Hey ya'll, The mrs and I had some spare time tonight and we got to looking through profiles on several different sites. We noticed that most couples only had one or two lines discribing what they were like and what they are looking for, on some there were very short discriptions on fantasies that they would like to live out and maybe a line or 2 about things that excite them.
We found that we were much more excited by the people who had more information in their profiles and we wrote to several of them while there were only 1 or 2 who had the very blank profiles who mostly because of their pictures that we sent off that e-mail.
How do all of you feel about what is in a profile?
Do the people who take the time to fill out more than the minium requirements catch your attention more than thoses who don't?
We all know that profiles with pictures get much more attention than thoses without, how many pics is enough to grab your attn?
I know that we have been guilty of short changing our profiles on new sites because we want to get to the good stuff, but if its a site that has many members in our area we go back and add more detail about ourselves and what we are looking for.
If they aren't willing to write something about themselves on there, I am must less likely to send them a positive response. The first thing I do when I get a message is to check their profile, the least they can do is put something there.
It tells me that they aren't sure what they want out of swinging or what they are looking for. Neither of which is very appealing to me.
I've found that the same people who write 2 line profiles are the sames ones who email you with the one line "check out our profile" as if there's anything to check out. If I can't tell from your profile that we may have anything in common then I'm not going to spend a lot of time going back and forth on email either. The last time we tried that ended in a huge misunderstanding where the other couple blocked us after we said that we may not be interested in the same things (because we didn't know).
Each time we look at someone else's profile it affects what we put in our own, adding to it information about us and what we like/don't like want/don't want. We'd rather answer those questions up front than have someone wondering if we have anything in common or if they have any reason to contact us. Why waste their time or ours.
I agree that they need to put enough in their profile to give us enough information to determine if we are compatible. We have declined to meet people based on lack of information in their profile, but more often it is lack of good pictures that will make us decline. So, I think both are important, they don't need to go overboard on either, in fact, another thing that reflects negatively on someone is a real long winded profile. If we open a profile and it is a mini-novel we probably won't even bother reading it, unless they are really hot in their pictures.
Our profile includes probably more information than is necessary. It even includes information (highlighted in red text) on the STD we both carry. Still, the vast majority of our emails are from people who only looked at the pictures of the ravishing Mrs. BorisNatasha and wrote us without reading a single word we wrote. It's very frustrating.
I think that if people want to have any luck, they should be as honest as they can. State what you really like, state what you hate. That way you automatically catch the eye of people that like what you like and you can turn away those who like what you hate.
I STRONGLY dislike profiles that say something along the lines of "that's for us to talk about later!" or "we'll tell you more another time". HUH? Profiles are personal ads. Make yourself marketable! If you turned in a job application that said "I'll tell you about it later." They'd look at you like you were a great big idiot. You're trying to find people who are a good fit. I think it saves a lot of time to put stuff right out there.
J. and I are very honest on our profile. We've put down exactly what we are and exactly what we aren't. We also put in some non-swinging interests and hobbies. Hey - you may run into swingers that you'd like to see outside of the bedroom, but how would you know if you'd get along that way without it?
As for pictures - just 1 will grab my attention. If you have no pictures, I'm probably going to pass you by totally. I just don't understand why people don't put pictures up if they're being honest about who they are. It doesn't need to be a face-shot (we don't have one of those on our profile at all). Just put a nice little profile shot or a picture with your face fuzzed out.
I also want to add that lack of punctuation and/or extremely poor grammar (and I've read some that was embarassingly bad) makes it tough to wade through what actually is there. What are you trying to say? Is a spell checker really that hard to use?
Makes me wonder what kind of a swinger puts so little effort into finding compatible partners?
When we are contacted by a couple, we normally go directly to their profile. If it doesn't have enough information to interest us, we'll send a 'no thank you' return. If it has enough information to interest us, we'll continue learning about them via email or messages. But no picture gets a no thank you.
If we are doing a search for profiles we will only search for profiles that have pictures. Of course we search by age and other things too. After we find the results of the search it's sometimes a project wading through the profiles because so many of them tell so little about themselves. BUT, we usually find some that will interest us!
I think at times I am way to honest. I reread our profile from time to time just to make sure I have not excluded or included something.
I will tell you just about anything about me.
I have come across a sight not to long ago that pretty much gave it all away. I now know EXACLY what she wants and how to do it.
Were's the fun in that.
As for spelling and punctuation. I can't complain, I sometimes spell prettylady wrong.
So, Yes, I need more then "Hey all! we love sex, call us"
Ya I love sex to....but can you hold your own in a conversation. Are you ANYTHING like me and Dog.
It's late and I am rambling.
name spelt correctly I might add. (prettylady is very proud of herself today )
hello there, in my opinion your profile is like your presentation card, it's the first thing that many people will read about you and there'll be tons of people that won't even take the time for it, it's not something you can control, but certainly it's quite better to have a good presentation card don't you agree? Enough info about both of you, and of course at least a couple of pics, there are people that love to post tons of pics, but certainly profile it's not a place for exchanging, pics on a profile are to complete the info with a graphical presentation of both of you. Would recommend that you have a good pic with both of you and the rest it's up to what you would like to show.
I'm sure that many people will see that your dedication to your profile speaks highly of you.
Hi everyone , I started this thread to hopefully get everyone to look at their profiles and make them more intresting by using the tips posted here, so thanks to everyone who has posted with their likes and dislikes.
Here are a few tips that we use when writeing our profiles.
write your profile in a program like MS word and run spell check and copy/paste it into the profile form.
Put a good pic as your first one or public one, it does not have to be a face pic but it should be recent, and show your shape/shapes, blurred or blocked faces are fine, as are clothed ones (actually prefered by us).
Make sure you update your profile every six months at the minimum, go over the whole thing and make changes to your prefrences etc...
Change your pics every once and awhile. Most sites have a search feature that will pick up on new pics as well as updated profiles.
Be clear in what you are looking for. If you are soft swap say so in the first paragraph, don't leave it for the last line. If you or your SO is bi and thats important to you then say so, if its a bonus then say that. In our case we say something like, "The female half is very bi but if you are not she is very good at playing straight".
Take your time when writeing out your profile, you are selling yourselves and you will save time and energy by being clear.
When filling out the personal info don't try and make yourselves look like super heros'. People are drawn to average people and are much more likely to conatct you if you seem approchable.
Don't make your profile a list of rules and things you don't like, it makes you seem very unapprochable and stand-offish!
When you see a profile that you like don't be afraid to steal some of it for your own. (except pics of course)
I hope this helps some of the new peeps in writing your profiles!
I've found that the same people who write 2 line profiles are the sames ones who email you with the one line "check out our profile" as if there's anything to check out.
This is so true, Julie. Or they write you with "let's meet" as the whole message. But long essay profiles also turn us off. Just give us enough info to see if we're interested and we'll find out the rest when we meet up.
Putting it bluntly, we see 'skimpy' profiles as highly suspect for a variety of reasons..many that have already been stated in earlier posts to this thread.
The way we see it, one's profile is a snapshot of who they are..and it's sole purpose is to say, "This is us...interested?" Those with skimpy and/or pictureless profiles make the answer to that question a really easy 'no thanks' because there's nothing to base interest on.
Perhaps we are reading a bit too much into it, but here's the way we see it when someone with a skimpy profile hits us up -- when they checked out our profile, they saw a picture of us and were provided a bit about our interests, preferences and personalities. Assuming that they are on the level, they contacted us because they liked what they saw and read. Yet, we are supposed to take their word for it that we will be interested in them...after all, their profile does say that they are 'hot'! (Is there a term more subjective?) To us, at best they are attempting to start out things on an unequal basis..and at worst are hiding something. It's just so much easier to pass them by. I submit that it's probably rare that skimpy profile folk contact other skimpy profile folk...wonder why?
Ever notice it's usually the skimpy profiles complaining "no one is real" and "no one ever wants to meet"?
Last edited by Pensacolapair; 01-25-2007 at 03:05 PM.