Why so few replies to our Swing Lifestyle e-mails?

[nice_cpl_n_bama]

Hello all,
I've been looking over our sent mail list on Swing Lifestyle and I've noticed something I find a little annoying. It seems like I send out 10 or 15 emails to get one reply. I'm not talking about dates, I mean REPLIES!
Is that about the normal ratio or am I doing something wrong? We have some nice face pics on all our profiles. We're not supermodels, but we aren't two headed trolls either. Most of the people we go out with comment on how nice looking we are.
My usual first email goes something like this.
Hello.
We saw your profile and thought we should introduce ourselves. You can see our pics and profile at (screen name or link).
It sounds like we are looking for the same things.
We'd love to hear from you. You can leave us an email at (screen name or email address) or you can IM us. We are also nice_cpl_n_bama on yahoo and MSN.
We're looking forward to hearing from you
Jeff and Laurie

Are we doing something wrong or are most people just that bad about answering email? We answer every email we get and usually with a real reply instead of one of the quick prewritten ones.
What are your thoughts?

[ItTakes3]

We used to answer every e-mail, but finally decided that most of them were mass mailings, hoping for a bite. Our profile makes it perfectly clear that she is only interested in tall, single men with hair on their head and none on their face. Constantly receiving letters from bald, bearded, married-and-cheating, dwarfs suggests that the writer is probably not reading our profile. If they don't care enough to read about us, I see no reason to respond.

That might not be your situation, but in our case it is.

[curiousagain]

Some people reply to every email and some don't reply to any they are interested in, some are just on there to see how many emails they get, etc. etc. etc. The reasons someone doesn't answer can be varied and isn't always about anyone.

[sexychoclit]

I reply to every e-mail. It is usually a canned remark unless I am interested in the person/couple, in that case I send them a personal message. To me it is the right thing to do so that people are sitting, waiting for a reply that will never come. At least they can receive the reply and move on.

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by nice_cpl_n_bama

My usual first email goes something like this.

Hello.

We saw your profile and thought we should introduce ourselves.
It sounds like we are looking for the same things. We'd love to hear from you.

Hi Jeff and Laurie ~

My first thought is that the e-mail you send (above, minus the contact info) is very canned. There isn't anything about it that lets the receiver know you've read their profile. Mentioning specifically what you feel you have in common, commenting on something you found in their profile, and sharing a little more about yourselves that's not in your profile would probably help get more response from people.

Telling people "you can see our pics and profile at (screen name or link)" is unnecessary because that's a given. And including all the ways to contact you comes across as pushy and way too eager to me. It also makes me think you are more interested in chatting than meeting.

I took a look at your profile and even though I think you are trying to add some humor by saying "Mean people suck! And not in a good way. " I feel this took your otherwise upbeat profile on a down note. It suggests you've had some bad experiences in the lifestyle, something I don't feel you should ever advertise in a profile.

Your mention of being allergic to smoke and saying "If you are [a smoker] you'll just have to be careful not to trigger her allergies" left me wondering how will a smoker know how to avoid that? I envision something awful happening to you and I'd think no smoker would contact you because of a concern for this. So if you've been writing to smokers, this may be one reason they don't reply.

The comments about teeth. That left me with a bad taste in my mouth. I think people reading your profile who were considering you up to that point would stop there and decide not to write back. I think you'd be better leaving that out.

LM

[good times]

We usually reply to emails we get on Swing Lifestyle, we used to reply to all of them. Swing Lifestyle has grown a lot in the last year or so though, and now days we will sometimes just delete emails from people who obviously didn't read our profile. The one we are getting the most of lately that we don't reply to is the couples that state in their profile that they are looking for girl/girl play only, for some reason we are getting a bunch of those lately. They shouldn't even have to read our whole profile for it to be clear we are both totally straight.

So, as far as not responding to someone, that would be the only reason we wouldn't. As we haven't actually ever contacted someone else first on an add site, I can't say whether what you are experiencing is normal or not.

[Tybee Swing]

Nice cpl,

I have to concur about the teeth comments in your profile. Describing all the shades of teeth that turn you off and suggesting that they get a cosmetic dentist is - well, it's not very nice.

[sexyshelby]

I think your email is very short and sweet, maybe just a tad too much so. Try to elaborate a little on why you are contacting them, what you have in common, why they should meet you (without sounding too much like a salesman).

~SS

[JustAskJulie]

I have to ditto a few other comments. Your email sounds canned. Without even looking at your profile and commenting on that, I would say take more time with your email and try to actually include something in it that you noticed from their profile, something you have in common, something that stood out about them, or even something you noticed in a picture, but add something so that they KNOW you read their profile and aren't just emailing everyone in your area the same thing.

Beyond that, you may want to take a look at your profile and read it the way that others would read it and ask yourself how you would respond to it.

[havefuninsun]

Yep -- all good advice. Even though we try to personalize our "standard" email message, we still get few replies. It's the nature of dating online. Just keep plugging (excuse the pun ) along ...

[sexcupid]

I agree with others about the email sounding canned. Mine usually starts out with "We liked your profile..." and then mentions something specific (one of the last had a super cute, looked like a 'musketeer' outfit...and that was what I mentioned)...

As for the teeth comment...well I know mine are fairly pristine compared to what you described, so I might get a good laugh out of it on a profile I was reading. However, maybe just ammend the whole thing to "HYGEINE is important"?

And discussing sexual exploits at Ryans? heh heh heh...I'm sure that Jeff and I have traumatized plenty of waitstaff with the snippets of things they have overheard, but never loud enough to let other patrons know what we've done. lmao

With all that said, I do try to respond to all messages we get (even if it is a thanks, but no thanks) as a courtesy. Especially on Swing Lifestyle where you can see when someone read your message. I (and I think most other people) understand that maybe one checks the site, then waits to show it to their SO at a later time...that's ok. But if it's something you are not looking for and you know immediately, well I see no sense in ignoring that email, send 'em a reply and say no thanks. But that's just me.

Maria

[28volts]

I do the same..pick something from the profile that catches my attention and send them a response. I do tell people if we are interested in them or just saying hello,luv the pics, no invite. If they don't respond then that is their loss. I put notes on profiles to let me know who's ok and a possible match to whose a possible fake.

Little note for sexcupid " GO SPURS"

Mr S

[nice_cpl_n_bama]

Thanks for the advice everybody. I've wondered if the rant on teeth was a bit harsh. I'll try to smooth that out a bit.
By the way, the full details on the Ryans story go like this. We were sitting at a table. In the chair behind the guy almost back to back with him is a little girl about 10 years old. The guy was going on in a loud voice about how he liked to have sex with male construction workers on his lunch break.
It was the most embarassing moment of my life. I didn't know whether to just slink away quietly, punch him in the nose, or just be sick.
Maybe I went a little overboard in trying to prevent a repeat of that nightmare.

[Lovers4U]

I understand most reaction to the profile statements about hygiene and teeth etc, and perhaps because we consider that very important to concern ourselves with is perhaps why we also don't get many responses. We have attempted throughout our lives to live healthy and not smoke as we feel it allows us to love longer. We are both in the medical field as providers and seeing what smoking does to a person over the long time we choose to not intimately relate to them except as just friends. Where I work I see too many males and females who do not take care of their genital area and we choose, again, not to be intimate with them. Cleanliness often can't be seen unless the clothes come off and we choose not to embarrass anyone by saying NO the first time. Perhaps we are pickey but we have fun with couples and others, though infrequent, that allows us to continue to play in the environment that is conducive to our desires.
We do not condemn any persons who do not choose to play within our strict rules and I know they have fun. For us we just choose a different route.

[Me_n_her_In_Mo]

Our profile states SINGL GUYS WE'LL CONTACT YOU, but still over 90% of our emails are from single guys. Couples always get a prompt reply