Creating an Honest Profile that doesn't offend

[djjwp]

We were wondering after posting a reply to a thread on “Professional” and what it means to begin to wonder how you create a profile that is honest about what you are looking for without offending anyone. Should you try? It seems that thread showed folks get down right offended by not meeting a attribute that someone is looking for.

Take this for instance; it seems perfectly OK to say you are looking for a bi-female but not OK to say you do not want a BBW. How can you be honest about what you are looking for without offending someone? Must we always be politically correct over honest about what turns us on or off?

What are some suggestions to create a PC profile and still not get contacted by the type of person who does not possess what you are looking for?

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by djjwp

We were wondering after posting a reply to a thread on “Professional” and what it means to begin to wonder how you create a profile that is honest about what you are looking for without offending anyone. Should you try? It seems that thread showed folks get down right offended by not meeting a attribute that someone is looking for.

Take this for instance; it seems perfectly OK to say you are looking for a bi-female but not OK to say you do not want a BBW. How can you be honest about what you are looking for without offending someone? Must we always be politically correct over honest about what turns us on or off?

What are some suggestions to create a PC profile and still not get contacted by the type of person who does not possess what you are looking for?

Just be honest and take the risk of offending someone. It happens.

[txduo2000]

Our take is that we try to be diplomatic, but still honest in what we are seeking. We understand that there are those who will not contact us because what our profile says might be offensive to them, or if not actually "offensive", then they will simply realize that they don't fit our bill. I would hope that even those who do not fit our ideal, do not take on a negative perception of us, but that is something that is simply out of our control. And we do not want to leave out specific preferences, because we want to make sure that we do actually get to meet people we would truly be interested in getting to know.

Our profile basically states that we prefer HWP, easy-going people who are either white or hispanic. It's just our preference. It's not that we look down upon those who do not fit our preferences; it's that we feel that time is too limited to communicate with those we truly believe we would not be sexually attracted to.

Even in vanilla life, we have people that we care about ... our friends and co-workers, for example. Doesn't mean that if we suddenly discovered they were swingers we would want to hop into bed with them.

Of course, our intent is certainly not to offend anyone, but like Chicup says, it happens. And although our intent is not to offend, those who may be offended by what we say are probably not those we would want to get to know anyway. I mean, people have to understand that different people have different preferences, and we do not all fit into everyone else's ideal. We understand that, after all. I, for instance, am not offended in the least if someone hates redheads, or prefers women with small breasts. Likewise, my husband is not offended if certain women prefer circumcised penises, as his is not, or long-haired men with lots of tattoos. It's just a matter of different strokes for different folks.

[Sweet_Candy]

Say what you mean . . . be honest and let the chips fall were they may. Swinging is supposed to be about communication which to us means things will be said at times that may hurt but will be rooted in the truth. Your personal ad is nothing more than your desire to meet what you want, not what other's think.

[Pepper & Drew]

The way we see it, those who would be so easily offended aren't people we'd like to spend our time with. At the same time, we don't want to waste our with people who aren't going to be interested in us. There's plenty of ads that we come across that say whites only. Do we send nasty-grams to them? Nope. There's plenty of people who do want to be with us that we don't have to worry about those who don't.

Pepper

[Floorman56]

I suppose it depends on how you say it too. I have seen people say "we are hight and weight apporate and are seeking the same" but I have also seen "skinny and hot girls only" and "we don't do fattys" Or "if you don't take care of yourself we don't want to talk to you "

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by Floorman56

I suppose it depends on how you say it too.

Dito

We know that there are people out there who aren't looking for us, but it is the way that is communicated. You can tell a lot about a personality by how they write. Two couples can be looking for the exact same things, but the one who words their interests sensitively would interest us more.

Spoomonkey

[ANGEDKY(mr)]

Say what you mean . . . be honest and let the chips fall were they may. Swinging is supposed to be about communication which to us means things will be said at times that may hurt but will be rooted in the truth. Your personal ad is nothing more than your desire to meet what you want, not what other's think.

You are right, however there is a proper way to say it! But alas, I think the "internet anonymity" has alot to do with it. Very few of the folks that write distasteful ads would ever say those things face to face so the reality is they are saving you time, energy and money. While showing the world what an ignorant asses they are..........................KARMA at its finest and while you are out on the town on Saturday nite having a ball with good friends, where are they ?? Sitting home checking the email wondering why there has only been 2 responses in the last 18 months

[JustAskJulie]

I don't think there is anyway to get around offending someone. You are much better off to be completely honest about what you do and don't want, than to not be upfront and then offend someone later when you turn them down because they didn't fit qualifications you never made clear.

The big thing with some terms, like "professional" is that the meaning is unclear, therefore anyone who doesn't understand what you mean is probably going to be annoyed at the least - plus you are more likely to get people who respond thinking they fit but in your mind they don't. So, one thing to remember is that while you may understand what you mean, others may not. So, it's important to use terms and descriptions that are CLEAR and leave no room for doubt.

[ItTakes3]

It makes no difference whether clear terms and descriptions are used or not. There is always someone who thinks the terms don't apply to them. Our ad clearly states that she doesn't like facial hair and men must be taller than her 5'8". Despite that, yesterday we had a response from a guy who says in his ad that he is 5'7" and then he asks if she considers a mustache facial hair.

[sereneiders]

Originally Posted by ItTakes3

It makes no difference whether clear terms and descriptions are used or not. There is always someone who thinks the terms don't apply to them. Our ad clearly states that she doesn't like facial hair and men must be taller than her 5'8". Despite that, yesterday we had a response from a guy who says in his ad that he is 5'7" and then he asks if she considers a mustache facial hair.

LOL, well, perhaps this guy is wearing a plastic made Groucho like muctache

[GerdOEvert]

I am dumb.

Is mustache "facial hair" I would think only a beard qualifys. But apparently I would be wrong.

When you say, Men over 5' 9", a guy at 5' 7" says "I am pretty close". [I am 6'2"]

It is a little like specifying cock length. It needs be more than 6 3/4 and more than 3 3/4 in circumference.

In both cases, I would not worry too much, and you could throw me out.

Otto

[Deptydog]

Some people are going to be offended no matter what you write or how you phrase it. You just have to be honest about what you want. It's not my responsibility to ensure that my ad is so completely non-offensive (is that a real word?) that you can't tell what we're looking for.

For example: Married white couple (although we are all brothers and sisters under the skin), mid 40's, height and weight appropriate (as defined by the U.S. Government's latest standards for obesiety) fun loving, and PC looking for a couple (although single females are also welcome) ( Not that there's anything wrong with single males. It's just a lifestyle choice that we have made that works for us) (we feel that all forms of humanity have merit, but some just aren't within our comfort zone at this time, although that could change as we grow and mature),...um...where was I?...Oh yeah...looking for a couple, height and weight appropriate also, (not that there is anything wrong with gravity-challenged people. We feel that your size is what it is and we aren't passing judgement on anyone) non-smokers (again, just a choice. Besides, why would you want to give your money to Big Tobacco?), light drinkers (Did you know that a glass of wine a day is good for your heart. Please consult your physician before accepting any advice about imbibing alcoholic beverages.), disease free, and...um...uh...I lost my train of thought. Awww, forget it. We're not in the mood anymore.

I'm the president of my local chapter of P.O.O.P. (People Offended by Offended People). Our motto is: Your offended state is offensive to me. Feel free to join.

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by Deptydog

Some people are going to be offended no matter what you write or how you phrase it. You just have to be honest about what you want. It's not my responsibility to ensure that my ad is so completely non-offensive (is that a real word?) that you can't tell what we're looking for.

For example: Married white couple (although we are all brothers and sisters under the skin), mid 40's, height and weight appropriate (as defined by the U.S. Government's latest standards for obesiety) fun loving, and PC looking for a couple (although single females are also welcome) ( Not that there's anything wrong with single males. It's just a lifestyle choice that we have made that works for us) (we feel that all forms of humanity have merit, but some just aren't within our comfort zone at this time, although that could change as we grow and mature),...um...where was I?...Oh yeah...looking for a couple, height and weight appropriate also, (not that there is anything wrong with gravity-challenged people. We feel that your size is what it is and we aren't passing judgement on anyone) non-smokers (again, just a choice. Besides, why would you want to give your money to Big Tobacco?), light drinkers (Did you know that a glass of wine a day is good for your heart. Please consult your physician before accepting any advice about imbibing alcoholic beverages.), disease free, and...um...uh...I lost my train of thought. Awww, forget it. We're not in the mood anymore.

I'm the president of my local chapter of P.O.O.P. (People Offended by Offended People). Our motto is: Your offended state is offensive to me. Feel free to join.

[djjwp]

Originally Posted by Deptydog

I'm the president of my local chapter of P.O.O.P. (People Offended by Offended People). Our motto is: Your offended state is offensive to me. Feel free to join.

I LOVE IT!

Where I work is so PC that I hate it. What a breath of freash air!