No luck with AFF

[colorado_cpl]

We are on AFF as hdankuu. We have a gold membership and some nice pics (took many of them down recently).

We've contacted pretty much EVERYONE in a 50 mile radius of where we live. Most couples won't even return our message. The ones who do return our message will completely ignore us after one or two emails/IM's.

We are both good looking, well educated, very flexible, very open, etc.

Is it "normal" for EVERYONE to blow us off? It's pretty frustrating and frankly, not worth it.

Thinking about giving up.....

[TNT]

We ourselves never had much luck with AFF but, some people report that they have had great success with it.

Most ad sites seem to be geared to a certain region. For us, Swing Lifestyle is a very popular ad site in our area and we've had lots of luck with it.

I'd suggest trying different ad sites until you find one that works for the area you are in. Most have a trial membership which should give you a chance to see if it's going to be worth your money for a full membership.

Also, clubs and socials are a great way to meet people. If there's one near you check it out.

Teresa

[colorado_cpl]

We are also on Swing Lifestyle as free members. No luck there either....

[erotic.couple]

Originally Posted by colorado_cpl

We are on AFF as hdankuu. We have a gold membership and some nice pics (took many of them down recently).

We've contacted pretty much EVERYONE in a 50 mile radius of where we live. Most couples won't even return our message. The ones who do return our message will completely ignore us after one or two emails/IM's.

We are both good looking, well educated, very flexible, very open, etc.

Is it "normal" for EVERYONE to blow us off? It's pretty frustrating and frankly, not worth it.

Thinking about giving up.....

(Just joined here)

We too have been looking for a bit, but we don't have any luck either. People are either too pushy, too experienced, or just not our type. It can be very frustrating, to say the least.
So far, none of the sites have given us anything we desire. This is why we only bothered to sign up at one site! Seems all the same couples - are at the same sites!

E.C.

[colorado_cpl]

How pushy is too pushy?

In our profile, we say that we want to MEET not CHAT. Is that being pushy? Once we've chatted for 10+ minutes, we either want to end the conversation, or we want to meet. We tell the other couple that right up front.

We just went for a walk around the block and discussed this. We are going to let our AFF membership expire and visit more local clubs.

[LFM2]

Originally Posted by colorado_cpl

We are on AFF as hdankuu. We have a gold membership and some nice pics (took many of them down recently).

We've contacted pretty much EVERYONE in a 50 mile radius of where we live. Most couples won't even return our message. The ones who do return our message will completely ignore us after one or two emails/IM's.

We are both good looking, well educated, very flexible, very open, etc.

Is it "normal" for EVERYONE to blow us off? It's pretty frustrating and frankly, not worth it.

Thinking about giving up.....

I just browsed your profile, and to be honest, there is just something that isn't right about it. I can't explain what, but it almost sounds demanding. Also, a pet peeve of mine is that in the first line, you speak of yourselves in first person, then in the second sentence, you're in third person, like you're describing the neighbors. It sounds picky, but instead, you could say, "We are both..." back into first person.

Originally Posted by colorado_cpl

How pushy is too pushy?

In our profile, we say that we want to MEET not CHAT. Is that being pushy? Once we've chatted for 10+ minutes, we either want to end the conversation, or we want to meet. We tell the other couple that right up front.

Like us, some people are not able to MEET as quickly as you like. I know what you mean about endless chatting, but to some, that is all they can do because they have jobs and children and are maybe not as free as you are to meet up anytime you'd like. We just met the most delicious man, yet it took us weeks to meet because Mr. LFM was fighting forest fires. He was the most patient gentleman, understood and the evening was a blast when we finally did get together. It was actually worth the wait. If the tables were turned and the other man had wanted to meet earlier than we could have, he might have missed out on a great time as well. It doesn't mean he has to stay celibate for us -- Hell, we wouldn't.

Originally Posted by colorado_cpl

We just went for a walk around the block and discussed this. We are going to let our AFF membership expire and visit more local clubs.

That's totally up to you guys if you want to shut down your profile, but I think it has potential. I notice that there are no pics of the male half of your couple up. When couples are browsing for other couples, it helps if both have pics. They don't have to be X-rated, but G-rated or PG-rated pics work well. People just want a general idea of what you're like.

You might want to browse other profiles, see how they write theirs, get some ideas and kinda go from there and personalize it to make it yours. Do you know what I mean? This really helped us and it helped us sort out what we really want.

[JustAskJulie]

Before you give up swinging altogether, I would suggest trying other means to meet people - mainly clubs or socials. For those who don't like the endless back and forth of online clubs are a much better option.

I have used both. For us, we don't like to chat online, but we will email back and forth and we do want to meet but hey, we have lives outside of swinging, just like we hope that you do and sometimes those lives get in the way. We will tell you that upfront and yes if you feel that you should chat with us one time (or email one time) and then we should meet that is too pushy/ demanding and we probably won't meet at all. If we email back and forth once and we want to meet you and we can meet you that weekend, we're up for it.... but it's rare that things work out that way. You have to stop and realize that everyone can't work on your schedule.

Clubs really may be a better option for you, because you will be able to meet with people and chat with them face to face... if one couple doesn't suit you move on to the next.

[colorado_cpl]

After serveral in-person encounters, we can't name a single one that was really good. In fact, we've only met one couple more than once and they ended up having marriage problems, then had a kid....

Not to mention the risk of pregnancy and STD's.

Thanks for the advice on the profile though. We'll have to update it - at least until it expires on AFF. We had full body face and nude pics of both of us on there, but we removed them.

We have sooooo much more going on in our life. In fact, we own and run a large VBulletin forum (completely different topic though). ((need help upgrading this one?))

Trying to be optimistic here, but it's not happening...

[JustAskJulie]

I think the important thing is to not let swinging become too important. If you don't tie yourself to the outcome and just go with it... see what happens and make the point to be to add something that you are doing together (whether it's just reading profiles/ replying to ads or actually swinging) you will find some enjoyment. However, it should never get in the way of the rest of your life. There is too much in life to let swinging become important enough to stress out over.

[Tybee Swing]

Hi Colorado cpl,

We're gold members of AFF, too. We've had great luck there. I responded to you directly via email on AFF. Best wishes to you!

[iapr]

I would second the suggestion of going to clubs. At a club the people that are availble and interested in meeting other people are right there in front of you. That does not mean that they will be attracted to you are you to them but at least they are there and tying up bandwidth chatting.

[ShellyM]

OP, we tried aff and HATED it. We found only fakers on that site, just us. We have had a lot of luck with Swing Lifestyle....and we know alot of people on couples touch that are real so that one seems to be a good one. You have to find a site that is pretty reputable. And then there are tips that we go by. We look at a few things in a profile: are they paid or free. How long have they been on site....i mean, if they have been members since 2003 and there are no certifications to their being real people we are leery. But I would try another site. Also remember to try meet and greets, they are a fun way to meet people. Clubs are nice as well, you have fun there.
Shelly

[colorado_cpl]

Update


We've slowed down a little, but are still discouraged.

4 new couples in our area have initiated contact with us FIRST, then aren't responding to AFF email or yahoo IM after what appeared to be very nice conversations..... We've been very friendly and nice with them, but now - nothing. We see them sign in and out of both yahoo IM and AFF so we know they are online. It's not like we are being pests or anything either...

We understand that not all couples are like that. But come on - this is ridiculous.

Planning to visit a local club on wednesday evening and will report back what happens. We've been to the club several times with mixed results....

[lovinher]

My intent here is not offend you in any way. But you came here for opinions so I'll give you mine. I don't think you need a degree in swinging to form an opinion on this.
Someway, somehow you may be scaring people off. You say people have made first contact with you so I don't think looks are a problem. You also say after a conversation or two they disappear.
There ya go.
Now I have no clue as to what you could be doing or saying wrong but it may be something you need to work on. I know there are a lot of fakes and freaks out there but your situation seems extreme.
If a couple contacts you, they liked your profile and must have had some physical attraction to even bother. The problem after that may be on your end, not theirs.

I think the important thing is to not let swinging become too important. If you don't tie yourself to the outcome and just go with it... see what happens and make the point to be to add something that you are doing together (whether it's just reading profiles/ replying to ads or actually swinging) you will find some enjoyment. However, it should never get in the way of the rest of your life. There is too much in life to let swinging become important enough to stress out over.
__________________
Julie
Owner/ Admin

Words to live by.

[colorado_cpl]

I'll post a conversation or two (leaving out the usernames). Maybe that will help????