Build your own swinger site

[JustAskJulie]

I was reading some comments in this thread regarding what folks do and don't like in various swinger sites that they use, and thought why not.

So here it is. Build your own swinger site. If you were building your own site, what features would you include? What things that you've seen in other sites would you change? What would you make sure you didn't include.

Fire away!

[Roxysbayou]

Ok...lol...I think that I have checked out nearly every site that's out there a time or two by now.

I love Who's On with picture icons that show up on the seach. I also like it when it shows their sexual preference and age. And of course city/state and miles from me. I especially like the Who's Online with Pictures feature on Swappernet. Very cool.

It's also cool in a search when it shows that they are online and what they are looking at.

I think everybody knows by now that I hate the private photos, but I can understand it for those who need to be discreet.

I like having a history link on the profiles that allows me to see what conversation I may have already had with someone, because I am very forgetful and get confused on what I said to who.

I like the auto typed responses on Swappernet. That sure saves a lot of time. And I like that I can change them and save my changes.

I don't ever use the friends feature, so I find it to be useless. I do add my buddies to it, but I never bother to check it.

I think that onsite IM's are pointless too, I end up giving everybody my yahoo anyway. I don't think that I have ever even turned theirs on. (Swing Lifestyle) I never use the chat rooms, and none of them have a good forum. But how can they compete with this one?

I love the layout of the Swing Lifestyle profiles, they are very easy to read and simple. I find most others to be to jumbled and set up poorly.

I don't like the ones that show your personal e-mail address. I have an alternate e-mail that I use just for those.

One site, and I can't remember which one off hand, had "stickers" that you could put on profiles to catagorize them as you wanted. And then search by those stickers. That was pertty cool.

I also like the ones that organize local events for socials and parties.

Basically I don't see the point in joining more than 1 or 2 because it seems as if the same people are on all of them. Or have at least been on them at some point.

I guess that's enough for now. I am sure there is something that I am forgetting...lol.

[frenzb4sex]

I think a conglomerate view of what works best...

Who's On and a friends feature is nice, because you can pinpoint others that you are already buddies with and start up a conversation with them. On the other hand, this is a BAD thing, since if you really don't want to talk to people, you can't avoid them since they KNOW that you are actively at your computer.

Forums just like these are awesome. Swappernet used to have one but it got so ridiculous like a playground (literally) they pulled it. Now then, the one that is on swing village, that's great, even though it is extreeeeeeeeeemely cliquey.

Online chat rooms at each site seem to work well, even though it seems that you are always chatting with someone who's about 9 hours away from you *sigh*.

Wow, I have just listed strong points and deflated them all. Nevermind.

LMAO

Tim

[SnSnLex]

We happen to be doing this very thing. It will be a semi local only thing, 125 mile radius of us. swingnlex.com

What really matters is if the script allows you to incorporate what you want to do into it. Some will, some won't. The prices are what will really throw you, low end $39, high end $15,000+. Per site.

We like Swappernet the most out of all sites we have been on, Swing Lifestyle is a close second. They are both user friendly, have many options, and are well priced. Nothing that we don't like about them, just some features we don't use, like the forum, the chats, travel/looking pages, and the toy ads.

We would like to see an option to limit everyone outside of a certain radius from contacting you. Everyone has their own limits to traveling. Why do we want mail from someone 1900 miles away? We don't. But we still get it.

BTW... still looking for a script in our budget that does the latter

[JustAskJulie]

When it comes to building a site the ONLY way to get what you want is to hire a programmer and have them build the script to match what you are looking for.

There are many limitations with "out of the box" scripts, beyond whether or not they have all the features you want... the biggest one being whether or not they are "open source" meaning do they allow you to edit their code to add the features you want. Any website you set up needs to be able to grow and change to meet the needs of the users and unfortunately there are always things you don't think of or don't realize you need until the site is up and running. If you have software that you can change and add to then great.... if not then you may be looking at starting over again completely from scratch.

The best sites you see out there (ie. Swappernet, Swing Lifestyle, SexAds, etc) were all created from scratch. In the case of Swing Lifestyle (for sure) the programmer/ designer is the male half of the couple who runs the site. I think that is really what has helped them grow as fast as they have, simply because anytime there is a problem HE can fix it instead of waiting for someone else do it.... or if he wants a feature added, he can do it instead of paying someone else do it. It keeps the costs down and allows things to get done in a much more timely manner.

I know there are one or two others around here that would probably give you that same advice after attempting to set up sites of their own and never getting anywhere.

[tazzie_n_truck]

We have checked out a bunch of swinger sites on-line, and so far this site by far is the best we have seen. We are co-owners of a couple South Dakota swingers groups on yahoo, those are nice because it is more central to where we live, but we like this site because we get a chance to interact with other swingers around the world. And we love the message boards here.

Just gotta say Julie, keep up the great work. We love it here, and are getting close to that free t-shirt. lol

[wrnakedru]

I don't think most folks do a very thorough job of writing a complete profile, so I think the more a site can help in that regard, the better. And most folks will make use of the drop down choices. I would like to see two options added to every choice, however. One of "Prefer not to answer" plus a blank one where you can fill in your own response if none of the choices given are exactly right for you.

We are interested in knowing if a couple is married - and not many sites actually ask that. We want to know how long they have been together. Some sites don't guide folks about those kind of answers - so you have no idea whether a couple is TRULY a couple in a LTR - and just presenting themselves as a couple for the purpose of activity.

I wish sites culled through the profiles on a regular basis and removed those from folks who have not even visited the site for months. Many sites allow a trial period, but don't bother removing the profiles from those who only utilize it for the trial period. I know it enables them to state higher membership numbers by doing that - - but it is a waste of time to view the profiles of folks who are not ongoing, viable members.

We are smokers and want to know if others are as well. And if they are not - are they still smoker friendly, or violently opposed.

All the things that people need to know about one another to decide if there is common ground - - those would be so helpful to have included as "check off" type options. I don't think folks deliberately exclude such information - but many don't think to include it.

I wish no site would allow "No Single Men" to be typed more than once in a profile. If a couple doesn't want to hear from single men, they can be blocked. If a guy is interested in writing based solely on enjoying the photos attached, he often hasn't read the profile anyway - so it doesn't matter how many times the admonishment has been repeated. And if they don't want to block them because they do have some friends in that category - well, they don't have to respond to anyone they don't want to.

I prefer that a site has the availability of making some photos private. I prefer graphic nudity photos as private to be shared with those you might designate only. Hubby enjoys viewing photos of that type and has no problem with them being public. But when the option is available, he will make use of it.

I like the validation/certification option but without social details. Simply a "this profile is a valid couple" type thing. And I think there should be a limit of the validations - around five should do it. [Have seen one with 160 certifications - ]

[JustAskJulie]

With new personals sites popping up every day, are there any new features that you are seeing that you just love? Or hate?

[Carol_Danny]

I will be watching this thread quite closely. Our new site was built from scratch, and entirely on feedback and comments from others. We built it in a way as to leave it quite open to change, add or remove sections. We constantly ask for feedback, and respond to that feedback.

So, I really would love to hear what people like, don't like, or would like to see in a Adult Community & Lifestyles type website.

-- Danny

[Pepper & Drew]

We have really liked a lot of the features on www.sexxymofo.com. You not only can see how many times you've been viewed, but exactly who viewed you, and how many times they've viewed you. You can put a listing on your profile showing which parties you're going to. There are also 3 levels of pictures: ones that everyone (free, paid, etc) can see, ones that only those who are not only paying members, but also have been validated can see, and then there's password-protected pics. That's nice because we wouldn't want any lookie-loo to see our faces, but we would be more likely to put them up in the second level. You can put on your "booty call" light so that you can let people know that you're interested in going out that night and would be interested in hooking up. I'm sure there's other features too, but we haven't been on the site long enough. Swing Lifestyle is still the best in our area, but we really like some of the features on sexxymofo.

Pepper

[jennandjamesinm]

Originally Posted by Pepper & Drew

We have really liked a lot of the features on www.sexxymofo.com. You not only can see how many times you've been viewed, but exactly who viewed you, and how many times they've viewed you. You can put a listing on your profile showing which parties you're going to. There are also 3 levels of pictures: ones that everyone (free, paid, etc) can see, ones that only those who are not only paying members, but also have been validated can see, and then there's password-protected pics. That's nice because we wouldn't want any lookie-loo to see our faces, but we would be more likely to put them up in the second level. You can put on your "booty call" light so that you can let people know that you're interested in going out that night and would be interested in hooking up. I'm sure there's other features too, but we haven't been on the site long enough. Swing Lifestyle is still the best in our area, but we really like some of the features on sexxymofo.

Pepper

I have to agree with Pepper - while Swing Lifestyle is still the best - Sexxymofo has some real interesting features that we like.

Jenn

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by Pepper & Drew

We have really liked a lot of the features on www.sexxymofo.com. You not only can see how many times you've been viewed, but exactly who viewed you, and how many times they've viewed you. You can put a listing on your profile showing which parties you're going to. There are also 3 levels of pictures: ones that everyone (free, paid, etc) can see, ones that only those who are not only paying members, but also have been validated can see, and then there's password-protected pics. That's nice because we wouldn't want any lookie-loo to see our faces, but we would be more likely to put them up in the second level. You can put on your "booty call" light so that you can let people know that you're interested in going out that night and would be interested in hooking up. I'm sure there's other features too, but we haven't been on the site long enough. Swing Lifestyle is still the best in our area, but we really like some of the features on sexxymofo.

Pepper

I believe that Swing Lifestyle also now has an option to add which parties you attend to your profile. I think they've always had several options for pics, although I don't know how that is now, or if they are still sticking with the R rated only with the recent law changes.

It's always interesting to see the new features that sites come up with. There are some that I'd really like to see go by the wayside. It seems like some sites go out of their way to make things complicated with too many options.

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by Pepper & Drew

You not only can see how many times you've been viewed, but exactly who viewed you, and how many times they've viewed you.

I would never belong to a site that lets members know who has viewed their profile and how many times they've done so. That is way too much information that isn't necessary.

What do you do then? Write them and say "why are you looking at me so much? Or, I see your viewing my profile so why have you never written? Or, do you want to get together or not, you're always looking at my profile?"

One of the comforts of searching for compatible people through an ad site is that you can do it privately.

If I had a site, the default pictures would have to contain a picture of YOU - not a cartoon, or your Harley, or some picture taken off the net. Also, no genital pictures, the same rule the Swingers Board has.

LM

[Pepper & Drew]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

I would never belong to a site that lets members know who has viewed their profile and how many times they've done so. That is way too much information that isn't necessary.

What do you do then? Write them and say "why are you looking at me so much? Or, I see your viewing my profile so why have you never written? Or, do you want to get together or not, you're always looking at my profile?"

One of the comforts of searching for compatible people through an ad site is that you can do it privately.

If I had a site, the default pictures would have to contain a picture of YOU - not a cartoon, or your Harley, or some picture taken off the net. Also, no genital pictures, the same rule the Swingers Board has.

LM

You say, "hey, I saw you've seen our profile, and yours caught our eye too." Sometimes we see interesting couples, but don't write to them because we think they wouldn't be interested because they've said something in their profile that doesn't match us, as in, we're younger or older than their profile asks for or because they talk about being soft swap, and we're full swap or they talk about no interracial couples, etc. If they've viewed your profile a lot, they've at least entertained the idea of meeting. It's just another way of finding out who's interested, and may prompt some contact.

Or, you can just do nothing...

The feature has worked well for us, if for nothing else but a way to search for different profiles to look at.

Pepper

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by Pepper & Drew

You say, "hey, I saw you've seen our profile, and yours caught our eye too." Sometimes we see interesting couples, but don't write to them because we think they wouldn't be interested because they've said something in their profile that doesn't match us, as in, we're younger or older than their profile asks for or because they talk about being soft swap, and we're full swap or they talk about no interracial couples, etc. If they've viewed your profile a lot, they've at least entertained the idea of meeting. It's just another way of finding out who's interested, and may prompt some contact.

Or, you can just do nothing...

The feature has worked well for us, if for nothing else but a way to search for different profiles to look at.

Pepper

Pepper ~

I can see where knowing who is viewing your site could prompt commuicating with someone when you otherwise may have hesitated to do so.


I'll tell you why I wouldn't like it. It would embarrass me and KEEP me from checking out people I find appealing, or disturbing (because of how they post in forums) because I do spy on oddballs , or a whole lot of other reasons that make me blush.

Example: There is this very hot single guy on a site we belong to, he is in his late 20's, his profile is so sharp, funny, unique, I think I'd love spending time getting to know him. I check his profile a couple times a day to see if he's changed it, added new pics, or posted in the forum. I'd NEVER keep opening his profile if I knew he knew I was "watching" him! I'd feel like I was in junior high telling my best girlfriend about every dreamy thought I have about this guy I have a crush on and then she goes and tells him EVERYTHING!

So there you go, I have admitted my junior high side that still lives in this 50+ year old woman.

LM