around 50%. We estimate another 4% are people trying to play without their spouse, and we aren't into that either (Not that we are against any couples who both agree to play apart, just our choice not to play with them seperately.) Sort of takes us back to a totally different post about people not reading profiles! LOL!
We now return you to your originally scheduled thread. he he