Responding to Emails

VanHlebar · 11-01-2006, 10:33 PM

Mrs Van and I were having a discussion about responding to emails from ad sites this evening.

We have a term that we use to describe those lovely emails that we all get that we hate...we call them "Love Mail".

Usually these are single guys that don't have a clue, but they can also be from couples that just simply didn't bother to actually read our profile.

So this evening "she" got a number of "love mails" on one of our sites and I told her that she had a number of them that she needed to reply to. (Yes we do try to reply to all emails that we get, unless they are truely plain stupid.)

She said that it wasn't fair that she had to reply to so many emails. So, I made her a promise...and I only make promises that I can keep.

I told her that she gets to respond to all "love mails" that are from single guys, we can split all "love mails" from couples and I will gladly respond to all "love mails" from the single ladies!

Now, I think that is more than a fair way to split up the responsibilities don't you guys?

-Van

ShellyM · 11-01-2006, 10:38 PM

I think you are a prince.

gatorvol64 · 11-01-2006, 10:38 PM

Really? You'd go to that much trouble? Because I just know you get as many emails from single women as you get from single men and therefore the work load has to be equal this way.

Vol

Spoomonkey · 11-01-2006, 10:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VanHlebar

Now, I think that is more than a fair way to split up the responsibilities don't you guys?

Sounds fair to me...

But seriously - how tough is it to hit the auto response of "Ummm... No."?

People who don't read what we say in our ad and are obviously not at all what we have asked for don't get the courtesy of a reply we've spent much time on. If the site you are talking about doesn't have an auto response, you should consider a "reply template" that you can cut and paste.

Spoomonkey

flkeyscouple · 11-01-2006, 10:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VanHlebar

(Yes we do try to reply to all emails that we get, unless they are truely plain stupid.)

We do this too - and sometimes it's a huge pain. On Swing Lifestyle I don't even feel comfortable using the 'no thanks' that's already there for ease - I write my own little rejection letter.

Quote:

Originally Posted by VanHlebar

I told her that she gets to respond to all "love mails" that are from single guys, we can split all "love mails" from couples and I will gladly respond to all "love mails" from the single ladies!

Actually I think this is MORE than fair - REALLY! Roger hasn't written a reply once! Not that I mind, really. It's kinda 'my job', but if there are lots and lots of 'love mail' (I like that term!) he'll feel bad for me and do the dishes or make dinner (read: take me out for dinner!!)

Sarah

**good times** · 11-01-2006, 11:15 PM

Since we pretty much only use Swing Lifestyle any more, it has a feature that allows you to write your own autoresponses. So we have several, except in rare instances, the people we are not interested in meeting usually get one of those. That cuts the people that we have to use any real effort to respond to by about 99.9998%.

But to answer your question, sure, sounds totally fair to me.

MoonLightKiss · 11-01-2006, 11:21 PM

I think that the fact that you even offered to respond to some speaks for itself. I am the one that went through all the mail that came in, as the computer in the house is mainly mine. Well, its also used for my schooling, and since my husbands literacy rate on the thing is slim to none. Perhaps I need to sign hubby up for some computer classes. But Van, you are a wonderful guy for volunteering. Even if my husband was the worlds best security expert for electronics, I would still be the only replier. He kinda pulls up a chair and says, yes, no, maybe so. I get stuck with figuring out how to be polite when saying no.

But for those that don't have the common courtesy of reading the profile first, they don't even get a reply other than, The answer is no, please READ profile for reason why.

Kisses,
MLK

11-02-2006, 06:09 AM

Okay everyone! Let's just hold up here and get MY side of the story.

We get anywhere from 2-5 emails a DAY from single guys, maybe once a week we get a couple, and NEVER do we get messages from single ladies

So I still do not see where this is fair to me?

MrVan does a good job of letting me know when I have "love mail" but come on..If he knows that they are not my cup of tea, then why not just send the auto response back to them and delete...Why do I need to check them out? I mean, really..... :rollseyes

So anyways, there is my side of the story.

And ShellyM, you can't call MrVan a "prince" cause his head will swell up so big that I wont be able to get him out of the house.

MrsVan

rpu3 · 11-02-2006, 06:25 AM

I think it is nice that he wants you to see the notes/profiles/whatever before he responds, but I'm with you on the quantity issue. If it's blatently obvious it is not your type of guy, what's wrong with him hitting the "Thank you for your email, but we are not interested" reply? :rollseyes

I do handle the single male mail, but it's about 10 times the volume of mail received from couples! Man, there are times I just set it aside for a day or two or three, and spend time going thru it. The good thing about that method is that I'll finally use the "No thanks" button by the end.

Thanks for posting your side, MrsVan!

jennandjamesinm · 11-02-2006, 07:25 AM

Why not just block single males from contacting you? Then there is no reason to respond to all of the "love mail." If you are looking for single men, you can look through the profiles and mail one you are interested in. Saves you the time and trouble and keeps harmony at the Van house

Jenn

11-02-2006, 07:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jennandjamesinm

Why not just block single males from contacting you? Then there is no reason to respond to all of the "love mail." If you are looking for single men, you can look through the profiles and mail one you are interested in. Saves you the time and trouble and keeps harmony at the Van house

Jenn

Jenn,

We actually have done this and blocked them from sending us messages but then we had found some that we were interested in and in order for them to contact us back we had to open it up to them.

We have harmony in the house

Just wish MrVan would see them and delete sometimes without me having to be grossed out.

MrsVan

jennandjamesinm · 11-02-2006, 07:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrsVan

Just wish MrVan would see them and delete sometimes without me having to be grossed out.

MrsVan

I wasn't aware that single males had to be unblocked so they could respond to you. That sucks.

Mr. Van - help her out alright!!!!

Just delete the gross ones - you know what the Mrs. likes!

Jenn

Spoomonkey · 11-02-2006, 07:57 AM

We read everything together before one of us responds - and then we will read the response to each other before we send it...

Yeah - I know... It sure seems like a huge pain in the ass... But our profile doesn't get that many single male hits (maybe 3-4 a week). It isn't entirely single male friendly - but at the same time it does say that we are somewhat open to that. Maybe if you reconsidered your wording a bit?

Then again - I can see why single guys go goofy over you, MrsVan... facelick

Spoomonkey

flkeyscouple · 11-02-2006, 07:58 AM

Mrs Van,
I just checked out your Swing Lifestyle profile. NO WONDER you get so many messages from single guys!! Great pics!

Sarah

11-02-2006, 08:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by flkeyscouple

Mrs Van,
I just checked out your Swing Lifestyle profile. NO WONDER you get so many messages from single guys!! Great pics!

Sarah

Sarah,

Thanks for the compliments

MrsVan

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11-01-2006, 10:33 PM	#1 (permalink)
VanHlebar Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 711 Location: Here Status: S	Responding to Emails Mrs Van and I were having a discussion about responding to emails from ad sites this evening. We have a term that we use to describe those lovely emails that we all get that we hate...we call them "Love Mail". Usually these are single guys that don't have a clue, but they can also be from couples that just simply didn't bother to actually read our profile. So this evening "she" got a number of "love mails" on one of our sites and I told her that she had a number of them that she needed to reply to. (Yes we do try to reply to all emails that we get, unless they are truely plain stupid.) She said that it wasn't fair that she had to reply to so many emails. So, I made her a promise...and I only make promises that I can keep. I told her that she gets to respond to all "love mails" that are from single guys, we can split all "love mails" from couples and I will gladly respond to all "love mails" from the single ladies! Now, I think that is more than a fair way to split up the responsibilities don't you guys? -Van

11-01-2006, 10:38 PM	#2 (permalink)
ShellyM Jay's Bumper Buddy Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 2,299 Location: San Marcos, TEXAS Status: On the prowl for man meat Swing Lifestyle Name:lost_j1	Re: Responding to Emails I think you are a prince.
	__________________ Merry Christmas and a Ho Ho Ho Shelly

11-01-2006, 10:38 PM	#3 (permalink)
gatorvol64 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 1,426 Location: Florida Status: Married Couple	Re: Responding to Emails Really? You'd go to that much trouble? Because I just know you get as many emails from single women as you get from single men and therefore the work load has to be equal this way. Vol
	__________________ He is the Gator and she is the Vol.

11-01-2006, 11:15 PM	#6 (permalink)
good times Mod Squad Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 6,919 Location: Reno, Nevada Status: Married to Mrs Good Times Swing Lifestyle Name:randp	Re: Responding to Emails Since we pretty much only use Swing Lifestyle any more, it has a feature that allows you to write your own autoresponses. So we have several, except in rare instances, the people we are not interested in meeting usually get one of those. That cuts the people that we have to use any real effort to respond to by about 99.9998%. But to answer your question, sure, sounds totally fair to me.
	__________________ R (He is R, she is P)

11-01-2006, 11:21 PM	#7 (permalink)
MoonLightKiss Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 415 Location: Kentucky Status: Couple	Re: Responding to Emails I think that the fact that you even offered to respond to some speaks for itself. I am the one that went through all the mail that came in, as the computer in the house is mainly mine. Well, its also used for my schooling, and since my husbands literacy rate on the thing is slim to none. Perhaps I need to sign hubby up for some computer classes. But Van, you are a wonderful guy for volunteering. Even if my husband was the worlds best security expert for electronics, I would still be the only replier. He kinda pulls up a chair and says, yes, no, maybe so. I get stuck with figuring out how to be polite when saying no. But for those that don't have the common courtesy of reading the profile first, they don't even get a reply other than, The answer is no, please READ profile for reason why. Kisses, MLK
	__________________ Our greatest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. - Marianne Wilson

11-02-2006, 06:09 AM	#8 (permalink)
MrsVan Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Responding to Emails Okay everyone! Let's just hold up here and get MY side of the story. We get anywhere from 2-5 emails a DAY from single guys, maybe once a week we get a couple, and NEVER do we get messages from single ladies So I still do not see where this is fair to me? MrVan does a good job of letting me know when I have "love mail" but come on..If he knows that they are not my cup of tea, then why not just send the auto response back to them and delete...Why do I need to check them out? I mean, really..... :rollseyes So anyways, there is my side of the story. And ShellyM, you can't call MrVan a "prince" cause his head will swell up so big that I wont be able to get him out of the house. MrsVan
MrsVan Guest Posts: n/a

11-02-2006, 06:25 AM	#9 (permalink)
rpu3 Doing it our way... Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 3,273 Location: Ohio Status: Married Female Swing Lifestyle Name:rpu3	Re: Responding to Emails I think it is nice that he wants you to see the notes/profiles/whatever before he responds, but I'm with you on the quantity issue. If it's blatently obvious it is not your type of guy, what's wrong with him hitting the "Thank you for your email, but we are not interested" reply? :rollseyes I do handle the single male mail, but it's about 10 times the volume of mail received from couples! Man, there are times I just set it aside for a day or two or three, and spend time going thru it. The good thing about that method is that I'll finally use the "No thanks" button by the end. Thanks for posting your side, MrsVan!
	__________________ I'll give up my bad habits as soon as equally satisfying good habits become available. A. Brilliant

11-02-2006, 07:25 AM	#10 (permalink)
jennandjamesinm Care to join us??? Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 1,460 Location: Northwest Mississippi Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:jennandjamesinms	Re: Responding to Emails Why not just block single males from contacting you? Then there is no reason to respond to all of the "love mail." If you are looking for single men, you can look through the profiles and mail one you are interested in. Saves you the time and trouble and keeps harmony at the Van house Jenn
	__________________ "Swinging is the women's amusement park, and men are just along for the thrill ride." ~ James Last edited by jennandjamesinm; 11-02-2006 at 07:26 AM. Reason: not enough coffee yet

11-02-2006, 07:57 AM	#13 (permalink)
Spoomonkey Chimpin' Ain't Easy Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 6,739 Location: Ohio Status: Married Monkeys - will you be our vine? Swing Lifestyle Name:Spoomonkey	Re: Responding to Emails We read everything together before one of us responds - and then we will read the response to each other before we send it... Yeah - I know... It sure seems like a huge pain in the ass... But our profile doesn't get that many single male hits (maybe 3-4 a week). It isn't entirely single male friendly - but at the same time it does say that we are somewhat open to that. Maybe if you reconsidered your wording a bit? Then again - I can see why single guys go goofy over you, MrsVan... facelick Spoomonkey
	__________________ "Eros will have naked bodies; Friendship naked personalities." - C. S. Lewis

11-02-2006, 07:58 AM	#14 (permalink)
flkeyscouple Sarah&Roger's Female Half Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 1,160 Location: FL Status: couple-female half Swing Lifestyle Name:floridakeyscouple	Re: Responding to Emails Mrs Van, I just checked out your Swing Lifestyle profile. NO WONDER you get so many messages from single guys!! Great pics! Sarah

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