Size matters.. to him...

[driveajeepnaked]

A bit of background first...

Mr Jeep and I began swinging together about 6 months ago. I had prior experiences with an ex many years ago, so understood starting slow and taking it easy with Mr Jeep. We started with FMF then progressed to soft swap with couples, then a full swap. That has been our only full swap experience so far.

Here comes the issue... Mr Jeep has "issues" with me being with a man that is more "penile-gifted" than he is. Don't get me wrong, his "jeepster" is very fine indeed, average length and on the thicker side. We have had many conversations about this and he feels that if I enjoy a bigger penis "too much" he knows that he can't achieve that feeling with me and will feel inadequate...

I see that many men WANT to see their wives/SO's enjoy a man larger than they are...or at least another male, often in a MFM. Mr Jeep would never consider a MFM, and is most comfortable in a FFM or MFMF as long as the other male is not a "physical challenge" to himself..

Opinions wanted...

Valarie

[intuition897]

I don't see how it's any different from us women comparing ourselves to other women with narrower waists, less cellulite, firmer asses, or bigger boobs. The list could go on to include longer hair, nicer skin, prettier face, better teeth...better whatever! Does Mr. Jeep prefer other women because they are more "physically gifted" in some way? Does he pout and shrug and slump because he has to go home with you? No, he doesn't! So how is this any different?

I guess the argument might be that penis size might have something to do with being able to satisfy you sexually. Size doesn't matter as long as you're in the average size range (less than average and it just means you need to get a little more creative I think). Even after you've had sex with a man who is really well hung, the whole pelvic region is lit up with nerve endings and extra blood flow to the area. It sounds like Mr. Jeep has a pretty good situation: average length with slightly above average girth. As I said in another thread, I'll take girth over length any day!

If you haven't tried it already, maybe splurge on a jumbo-sized dildo and try playing around with that. Ok, I know it's just a rubber toy and not the same as a real live man, but the physical sensations that are the issue in the big-penis-phobia problem are approximately the same. If he doesn't care about you having fun with your toy, try to compare the differences between the toy and the real deal. They aren't significant, IMO. Obviously, you won't run off with the toy, but is he really concerned about losing you to a guy with a bigger wang? I guess just try to let him know that the fact that you might enjoy sex with a guy with above-average equipment does not diminish your attraction to him in any way.

Hope this helps.

[HotMoCpl]

Here's my best shot for Mr. Jeep. Always remember: "At the end of every dance, end of every party and at the end of every day...you two go home together."

[EvilMJ]

The main thing that Mr. EVIL and I try to keep in perspective is that we do this to experience new and different things, it is not about comparison.

We enjoy seeing each other have a good time and at the end of the night if there is something interesting that we have tried with the other partner we often share it so we can try it out on each other. It is not a matter of OMG he was so amazing at this and that..it was..."Wow, I never tried this before, let me show you because I bet we are going to love doing it together."

It is not easy to get over our own self consious issues. I am not a size 6 and it took a little while for me to realize...I am happy the way I am, my hubby loves me for who I am ...and that's why he married me and that is why he comes home with me when it is all said and done.

Once he comes to terms with this, he will have no problems at all.

[curiousagain]

Ask him if he thinks he would find you less satisfying if he swung with a female who was tighter than you. I am sure he wouldn't and it would help him realize his fears are groundless.

[WesternSwing]

We know a couple with whom the husband is very well endowed. I mean VERY WELL ENDOWED. Mrs. WS once said sarcastically when we were talking about penis size "She has a 1%-er penis everyday, so why do they swing?" Get her point?

Mrs. WS had a long term relationship with a guy before she met me that was a 1%-er, and they had great sex together. My ex-wife has bigger tits than Mrs. WS and we had great sex together. Mrs. WS and I have even better sex with each other because although big dick and big tits may be a turn-on, they do not make for better sex. It is the fact that we love each other and are tuned-in to each other that makes for great sex.

We've swung with those that were visually bigger than me, and those that were visually smaller than me, and I couldn't see any difference in the way Mrs. WS enjoyed herself. I think for most women, and it sounds like you included, size has allot less to do with their enjoyment than the whole sexual experience does.

Mr. WS

[jedi6942]

I understand the concerns of driveajeepnaked'd husband because I share them. I was gifted by nature with a small dick, also. Mine is only about 4 inches and NOT big around. This is my biggest hangup about swinging so far. I've tried getting beyond it. So far, without success. Talk people. I need the help!

Thanks.

[oncewere]

Have him read the story *only a backrub?* in the story section of this board then let him know it is by someone with a four inch dick. And read the comments. Like Hertz, when you are smaller, you have to try harder. The main thing is to please the woman you are with and he seems to have that down pat. If you have experienced bigger dicks in the past remind him that you've tried them but you married him. There's more to a relationship than a big dick or big boobs.

[intuition897]

Originally Posted by WesternSwing

Mrs. WS and I have even better sex with each other because although big dick and big tits may be a turn-on, they do not make for better sex. It is the fact that we love each other and are tuned-in to each other that makes for great sex.
...I think for most women, and it sounds like you included, size has allot less to do with their enjoyment than the whole sexual experience does.

Mr. WS

Bingo! Really WS, that was perfect.

[mfmyeahbaby]

great post. its not about the size when involved in a mfm, its about her pleasure. in my situation the other is comperatively close in size, besides the ms admittely doesn't work the big slong. just focus on her pleasure and the 3 of you are sure to enjoy.

[Morose]

To try and answer your question (which seems like it is actually two), I read a few of your other post. In this post you appear to want your SO to let you be with other men with large penises. It also appears that you would like to have a MFM experience. The larger penis issue is not all that uncommon. If he is not comfortable with his body, that will show thru in his actions. As far as you wanting a MFM, have you looked at the pattern you have maintained? You introduced him to swinging by bringing a female into your sex life. You stated you really wanted to swing with couples, but thought that he would accept a single female better. Isn't that a little deceptive on your part? Then after you brought him into the "lifestyle" you give him an ultimatum to accept couples or nothing at all. Again, manipulation at it's best. It seems many people here made suggestions on how to trick your mate into the lifestyle. That I don't understand. My SO and I never manipulated each other. We knew what we wanted. If one of us decided to suggest something different, we would talk about it. If one of us was uncomfortable with the idea, we would not pursue it or try to trick the other into it... JMHO. Good luck with your situation.

[FLnewlyweds]

We have had only one MFM experience so I'm no expert.... but I too was a bit jealous/worried, whatever you wanna call it, because he was almost 10" long and thicker then myself. But when it came down to it I liked watching her take control of that thing like a pro. Not to mention she did enjoy it but she said bigger doesn't always mean better. Dicks have their own personality in a way (shape/size combination) and the emotional connection is the "big" difference in the experience between my wife and myself vs. with another man. Learning that from our first/only experiece was comforting to me and took the worry away. Maybe he'll settle down if you two just talk it through...my wife and I had talked about experimenting many times before actually going through with it. Had we not I don't think the result would have been as enjoyable.
Just a little advice form a newbie.....Sean

[driveajeepnaked]

Originally Posted by Morose

To try and answer your question (which seems like it is actually two), I read a few of your other post. In this post you appear to want your SO to let you be with other men with large penises. It also appears that you would like to have a MFM experience. The larger penis issue is not all that uncommon. If he is not comfortable with his body, that will show thru in his actions. As far as you wanting a MFM, have you looked at the pattern you have maintained? You introduced him to swinging by bringing a female into your sex life. You stated you really wanted to swing with couples, but thought that he would accept a single female better. Isn't that a little deceptive on your part? Then after you brought him into the "lifestyle" you give him an ultimatum to accept couples or nothing at all. Again, manipulation at it's best. It seems many people here made suggestions on how to trick your mate into the lifestyle. That I don't understand. My SO and I never manipulated each other. We knew what we wanted. If one of us decided to suggest something different, we would talk about it. If one of us was uncomfortable with the idea, we would not pursue it or try to trick the other into it... JMHO. Good luck with your situation.

Morose-

Sorry that you have misunderstood what I was trying to say... It is NOT that I'm looking to be with men with larger penises than my husband, but I feel that it is not a reason to reject another person as a playmate if everything else clicks. That is where we are at.
As for deception in bringing him into the lifestlye, there was NO deception. We agreed that since we could both enjoy being with a single female, and that is where he was most comfortable, why not start there... I didn't anticipate that he might not want to go further outside his comfort zone, and I wasn't ready to give up on the couple idea. We actually started out meeting couples with Bi-Females, but in our first experience, the M half was so pushy and arrogant, it left a bitter taste. Hence the FFM play...

Did I EVER say that I was looking for a MFM relationship? I wouldn't turn it down if he offered, but he won't and I accept that.

I think that your term "manipulation" is really honesty on my part. I was honest to tell him that I wasn't satisfied just playing with other females... Just like you'd have to honest enough to tell your SO if you were not satisfied in a situation. Would you expect him to let it continue if you said it wasn't what you wanted??

V

[AlanCatherine]

Hi driveajeepnaked

Great post. Catherine just had a terrific session with the biggest cock she has had in her life but it wasn't the cock that gave her the orgasms, it was the fingers and tongue working on the pleasure spots that did it. She didn't actually cum from anything he was doing with his cock, despite trying several positions, even though she did enjoy it and would like to have him again. She said that the size of his cock prevented him from making contact in the right spots, somehow. On the plus side, he moved from one position to the next without removing it from inside her. She thought that was cute. Also, he was able to massage her clit while still having a reasonable length inside her because his body didn't block access to it. She liked that too.

There are pros and cons apparently but honestly, a vagina will grip a pencil so any cock can feel good. I guess I am fortunate to be in the middle average crowd and achieve wonderful results with various techniques of lovemaking and foreplay. I certainly don't have a problem with a bigger dick in my wife's pussy.

[cuteIDcouple]

This is a very interesting thread indeed ...

When the MRS and I started swinging Size was a big curiousity with me, at first I was "SURE, a big dick for her would be OK" but the more I thought about it the more uncomfortable I got, especially seeing that 99% of the guys we kept seeing were bigger than I am (I'm between 5" and 6")

My concern was she would get stretched out and she would feel different to me.

Sooo .. where do I stand now ??

I have told her I will go second after a big cock anyday, in fact I prefer it now. This is after she had a guy that was nearly 8" and pretty thick. When I had the MRS after this guy she was more sensitive and a little swollen so she felt a lot tighter for me .. I loved it and so did she.

A word of caution though ... we did reach a point where were had been playing so frequently with other mfm situations that I did notice she was loosening up ... I'm not totally convinced it was just big dicks but more the frequency, but since we have slowed down she is back to the wonderful tight fit I am used to with her.

With that being said , it bugs me when I see comments that relate to the size of a womans boobs, or if they are more slender etc. The reason it bugs me is becuase NONE of those attributes affect the feeling or sensation of intercoarse, and most of the negative attributes about a womans physical appearance can be changed as in diet etc. but a mans cock size is something he is stuck with.

I have been able to witness first hand the pleasure my Wife gets when a bigger cock is in her, but the biggest difference is the bigger dicks don't have to work very hard, all they have to do is give her some motion and it feels great for her, where I on the other hand have to work harder and put more thought and effort into (no I'm not complaigning) and it's that coupled with our connection and what we have as husband and Wife that rounds out our experience as being something that NO BIGGER dick will ever be able to touch.

The other thing in relation to size is I have found I concentrate more on the womans total pleasure, as in oral and foreplay, I pay more attention to getting someone aroused then it's easy to use my average size to complete the fullfillment.

Hope that helps . . . Scott