How important is a "couples pic" in a couples' ad?

[LikeMinds321]

In another post goodtimes mentioned:

. . . to interest us the man and the woman need to be pictured. Even though I much prefer looking at pictures of women, clothed or nude, if the ad doesn't have pictures of both we normally would pass it by.

His comment made me think - How important is it that the couple be together in one picture? [Hopefully goodtimes can comment on whether this is what he meant.]

I've found so many ads where only the woman is pictured. A month ago we made contact with a couple with just such an ad. We asked for a picture of the man and it was sent. But I still wonder if we should ask for a picture with the two together. Or at least get on the phone with them soon before going any longer on the email. They have been slow to proceed, yet still seem eager, I'm beginning to wonder if this is a lone guy trying to string us along.

Have you discovered that some of the women-pictured-only ads turn out to be men searching on their own who are using an ex-wife's or playmate's pic?

LM

[mixedcouple3426]

[QUOTE]

Have you discovered that some of the women-pictured-only ads turn out to be men searching on their own who are using an ex-wife's or playmate's pic?[/QOUTE]

I've noticed the same thing and it makes me wonder.I've also seen many posts on here where couples meet up and the woman isn't attracted to the man.Some of these ads almost seem baited which makes me think of your second quote.Is it just me or do alot of these ads seem to have a common thread where the man is much older than the woman.They a show pics of an attractive young lady with lots of info about her and very little about the man.At first I was thinking that maybe the women are making these ads either without the man knowing or maybe theres more interest in the lifestyle on the f's side.I didn't think of the posibility of men making these ads on their own until I saw your second quote.

mixedcouple3426

[Denver2some]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

Have you discovered that some of the women-pictured-only ads turn out to be men searching on their own who are using an ex-wife's or playmate's pic?

None that we could actually prove. But one where we are extremely suspicious. He IMed us whenever we were on, and she was never available to chat also. ("Oh, she is here but can't come to the computer right now.") And he never provided a photo of himself when asked. He of course asked multiple times for more of me (female.) We've since blocked him. :rollseyes

We prefer, but don't require, a joint photo. We do, however, require a photo of each (preferably G-rated) ... and chatting with each. Chatting could be faked easily, I guess ... but it's worked well for us so far.

[stoutgatte]

Our current profiles only have pics of the missus. It is not because I'm camera shy or anything, but we prefer only R-rated pics anywhere public. Now since we also don't want to show our faces on our profile it makes pics of me difficult to say the least. I guess we should take a couple in undies or something (any ideas?).

Anyway, back on topic, we also have only about 6 pictures of us as a couple, and all were taken at parties etc where someone else were taking pics and e-mailed them to us. We share these when asked for them.

Even more on topic (I hope), I've not met many single guys that were very good at impersonating couples. Most of them were not very convincing, and their predicament of not having an SO gave them away pretty quickly...

[good times]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

His comment made me think - How important is it that the couple be together in one picture? [Hopefully goodtimes can comment on whether this is what he meant.]

We prefer that they have a picture of the couple together, but that isn't what we meant. The ones we pass on are the ones where they only have pictures of one of them. Whats a little wierd about this is that we do respond if their are no pictures at all.

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

Have you discovered that some of the women-pictured-only ads turn out to be men searching on their own who are using an ex-wife's or playmate's pic?

I've heard of this but never ran across it yet. I did get an email from a couple not too long ago that was a little wierd though. When I went to their profile their were seperate pictures of a good looking fit guy and a very voluptious attractive woman. Something about the woman looked familiar and after looking at the picture closer I saw a copyright tag in the corner of one of the pictures from a internet porn sight that used to be popular many years ago. After doing a search on my computer of my rather extensive porn collection I found the pictures that were on the sight. Now someone a lot less skeptical than me might say "wow, you lucky guy, to be married to one of the hottest porn models of all time.". Not likely, if for no other reason than this model would now be over fifty years old, I realized that this guy just put up pictures of his fantasy wife that he had found on the net, and it pissed me off. Well evidentely several others complained too, because about a week later their were new pictures of a more normal looking couple that were both 50 pounds heavier and considerably older than the people in the previous pictures. I still wonder what he had hoped to accomplish, even more so considering that the email was to invite us to an off premise party they were hosting.

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by goodtiimes

. . . I still wonder what he had hoped to accomplish, even more so considering that the email was to invite us to an off premise party they were hosting.

Some people have a strange sense of humor.

I think this guy must have thought it funny putting a porno model on his site. To him it may have been such a stretch to think she and he would be married that he figured no one would feel he was trying to pass her off as his wife, but merely revealing his fantasy.

We can only guess.

***

You mention that you will respond to ads without pictures...nothing too strange about that, unless you don't ever request a picture before meeting. Then that would seem counter to your usual pattern.

Do you request a picture?

Thanks for posting back.

LM

[good times]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

Do you request a picture?

No, we never have, what we have done is since we go to the local swingers clubs almost once a week we have just arranged to meet the couples there. It makes it much easier to go our seperate ways if their is no chemistry between us. So far very few people we have met were well represented by their pictures. They almost always look different in person so we normally go more by what they say in their ad than rely on their pictures.

I should add here that we have never initiated contact with anyone on an ad sight. We have had a number of people contact us from our ad, which is pretty amazing if you look at it, our ad is pretty lame. But we try to respond to everyone that contacts us. I guess the reason we don't request pictures is because we wouldn't send them if requested, unless we had already met the person, and then what would be the point in sending pictures?

[DanBridget]

Maybe we are not looking at this topic right.

But We feel that if you are couple then both pictures are required. Becuase you have not just one person looking at you and your spouse. You have two people looking and one or the other has to agree. What burns me is the people you come on, make an ad as a single male or female. And then when you read the profile they are a couple seeking a single person. And miss lead the reader becuase they have only a picture of the sex they claim the profile is.

Bridget

[fun_pairTX]

We will email someone that doesn't have a pic of both and request one. If we don't have a pic of both parties and a phone call where both parties are on the line we won't move out of the house to meet. This may sound harsh to some, but we have never gotten burned or wasted our time by adhering to it.

[JustAskJulie]

While it's all that much better (to me) if the ad has a picture with both partners in it. I'm happy to find ads that actually include pictures of both the husband and wife seperately. It seems so rare to find those even, and I understand how hard it can be at times to get both together for a pic (and have someone else take it).

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by fun_pairTX

We will email someone that doesn't have a pic of both and request one. If we don't have a pic of both parties and a phone call where both parties are on the line we won't move out of the house to meet. This may sound harsh to some, but we have never gotten burned or wasted our time by adhering to it.

This is the approach we follow and it has worked very well.

It greatly reduces frustration.

LM

[stoutgatte]

Originally Posted by fun_pairTX

We will email someone that doesn't have a pic of both and request one. If we don't have a pic of both parties and a phone call where both parties are on the line we won't move out of the house to meet. This may sound harsh to some, but we have never gotten burned or wasted our time by adhering to it.

I tend to agree... If they can't give a pic of both (at least on their own) then we won't meet em...

I don't understand why others said they wouldn't ask though? How much effort is wasted by asking? If you want to see facepics you often have to ask for those anyway...

[OhioCouple]

I think the importance of pictures are only important to the ones viewing them. For instance, my very visual husband is leery of any one that doesn't have pics, but could care less about if the male is pictured...he is perfectly fine with female only pics. I could care less about either....I care more about the content of their ad. The ad seems to tell me a whole lot more about the person(s) than any photo can and since most don't look exactly like their 'posed' for photo's any way, either due to 'glamour' shots or un-updated pics... well, what's the purpose? We have met people in which their pictures did not do them justice and we have met people in which I could only vaguely recognize the person pictured. Sometimes for the better, sometimes not.

In a nut shell, do whatever is comfortable for you, whether it be sharing none, sharing one gender only or sharing hundreds, in whatever way you wish to share it. You may lose a few along the way by staying within your own guidelines, but it's really not all that important in the grand scheme of things. Besides, someone that accepts your guidelines are much more likely to move one step closer to being someone you would consider swinging with.

[WesternSwing]

I think you don't see as many pictures of the man on profiles because for some reason the men won't post their pics. Ego? Maybe. I don't know. Or the old adage "less dick, more chick." Maybe it's because the guy is always taking the pics. But we prefer couples pics, or at least pics of both of them. Otherwise you begin to think "wife-baiting".

We have pics of both of us on our profile. Takes the guess work out of things.

Mr. WS

[ALilOEverything]

As I said I really like pictures of the couple together just because I really enjoy seeing pictures of two people in love. If the pictures are of them seperate, that's okay with me. We haven't run across anyone who's not really together.... yet. Our pictures are seperate because I really prefer to show recent pics and we haven't had a picture taken together without our kids attached in a very long time. Only one picture of me isn't private but the one of my husband is. That's not because my husband isn't cute (I think he's adorable) but because of the discretion factor with his job. We are more than willing to show his picture to people we are interested in and no one has felt like we were hiding something.

I do want to see a picture of both before meeting and so far no one has ever held back. From one experience I do prefer recent pictures though, people can change A LOT.