Our brief tour through Adult Friend Finder (AFF)

[2jersey]

Four weeks ago, we decided to join Adult Friend Finder (AFF) for a month to see if there was anything we were missing on Swing Lifestyle. Based on our experience, there are many couples on AFF who aren’t on Swing Lifestyle (and vice versa) – so it was a worthwhile effort. Our membership is expiring soon and we are not going to renew. As we prepare to delete our profile, we have been sorting through our messages and it has made us realize what a horrible experience we have had on AFF. (We have single males blocked, and we have expressed no interest in single females, so our interaction has been solely with couples.)

WINKS: We received 48 winks, and we recall having winked back on a few occasions. We also took the initiative to message three couples who winked at us. Not a single one of the couples who winked at us followed up with a message or responded to our message. Winks may be useful for getting people to notice your profile, but they don’t seem to indicate serious intentions.

NETWORK OF FRIENDS: We received and declined 12 network invitations. Joining a network allows you to view private photo albums, but many people (including us) don’t have albums. We weren’t interested in viewing photos of the people who sent us invitations. We noticed that some people have very large networks, so there must be a prestige (or ego) factor associated with getting people to join a network. We think the entire concept is ludicrous.

INBOX: We received messages from 32 different couples and we responded promptly to each message. We sent polite rejections to 24 couples (a 75% rejection rate), and sent an encouraging message to the other 8. Of the 8 people we encouraged, we heard back from only 4, and the other 4 were never heard from again.

OUTBOX: We initiated contact with a total of 6 couples – sending a personalized message in each case. One couple wrote us back and told us to “FUCK OFF”, three couples completely ignored us (no reply), and two couples provided a reply with some encouragement. Had we not gotten so many unsolicited messages, we probably would have initiated contact with more people. Our failure to be more proactive may have been our biggest mistake – and one which we probably would rectify if we decided to stick with AFF any longer.

FACE PHOTOS: So, in total, we got to the stage of exchanging messages with 6 couples, including the 4 who had initiated contact with us, and 2 for which we initiated contact. We agreed to exchange face photos with each of these six couples and, being the idiots we are, sent our face photos first in each instance. Drum roll please…

SCARY FACES?: Of the six couples we sent face photos, we never heard back from 4. In each instance, we followed up after about a week, but still heard nothing. They have our photos, we don’t have theirs, and we were not even afforded the courtesy of a ‘no thank you’. One couple actually complimented our photos and sent us their face photos, as they had promised. Unfortunately, we had to reject this couple based on their appearance (we felt horrible, but it was necessary – and at least we sent them a polite note.) One couple complimented our photos and said they would send theirs when they returned from vacation. They have been home for four days now, and we still have not heard from them.

BOTTOM LINE: In four weeks on AFF, we have not met a single couple with whom we will have any ongoing relationship. Most people who we encountered were incredibly rude and insincere (could be a New Jersey thing). Many of the bells and whistles on the site are of little or no value (at least to us). The site is cluttered with standard members and it has a very impersonal look and feel. We think the swinger community would be very well served if there was some consolidation between all of the various ad sites – and we won't mind if AFF disappears entirely.

[biblonde]

We started on AFF but had problems such as you guys. We now stick to mostly Swing Lifestyle. there are still some morons on there but for the most part we have had great success on there. Good luck!!!

[JnCC]

A couple years ago, I was contacted by a woman on a vanilla site. She asked if I'd like to meet on the riverfront for a drink, and I accepted.

It turned out that she was 40 years old, had 6 kids by 3 men, and was currently living with her boyfriend of 10 years. To say that her pics were simply "outdated" would be both an understatement and a kindness. I asked her what the problems were between her and the boyfriend, and she replied... "He don't like sex no more. I even took him to one of them 'swinger clubs,' and he didn't like that, neither"

She asked if, by chance, I'd seen her ad on AFF. (I had not)

The evening ended with a blow job, after which, I never saw her again.

I guess MY "brief tour through Adult Friend Finder" was even briefer than yours.

[neoparadigm]

Guess what..
AFF ROCKS!

AFF is four people who want SEX not soccer moms and backyard BBQs

I am all about AFF

great site..

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by JnCC

The evening ended with a blow job, after which, I never saw her again.

She had a dick, too?



Sorry - couldn't resist...

Sorry that happened to you. I don't envy anyone trying to wade through dating sites - I just wish the odds were better for you.

Oddly, the first couple we met was off of AFF. We had a fairly long term friendship with them and since they have moved off, we talk about them often and miss them quite a bit.

The other couple we met were good people, but not a couple we were interested in. They were using the site to find vanilla friends ( ) and we really were looking to explore. Not good chemistry, so we moved on. We've seen them since - oddly we were with a lifestyle couple that we are close to and they were with a couple that apparently they go to hockey games with...

We all seem to have found what we were looking for!

We left AFF mostly because we weren't going to look for friends anymore. At the time, the thought of finding one couple we were close to was good enough - no sense keeping an ad up...

Never really had a problem - but we've been pretty lucky with the lifestyle.

Your experience is typical of what we hear about the site.

Spoomonkey

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by neoparadigm

AFF is four people...

Only four?

Damn...

How do they afford to keep the lights on?

There were way more folks when we were there...

Spoomonkey

PS - Maybe that was the problem, 2J... The other two just got tired of getting the same e-mail over and over

[biblonde]

SPOO...your killin me today...your on a role!!

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by biblonde

SPOO...your killin me today...your on a role!!

I am doing tricks so you'll pet me

Spoomonkey

PS - I am on a lot because we have discovered the one Chinese Restaurant in Ohio that we will never eat at again...

[CandPinSA]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

Only four?

Damn...

:-) I laughed about that too. And to the poster of this thread... We agree... We really just don't like AFF at all.

C

[biblonde]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

I am doing tricks so you'll pet me

Spoomonkey

PS - I am on a lot because we have discovered the one Chinese Restaurant in Ohio that we will never eat at again...

Ohhhh bummer to hear that....and cummm on over who wouldnt pet a purple monkey!! Good monkey....

[Mrs Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by biblonde

Ohhhh bummer to hear that....and cummm on over who wouldnt pet a purple monkey!! Good monkey....

So how much is a flight to Sacramento? Hmmm, will they let monkeys fly

Mrs Spoomonkey

[Thrax]

Originally Posted by Mrs Spoomonkey

...Hmmm, will they let monkeys fly

There has to be a joke in there somewhere, I just can't put my finger...well, I won't put my finger on it, actually.

Thrax

[biblonde]

well it says it takes 34 hours to drive to your house toooo long..lol.. so we could always sneak spoo on with a disguise...lol do you think they would notice the long purple tail??? lol

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by biblonde

lol do you think they would notice the long purple tail??? lol

That's no tail, baby

Spoomonkey

[JnCC]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

She had a dick, too?

Jeezus, now that you mention it, I probably should have checked. I usually do, any time their moustache is thicker than mine...