Rant - obnoxious comments in profiles

[Tybee Swing]

We got a complimentary letter through our profile from a single man today. He's very far away, wouldn't be a potential playmate anyway.

Out of curiosity, I read his profile. I was amazed to see how a man who wrote something so complimentary, could turn out to be so obnoxious! In the essay about describing himself, he wrote:

"By the way if you can't take the time to write a personal reply to my letter please don't waste your time by sending me an auto reply. Most are lame, irrelevant, innacurrate and show me that you are too lazy to personally THANK me for writing to you in the first place." That's verbatim, caps and all. Can you believe that??? If he's not getting replies and he's frustrated, it's no mystery to me why people aren't writing back!

Further down his profile in the essay for who he would NOT like to meet, he says: "Ignorant people who can't spell...ex: compatable..discrete..your..etc."
As you can see above, he misspelled the word "inaccurate" in his own essay. I feel that if someone is going to bash others for spelling errors in their profile, the least they can do is spell-check their own.

Next: the letter he wrote was all about my appearance and photos (nothing else). However, he would NOT like to meet people who are superficial. He also would NOT like to meet: "All you personality devoid Barbie & Kens who think that the shell that houses your soul is more important than the soul you do not possess."

Woooo, drama boy! Looks like he got rejected one too many times. He doesn't know me to know whether I have a soul or not, but he certainly seemed interested in my shell.

[BradAndJanet]

I've seen that too and sure do run away fast. Somebody that negative on a profile can't be too fun in person, methinks.

-B

[ShellyM]

Yeah, we have read a few of those ourselves lol. My favorite, as a NASCAR fan, is the one where she says that I should not write to her because nascar fans are "rednecks with teeth missing"...I had no idea that I was either a redneck, and I do believe I still have my teeth (albeit some are crooked lol)....

[Amanda69]

It is interesting that people just don't realize how they come across in their profiles. What they sometimes think is weeding out some of the people they would rather not communicate with, actually ends up weeding out some of the people they could have had a good thing with.

[JnCC]

Originally Posted by Tybee Swing

We got a complimentary letter through our profile from a single man today. He's very far away, wouldn't be a potential playmate anyway. Out of curiosity, I read his profile. I was amazed to see how a man who wrote something so complimentary, could turn out to be so obnoxious!

Looks like he got rejected one too many times. He doesn't know me to know whether I have a soul or not, but he certainly seemed interested in my shell.

I'm not surprised. I think if you were to scratch the surface, you'd find that of those single males who actively pursue the lifestyle, a very high percentage have a history of troubled and/or distant relationships with women. In short, they're weird...

"Normal" guys, by and large, aren't the ones putzing around on swinger websites looking for "hot wives to boff while their husbands watch." It's that "cluelessness" about women and relationships that draws them to this lifestyle in the first place. Whatever the roots of their attraction for this, you can't judge them by the same yardstick you would use for single guys in the real world.

Despite what you might think, I actually sympathize with the guy who wrote you. Ask yourself how you would have reacted to his inquiry and profile if you had been a single woman? Chances are, that's how women have been reacting to him all of his adult life.

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by ShellyM

My favorite, as a NASCAR fan, is the one where she says that I should not write to her because nascar fans are "rednecks with teeth missing"...I had no idea that I was either a redneck, and I do believe I still have my teeth (albeit some are crooked lol)....

LOL! I just never get it why some people have to be so "Archie Bunker" in their profiles, just lashing out with stereotypes at whole groups of people like that.

I guess they just never learned that if you want to catch a fly, you ought to do it with honey.

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by BradAndJanet

I've seen that too and sure do run away fast. Somebody that negative on a profile can't be too fun in person, methinks.

-B

Originally Posted by Amanda69

It is interesting that people just don't realize how they come across in their profiles. What they sometimes think is weeding out some of the people they would rather not communicate with, actually ends up weeding out some of the people they could have had a good thing with.

Yeppers! Even if I had the same interests in common with the negative, bashing person, I wouldn't want to meet them due to their attitude about others. It's what they say and the way they say it that turns me off.

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by JnCC

Despite what you might think, I actually sympathize with the guy who wrote you. Ask yourself how you would have reacted to his inquiry and profile if you had been a single woman? Chances are, that's how women have been reacting to him all of his adult life.

Hi JnCC,

I would have reacted the same way to him if I was single. I would have found his note charming and complimentary, but his profile just horrid and bitter. I dated on the vanilla dating sites just a few years ago (it's how I met the charming Mr. Tybee). There are bitter men with anger issues like that in the single's profiles, too. I avoided them like the plague. I don't like to be around negative whiny people, nutty unresolved anger people, or someone that thinks they're God's gift (that line about how we should all THANK him for even writing to us).

I thought his complimenting my picture (not in any kind of gross way, just friendly) was very nice. It wasn't until I saw him go on and on in his profile very arrogantly about superficial people who are all about looks, how soulless they are for valuing appearance, when he just got done making "superficial" flattering comments to me. It just seemed so two-faced, you know?

I admire your sympathy for him, though. You've got a soul, for sure.

[curiousagain]

We've all seen similar profiles by single men and women and couples. Perhaps they've been burned a bit and gone overboard on their reaction. As far as dating sites, if I had a dime for every single female with a profile consisting largely of a list of "things I won't put up with, tired of, can't stand" etc. I wouldn't have to work any more. That attitude will repel more people than it attracts on swing or vanilla sites or the real world as a single or couple.

Good grief, JNCC, how many people would say that swingers as a whole are wierd or incapable of a "normal" relationship?
I would guess that one person's normal is another's weird.

[good times]

It never ceases to amaze me how negative some of the adds are on sights such as Swing Lifestyle. Does this really work for people? I can't imagine that it does. Reminds me of something one of the characters of one of my favorite movies (Kelly's Heros) would say, "Quit giving off the negative vibes, man."

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by curiousagain

Good grief, JNCC, how many people would say that swingers as a whole are wierd or incapable of a "normal" relationship?
I would guess that one person's normal is another's weird.

Stumbled into this thread again....

While a good number of people would say we were incapable of having a normal relationship, we know they are wrong. In fact I think our relationship is as normal and healthy as they come, as most swingers (but not all of course) seem to be.

I'm up there with JnCC (and what got him banned, its how I stumbled here ) that most single males on swinging sites are in fact wierd and unable to have a normal relationship with a woman. This does not apply to all single males, but a majority of them, the ones that people constantly bitch about here, are like that.

[Sweet_Candy]

JNCC was banned? That's news for sure. Why was he banned? His post pretty much sums up my thoughts on single males too. My first thought about any single male or female here evolves around what issues do they have?

[Mr.T]

Originally Posted by Tybee Swing

..... but he certainly seemed interested in my shell.

Who wouldn't be interested in your shell?

[havefuninsun]

How interesting that someone would write a total negative sounding profile to entice others into getting to know him, on a very personal level ...

Back in the day, I dated people on match.com. Every once in a while, I'd run into some poor dude's profile that was full of negatives, talking badly about past relationships, etc. instead of saying, "Hi. I like movies, good food, nice wine, and a good book on a rainy day." If you're supposed to be trying to SELL yourself essentially (hello people; the ad's are marketing tools, really).

I hope he realizes that he's scaring people away ... wonder why he's had such bad experiences

[riswingcpl]

Those kind of profiles, with lots of either negative comments/stereotypes or demands on what you MUST do or be to contact them, serve as a great screening device for us. If you're that demanding or negative before we even know you, we don't want to know you. One of my "favorites", from a couple in our area on SN, stated flat out that if you didn't have a face pic in your visible profile, don't write to them. They didn't care if you sent one privately or opened up private pics on the site for them. They reasoned that if they are comfortable enough to put their faces out front, you should be too, or apparently you aren't worthy of their attention. That's probably the most ignorant and/or arrogant thing I've ever seen in a profile.

There are lots of things in the lifestyle that can be aggravating as hell...no-shows, people who look nothing like their pics (or 20 years older) when you meet, people who want to chat forever before they'll meet you...we've all run into at least one of these circumstances. But when you vent about it in your profile, you're only diminishing your chance of meeting someone nice. Most people want fun friends, not people who spend their time bitching and whining.

M