Blocking on Swing Lifestyle

[havefuninsun]

I had a very odd thing happen yesterday.

I emailed a couple on Swing Lifestyle. I noticed when I emailed them that their profile was a free one. All of our pics are private. It was a simple "Hi" email, telling them a little more about us than our profile says. Him or her emails back and says "that's all good but, no pics! not a very good way to start." That was startling. I then noticed they had paid their membership. So, I open our private pics for them and emailed them back, explaining that because they were free members earlier in the day, I would have been happy to have emailed them pics, but now I can share them via Swing Lifestyle. They emailed back and said "it appears we're not compatible at this time." OK -- so they don't like the pics. Big deal. I then went to click on their profile again and they had blocked us.

We've never been blocked. We don't harass people. I don't think *we've* ever even blocked anyone (although I do have our profile blocked from single men, just because that's not our focus) -- we've been lucky and don't get harassed either.

As taken aback as I was, I started wondering if some people look at the block feature as kind of a weeding tool -- you know, go through, block the ones you don't want to hear from, and manage the profiles that way. Personally, it seems like a lot of work (there are enough couples in our region that I could spend DAYS doing this), and, you never know who you're making a snap decision on. The one thing I've learned is that it's not as simple as I thought to find compatible couples, and sometimes the ones I would think would not be likely candidates have turned out to be fun.

So now that I've quit taking this personally (LOL), what are your thoughts? Is blocking a management tool? Do you use it often? Inquiring minds want to know ...

[SJK977]

We've only used the block feature on a few couples or single males who continued to contact us after we made it known to them that we were not interested. Not many though, just the ones who didn't get it and tried multiple contacts with us, ignoring our initial reply. I mean, just because you're not interested is no reason to block, right? For us, we only use it if they are disrespectful or have reached the point where it feels like they are harassing us.

[havefuninsun]

Originally Posted by SJK977

We've only used the block feature on a few couples or single males who continued to contact us after we made it known to them that we were not interested. Not many though, just the ones who didn't get it and tried multiple contacts with us, ignoring our initial reply. I mean, just because you're not interested is no reason to block, right? For us, we only use it if they are disrespectful or have reached the point where it feels like they are harassing us.

That's how I would use it. Early on, before we figured out you could block groups (i.e., single men), I may have blocked one or two ... I just can't remember now. And because of how we'd use it, I was just taken aback at being blocked. I would have either not replied to their last message, or replied with "good luck with your search" or "hope you find what you're looking for" -- nothing more, nothing less.

Maybe it's paranoia or something -- or they could have had a bad experience.

[The Fuse]

Hi havefuninsun,

We've had this happen once as well... A couple wrote to us, we sent back a polite no thank you, and they blocked us. We do think they used it as a management tool. I was taken aback for about two seconds, and then realized they were just filtering us out. If people would just put a note on profiles of people who've had no interest, they wouldn't need to do that, but lots of people don't. We have gotten emails from couples we turned down over six months ago, so they could have used a little bookkeeping :-). The mail archive sometimes disappears, so it's not too hard to forget emailing someone months ago. I try to use notes on every profile we either write to or have written to.

Swing Lifestyle has a new tool for ratings -- the little stars you see when you look under the area for your notes and "Mail...Block... ". The tool is available to paid members. The rating for "No interest", with the little red "x", lets you filter out those couples when you do a search. Sort of the same thing, and seems more polite.

[JustAskJulie]

I think I posted here a month or so back about our experience with getting blocked. We were as startled as you were to find that a couple had blocked us and their overall attitude. I too would think that the block feature would be primarily used to block people who are harrassing you or who just keep emailing over and over again (same thing I guess). But I do think some just automatically block people when they decide that they don't want to hear from them.

[good times]

This is actually done by a quite a lot of couples in our area. If they email you and you decline then they block you. Like others here at first we kind of took it personally but after thinking about it we decided it is just as well.

[VegasLee]

I personally would not get upset about being blocked at all.

It is someone on the Internet that you don't even know. They don't really matter in your life. Why give them any control at all over your emotions?

[havefuninsun]

Originally Posted by VegasLee

I personally would not get upset about being blocked at all.

It is someone on the Internet that you don't even know. They don't really matter in your life. Why give them any control at all over your emotions?

Exactly. It was just surprising. After having our profile up for a year and a half, I reckon we're lucky it hasn't happened until now.

I like how Mrs. Fuse is managing profiles (with the new built-in features). Much more simpler than having to rely on past email correspondence.

[WesternSwing]

We do not use the blocking tool unless it is someone who has insulted us, like some single males that when we've told them we're not compatible (and we do see single males, so it's the person, not the single male status) they get all snippity and say things like "is your husband afraid my cock is bigger then his and you'll like it better with me". Okay... we really did have that one recently.

But even if we reply "sorry we're not compatible" we never block people. Just because we're not sexually attracted to you doesn't mean we're not socially attracted to you. We may love to party with you, we're just not into you in the sexual sense. If we blocked people we'd offend them and eventually we'd meet them at a party (it is a small world after all) and we'd be the asshole couple who blocked them and don't even know them.

And, simply, that's not us.

Mr. WS

[tribbles]

I've used it as a management tool.

When I click 'who's on' and up pops a bunch of profiles with notes, it's still means scrolling past them.

Blocking them is the easy way to make them invisible to me.

S

[Mr. Truelove]

Originally Posted by havefuninsun

I had a very odd thing happen yesterday.

I emailed a couple on Swing Lifestyle. I noticed when I emailed them that their profile was a free one. All of our pics are private. It was a simple "Hi" email, telling them a little more about us than our profile says. Him or her emails back and says "that's all good but, no pics! not a very good way to start." That was startling. I then noticed they had paid their membership. So, I open our private pics for them and emailed them back, explaining that because they were free members earlier in the day, I would have been happy to have emailed them pics, but now I can share them via Swing Lifestyle. They emailed back and said "it appears we're not compatible at this time." OK -- so they don't like the pics. Big deal. I then went to click on their profile again and they had blocked us.

We've never been blocked. We don't harass people. I don't think *we've* ever even blocked anyone (although I do have our profile blocked from single men, just because that's not our focus) -- we've been lucky and don't get harassed either.

As taken aback as I was, I started wondering if some people look at the block feature as kind of a weeding tool -- you know, go through, block the ones you don't want to hear from, and manage the profiles that way. Personally, it seems like a lot of work (there are enough couples in our region that I could spend DAYS doing this), and, you never know who you're making a snap decision on. The one thing I've learned is that it's not as simple as I thought to find compatible couples, and sometimes the ones I would think would not be likely candidates have turned out to be fun.

So now that I've quit taking this personally (LOL), what are your thoughts? Is blocking a management tool? Do you use it often? Inquiring minds want to know ...

We had a similar situation. Someone mailed us, we politely turned them down. And now we have been blocked ever since.

All I can think of is they are using it as a weeding tool. I don't think a lot of people do this, but I imagine that some do.

Mr. Truelove

[prettylady]

I used a block for the first time yesterday, while doing it this thread was running through my mind.
There is one guy who emails us everyweek sometimes twice a week. Same thing, no thank you not compatible. After a bit even stopped that, but still email after email. So I put a permenant stop to it. There is another couple who use to email us all the time, it was like a mass email. They were so far out of our range for desired playmates it was rediculous. If they email us again they too will be blocked.
Not that I am being a B***h, but come on. a little common sence here. No means no in emails too. If I change my mind I will contact you and see if you are still interested, but if the answer is no. See ya around.
oops I ranted
Your friend,
Prettylady

[BiloxiCouple]

Blocking is an appropriate tool when it is used correctly.

Some people just send out generic messages trying to shotgun everyone and see what happens. And some do it every couple of months with the same basic message and boring reply if you actually reply.

Also if you have a problem with someone not taking no for an answer or you feel you are being spammed on Swing Lifestyle let the webmaster know. I have done it with the spam type stuff and they handled it.

[SW_PA_Couple]

Originally Posted by havefuninsun

I then went to click on their profile again and they had blocked us...

Heck, we've even been blocked by subscribers to whom we have never sent e-mail.

[do_lei_me]

I am guilty! We have used block as a form of weeding. If we've mailed you and you never replied or you werent interested, we tend to block. But not as a form of meanness, just so I dont mail you again. We got tired of seeing all these profiles we liked and everytime we pick them, we see we've mailed them already and they've turned us down or didnt give us a reply at all. :rollseyes