personals not well thought out....?

[BettyAnnMBSC]

I was just surfing through some personals on a board and one caught my eye. Not because I found it appealing but because it seemed to be very negative...

It asks if there is anyone on that board that isn't "nuts" or "fat" etc... right in the headline...!

Now, maybe it's just me but doesn't the general population think that all swingers are "nuts" (or at least a bit "strange")? As I think about it -- aren't the people who are just a bit "nuts" the most fun to meet?

But the "fat" thing -- that was interesting. You see, the F half is 5'6 and 190 pounds but they describe themselves as "normal" in body size.

Don't take this wrong, I am a "big" girl (5'7 and 230+#) and I'd never presume to tell someone they are "fat". That said then -- is 5'6" and 190 pounds considered "normal body size"? That's about a size 18 or 20 WP ~ clothiers refer to that as "plus size"

My question to the list then is this: how do you feel about undefined negative comments in personals such as "no weirdos" "no fat people" or "no drunks" as opposed to making a more positive (or at least defined) comment such as "we're not into xyz"?

[fun_pairTX]

The only negatives we use in our profile are no children, animals, pain or things better left in the bathroom. When I see negative ads such as the ones that you cite as examples, they are skipped over quickly.

I think sometimes negatives are needed.

At first we did not have "No Single Males" in our profile but evertime we checked our male there was a close up pic of someones cock.

So we put " No Single Males" and it pretty much stopped.

[JustAskJulie]

I have to wonder if in this situation they weren't just using that line to get attention? I've seen that a lot in singles personal ads... guys will post an ad basically going on attack mode... but as you read it you realize they don't really mean it and are just trying any means necessary to get some attention to their ad.

I tend to skip over ads with negatives because I try very hard to be positive myself.

FYI the Mr. is wrong-our ad does not say 'no single males', it says 'couples only please'. See the difference?

I look at height and weight, because it's important to me. I've worked very hard to get where I am and can appreciate others who take care of themselves-on another note, I weigh quite a bit but am very muscular so my h/w might look off to those browsing our ad.

[Spoomonkey]

I don't like negative ads...

I mean, we are runners, so except for the current "winter pelt" we are pretty HWP... Our spring and summer race schedule will probably have us looking fairly ethiopian come the fall, so we live it up over Christmas...

But my thing is - if a person is looking for a model - then they should just say so. "Please do not apply unless you are physically perfect." I don't know... I posted somewhere that you just can't tell much about a person from a picture. We've met some really ulgy "10s" - personality can overcome a lot in our book. We'd rather meet some gorgeous "5s" anyday.

Sure attraction is important - but attraction is more than skin deep. And - well - if your skin is deeper than most, I guess that makes you more attractive...

That's something I'll have to try to wrap my brain around...

Besides - there is a HUGE difference between fat and sloppy - and I don't think many people can tell the difference. Some overweight women (BBWs) carry themselves so well that - while you may notice the extra padding - you'd never dare to pass up a chance to play with them... It is the sloppy folks, the folks that don't really pay any attention to their appearence that kind of turn me off...

But - if I saw that in an ad - I'd honestly think that we wouldn't get along. If people are just interested in my appearence, then I'm very unlikely to be turned on by them... I like it when people stroke my mind

Short strokes, please... And the faster the better...

As for nuts... Well - Mrs Spoomonkey has three to deal with all the time around here...

You do the math...

Spoomonkey

WHOA!
Hold on.....I didn't say that I am not interested unless they could be models, because in all honesty(even though Mr is always telling me differently) I don't consider myself 'hot'. I am most absolutly NOT perfect and I don't expect others to be.

As far as placing ads, we are looking for people who have similar interests-obviously one of Mr & my hobbies is working out....followed by many physical outdoor activites that would be a lot more difficult given extra poundage..... we know, because we have lost a combined total of 140lbs. Trust me, life is much more comfortable these days!!

I agree about having my mind(as well as other things) stroked(meow) I have definatly seen people who I thought "wow" and then they opened their mouths and I thought 'oh my-you poor thing....'

[Spoomonkey]

Mrs Naughty

I really didn't mean that as a response to what you were writing. Not at all. I completely understand what you were saying and was really just speaking to the original post... Combined, of course, with the typical plotless thought pattern that I am prone to.

I agree that people should care about how they look - regardless of size. If people are taking care of themselves - it shows. That is the difference I was trying to make with the use of the word "sloppy".

I truely apologize if you thought I was flinging my poo at you...



Spoomonkey

kiss kiss spoomonkey....

Yes, please don't fling poo, I really can't get into that!

However, If you have a paddle, I could use a good spanking for thinking you were talking to me......

[Spoomonkey]

Woo Hoo!

I love patching up friendships...



Spoomonkey

[OhioCouple]

Originally posted by JustAskJulie
I have to wonder if in this situation they weren't just using that line to get attention? I've seen that a lot in singles personal ads... guys will post an ad basically going on attack mode... but as you read it you realize they don't really mean it and are just trying any means necessary to get some attention to their ad.

I think Julie brings up a very interesting point that I had never considered before. Several times an opening line was just that...something for 'shock' value that made you want to read the rest of it and sometimes after having read the entire profile you could tell it was done for just that reason. However, I do find that using words like "Fat" to grab attention goes over and above respectability and deserves no further attention.

[yawanna]

It has been our experience that most people who say 'no fat people' are in fact themselves overweight. A duragatory term used up here by a few is 'fuglies'. Fat and Ugly. And guess what. The people coining that phrase aren't Jessica Simpson or Nick Lachey.

Just never ceases to astound me how people can have little or no concept of their own appearances and yet go out of their way to disrespect a general population aka swingers.

[b_and_sc]

OMG!! I came across a personal a few weeks ago just like that!! Well, the topic line wasn't a turn off, but when I read their profile, it listed LOTS of negatives and don't write to us if's...

THEY EMAILED US!!!! I couldn't believe it!!! It was probably just 2 days after I read it to S. Since I thought we were part of what they were NOT looking for I told them so in my reply...I was very sweet and nice and said their pics were great but did they read our profile cause by reading theirs I wasn't sure if they'd like us...they never responded lolol

oh well...you just can't please some people

b