Profile Picture Perception

[northindycpl]

While browsing through profiles the other day, I noticed that I am really becoming somewhat judgemental on just profile pictures.

I used to actually read the profile, and then look at the pictures, and if interested, contact them.

Now I am immediately looking at the pictures, judging them upon review and never making it to the actual reading of the profile.

I was reviewing single male profiles yesterday and noticed a picture of a single male, whose face was blocked out, with a couple whose faces were not. Upon looking at the other pictures, I noticed his face was blocked out on all of them, however all the couples faces were shown, and there were several couples. Maybe a total of 40 pictures in all, in the public view of all the members of this particular site.

MY immediate reaction was that this guy is an ass. A notch collector and I moved on, never giving him any additional thought.

Mr. Indy and I were discussing it last night on the way to club and he stated, that he took that profile as maybe the couples consented to it. That is a thought that never crossed my mind. When I looked at the profile today, and actually read what this guy wrote, I got a much different view of him.

Honestly, am I becoming a judgemental bitch, or do others think this too?

[JustAskJulie]

There are some cases where I would definately judge a profile by the picture. And in the case you mentioned, I HIGHLY doubt that ALL Of those couples said it was ok to leave their faces in - and really even if his face was showing, I would still make the same assumption about the guy that you did. To me, he is saying "look at me, look at all these couples I've done", in reality, it's probably nothing of the sort.

I know of one single male that I knew personally whose profile was noticed by the webmasters at Swing Lifestyle because one of his pictures had me (and another girl in it). The webmaster actually contacted me to ask me about it. I knew where the picture had come from but I hadn't given him permission to use me in his search for people.

There are other things that would be instant turn-offs (go no further) in pictures -
People using family portraits with kids in them.
Pictures of nothing but sexual organs

[HotMama]

I can't help but laugh at the Pics posted of the sloppy bedroom with three days worth of clothes on the unmade bed.... With a few empty beer cans/bottles on the nightstand, along with a bag of chips and a dildo.

Seriously, what goes thru peoples minds before they post pics?
" HEY HONEY, know what would look great? lets not clean for a few days, then post a few pics of me in dirty socks, on my unmade bed!"

Are me and my husband the only people that get a kick out of these people?

[EmpyreanPleasur]

Sometimes a picture just hits me the wrong way. I always read the profiles and may rethink my original impression of the picture once I do, but you can't help initial impressions and the picture is the easiest one to get a quick view of.

[txduo2000]

Hubby does most of our profile shopping, and I know that he tends to first look at pics to decide whether or not to take the time to read through the profile. If he doesn't like what he sees in the pics, he won't even bother reading the written word.

I, on the other hand, will read the profiles first generally. Maybe it's because I like to read, maybe it's because I believe that the written profile means a little bit more than the actual physical appearance of people, and my opinion of them is based on their quality of writing, depth of information and overall description of themselves. I have, I will admit, passed folks up based on their pics, even if I did like their profile. Face it, there has to be SOME level of physical attraction in order to meet.

However, I will also add that we met one couple at a house party and lightly played with them. They gave us their Swing Lifestyle name so that we could hook up again sometime, and once I looked up their profile, I could see right off that I probably would not have selected them from a profile shopping spree. But having met them, we got to know THEM a bit, and it's just so different that way.

[robel12550]

I (Rob) usually do the "shopping", if you will. We both though agreed upon NOT posting or sending photos for various reasons. Likewise, we don't really judge the profiles by the photos for the same reasons. Unfortunately, when someone has posted a photo, there is a certain "judgement" that must take place. For the most part, I'm only looking for one major concern we have, which is HWT. (OK, I'm shallow, go ahead and say it.) Since we want to develop relations beyond "one night stands", we're looking for people who share roughly the same values as us. Therefore, though we don't hold anything against others that have, for lack of a better phrasing, "a few extra pounds" (and we mean roughly 30 lbs more than would be expected for that height, not 5 or 10), but we can't see hanging out with them on a regular basis. We like to maintain an active lifestyle with hiking and water sports etc. and we're expecting that some of the folks we meet up with will join us in those activities.

Now I don't want to get into the discussion that we could meet some folks who "now" have a few extra pounds, but are working on losing and in a year, through very diligent "work" (and I appreciate the aspect of "working" at it, believe me), they would be in the type of shape we'd appreciate. Many times I feel a certain amount of "guilt" about those possibilities. But there is some "judgement" that occurs.

Then there's the profiles where the photos don't quite match up with what the profile text is saying. Many times I think the photo of two (2) people is being posted by the "guy" who states "I" this and "I" that which triggers in me the question "Will we end up seeing both of them or only him?" So sometimes you might need to spend more time evaluating both items.

Since we're looking for long term situations with more than just sex, we concentrate more on the profiles. I figure it depends upon what you're really looking for. As I tell the missus many times, there are many "strata" to the "swinging lifestyle". If you're only looking to have sex, then you'll spend more time examining and judging photos. If you're looking for something beyond that, you'll spend more time considering the text.

And that's my $0.002. Hope it made sense and helped.

Rob

[kittycat11]

Doesn't the saying go "a picture is worth a thousand words?".... I may be new at this but pictures can make it or break if for me and hubby. We try to post provocative but tasteful pics (maybe we are just shy.. who knows?) but pictures can be a turn off when they are just plain gross or like you said 'sloppy'. I always think "didn't they look at that pic before they posted it?". We always continue to read the profile but it's hard to get past the initial impression.

[starlinn]

Originally Posted by HotMama

I can't help but laugh at the Pics posted of the sloppy bedroom with three days worth of clothes on the unmade bed.... With a few empty beer cans/bottles on the nightstand, along with a bag of chips and a dildo.

Seriously, what goes thru peoples minds before they post pics?
" HEY HONEY, know what would look great? lets not clean for a few days, then post a few pics of me in dirty socks, on my unmade bed!"

Are me and my husband the only people that get a kick out of these people?

I have to agree with you on this one. What is even worse, did they actually "clean up the room" before taking the pic to post? Really, what did the room look like BEFORE the picture was taken? Those are the thoughts that go through my mind.
We are not a picture posters. We have nothing to hide, but my profession. I chose my career before we chose to swing, and I have to be very descrete. Recently on Swing Lifestyle, I noticed that a former employee had set up a profile. I was shocked that she posted a picture, with her face, right on the site! I am just praying that she doesnt contact me...

[BodyScape02]

Originally Posted by kittycat11

Doesn't the saying go "a picture is worth a thousand words?".... I may be new at this but pictures can make it or break if for me and hubby. We try to post provocative but tasteful pics (maybe we are just shy.. who knows?) but pictures can be a turn off when they are just plain gross or like you said 'sloppy'. I always think "didn't they look at that pic before they posted it?". We always continue to read the profile but it's hard to get past the initial impression.

I couldn't agree more... especially the OP’s example about faces of couples being exposed... that is someone with no common sense and no discretion... His pictures say allot more about him than his words.

Also if the profile wording states "sophisticated " or "urban" couple and all I see it a girl/couple/guy in a baseball cap with the college "curve" in the brim and a NASCAR t-shirt? Their words are incongruous with thier photo.

I assume the person is not what they are presenting themselves as in words either. It is one thing to want to persent your best qualities... it is another thing to state you are what you are not .

I Know, I don't have time to delve into every profile...so this method cuts down on my search time.

We put allot of time into creating an enjoyable image for people to view… so we appreciate people who take the same care and concern with that.

It is the beggining of seduction for us and we find people with sensuous photos better suited to us and in general more attentive lovers.

So no,northindycpl, you are not being a judgemental bitch ... you are being "selective" and there is nothing wrong with that.

~Cat

[northindycpl]

Originally Posted by BodyScape02

Also if the profile wording states "sophisticated " or "urban" couple and all I see it a girl/couple/guy in a baseball cap with the college "curve" in the brim and a NASCAR t-shirt? Their words are incongruous with thier photo and I assume the person is not what they presented themselves as in words either. it is one thing to want to persent your best qualities... it is another thing to state you are what you are not ... or to write what you "hope" will attract people...(if you are nothing like that).

So no,northindycpl, you are not being a judgemental bitch ... you are being "selective" and there is nothing wrong with that.

~Cat

I couldn't agree more!

I recently recieved an ad reply from a single man. His photos weren't in his profile, but after reading his profile and his email, I decided to ask for them to be emailed to me.

Now his profile stated that he was an executive professional, living in a very nice area of our town, and that due to his high level career, descretion is a must. His ad went on to say that he enjoyed the ballet and opera, quiet evenings at home with wine and jazz, physically fit, etc... etc... etc....

When I recieved his photos He was practically toothless, with a mullet and there, next to his erect penis, was a 40 of Pabst Blue Ribbon.

I have to admit that I really thought it was a joke.... I emailed him back and casually mentioned that I wondered if he had more pictures he could send. He complied and sent me several more, one with his middle finger prominately displayed next to his erect penis.

False advertising.

[BodyScape02]

OMG! That is tooo rich...

[DBL D]

The problem with judging from a photo is that some people just either don't have the talent to take a good photo or got the "wrong side of their face" in it.

NIC, remember how difficult it was for you guys to get a good nipple shot? Don't you like your nipples? Do they have a good side? Would you like to be judged on just how your nips look? I know you are being a bit humorous with this so I am too and am not busting you at all, just trying to give a different perspective.

Male D

[Pepper & Drew]

Originally Posted by northindycpl

Now his profile stated that he was an executive professional, living in a very nice area of our town, and that due to his high level career, descretion is a must. His ad went on to say that he enjoyed the ballet and opera, quiet evenings at home with wine and jazz, physically fit, etc... etc... etc....

When I recieved his photos He was practically toothless, with a mullet and there, next to his erect penis, was a 40 of Pabst Blue Ribbon.

I have to admit that I really thought it was a joke.... I emailed him back and casually mentioned that I wondered if he had more pictures he could send. He complied and sent me several more, one with his middle finger prominately displayed next to his erect penis.

False advertising.

Now, NIC, what led you to believe he wasn't sincere? I see guys all the time at the ballet (pronounced BAL et) with mullets. And, don't they serve Pabst at intermission?

Hell, at least he sent you the right pictures. Imagine how ticked you'd be if he'd sent pictures of the guy that he depicted in the ad and then showed up with his toothless self.

[Chicup]

I will be the first to say that if the pictures are not close to what we are looking for, then what is in the profile most likely won't matter, and I won't bother reading.

But.....

Just because the pictures are attractive to us, means nothing with a poor profile. I couldn't tell you how many times we have received emails from a couple where the pictures were 'our type' but the profile looked like it was written by their 8 year old. ANY semblance of grammar, sentence structure, and spelling was out the window. The concept up upper and lower case letters often does not register as well. Worse, if you are a 35 year old 'educated' couple why the hell would you be using AOL slang? Example 'u 2 r hawt, checkus out!'.

Pictures can be a deal breaker, but the profile is even more important. And for christs sake, no need to mention that he loves eating pussy and she loves hard cock. It would be far more remarkable if he didn't do oral and she liked them limp. THAT at least would tell us something about you to set you apart.

[Greg & Sheryl]

As much as people may believe that you can't judge a book by its cover, it's only human nature to do so, so don't bother feeling guilty about some of the conclusions you make. First impressions are very important, so it's everyone's responsibility to make the best impression they can with the photos they post.

In regard to the single male you mentioned, even if we assume that he received consent from the couples in his photos, he still gives the impression of being a notch collector. That might work for some people, but if that doesn't work for you, you were right to pass on his profile.