Why do you respond to messages?

[curious24]

I've often wondered about if you are a couple and looking for a single male, single female, or even a couple, how do you go about choosing one? Specifically if you are a site like Swing Lifestyle or something and you get a random email from someone what usually makes you respond to them?

With the way some people act online and how sometimes you can send a trillion messages that are nice and not one liners and get nothing in return I've often wondered what people do to get some sort of response or reply from others.

[WesternSwing]

There are several things that clue us into if we want to meet them or not. First, of course, is "is there physical attraction?" as we look at their pictures. Then we read the profile and see if they are looking for the same thing we are. The profile can tell us allot about them. We look for things like spelling and grammer... this is important to us since intelligence is a huge turn-on for both of us. What are the looking for? How serious are they about this? Is what they wrote a turn-on or a turn-off? Sometimes you can get a vibe about someone from just the stuff they say in their profile. How we respond is not something I can put my finger on... it's more a feeling.

Mr. WS

[mincup]

its all about trust IMHO

[curious24]

Originally Posted by mincup

its all about trust IMHO

how can you trust someone from one message and reading their profile though? What about that message and or profile makes you feel comfortable in replying to the message they send you?

[mincup]

Ok, good question curious. I was more reffering to building trust. an ad wouldn't do that . my bad

[LFM2]

I actually respond to everyone that sends me private messages, even it is just a "thanks, but no thanks" type of response. What makes me respond positively to a couple or single that sends one out is the way they write their profile. I look at their spelling, their grammar and a quick glance at their pics. I prefer "G" or "PG" rated pics, personally. Personality goes a lot further with us than looks. I consider their ages. Older couples/singles are assumed to be more mature than younger ones. Even though I'm sure there are some younger couples out there that would be fantastic to play with--we're trying to stay away from drama.

I also look at their screen name. "IwannafuckUsobad" just does nothing for me. That just so closely resembles the "Wham Bam Thank You Ma'am" type of thing.

There are few zillion out there that don't like to respond back, but I think it's just common courtesy, even if it is to say "Thanks, but no thanks".

[mincup]

Yikes!!! I better straighten up my grammar, it gets late and I get lazy typing syndrome.

[Chicup]

Curious you have been a wanna be swinger for how many years now?

I know saying this isn't PC happy swingers board talk, but I think you have an unhealthy obsession with swinging. You once stated you have been lurking around the site for 7 years, since you were 21, and you haven't had an encounter yet, despite having an add up for at least 2 years.

Work on having a loving relationship, you will understand more about couples and swinging by doing that then anything else.

[2jersey]

curious24, if your messages are directed at people whose ads suggest they are interested in single males, you certainly deserve a courteous response - particularly given your contention that your messages are "nice and not one liners". Unfortunately, there is a large consituency which believes that completely ignoring an incoming message is the equivalent of saying "no" and they do not acknowledge that, by ignoring you, they are are behaving rudely.

If you are interested in a positive response (as opposed to any response), you will need to appeal to the interests of the people you are contacting. Most people will use your profile and message to form an initial impression regarding your appearance and personality.

If you are unattractive, you are facing an uphill battle. If you look good and you still aren't getting any responses, you need to reexamine the text of your profile. There is a thread in the singles forum which you can use to solicit input on your profile - you may want to consider getting some specific help from others (to supplement the general advice which has been offered in this thread).

[Amanda69]

Specifically if you are a site like Swing Lifestyle or something and you get a random email from someone what usually makes you respond to them?

I also respond to all messages sent to me. I feel it is the polite thing to do even if I am just saying thanks but no thanks.....

[OnHArry]

I agree that regardless of how attarctive any given couple is, if they took the time to send us a message in resonse to our ad on Swing Lifestyle then I will at least answer it, even if it is to say thanks but no thanks.

I to read the profiles carefully, to see if in fact the people responding are more or less literate.

Like your biography Amanda69 do you ever go to club eros?

[Amanda69]

Thank you.

We have only been a couple of times...like the rained out baseball game with Close Encounters last year. We frequent Happy Hedonist but also visit Close Encounters, Xtabi and Abstract....

[Funcpl647]

Originally Posted by WesternSwing

The profile can tell us allot about them. We look for things like spelling and grammer... this is important to us since intelligence is a huge turn-on for both of us. WS

You mean a lot. Two words. as in " a bunch" or "a few".

Allot means to distribute by lot; to give or assigns as one's share.

[curious24]

Originally Posted by Chicup

Curious you have been a wanna be swinger for how many years now?

I know saying this isn't PC happy swingers board talk, but I think you have an unhealthy obsession with swinging. You once stated you have been lurking around the site for 7 years, since you were 21, and you haven't had an encounter yet, despite having an add up for at least 2 years.

Work on having a loving relationship, you will understand more about couples and swinging by doing that then anything else.

*sigh* thanks for your concern, but that's not what this thread is about. If you would like to talk about my so called "problem" feel free to pm me.

[LICouple4u]

Let me insert my minor vent here... I just wish ALL couples would send a response back - even IF to say "Thanks, but no thanks." It is SO incredibly frustrating not to get any response back. I noticed there were some couples we messaged back in October that we got no response from and we don't know if it's because they forgot or was it because they weren't interested?

Anyway, I would keep doing what you are doing, send a thoughtful note to the person you would like to contact and hope for the best. I wish I knew a magical formula to get a response back, but being yourself is the best way to be