Honesty got me blocked by another couple

[ohash01]

I was chatting with the M of a couple that we've been chatting to for a while...in response to him asking when we'd hook up, I said (and I'm reading this from my message archives word for word) "I REALLY like you guys, but J. and I are mostly interested in finding a single bi-f to play with us together without having to worry about a second male and what we can and cannot do with him or his woman. The thought of being with a woman turns me on, but I'd need to have a man that I could play with there too...and since you're off-limits for that...we're still looking elsewhere." (They're soft swing...with any joining females not being allowed to do anything with him). He said that was very offensive...I asked why...he said he didn't know and appears as though he has now blocked me.

I really was being honest - I really like both of them...as people, more than as swingers...but they were still on our "interested" list. Now I have appearently made him mad. She wasn't home at the time. I'm not sure if she'll read it and be mad too. I was stating an honest fact and an honest opinion. I don't think I was rude. Was I rude? Should I have done something differently? This is our first straight up "rejection". We've gotten polite "no thank yous", but not after we've gotten to know the people as well as we have this couple. Being "exclusive" with them NEVER came up, and she told me last week about a couple that had come over...I didn't get upset because they were looking elsewhere. I'm not sure. We're new and I'm obsessing. Did I just break some swingers code that I don't know about? I followed all the rules I've seen...I was honest and straightforward...I clearly stated our interests. I don't get it.

[BradAndJanet]

Honesty. Still the best policy. You did right.

-B

[ohash01]

In my head, I know that...but I still sat here and sniffled for a few mins. I'm an emotional person in regards to the things I do to MYSELF. Like...for the next hour or so I will sit here and beat myself up going "WHY did I say that? Now they won't even want to be friendly online anymore." And I really enjoyed the chats with them. I feel like I lost a friend...

[riswingcpl]

Don't beat yourself up for being honest. If he/they couldn't handle the fact that what they had to offer wasn't what you are looking for right now, that's their problem not yours. It sounds like you were as diplomatic as could be, and frankly, I don't know what else you could have done other then to just give in and do something you didn't really want to do. THAT is something you should never do...ever!

You did nothing wrong.

M

[Chicup]

Welcome to the interweb. You have run into one of the many nutcases which inhabit it, to hell with him. Since he isn't 'allowed' to play he sounds like a wuss anyways

You just avoided a drama bomb, count your blessings.

[Dynamar]

Alert the media!!! I agree with Chicup.

[Sweet_Candy]

Had to read this twice . . . then snicker. You did the best thing by being upfront with him.

[MoonLightKiss]

Honesty is always the best policy. Better to let someone down gently now, than have to do it later. They were not what you were looking for, and you were honest about it. No reason at all to apologize nor beat yourself up about it. There are plenty of people out there that will be perfect for you. Chalk it up to "he's a nutcase" because I agree with Chicup on that one, and count your blessings that he is gone. Chin up hun. You did right.

[good times]

Stop the presses, I agree with Dynamar who agrees with Chicup.

I would add one thing though, it is my observation that people with lopsided rules like these are way to much drama to deal with in person. So, consider yourself lucky this happened early in your involvement with them, and don't beat yourself up over it.

[ohash01]

I would add one thing though, it is my observation that people with lopsided rules like these are way to much drama to deal with in person.

Interesting. And you know what - I believe that. Now that I'm seriously thinking about it. I can't IMAGINE J. and I having rules that were different from one another. We're much more "What's good for the goose..."

[Chicup]

Ahem.....

Originally Posted by good times

I would add one thing though, it is my observation that people with lopsided rules like these are way to much drama to deal with in person. So, consider yourself lucky this happened early in your involvement with them, and don't beat yourself up over it.

You added nothing

Originally Posted by Chicup

You just avoided a drama bomb, count your blessings.

From now one everyone just agrees with me and no one gets hurt!
crazy dancing kilt man agrees!

(and for those of you who are interweb challanged, the above was a joke )

[Thrax]

I have to admit, when I see that Chicup uses a smiley, it makes me just a little nervous.

Thrax

[NandTfromCA]

I agree with GT, who agress with Dynamar, who agrees with Chicup. (sound like a Tolken reference "Son of Dynamar, lord of the Chicup's, will come to GT to bring goodness"...ok, maybe it's just me)

Yes Thrax...Chicup using smileys???

Mr. (Mrs. doesn't want credit for my geeky LOTR reference)

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by Thrax

I have to admit, when I see that Chicup uses a smiley, it makes me just a little nervous.

Thrax

Maybe its my deep hidden bi-side bi-males/couples keep posting we straight guys must have comming out at last,

[good times]

Originally Posted by Chicup

Ahem.....



You added nothing

And this surprises you?

You obviously overlooked the 46 words I added.

And yea the hints at it, but that little Chicup dude spanking the other little dude surely must remove all doubt about your deeply hidden bi-tendencies.

(For those lacking a firm grasp of the obvious - The above is a joke. )