face pic etiquette on Swing Lifestyle

[candk1]

I read so many profiles on Swing Lifestyle that say "If you send me a msg. it MUST include a face pic" Then these same people send us a msg. that has like 100 privates, none of which are open to us, and the pic they attatch to the msg. is blurred or just a pic of her ass. I think this is so rude since it is a requirement for them, why dont they at least attatch a face pic in the original msg. they send? All of the pics of me and him are open face pics (I know everyone cannot do that) but cant they at least attatch one? Does this happen to anyone else? Also, how do you politely let someone know that you are not interested? Thanks for any input!!

[prettylady]

The auto sign off "sorry we are not compatible at this time" is kinda cool. Try saying the same thing but in your own words, add something personal.
I am not comfortable with the idea of putting my face out there right off the mark. I need to know I can, on some level, trust this person.
Even at the meet up, with people I know well from the board, it wasn't until we were all confirmed did we put pics out there. If I am so careful with people I already trust, I don't get why I would offer my pic to someone I know nothing else about, but what I read in their profile. How do I know they are sincere. At least here, true colors come out and you can gauge better who you are sending a pic to.
Ahhh slightly off topic I think.
Yes I agree, it is rude to expect a face pic and then get an ass shot back. But then again perhaps that is their best side.
Your friend,
Prettylady

[WildMiCouple]

Originally Posted by candk1

I think this is so rude since it is a requirement for them, why dont they at least attatch a face pic in the original msg. they send? All of the pics of me and him are open face pics (I know everyone cannot do that) but cant they at least attatch one? Does this happen to anyone else?

Yes, this has happened a few times to us also. It's mildly irritating at most. If you're trying to catch our interest.....at least include pics of your face :rollseyes Whenever we contact other members on Swing Lifestyle, I always include a face pic of us. If they have face pics on their profile prior to our contact, then I'll also open our private pics to them on first contact, as they're just face pics too.

As far as politely turning someone down, I'll usually respond with something like this: "Thanks for the note and pics. However, we respectfully decline your offer. We wish you luck in the future."

BTW candk1.....nice profile pics

Brett

[havefuninsun]

Originally Posted by candk1

I read so many profiles on Swing Lifestyle that say "If you send me a msg. it MUST include a face pic" Then these same people send us a msg. that has like 100 privates, none of which are open to us, and the pic they attatch to the msg. is blurred or just a pic of her ass. I think this is so rude since it is a requirement for them, why dont they at least attatch a face pic in the original msg. they send? All of the pics of me and him are open face pics (I know everyone cannot do that) but cant they at least attatch one? Does this happen to anyone else? Also, how do you politely let someone know that you are not interested? Thanks for any input!!

Again, I don't know why anyone would want for their profile to have any sort of negative tone. If you're interested in trading pics after the initial email(s), then politely in the email say, "attached is a pic of us; we'd love to put your names to your faces" or something.

We don't share face pics. We share body pics that show that we take care of ourselves. Attitude and personality are more important to us than face pics are ... we figure if someone is that hung up on getting a face pic, the relationship is doomed ... we figure the worst someone has to lose is a drink at happy hour to meet us.

P.S. I say we don't share pics. If I start to feel comfortable with the couple, I might be persuaded to send a face pic. Mr. Fun, not so much.

[DBL D]

It is rude and just not the way people who are really serious about things should do it. We've had couples invite us to their network and they don't even have any albums. Some are just afraid to send decent shots. If you don't feel good about a couple, no matter how their profile reads, then just say "thanks, but no thanks".

Male D

[riswingcpl]

Originally Posted by havefuninsun

We don't share face pics. We share body pics that show that we take care of ourselves. Attitude and personality are more important to us than face pics are

We wouldn't meet anyone that wouldn't at least share one face pic. While we agree that personality is more important to us than looks, we also want to know that there is at least a basic physical attraction. If a couple looks like they just crawled out of the woods after hibernating for the past two years, we'll probably pass. (think about that Nick Nolte mugshot for instance ) Some may find that superficial, I suppose, but if there isn't a basic attraction, how can you get excited about having sex with them, no matter how wonderful a personality they may have?

Originally Posted by havefuninsun

... we figure if someone is that hung up on getting a face pic, the relationship is doomed ... we figure the worst someone has to lose is a drink at happy hour to meet us.

For us, it's not just losing an hour. Our playtime, or getting out at all time for that matter, is very limited due to work and family obligations, and always requires some planning. So if we "take a chance" and hope for the best, we may well blow the only time we have that month to get out if we meet and they turn out to be that couple from the woods. Not that any meet is ever a sure thing...but if we at least see your faces in advance, we're not going to run into a situation that could have easily been avoided by trading pics.

M

[havefuninsun]

Originally Posted by riswingcpl

If a couple looks like they just crawled out of the woods after hibernating for the past two years, we'll probably pass. (think about that Nick Nolte mugshot for instance ) M

Point WELL taken! (hahaha -- the image is now in my head ). And the point about not having a lot of free time is well taken, too. I'm hoping Mr. Fun will decide soon to take the "ban" off the face pic sharing ... he hates his pics. But, then again, we find most people much more attractive in real life than we do with pics anyway (we see a pic as more of a "guideline," I reckon).

Thanks for the feedback

[graygo98]

We agree with RISwing. There has to be at least some physical attraction before we would be interested in meeting. If its there you can move on to the more important question: do we like these people as people?

While it may only be a drink over happy hour it is also one of the precious rare slots we have open for meeting new people. Jobs, family, friends (vertical and horizontal) and just the two of us spending some quality time together take up most of our time. So we aren't likely to spend it on a meet that is just not going to go anywhere.

A couple contacted us recently and gave us their key (Cafe Desire). Their private pics featured a number of pictures of an attractive woman, but none of the man. We were interested and replied with our key and a request for pics of him. We said that if they liked what they saw (our private pics are full body, full face, both of us) and vice versa then we could meet. They replied, simply saying they were interested in getting together for a drink. Still no pics of him, and no explanation. On that basis we passed.

To the OP, what those people did to you was either just plain bad manners or total stupidity. Good thing you didn't waste any more time on them.

[riswingcpl]

Originally Posted by havefuninsun

I'm hoping Mr. Fun will decide soon to take the "ban" off the face pic sharing ... he hates his pics.

Same here with G...she hates hers too. We have very vanilla shots in our private folder...shots my family could see. But they show us together, as the loving couple we are. They not only show our faces very clearly, but let people see that we are a happy couple...or very good actors

Originally Posted by havefuninsun

But, then again, we find most people much more attractive in real life than we do with pics anyway (we see a pic as more of a "guideline," I reckon).

Agreed for the most part...though we have had a couple of experiences where the pics were MUCH better than the real person...almost to the point of wondering if it was the same person! THAT is a bummer...

M

[ShellyM]

Yep, you will see this sometimes. I don't know what to tell you, some people just don't think I suppose. I hate it when they don't provide any picture at all and ask me if I want to get together....or pics of only the wife and not the hubby, or her stroking her genitals........MAN!
I simply ask them politely for face pics, and don't commit to anything right then.

[good times]

Originally Posted by ShellyM

or her stroking her genitals.....

Ok, I will admit it, that would probably work for me.

[nice_cpl_n_bama]

We have face pics in our profile, but ONLY face pics. We don't put out any pic that I wouldn't let my mother see. If someone copys our pic and distributes it it's no big deal because all our pics are truly "Public" pics.

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by good times

Ok, I will admit it, that would probably work for me.

LOL
I'm sure it would have lol...

I forgot though, they don't allow that on Swing Lifestyle!

[SW_PA_Couple]

Originally Posted by candk1

Does this happen to anyone else?

Addressing the face-picture question, two of the most fabulous people we have ever met have no picture at Swing Lifestyle and supplied none to us before we met them. They seduced us with words. Admittedly, few people are able to express themselves this well using words. But somehow you just know when it will be worthwhile to respond.

I agree with your point. You have told people up-front that you want to see a picture -- they should send a picture. That is a matter of etiquitte. I would advise, however, to not restrict yourselves with this requirement.

Just my two cents.

[SW_PA_Couple]

Originally Posted by candk1

Also, how do you politely let someone know that you are not interested?

JoAnn and I are in complete agreement: 1) If the approach was clumsy, we feel no obligation to answer. 2) Using the "quick reply" at Swing Lifestyle, I forget how if goes exactly, "Sorry, we're not interested", or something like that, is sufficient. It's best not to get into the specifics of why you are putting them off. It only invites, "Well, why not?" We presume that all who sign up at Swing Lifestyle are adults and are able to handle rejection.

Michael