Why do so few couples include pictures of the male half?

if the couples who post here are similar to most swinger couples (im assuming they are), then the women naturally have just as much to do with finding other couples to play with as the men do. in one thread, the women were saying that it was usually them who act as "social director" for the couple. I would think that, at the very least, the women would be as picky as the men about who they're going to have sex with.

So why do so many ads feature only pics of the female? This makes it seem like swinging is something that is totally dominated by men...like the cliched idea of swinging where 2 guys agree to swap wives for the night. Are women acutally less particular about looks? My wife puts way more importance on looks than i do, but i dont know about anyone else.

[fun_pairTX]

I think women put more emphasis on personalities than men do. The reason that you see more women in the ads is that the male half is the one that puts the ad together.

[Roxysbayou]

I have found that a lot of times when I get a response to an ad, I never seem to get to talk to the women. There is always an excuse about where she is or why she is never online. I am extremely picky about the guy that we swing with, sorry guys I don't mean to stereotype, but that's just me. I will not respond unless I have a picture of both (and not genital shots). I can understand that he may need to remain discreet for family or job related reasons. But if you can't at least send one through email, you can forget ever meeting me. I also very rarely reply to other ads posted. I tend to wait and let them respond to mine. I guess that it's a security thing, that way I feel less obligated to continue if I decided that they are not for me. I know that sounds horrible, I just don't want to hurt anyones feelings. Especially after I initiated contact.
Back to the point, we both have pics of us on our ad, but have friends that don't. He is to insecure about his body. But the way I see it, if he is in this lifestyle, he's going to have to get naked sometime. lol.

[OhioCouple]

Originally posted by Seymore

So why do so many ads feature only pics of the female?

What an excellent question! I don't believe that I have seen this one on here before! Following is my opinion.

As a rule, women are more photogenic and try to be like the girls in the "nudie magazines" when posing. They are more alluring, own more outfits..etc, therefore they draw more hits on the ad, (an objective for sure) .

I can honestly say that the ones we have "clicked" with have been those that had a variety of pictures, which included the those of the male half, all tasefully done. (ie, no genital pics).

For the single males out there, forget the cock shots. So very, very unappealing... The sexiest picture that I have seen by a single male was a rear view of him (tho his head was craned toward the camera) hand painting a wall wearing nothing but a sweatshirt. I get wet just thinking about that picture.

I personally think that the feminine pics are for the guys and the guys in turn show them to their girls. I haven't seen too many pictures that were enticing to me considering the ratio, but my husband enjoys looking at them all.

Lori

[Brit_Pair]

As Lori said, great question.

When we’ve posted adverts with photos (especially in contexts where only one photograph is permitted), we’ve always used one of her, rather than one of me or of us both. Why? Without having thought about it calculatingly, we’ve probably felt that there's a greater inherent beauty and allure to the female form – whether it happens to be dressed in lingerie or completely nude – which will therefore make a more positive (and persuasive) impression on those people reading our advert.

[OhioCouple]

Originally posted by Seymore
I would think that, at the very least, the women would be as picky as the men about who they're going to have sex with.

For some reason I skipped right by this statement when I posted before.

EXACTLY! I want to see a picture of the male half. It isn't that I am so much picky, it is more so that it makes them seem real in my eyes. And a picture of a "swollen member" only tells me that he's a dick with two heads....lower half speaking out loud. Sorry to sound so crude, but that is how I view it.

I do appreciate the posed for sex pictures of the females, but to be quite honest for the most part and the way they are portrayed in pictures...I could easily open up a copy of Playboy or Penthouse and get the same effect. They say nothing to me about the person.

Perhaps I am an odd one, but I get more aroused by pictures of those that are taken while participating in everyday events. I see more seduction in those sort of pictures than I do of scantily clad women or "swollen members".

Lori

[Brit_Pair]

Photographs of men or women that might have been lifted from the pages of Monster Organs or Gynaecological Monthly do little (if anything) for either of us. It takes a photograph with a little more thought (and subtlety) to arouse our interest.

Whoever coined the phrase less is more knew exactly what they were talking about.

[naughty A]

all extremely good points.

our reasons have mostly all ready been mentioned.

we have tons of photos of me(f) and very few of him, even less of us together.

He is much more concerned about implications, repercussions in his work life, and he is more insecure about his body than I am - I agree it is silly since sooner or later you have to get naked but... I'm pretty free about it and he's more repressed (in this aspect any way).

If we actually are going to meet a couple I send a photo of both of us together - G-rated. If they want to see a picture of him before deciding to meet I send the same photo with his face blocked.

For me physical attraction to the female plays a larger part of the over all attraction level but to the male is more heavily weighted in the mental and personality categories. I wonder if this has more to do with the way I as f have sex with both - f-f is body to body & more visual while m-f is face to face ??

I have better artistic taste when it comes to choosing the pictures for our ads too. He'd probably include one or some blow up crotch shots, where I choose the dramatic pose, sexy lingerie more tasteful and more flattering photos. I think it reflects the artistic portion of my personality. I don't include pictures from my everyday life, ie sports/hobbies/dog because until I know these people the less information that is posted in an ad the better.


Naughty A.

[Brit_Pair]

As photographs are very much at the heart of this question, I thought this made for an interesting thread:


Swingers Advice on Sending out Pics

[Handyman69]

I have found that a lot of times when I get a response to an ad, I never seem to get to talk to the women. There is always an excuse about where she is or why she is never online

My husband was taken with this quote. He gets pretty upset with things when all the chatting or correspondence is between me and the guy. We also are not into the x-rated pictures. The size of the guy isn't going to get me to swing with him.

Our ads show "G" rated pictures.

I also very rarely reply to other ads posted. I tend to wait and let them respond to mine. I guess that it's a security thing, that way I feel less obligated to continue if I decided that they are not for me. I know that sounds horrible, I just don't want to hurt anyones feelings. Especially after I initiated contact.

Just to make a comment on this....Roxysbayou. You got to give it a chance. If we followed the idea then none of us would be here. I'm not saying it isn't hard. I hate rejection but have found a couple of nice couples. If we hadn't replied to their ad , then we never would have met each other.


Anyway, to sum it up. We have a pic of each of us. Others will follow once we have chatted or talked. We come as a couple. So we feel both pics are needed.

Rhonda

[Roxysbayou]

I know you are right and we do respond to ads occasionally...hubby more than me probably. We have met some really great people. And some that I had to actually block from my IM. But that's another story, lol.

We always try to be in the room together when we chat with others. And I always ask who of the couple it is that I am talking to, before the conversation gets going. Hubby gets very frustrated as well when we only get to talk to the men.

And we have several pics of each of us on our ad, that way responders can be sure of what they are getting. I try to be honest with everyone that we talk to, and still chat with several, even though may not be for us.

Our pay site has a feature that allows users to block pics, except for certain people that have been given permission to view them. We chose not to use this feature. And find it frustrating when people do. For instance one couple only allows viewers to see his wifes feet in heels...lol. Doesn't tell me much about them.

[naughty A]

"one couple only allows viewers to see his wifes feet in heels...lol. Doesn't tell me much about them."

I would assume from this that chances are HE has a foot fetish.

Naughty A.

[teknurse]

In doing a search for couples on a swinger site in our area I have noticed that there are twice as many ladies than men with pictures posted. I dont really understand why a couple would post as a couple and the only put pictures of one or the other on the site. In a couple instances the female of the couple has had several photos of various stage of undress and the male is not pictured at all.
A friend said this is because more people search the site to see the ladies pictures to establish physical attraction. I dont believe its true, especially couples looking for couples.

Is this common everywhere? Or is it just my imagination?

Personally I love the male and female body and I hope to see more of both.

[jdf7379]

Good thouht...We always posted J's pic, but never mine...I wouldn't be against it knowing that more women were intrested in such.

[Roxysbayou]

We post pics of us both. We are playing as a couple so people need to see the whole package in my opinion. I do not give any serious responses until I get a satisfactory pic of both. No genital shots that sort of thing. I would probably respond more often if others did post pics of him. T i be honest there are not many women that I would not play with...lol. I think they are all beautiful, but men, thats a different story. I know that Bob123 is going to get me for saying that but its true. I don't want someone overly aggressive or someone that looks like my dad. I prefer for them to have most of their teeth, lol. I am just picky about men, I can't help it.