Discovering someone you know on a swinger site...

***JustAskJulie*** · 06-26-2003, 12:08 PM

Have you ever found out that someone you've been corresponding with through a swing site was someone you already knew?

Did you find out before you actually met them? Did you meet them anyway?

Did you not find out till they showed up for the first meeting?

What happened when you found out?

ciscosv · 06-26-2003, 01:28 PM

This has not happened to us. But the thoughts and what if's have crossed my mind and my wifes as well.

alabamafuntonig · 06-26-2003, 01:36 PM

I am pretty sure my next door neibors are swingers. Im almost possitive ,they have given several hints only fellow swingers could pick up on. I have searched hi and low to find a add of them online . so far i think i have found theres . But to my dismay they have not responded to my emails. I wonder if they feel threatend or a little embarrassed. My thoughts are they want to but dont know how to approch us .we will find out on the 4th of july we are going to there cookout and im just going to ask them (mr bama will ask the hubby and mrs bama will ask the wife).

windsor4fun2 · 06-26-2003, 10:20 PM

My wife chated a few times with someone who answered one of our ads. Turned out to be our next door neighbour and long time friends. SURPRISE. Thought we knew everything about each other. We have never played together but often run into each other at clubs.

Weezie · 06-27-2003, 08:23 AM

We've found 2 couples where my husband went to high school with the guy. We never played because we didn't find them attractive. We all live in the same town. We've also found a girl I know from work (but don't see everyday), she's never said anything to me, so maybe she's passed up our profile on the site. And then I came across a friend of mine's sister. I emailed her...she never replied so I'll just leave it alone.

negacpl · 06-27-2003, 10:19 AM

Yes, this has happened to us a couple of times. We live in a very small town and usually we post where we live as a bigger town close to us.
1 couple was a couple I worked with. They sent us their pics and we chuckled but hooked up, we were not compatible but remained friends and still say hi to them when we see them out.

The other couple we were good friends with, and when we happened across their profile, we knew we could mess with thier minds a little.(of coarse we didn't sign our names but gave enough info that they knew we knew them.) It didn't take long for them to figure it out and we all had a big laugh about it. We were already good friends, now we are better friends.

OhioCouple · 06-27-2003, 02:41 PM

We exchanged several e-mail with one couple that we all appeared to be interested in each other. Eventually it came out that the female half and I had been in the same industry and that we knew each other, pretty well. (We found out when we exchanged 'real' names.) That made us all a little uncomfortable because I do still run into the female half several times a year at conventions. We agreed to just be friends and not go any further.

We have also met people and swung with people from the pay-site we belong to and then found out later that they were members of this board. Things got a little sticky when I posed a problem on here once and they called to confirm it was them.

That is not a situation that I would want to repeat again. *Shaking head... NO! NO! NO!*

wrnakedru · 07-06-2003, 03:30 PM

All three circumstances were with couples whose correspondence seems to be handled by the male half. (Maybe they are not as good at recalling those already known to them?)

All three were with the online contact made by the other couple (male). All three were folks who did not have photos with their profile. Ours has photos, in fact, photos that clearly show our faces.

In two of the situations, we were able to identify the senders prior to any photo being sent by them. They had written to us not realizing we already knew each other.

In one situation, we had met at a mutual friends home. This friend has numerous parties a year, but there is not a great deal of "partying" that takes place there. The parties are more social than sexual in nature.

That contact dwindled down to nothing as it became known who each were, and how we had become acquainted. We believe that this couple chooses to keep their "intimate" activities very private, and realizing we already had a social acquaintance made us no longer "good prospects" for them.

The second we could identify was a couple we had met at a Halloween party at on off premises club when all were in costume. We were able to zero in on their identity due to their self description, and town of residence. They were surprised at us being able to identify them, in fact, seemed a bit scared by it. They had written primarily because we had expressed an interest in learning more about nudist camps, and they are regulars at one in the area.

The third was a couple who offered to send photos by return mail as soon as receipt of a response was made. The wording of their initial contact did lead us to suspect we were part of a "mass mail out" they had done. We did respond, gave an outside email for photos, and asked some questions. We have never heard back. But in their initial contact, they gave their names. It develops we both belong to a monthly dinner social group. (We have since learned). And having seen their "social demeanor" on more than one occasion, feel like we indeed dodged a bullet there. There has never been any indication on their part that they are even aware they have written to us, so we have let that die gracefully.

We humans are funny critters, aren't we?

wrnakedru · 07-06-2003, 03:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by alabamafuntonig
I am pretty sure my next door neibors are swingers. Im almost possitive , ......we will find out on the 4th of july we are going to there cookout and im just going to ask them (mr bama will ask the hubby and mrs bama will ask the wife).

So what did you find out?

vevaycple · 07-06-2003, 10:33 PM

I had a similar experience happen. Being an outside sales rep, I went to make a cold call on a lead I had received. When I arrived at the trailer they used for an office, the man I was to see was not there. The only person there was the receptionist/office manager lady. She told me she could receive any imformation I had on the equipment they were looking to purchase. When I introduced myself and told her i was from a certain local town, she instantly got this sh.. eating grin on her face and she said. "I think I know you". I replied, "oh"? She said I think we have communicated online. Im starting to squirm now. I asked, "where online"? She just kept this sh.. eating grin on her face and wouldn't answer. The last thing I wanted to do was suggest it might be a certain swing site we frequent. After what seemed like a long long awkward moment, i said it... She replied "yes". Oh gosh my worst nightmare come true. Going into a sales call and recognizing someone or being recognized by someone from the swing site. Well, I lost the sale on the equipment but I did close the deal on her and her husband for us. It was quite awkward but with one under my belt I think I can handle the next one even better.

alabamafuntonig · 07-07-2003, 10:27 AM

reply to next door neibors are swingers. well they are who they say they are on Swing Lifestyle. they were shocked to know we know. but on the other hand they knew we were on there 2 . nothing happend yet but! it leaves a whole new twist to our little neiborhood. im going to tread lightly for now.

RkeVaCpl · 01-24-2005, 09:22 AM

This has happened to us also..We had emailed with a couple for a while and after sending out pics to each other, we found that we had known them for a few years but had no idea they were in the lifestyle..We did get together and became even better friends..

Handyman69 · 01-24-2005, 10:14 AM

This also happened to us. About a year ago we got a reply to our ad on Swing Lifestyle from a couple in Oklahoma. It went on to say that they liked our profile and they visit our area about once a year or so and to check them out and let them know what we thought. We started e-mailing and chatting on yahoo and the woman 1/2 of the couple eventially told me she knew me........then went on to say that she had even been to my house years before (when they had previously live in Michigan...........this about blew us away. I could not for the life of me even begin to know who it could be. Then she told us she use to work with me about 20 yrs ago and I had had a pick-up topper for sale and her and her ex had bought it off me. LOL.........then I remembered who she was. I had thought she was cute then but at the time...........would never even thought about swinging. Well......to make a long story short, they (the woman and her new husband) visited us last July and we had a very nice afternoon.
John & Rhonda

Jeffislearning · 02-08-2006, 10:55 PM

Would you contact someone you know in "regular" life?

DH signed up for this forum after our first experience with soft swinging but we haven't really participated since, life interfered. We both read the boards but neither of us has really felt the desire to partipate again -- if it happens, great; if not, we're still good.

We found a picture of some friendly acquaintances on a personals site: do we contact them to let them know we saw it? Do we pretend we never saw it? I personally have no opinion on playing vs not playing with them, I like them either way. I just don't want to lose a friendship over it.

Mike and Jan · 02-09-2006, 04:30 AM

Well, if I had vanilla friends and found out that they were in the lifestyle too I'd certainly let them know.

Now, I'd be very careful not to make them think that I'm assuming that we might swing together (just in case they really didn't want to) but it'd sure be nice to be able to add this compatibility to our conversations.

And if we all did seem to agree on swinging together it'd really be a special treat to already know and like them without sex.

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06-26-2003, 12:08 PM	#1 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 29,288 Location: In my House Status: Female Swing Lifestyle Name:swingersboard	Discovering someone you know on a swinger site... Have you ever found out that someone you've been corresponding with through a swing site was someone you already knew? Did you find out before you actually met them? Did you meet them anyway? Did you not find out till they showed up for the first meeting? What happened when you found out?
	__________________ Julie - your hostess The Swinger Manual - all the info from the Swingers Board in one convenient book

06-26-2003, 01:28 PM	#2 (permalink)
ciscosv Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 755 Location: Redford, Michigan Status: Married Couple	This has not happened to us. But the thoughts and what if's have crossed my mind and my wifes as well.
	__________________ M&M Melts in your mouth, not in your hand

06-27-2003, 08:23 AM	#5 (permalink)
Weezie Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 162 Location: MS Gulf Coast Status: female half of a couple	We've found 2 couples where my husband went to high school with the guy. We never played because we didn't find them attractive. We all live in the same town. We've also found a girl I know from work (but don't see everyday), she's never said anything to me, so maybe she's passed up our profile on the site. And then I came across a friend of mine's sister. I emailed her...she never replied so I'll just leave it alone.
	__________________ "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful"

06-27-2003, 10:19 AM	#6 (permalink)
negacpl Here to Stay Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 40 Location: N.Georgia	Do I Know YOU???? Yes, this has happened to us a couple of times. We live in a very small town and usually we post where we live as a bigger town close to us. 1 couple was a couple I worked with. They sent us their pics and we chuckled but hooked up, we were not compatible but remained friends and still say hi to them when we see them out. The other couple we were good friends with, and when we happened across their profile, we knew we could mess with thier minds a little.(of coarse we didn't sign our names but gave enough info that they knew we knew them.) It didn't take long for them to figure it out and we all had a big laugh about it. We were already good friends, now we are better friends.
	__________________ negacpl

06-26-2003, 01:36 PM	#3 (permalink)
alabamafuntonig Swingers Board Addict Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 1,357 Location: alabama Status: couple	I am pretty sure my next door neibors are swingers. Im almost possitive ,they have given several hints only fellow swingers could pick up on. I have searched hi and low to find a add of them online . so far i think i have found theres . But to my dismay they have not responded to my emails. I wonder if they feel threatend or a little embarrassed. My thoughts are they want to but dont know how to approch us .we will find out on the 4th of july we are going to there cookout and im just going to ask them (mr bama will ask the hubby and mrs bama will ask the wife).

06-26-2003, 10:20 PM	#4 (permalink)
windsor4fun2 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 385 Location: Windsor, Ontario Status: M half of Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:sjjesse2	My wife chated a few times with someone who answered one of our ads. Turned out to be our next door neighbour and long time friends. SURPRISE. Thought we knew everything about each other. We have never played together but often run into each other at clubs.

06-27-2003, 02:41 PM	#7 (permalink)
OhioCouple Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 6,619 Location: Ohio Status: Married Female	We exchanged several e-mail with one couple that we all appeared to be interested in each other. Eventually it came out that the female half and I had been in the same industry and that we knew each other, pretty well. (We found out when we exchanged 'real' names.) That made us all a little uncomfortable because I do still run into the female half several times a year at conventions. We agreed to just be friends and not go any further. We have also met people and swung with people from the pay-site we belong to and then found out later that they were members of this board. Things got a little sticky when I posed a problem on here once and they called to confirm it was them. That is not a situation that I would want to repeat again. Shaking head... NO! NO! NO!
	__________________ Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

07-06-2003, 03:30 PM	#8 (permalink)
wrnakedru Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 1,989 Location: Bliss Status: Female	Actually have had this happen 3 times! All three circumstances were with couples whose correspondence seems to be handled by the male half. (Maybe they are not as good at recalling those already known to them?) All three were with the online contact made by the other couple (male). All three were folks who did not have photos with their profile. Ours has photos, in fact, photos that clearly show our faces. In two of the situations, we were able to identify the senders prior to any photo being sent by them. They had written to us not realizing we already knew each other. In one situation, we had met at a mutual friends home. This friend has numerous parties a year, but there is not a great deal of "partying" that takes place there. The parties are more social than sexual in nature. That contact dwindled down to nothing as it became known who each were, and how we had become acquainted. We believe that this couple chooses to keep their "intimate" activities very private, and realizing we already had a social acquaintance made us no longer "good prospects" for them. The second we could identify was a couple we had met at a Halloween party at on off premises club when all were in costume. We were able to zero in on their identity due to their self description, and town of residence. They were surprised at us being able to identify them, in fact, seemed a bit scared by it. They had written primarily because we had expressed an interest in learning more about nudist camps, and they are regulars at one in the area. The third was a couple who offered to send photos by return mail as soon as receipt of a response was made. The wording of their initial contact did lead us to suspect we were part of a "mass mail out" they had done. We did respond, gave an outside email for photos, and asked some questions. We have never heard back. But in their initial contact, they gave their names. It develops we both belong to a monthly dinner social group. (We have since learned). And having seen their "social demeanor" on more than one occasion, feel like we indeed dodged a bullet there. There has never been any indication on their part that they are even aware they have written to us, so we have let that die gracefully. We humans are funny critters, aren't we?
	Last edited by wrnakedru; 07-06-2003 at 03:34 PM.

07-06-2003, 10:33 PM	#10 (permalink)
vevaycple Here to Stay Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 18 Location: Vevay IN. Status: couple	I had a similar experience happen. Being an outside sales rep, I went to make a cold call on a lead I had received. When I arrived at the trailer they used for an office, the man I was to see was not there. The only person there was the receptionist/office manager lady. She told me she could receive any imformation I had on the equipment they were looking to purchase. When I introduced myself and told her i was from a certain local town, she instantly got this sh.. eating grin on her face and she said. "I think I know you". I replied, "oh"? She said I think we have communicated online. Im starting to squirm now. I asked, "where online"? She just kept this sh.. eating grin on her face and wouldn't answer. The last thing I wanted to do was suggest it might be a certain swing site we frequent. After what seemed like a long long awkward moment, i said it... She replied "yes". Oh gosh my worst nightmare come true. Going into a sales call and recognizing someone or being recognized by someone from the swing site. Well, I lost the sale on the equipment but I did close the deal on her and her husband for us. It was quite awkward but with one under my belt I think I can handle the next one even better.
	__________________ "We say grace and we say maam, if you aint into that we don't give a damn."

07-07-2003, 10:27 AM	#11 (permalink)
alabamafuntonig Swingers Board Addict Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 1,357 Location: alabama Status: couple	reply to next door neibors are swingers. well they are who they say they are on Swing Lifestyle. they were shocked to know we know. but on the other hand they knew we were on there 2 . nothing happend yet but! it leaves a whole new twist to our little neiborhood. im going to tread lightly for now.

01-24-2005, 09:22 AM	#12 (permalink)
RkeVaCpl Registered Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 6 Location: Virginia Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:vacpl42	Re: Someone you know? This has happened to us also..We had emailed with a couple for a while and after sending out pics to each other, we found that we had known them for a few years but had no idea they were in the lifestyle..We did get together and became even better friends..

01-24-2005, 10:14 AM	#13 (permalink)
Handyman69 Here to Stay Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 553 Location: MI..God's country.so we thought. Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:handyman69	Re: Someone you know? This also happened to us. About a year ago we got a reply to our ad on Swing Lifestyle from a couple in Oklahoma. It went on to say that they liked our profile and they visit our area about once a year or so and to check them out and let them know what we thought. We started e-mailing and chatting on yahoo and the woman 1/2 of the couple eventially told me she knew me........then went on to say that she had even been to my house years before (when they had previously live in Michigan...........this about blew us away. I could not for the life of me even begin to know who it could be. Then she told us she use to work with me about 20 yrs ago and I had had a pick-up topper for sale and her and her ex had bought it off me. LOL.........then I remembered who she was. I had thought she was cute then but at the time...........would never even thought about swinging. Well......to make a long story short, they (the woman and her new husband) visited us last July and we had a very nice afternoon. John & Rhonda

02-08-2006, 10:55 PM	#14 (permalink)
Jeffislearning Registered Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 5 Location: Arizona Status: Couple	Re: Someone you know? Would you contact someone you know in "regular" life? DH signed up for this forum after our first experience with soft swinging but we haven't really participated since, life interfered. We both read the boards but neither of us has really felt the desire to partipate again -- if it happens, great; if not, we're still good. We found a picture of some friendly acquaintances on a personals site: do we contact them to let them know we saw it? Do we pretend we never saw it? I personally have no opinion on playing vs not playing with them, I like them either way. I just don't want to lose a friendship over it.

02-09-2006, 04:30 AM	#15 (permalink)
Mike and Jan Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jul 2000 Posts: 364 Location: Florida (north-central) Status: M. Male	Re: Someone you know? Well, if I had vanilla friends and found out that they were in the lifestyle too I'd certainly let them know. Now, I'd be very careful not to make them think that I'm assuming that we might swing together (just in case they really didn't want to) but it'd sure be nice to be able to add this compatibility to our conversations. And if we all did seem to agree on swinging together it'd really be a special treat to already know and like them without sex.
	__________________ 58 years old and married for 34 of 'em. "Caged contentedly, yet still looking out beyond the bars."

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