Not reading the profile

[Chicup]

Ok this has been unexpected.

On an add sight our profile has the usual no single males, as well as stating we are not looking for anyone over 40. We just like staying in our own age group.

Now this site does a good job of filtering singles so we only had a few of them using a couples profile, but whats amazing is how many 40+ people have responded despite our lack of interest being listed in 2 places.

Now if they said 'I know you said you weren't looking for over 40, but...' that would be fine, but they either send a standard letter or even odder send one which shows they read the profile but some how ignored the 40 bit.

I'm wondering how common this is.

[Brit_Pair]

Chicup,

you only have yourself to blame for failing to read the small print more carefully. I think you'll find that on almost all adult contact sites, section 4, sub-section 3, paragraph 2 states:

Prospective members of (insert site name here) must hereby agree to either:

(i) read the details of all other member profiles carefully, and then reply regardless of any stipulations or restrictions stated because "I/We are so hot and desireable that they're bound to make an exception for me/us";

(ii) skip over the details of all other member profiles because they're too busy drooling over the photographs, and reply regardless of any stipulations or restrictions stated "because I/We want her/him/them, no matter what she/he/they might want";

(iii) reply to all other member profiles regardless of any stipulations or restrictions stated "because I/We have nothing else to do with my/our empty shell of a life".

[mrbandsatl]

LOL Brit_Pair - Thanks for pointing that out - NOW it all makes sense!

We have had ads on several of the major boards for close to 5 years. In that time, we have received thousands of replies and only a fraction of them have ever read our profile.

For kicks, here's what we did for a week or so on one of them...

On the first line of our profile we wrote, "We only respond to people who read our entire profile. There are three words in our profile that are in [brackets]. To prove you have read our entire post, these three words must appear at the beginning of the reply."

That week, we got a lot of replies from the regulars congratulating us for being so creative. But what amazed us was how many replies went so far as to say, "we read your message and you are perfect for us," with NO mention of the words.

The next week, we added this to the middle of our profile...

"We are both HIV+ and he has a prosthetic penis..." Again, laughs from the regulars, but the flow of messages from single guys and others we had no interested in meeting continued.

BUT

When you cut through the clutter, there are some pretty cool people out there. We have had a lot of fun over the years and have made a few really good friends in the process.

Bob and Sandy

[frenzb4sex]

OMG you guys are hysterical!!!

Question-does this ad site have the ability to block singles? Most sites we are on have this ability. I realize that some may sneak through by joining as a couple, but those people are usually dispatched rather quickly after they are found out.

This reminded me of some friends of ours who signed up on a site as newbies under the handle "BICOUPLE". Now, he was not, but they thought since she was it would work ok. Well, lo and behold, even though they put on the profile that he is in no way bi or curious throughout the profile, that the emails kept flowing in from bi singles and couples desiring such.

After they got fed up with it, they decided to see just how much people did not read, changing their weight to 500 lbs for each, one being 18 and the other 75 years old, stating in the profile they were only looking for midgets and amputees, and that they were looking for only those over 70, and guess what---didn't work. Still, the emails flowed in.

This is disheartening to many, I believe, in the swing ad world, because many people take the time to really put down what their preferences, likes/dislikes, etc., so that there is a potential weeding out process. We took a lot of time and effort on ours on each site, and it's clear what we are looking for.

Will it ever stop? Probably not. But don't feel like you are alone in this category. It's a fact that some people (not just singles) just do email blasts to whomever is on or just send off to anyone as a "fishing" measure (throw out a hundred lines and hope for 1 positive response). It's just a drawback on sites that you have to deal with. You could also try something by putting a keyword at the end of the profile, requiring those who send you emails to put this in the subject line. If they don't have it when you look at it, you KNOW they didn't read it.

Good luck in the future.

Tim

[BradAndJanet]

Originally posted by bobandsandy
...
The next week, we added this to the middle of our profile...

"We are both HIV+ and he has a prosthetic penis..." Again, laughs from the regulars, but the flow of messages from single guys and others we had no interested in meeting continued.
...

Bob & Sandy, that's hilarious and very creative.

There must be a lot of lonely, desperate people out there who have nothing better to do than to bring up the list of new profiles, click the 'send response' button, paste in their standard message and move on to the next one. Do you suppose they actually get any real responses from that method?

Anybody remember the character 'Me Lay' Marston from M.A.S.H.? His philosophy was that if he asked 100 women, "Me lay, you lay?" that one or two would take him up on the offer. It sounds like more than a few people are trying that approach. Now that I think about it, it's exactly like email spammers. They're happy if they get a fraction of one percent of people to respond.

Question: is it immoral or unethical to mess with the heads of these people by sending them 'creative' responses?

-B

[OhioCouple]

Not reading a profile is a hugh pet peeve of mine. I used to answer these illiterate people back and frankly I got tired of it. Our profile clearly states in the first line that we are not meeting new couples. It doesn't keep them for writing though. I now use the power of the mouse. "CLICK AND DELETE" . If they couldn't bother to read our profile, then they can safely assume that I didn't read their message to us. Tit for tat I call it. I am of the opinion that if they are sending messages to those that clearly state they are not meeting new couples or even have withdrawn from swinging for a while, they are either very desperate (not my kind of people anyway) or total jerk offs. (Not my kind of people either.)

Just delete 'em and go on about your way. It used to upset me, but no more, not since I mastered the delete button.

[Brit_Pair]

Originally posted by BradAndJanet
Now that I think about it, it's exactly like email spammers. They're happy if they get a fraction of one percent of people to respond.

Going off at a slight tangent, from what I understand, they only need to get a fraction of one percent of people to respond in order to be in profit. It's worth pissing off tens of hundreds of thousands of people because of the financial benefits that come from getting just a few hits.

That said, legislation has been passed only this week making spam illegal in the European Union.

Now all we have to do is figure out how to trace the spammers, and where to find the conviction to prosecute them.


soapbox (end of tangent)

[fun_pairTX]

The next thing you are going to want will be comprehension !!!!!
That is a little much to ask of a demographic where the majority refuse to believe the "WET PAINT" signs.

[NorCal Nites]

Originally posted by fun_pairTX
The next thing you are going to want will be comprehension !!!!!
That is a little much to ask of a demographic where the majority refuse to believe the "WET PAINT" signs.

What do you mean? It doesn't LOOK wet... I think I'll sit down, must just be there to keep the other people off it.


LOL

[Chicup]

Heh what I should have said in the first post as well was the unexpected bit was the huge numbers of 40+ age couples who did this.

I expected more wisdom with age I guess

Then of course there are the May Decembers who think because the girl is under 40 then we wouldn't mind that the guy is over 60.

[Brit_Pair]

Originally posted by Chicup
Then of course there are the May Decembers who think because the girl is under 40 then we wouldn't mind that the guy is over 60.

So you're not wild about the 'peach and prune' combination then?

[mrbandsatl]

Question: is it immoral or unethical to mess with the heads of these people by sending them 'creative' responses?

We've sent our share of creative responses as well Actually, we have made a bit of a game about people who write that obviously do not read our profile. Not to the point of anything unethical or misleading but certainly fun for us.

As far as blocking single men, both sites we belong to have that capability but we have chosen not to block them for several reasons.

1. We like meeting GOOD single men
2. We have "conversational" relationships with many people online... Not just the ones we meet in person.
3. We keep hoping that common sense and respect will triumph over censorship - LOL

What bothers us more than not reading profiles is one sentence introductions that typically read something like...

"I'm a young single guy who gets hard and stays hard, are you available tonight?"

We think good contacts are like truffles. Got to sniff through a lot of crap to find em!

Cheers, B+S