Pictures of couple didn't match their real-life appearance!

[Luna66]

Ok so here is the problem.
We are brand new to this and haven't had any real life experiances in the lifestyle yet. Anyway, we have been talking to this one couple for over a month. This couple is really nice and we are totally clicking and it just so happens that they live like 20 minutes away from us. We traded pictures and they are very cute. In the meantime other couples are trying to meet with us, but the hubby and I agreed that we would like our first time to be with the couple I'm speaking of (will call them Bob and Sue)because we are all getting along so well. So we finally make plans with them for next Friday. Today I'm over my friends house and I realize that she probably went to high school with "Bob". So I'm searching through her year book, just out of curiosity(and no she didn't know what I was looking for) and guess what I find; a picture of Bob. The problem is, its not the same guy in the pictures that he has been sending us. Not even close! I feel totally hurt and betrayed. We have been talking to these people for a month, hours on the phone and iming. I don't know how to handle this situation. We are supposed to meet them next week! Of course we won't now. Where they ever really planning to meet us? What do I say to them? This has really given me a negative vibe about swinging. Please tell me there is hope. That there are for real people out there. How do you know who's for real, and who you can trust? We thought we were being really careful and selective. Any coments or advice would be appriciated.
Thanks,
Luna

[stoutgatte]

Ouch.

There is hope, most people do not pretend. Note the most in there though. He's the rotten apple in the barrel, but don't let him spoil your fun, move on and find someone else. Like you said, there were many couples contacting you, take the time to find someone you trust.

Of course he might not have gone to that school, or some other honest mistake may have taken place. If you're interested, confront him and ask what's up, he'll probably try to spin a story, but what's the worst that happens? You go out find out he's not who he says he is, have a drink or two with hubby and maybe even dinner, not a bad way to spend time anyways...

[Elusive BiFem]

Originally Posted by Luna66

I realize that she probably went to high school with "Bob".

I'm confused, too. The confusing word to me is "probably." Why did you think she "probably" went to school with Bob? And depending on the age, isn't there the possibility he could have changed to the point of non-recognition? How do you know you were looking at the same Bob? Lots of questions you may be able to clear up...

Frankly, I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss him. Yes, there are liars and cheats out there, but like Stougtgatte said, what is the worst that could happen if you give this couple the benefit of doubt and meet with them? Ask him for answers. - EBF

[EternallySingle]

I know three other men with my same first and last name, middle initial, same age, same race, and general build. One is a professioal football player and because of him I almost always get the good reservations when I go to Ann Arbor or Detroit. Another is a lawyer and that has gotten me out of several tough jams. The last is a major in the Air Force, and that caused me a LOT of headaches during Desert Storm when I was attached to his unit for a week.

Didn't help that they all have the same complexion and enough features that we could be related. Actually, I think the football player and I are related five generations back.

The point is, unless this guy said he went to your friend's high school specifically, he could have gone to any school in the area. Your friend might have known him from the neighborhood, but not have gone to school with him.

If you're looking for a reason to back out of the meeting, you probably wouldn't have to look that hard. Instead, concentrate on looking for reasons to meet them. Any inconsistencies will immediately jump out at you if you try to look for their good points. If you only look for their bad points, you WILL find them, no matter how few there are.

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by EternallySingle

I know three other men with my same first and last name, middle initial, same age, same race, and general build. One is a professioal football player and because of him I almost always get the good reservations when I go to Ann Arbor or Detroit. Another is a lawyer and that has gotten me out of several tough jams. The last is a major in the Air Force, and that caused me a LOT of headaches during Desert Storm when I was attached to his unit for a week.

I was thinking the same thing, a case of multiple John Does! ES, you've got a perfect line up of them.

I agree with ES, meet with this couple. You may be worrying about nothing.

LM

[good times]

I've actually had an experiance like EBF referred to. We were at a club and a lady came up to me and asked if my name was R (my Full name). I indicated that yes that was me (unless I owed them money in which case my name was Don ). Anyway, she then said that her husband recognized me as he had gone to school with me. So I went over to him and he told me who he was but I didn't recognize him in the least. When I went home we looked him up in my high school yearbook and my wife and I agreed that he was so different now he was totally unrecognizable. I'm not saying that is what has happened here, but it is possible.

[chickadiva]

My thoughts are consistent with the other posters...unless you know for certain that "Bob" went to her school that same year, the person in the yearbook can be anyone. ES gave great examples of mix-ups!

Also, you mentioned this is a couple you've talked to for some time and you said:

The problem is, its not the same guy in the pictures that he has been sending us.

Well, if they sent more than one photo, and some are couples photos (both of them in the shot), and the guy is consistent in all the photos - what's the issue? That is an unlikely scenario for an outright "fake". Separate photos, or only one photo of the male, especially if it is "hot" and slick or professional in appearance - then I'd be more concerned.

I doubt many of us resemble our high school yearbook photos any longer and I'm not certain I really want to either!!


ETA: Whoops...I just clicked on Luna's profile and there is a b-date of 1980! ACK! I feel so old! Anyway, I guess they are closer to their HS photos than some of us.


~M

[sensuality]

Hi guys..
I don't know if many of you watch Oprah...but I was watching one show of hers the other day where she had George Michael as a guest.As I was reading the original post,he came to mind.During the show,Oprah did kind of a mini-bio on him complete with pictures.OMG...in his school pictures...especially from high school...you would not recognize him!! A seriously BIG difference.He was NOT in the least bit handsome...not even cute,I could not believe it! On the other hand, I was, what would be considered, an ugly duckling once upon a time..and I'm proud to say...{with no vanity whatsoever } The swan has arrived!! I guess what I'm saying is...people change.As you gain maturity and you grow,you tend to change and look better as you go!So, maybe this guy has just gotten over his ugly ducking stage Go meet them,you never know how it's going to turn out.If you're wrong, you're going to be the ones looking like flakes! If you're right,you'll be more experienced to handle things next time! Good Luck!!

[Luna66]

Hi guys thanks fo all your feedback.
You all made some points that I had not considerd in the first place.
Let me just clear some things up. First of all he told me where he went to school. It was my co-worker(friend) that I did not realize she went to school there untill I was over there and we were talking about where we grew up. Second he is 23 years old, the picture must of been taken when he was 18 or 19 right? Do people change that much in that short of time? I'm not talking body types or anything. I mean facial feature, haircolor, etc. And what really made me sure that this was the same guy, was that all his hobbies and activities listed in the book were things he had told us he liked to do now. So yes, I guess there is the possiability that he is who he says he is and this is just a simple mistake. As to still meeting with them, I m not sure about that. I am going to talk to them later, not yet sure if or how I will bring it up. I think last night when I wrote my first post, I was a little angry and dramatic I have had some time to think about and all your calm and collected response have calmed me down to. I will however let you know what happens
Thanks guys
Luna

[BodyScape02]

There are at least 5 or 6 men with the same 1st & last name as I, the male half here, in the local area.

[fun_pairTX]

Look alike/like names. I was the brunt of the opposite situation. Years ago a moved to a new town where I had never been before arriving. All of a sudden I had women coming up to me and calling me "Charlie", asking me why I had been ignoring them etc. This is kind of a mental reach for me being mistaken for someone else as I am 6'5" and #280. In my mind it would be more likely that I would be mistaken for a bear. Well I went into the neighborhood bar and this gal comes up and gives me the Charlie routine and is so insistent I have to pull out my drivers license to prove that I am NOT FREAKIN CHARLIE. The gal apologizes and I called the bartender down to the quiet end of the bar and asked what the f@%& was going on and he told me I was a ringer for this Charlie who had been hopping half the wives in town. I immediately went home and shaved my beard off before I caught an accidental bullet from some guy. I figure give em the benefit of the doubt, if I can look that ON he can look that off.

[hfire269]

I have a girl that was adapted into my side of the family with the same first and last names. Our birthdates are close and so is our SS#... and we live in the same small town only difference is that she has a crime sheet about 4miles long... makes finding a job very hard..lol

[wildtwo4uinva]

k.....how about this.......Has anyone (and I'm sure ya have)...gone to meet a cpl,and they were 15 to 20 yrs older then their pic?.........What are they hoping to accomplish with this?.......it has happened to us,.....I mean,what do you say? lol

[JustAskJulie]

It is still possible that someone could do some major changing in just 5 years. A major change in hairstyle/color can do a lot as can some minor cosmetic surgery. If you've ever watched one of those episodes of Oprah where someone has something to prove from someone in HS then you've seen that.

Have you asked him about it yet? I would simply say "Hey I was over at a friends that went to HS with you and decided to look you up in their yearbook. My you've changed! What's up with that?" and see what they say.

[Luna66]

Hi everyone,
So I asked him about the pics the other day. I just told him I had seen his year book picture and he looked real different. He just wrote back "lol yeah i've grown up". Later that day they canceled plans with us for that night. They have still been talking to us, so still not sure whats up with them, but I think hubby and I are over it. Talking to some new sexy couples and moving on!